Playlist
by MoonChildTM
Summary: TK set out after college hoping to get the life experience he needed to write his first novel, what he didn't expect was to be reintroduced to a girl from his past and how it would completely turn their lives upside down. Kari/T.K. Matt/Sora
1. Chapter 1

*****UPDATED AGAIN***** 9/26/2018

Hey friends, So, as I'm having a bit of a mental block with the second last chapter I decided to go back and read some of the first chapters, and then I needed to change some things. SOOooooOo here we are.

Spotify - Playlist FF - If you have trouble looking it up let me know!

Summary: TK set out after college hoping to get the life experience he needed to write his first novel, what he didn't expect was to be reintroduced to a girl from his past, and how it would completely change his story.

Disclaimer: I don't own "The Minstrel's Prayer," by Cartel. I also don't own Digimon or we would have gotten more then a water bucket scene by now in Tri…

Playlist

* * *

*Cue Music*

 _"Shelter me oh genius words_

 _Just give me strength_

 _Just to pen these things_

 _And give me peace to well her wings_

 _And carry on, oh carry on_

 _All you minstrels of the world_

 _We will catch our ladies ear_

 _We will win for us the girl"_

* * *

"I know you'll be getting on the plane about now so there wouldn't be any chance for you to turn back…She needed a place to stay…"

 _Shit._

I slammed my laptop shut, closed my eyes, and leaned back into my seat. _Shit. Shit. Shit._

"You gonna be sick?"

I cracked my eyes open and looked to my right, a guy a few years older than me was awkwardly holding an airline sickness bag in my direction.

I put up my hand to polity wave him off, "I'm good."

 _I'm screwed_ , I thought instead.

My name is T.K. Takaishi, and my summer was not going to go as planned.

* * *

I'd recently graduated from Nihon University, I studied English and Journalism, and had a job lined up at the newspaper where my mother worked. Suddenly though, everything fell through, there were budget cuts and I no longer had the position she'd worked so hard to get for me.

I was ecstatic.

I didn't want it, a life so carefully planned for me, with no room for side stories. I tried to go for creative writing, but my mother thought it was a wasteful path, and she wouldn't help me pay for anything wasteful. So, I got my degree while sneaking in as many other writing classes as possible, hoping that eventually I'd get to tell the stories I really wanted to.

Without a job, and no real motivation to look for one in the field I spent four years working towards, I struggled to figure out what I wanted to do with myself.

My brother, Matt, called me to catch up a few weeks after school ended and told me about the tour he was about to go on with his band, Astral Shade. They'ed been on a two year hiatus, wanting to work on new music and take some time away from the road, but were finally ready to get back out there. I felt myself drifting off during our conversation, feeling jealous at the way he took risks, knowing he'd always land on his feet. I'd gone quiet, stopped responding with the normal noises of acknowledgment. He asked what was up, I proceeded to word vomit out everything I'd been holding in, my irritation at looking for a job in a field I wasn't passionate about, and my lack of a plan otherwise.

"What do you actually want to do?"

I paused, no one had bothered to ask me that in a long time. I told him I wanted to tell stories, and write fiction, but I needed some actually space and time to do that without being badgered about a forty to fifty hour a week day job.

Then he gave me an offer I never expected. He told me to come with him on tour, that I could help out and essentially get a free trip across the country. I said, too quickly, that I couldn't do that, but he prodded. Why, what's holding me back, what's keeping me there.

Nothing. _Nothing was here anymore,_ I thought to myself.

"Just think about it," he told me, before we ended the call. So, I did. I kept myself up all night, head spinning in circles, trying to talk myself out of it.

The next day when my mother got home work, she started interrogating me about work again, and telling me I needed a plan. It clicked then. I needed to get the hell out of here for a bit. I called my brother and told him I was in, and proceeded to argue with my mother about the fact that I was an adult now, and it was time to make my own choices. In the end she gave me a half hearted blessing, but I didn't care either way. It was time to do something for myself.

As I started planning for my trip I thought about the last time I'd seen my brother, about a year ago, and how good it would be to get some time together.

Our parents divorced when I was young so we didn't have a normal childhood together. When they separated, so did we, I went with my mother and he went with our dad. I think the divorce kept us closer than most siblings though. We rarely argued with each other because we didn't occupy the same space, and we were always just happy to be spending any time together at all. It wasn't worth it to get worked up about any random annoyances.

He could be aloof, and more sensitive than he would outwardly admit. You'd find him alone before you'd find him in a big group. I, on the other hand, had always been outgoing and overly friendly, up until the past few years there wasn't really an event I wouldn't go to. I started to see why he appreciated the solitude though.

As social as I'd been growing up, I'd become a bit of a hermit the past hew years, much to the dismay of my friends. I didn't have an expansive social life in college. I played basketball, which took up most of the free time I had outside of work and studying. I was a good player, and probably could have taken it further, but I wasn't all that passionate about it. My senior year I helped coach more than play.

Now, I'd pretty much get thrown right in the thick of it. My brother was, by no means, a party type of guy, but I knew it kind of came with the territory. I knew he tended to go out quite a bit while on tour, but luckily he wouldn't be the only person I'd know, his girlfriend, Sora, would be coming as well.

She went to college in the States to be a fashion designer and was currently working on a portfolio so she could start applying for jobs. She'd proclaimed herself their stylist for the summer, quipping that, "They'ed never make it big dressed like budget normcore," whatever that meant.

Regardless, I was happy she would be coming with us, I missed her almost as much as him. She'd been like family since we were kids when we met her at camp one summer. They started dating in high school and besides a few minor bumps along the way they ended being the most solid couple I knew.

I'd offered to help work on their social media pages for them, editing copy and such, since none of them were that great at it. That was what I expected to do when I opened up my e-mail, read the copy he'd sent, but instead I received an atomic bomb.

 _She needed a place to stay._ I thought over and over again, trying to figure out what the heck had happened in the three weeks since I'd said I would be coming.

I opened up my laptop and read the rest of the letter. I wanted to be angry with him but I couldn't bring myself to it. I mean, Matt was pretty level headed about things like this. He could be intense and argumentative, but to invite someone into his home wasn't some split second decision. On top of that, he had always been extremely protective of me and would never want me in an uncomfortable situation, but I was still having a hard time processing what he was telling me and how or why it was even possible.

I hadn't seen or heard from her in over 4 years and now she was staying in my brothers spare room. There are approximately 8.5 million people that live in New York City, didn't she know anyone else? I knew she lived in the city, but I thought she was still dating Michael, so _why_ was she staying with my brother?

Kari Kamiya, was my best friend, then girlfriend, until she left without a word a few days after high school ended.

We originally met the same year my brother and I met Sora. Her brother, Tai, and my brother had become friends at camp and we initially bonded over being youngest two. We became fast friends since our brothers spent a ton of time together, and we both wanted to spend just as much time with them, we were unintentionally paired off. I went to a different school until fifth grade so we only saw each other a few times a month. I transferred after my mom got a new job and after that we started spending almost every single day together.

Everyone picked on us about dating, from an age that was probably too young to be suggestive, but we insisted we were only friends. Things started to change after our second year of high school. We started dating people and it always came down to this choice of them or us, they were threatened by our closeness, and neither one of us was willing to diminish the friendship for someone else. It wasn't until senior year that we finally realized there was more. We were only officially together for a few months, but since I'd known her for so long, it felt like we'd been together forever.

We made plans. We were going to go to the same college, move in together after two years, we talked about getting married after college ended. We were young and maybe that's just what you do when your young, make lofty romantic plans without thinking through the reality of it all. Even though she was just as involved in making the plans as I was, maybe it's what eventually scared her off.

That was the last I saw or heard from her, that is, until my friends started sending me the pictures of her with Michael at movie premiers. Michael's father was a famous actor and it appeared he helped him launch his own career. At the moment he was on some teen drama in the States. I ignored it as much as I could, but every once in a while someone would send me another story, because I apparently _needed_ to know. I was surprised she ended up with a guy like that, he was close with a mutual friend of ours and we met him twice while we were teenagers, but he always seemed really pompous, and for lack of a better word, a huge tool.

I wondered if she knew I was coming. What would I even say to her when I saw her?

"Hey!"

"How's life?"

"What are you doing now?"

"What the hell did I do to get ghosted?"

"Where's the best place to get sushi in the city?"

I probably should have been more over it than I was, but when you spend 10 years of your life with someone, you don't get over it that easily. I mean, I dated other girls during freshman year, but no one ever stuck for more than 3 months or so. After investing all that time into a person it just didn't seem worth trying again.

At least we would only be at Matt's place for a week before we left, I thought maybe she would just avoid me and we wouldn't have to deal with it at all. I settled into what was going to be a long fifteen hours.

By the time I landed at JFK I had about 32 conversations in my head with Kari, none of which ended well. I was feeling pathetic, this wasn't how I expected to start my ' _epic summer of inspiration_.'

No that's not the name of my book, that would be a shitty name, I'm working on the name though, and it will absolutely be better than that.

Anyway.

I spent most of my life quietly drowning in memories from the past, trapped in the spirals they often created, even before she left. The past few years had only made it worse, but I finally seemed to be managing it better, reading that though sent me right back down.

I knew I was looking rough from the flight so I popped into the bathroom shortly before we started to land. My eyes were bloodshot from the lack of sleep, making their normally sky blue color look too pale to be healthy. I let my hair down, shoulder length now, after years of letting it go and embracing that I could at least grow hair out of the back of my head. The men in our family were terribly pathetic in the facial hair department, so I took what I could get. I tried to comb it through with my fingers, but I gave up, and threw it up onto the top of my head securing it with the elastic I had dug out of my pocket.

As I headed toward the gate I tried to tug at my clothing and pull out some of the wrinkles to look slightly more presentable than I knew I did. My grey cargo shorts managed pretty well but my old camp shirt had seen far better days.

"TK!" I looked up when I heard my name being shouted over the bustling crowd. Any annoyance or anger I had at my brother faded the moment I saw him, he had the biggest grin on his face, and the only thing that stopped him from running over to me was him trying to keep his cool. I could always see through him.

I walked as fast as I could without breaking into a jog and when I got close enough I grabbed him for a tight hug. I was caught off guard as I was embraced from the side.

"T.K., it's so good to see you!" Sora had her arms tightly around me.

We pulled back while taking each other in.

Matt looked mostly the same except his hair was much more kept these days, it use to stick out all over the place with the help of way too much hair gel. Now it was shorter, faded on the sides with the top slicked back. I didn't know who looked like more of a hipster, him or me. He was wearing tight dark blue jeans, a black v-neck tee and black motorcycle boots.

Sora, on the other hand, had changed a lot, gone was the tomboy I had grown up with. Her auburn hair had gown a little past her shoulders and she had it dyed so it was a little darker at her roots than the tips. She was wearing one of those long one piece outfits where the pants and top were connected. It was black and she had on a pair of black scrappy sandals.

"It's good to see you too Sora." I looked back over to Matt. "I've missed you both way too much." Matt reached over to grab one of my bags as we started to walk away from the Gate.

"Well we have a whole summer to catch up." He smiled brightly, but after a few seconds his face fell. "So, um," he started to mumble.

I cut him off. "Yea, I got your e-mail right before takeoff." He looked down and Sora sent him a scolding look.

"You _just_ emailed him before his flight left?" She stopped in the middle of the airport, fuming, a few people bumped into her until Matt grabbed her arm to pull her along.

"Don't be so dramatic, I just didn't want him to freak out."

" _Who's_ being dramatic?" She responded flatly, crossing her arms and glaring in his direction.

I sighed, "It's fine we'll manage. She does know though, right?" I asked.

He remained quiet. This time we both stopped walking and started at him wide eyed. "You told Kari I'm going to be in your apartment, _right_?" I said, slightly panicked. I may have been uncomfortable with the situation but I didn't want her blindsided.

"She doesn't know," He was looking away from us and scratching the back of his neck. Sora and I were both about to start berating him but he put up his hands to stop us.

"You don't understand. I couldn't risk her leaving, something more happened with this break up then she's telling me, and I can't have her running back into a possible bad situation because of this. I know what she did, but she's still like family, I know you would have wanted the same thing. She's performing tonight we will go see her then."

Sora nodding in understanding but I was still stuck in the middle of what he said. "What do you mean, bad situation?" I felt myself tense up, it didn't matter what she did to me I would never want her to be hurt in any way.

"I'm not sure, I could be reading it wrong, but I don't think she would have come to me unless she needed a place she truly felt safe, it's just a gut feeling." He shrugged and started walking again. Sora and I shared a look before we followed him out, her eyes were apologetic. At least someone else thought it was as weird as I did.

The air felt good on my skin after being stuck on a plane for most of the day. I closed my eyes as the breeze crossed over us, but I stopped dead in my tracks again once my brain had finally registered what else Matt had said about Kari.

"Wait, what do you mean preforming?"

He looked back smirking at me. "You really stayed away from seeing what she was up to didn't you? You'll see if you _stop stopping_ in the middle of the airport"

"We're outside now." I quipped as I started moving again.

"Whatever."

Same old Matt.

* * *

The alarm blared in my ears for the fourth time that morning, I knew it was time to stop hitting snooze but getting out of bed hadn't been easy lately. I opened my eyes to the unforgiving glare of the midday sun and rolled over to stop my alarm for the final time.

I picked up my phone and noted the half empty glass of Jack and Coke sitting next to it. When I couldn't sleep, some vices made it easier. Trevor would have suggested a meeting and I would have rolled my eyes as far back into my head as possible, but as I contemplated taking a sip now I thought maybe he would have been right.

I rolled out of bed, grabbed a long sleeve shift from the floor, and pulled on a pair of leggings. I cracked open the door and peaked out to see if anyone was home, but the apartment was quiet. I headed into the kitchen to try and scrounge up some breakfast but there was already food made for me on the counter. _"We will be out for the day but will see you tonight, break a leg!"_ My face contorted into a rare smile, I didn't do that much anymore. He was so good to me, but I couldn't help but feel a bit more relaxed with everyone gone.

I had known Matt since I was a little kid, our brothers had met at camp and become best friends, or the worst friends, depending on the time of year, or day. They bickered like an old married couple but if something went down, for one, the other would be there in a second. I spent most of my time growing up with Matt's little brother T.K. We were inseparable as kids and dated at the end of our senior year, but then I ran away and ruined all of that.

I left after graduation, ran from my family, friends, and most of all him. It wasn't that I didn't love him, because I did, and more than I've ever loved anyone, but after what happened I knew I needed to leave.

Matt actually found me on campus one day shortly after classes had started. When I saw his face I felt sick, I wasn't ready to face anyone, least of all him. As much as he was like a brother to me I always found him to be slightly intimidating. He was my boyfriend's brother, and I wanted his approval as much as I wanted their mother's approval.

I headed over to him, fully aware that he would probably lose it on me, but he didn't say anything, he just kept leaning against the wall looking out at the other students as they walked to, and from, their classes. I stood there looking at my feet for a long time until he finally took a deep breathe and opened his mouth to speak, "Why?" was all he said.

When I looked up at him I saw only concern, "Why are you crying?"

I realized for the first time that I had tears streaming down my face. I wiped them away and muttered, sorry. Then I spilled, I let the words tumble out of my mouth as fast as I could. They were desperate for air, I hadn't told anyone, and it felt like they'd been scratching at my insides, demanding to be released. My mouth felt dry when I was done. My head hurt. I was probably dehydrated from crying.

We stood there after I finished, quiet again, except for the sound of me catching my breath.

"I'll keep your secret," he said to me evenly. There was no if, no stipulation, nothing I needed to do in return. Matt understood running away, even in this instance, and even from his own brother.

When my life was spiraling out of control Matt was the one person I knew would take me in with no questions asked. He didn't make me explain anything. He just showed me to my room and made me a hot meal. Sora wanted answers though, it was harder for her to stay on the outside of any situation. The mother in her wanted to heal, to fix, but she couldn't fix what had happened, no one could. All I could do now was try to start over again hopefully this time it wouldn't be a mistake.


	2. Chapter 2

Edited 9/26/18

* * *

 _"She's imperfect but she tries_

 _She is good but she lies_

 _She is hard on herself_

 _She is broken and won't ask for help_

 _She is messy but she's kind_

 _She is lonely most of the time_

 _She is all of this mixed up_

 _And baked in a beautiful pie_

 _She is gone but she used to be mine"_

* * *

I got in around 3pm so we spent the rest of the day wandering around the city, Matt, literally made me drag two suitcases around all day to avoid Kari at the apartment, he was ridiculous. For some reason he was convinced it would be better for us if we waited until tonight. Either way, we were blindsiding her. Either way, it was awkward for me.

Once we sat down for lunch I finally got some information out of him. She had studied theater, and music, at a school called HARTT, in Connecticut. I remembered the paper Tai held in his hand the day we realized she was gone, the name of the school photographed perfectly into my brain.

Apparently she had only been preforming at small clubs since she graduated. I was a little surprised that she choose to study musical theater, when we were in high school she had gotten involved in our productions and had been really good, but I didn't realize how serious she was about pursuing it.

I guess there was a lot I didn't know. I always wondered if that was part of why she left, had I been a bad listener, or had she just hidden everything really well. I thought we shared everything, but if that was true she wouldn't have gone.

Maybe, she was scared I would tell her to stay, but if she had a dream I never would have tried to stop her from accomplishing it, we had our whole lives, and I would have waited. At one point I had applied to a school in the U.S. and we said if it happened we would find a way to make it work, but I got more money to stay, so I did, and we never discussed it again.

The last photo I saw of her was from a red carpet event she attended with Michael about 8 months ago. In that photo she didn't look like the girl I remembered. Kari, was one of the most laid back girls I'd ever met. She wasn't a tomboy, but she wasn't overly girly, or fussy with what she wore, and she never needed, or wore, very much makeup.

The girl in the photo though was nothing short of glamorous. Her hair had been pulled back and she had dark green makeup around her eyes. She was wearing a short, form fitting white dress with long flowing sleeves, and green high heels. She was stunning but, in that photo, I couldn't picture her being anything like I remembered. Unreachable, was the word I would pick, like a movie star you could never dream of touching.

I was nervous to meet that girl. What if she was as different as she looked? Matt wouldn't really comment much about it, and I couldn't really ask if her personality had changed as much as her appearance.

She still had no idea I was here or that I would be coming tonight, and no one knew how she would react. Matt was just hoping she wouldn't run back here, grab her things, and disappear.

Again.

I shared the sentiment. Even though I was uneasy about seeing her I didn't want to send her running either. Matt, seemed to think Michael had burned her pretty bad in some way or another, enough that she hadn't called her parents, or Tai, to tell them she was staying with Matt. She had sworn him and Sora to secrecy. I'm surprised Sora hadn't said something yet, she wasn't good at keeping things from her friends, even if they weren't her things to share.

Matt finally let us go to the apartment to drop off my things, once he was sure Kari was gone. I changed into a pair of jeans, by order of Sora, who said my cargo shorts were unacceptable, and Matt gave me an unwrinkled black tee shirt to throw on. I felt a little sick when we left, I wasn't sure if it was from seeing her or the jetlag but either way it wasn't helping.

We made it to the club around 8:45pm and she was to go on at 9pm. The venue, was dimly lit, with soft jazz music playing in the background. A small blonde girl greeted us at the door and immediately showed us to our seats. She seemed to know Matt and Sora pretty well, I think her name was Jenny, I'm not really sure. I wasn't mentally there and I kept zoning in and out. I needed something to wake me up or I was going to fall asleep right at our table.

I looked around to get a feel for the place. The club had 12 half circle booths that lined the back of the room. Between them, and the stage, were about 15 circular high top tables. There was a long bar along the left. The bar and the table tops were made of a dark cherry wood, and the booth seats were a deep burgundy color. It had a good vibe, the decor was all very vintage like it was pulled out of the twenties or thirties.

"T.K.?" Matt was staring at me waiting for an answer.

"I'm sorry what?" I replied, obliviously.

"What should I grab you to drink?" He cocked his brow while eyeing me skeptically.

"Whatever you're getting is fine, thanks." I felt bad, I had been doing that to him all day. I just couldn't stay focused.

Sora went with Matt to the bar and they started chatting with the bartender. They must come to see her preform often, this seemed like a regular place for them. A few others near the bar greeted them and they fell into conversation while waiting for our drinks. I looked up at the stage and saw a tall, curvy girl, with dark curly hair, talking to a skinny, bookish looking guy, who was seated at the piano.

I was surveying the room, trying to find Kari, when Matt and Sora walked back over with our drinks. I hadn't been able to find her and it was starting to fill up. I couldn't search without starting to look pretty obvious. Looking like a creep probably wasn't a good move for me at this point.

They scooted into the other side of the booth and handed me my beverage. I grabbed it and took a large drink, without looking at it, and ended up choking. Matt almost spit out his drink from laughing so hard, as Sora sympathetically patted me on the back.

Once I regained my composure I looked down and noticed the dark amber liquid I had just attempted to consume.

"Is this _straight_ whiskey?" I asked weakly, still trying to recover from the fire burning down my throat.

"Welcome to New York." He said smiling while raising his glass.

Sora gave him a scolding look while offering me a sip of her drink. Whatever she was drinking looked much less intimidating but, also far too girly for me to drink. It was the color of a blue jolly rancher. I politely declined and shook my drink around before setting it back down. I was about to go over to the bar and grab a beer when the girl on stage headed over to the mic.

"Hey everyone! If you would take your seats we will get our show started." She gave a short introduction, of the show the music was from, and introduced the piano player before welcoming Kari onto the stage.

The crowd cheered, clapped for her, and there were a few whistles from the bar area. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a slight girl push her chair in at the bar, and finish up a drink, before making her way up to the stage. I was taken aback for a moment. Everything about her, was so similar, but so strikingly different at the same time.

Her hair was so much longer than I remembered, it was always pulled back in the photos I saw, so I never realized how much it had grown. It was past her shoulders and dyed a little darker brown. She was wearing it straight with her bangs clipped to the side.

She used to tell me, how much she hated the maintenance long hair needed and that was why she kept it short, so it was weird she had grown it out so long.

She looked so slim too. Not unhealthy really, but it was a noticeable difference, even from the last photo I saw. She was wearing a short, black, long sleeve dress that was tight until her hips where it flared out, and hit just above her knees. Her face looked clean of makeup except for her eyes which had dark, smokey, eyeshadow.

Don't get me wrong, she was still beautiful, but when I really saw her eyes, my stomach dropped. I looked into those dark brown eyes for 10 years. I knew something was off, the spark I remembered just wasn't there anymore. They seemed dull, and even though she was smiling, her eyes weren't.

She took a breath, closed her eyes, and when the music started she went somewhere else. I'd seen Matt like this before, all messed up about something right before a show, but the second the music started he became someone else. She was fierce now, powerful, and commanding. She sang with a confidence I didn't remember. In high school she was good, but shy, and timid, never really trying to stand out. Now, she didn't try to get attention, it was demanded, and you couldn't possibly have eyes on anyone else. The bar erupted in applause when she finished the first song, she smiled a sly smile that told me she knew she nailed it.

During the applause, after the second song, the bartender brought a drink to the stage for her. She drank a generous amount before the piano started playing again. It was exactly what I was holding in my hand, and she just drank it like it was water, so either she drank a lot, or I was one thousand percent lamer than I thought I was.

She set her drink down and nodded to the piano player to start the next song. This one was slower, her mask faded, and I saw those empty eyes again. She started softly, if there had been bar chatter you may have missed the first few lyrics. As the words spilled out of her mouth I felt the honesty she sang with, she felt this song in her bones.

 _The song was about an abusive relationship, I told myself she was playing a part up there, but her eyes told me she was telling her own story, her truth. Tears fell from her eyes as she belted out the words, the audience was feeling it with her, I saw girls around me getting choked up. Matt and Sora both stiffened up during the song, like they were seeing exactly what I was._

She could walk away from me, one hundred more times, and I would never in my life want her to feel an ounce of what she was expressing on that stage.

The crowd lost it when the song ended and people started to stand in the audience. Kari smiled, and wipe the side of her face.

"Thank you everyone, so much." The crowd hushed for her. "I was so excited to preform these songs for you tonight. This show, holds a special place in my heart and seeing it was one of the greatest experiences I've had in this city. I hope I've done it some justice for you tonight." She paused and some people cheered again.

"I have one more for you tonight, but for this one I'm going to need some help from one of my oldest friends. Some of you already know him, please welcome Matt Ishida!"

I was so focused on her that I didn't even noticed Matt was already making his way to the stage. He's such a ham I shouldn't have been surprised. Sora was smirking as she looked over at me and rolled her eyes, which lead me to the conclusion, that she was just as out of the loop as I was. The ladies in the crowd went wild for him, showing me that he had definitely developed a solid fan base here in the city.

When he reached Kari he enveloped her in a hug and I saw him whisper in her ear, her body stiffened for a moment before he let her go. She turned towards our table, squinted and made eye contact with me. She took a deep, and what appeared to be, shaky breath as the piano started to play. She didn't look angry just slightly uncomfortable, which was better than we had expected so I guess it was a victory.

Matt was looking at her when he started to sing but she was still looking directly at me.

She turned back to him, and after a moment, drifted back into the story. He looked out at Sora every little while but I could tell ladies in the audience thought those stares might be for them. Sora, seemed to take the attention the girls gave him pretty well. They had been together so long at this point she knew she had nothing to fear.

Kari, looked so comfortable with him on stage, and they had great chemistry. It sent a pang of jealously to my chest, but I buried it, they were practically siblings and their comfort on stage had to come from years of knowing each other.

From what I could see they also clearly had some practice singing together. I was actually surprised that they hadn't been doing more work together, but with the way I had taken to avoiding, anything, involving her they very well might have.

I thought about how I should have been angry with him for spending time with her. He was _my_ brother and here he was hanging out, and living with, my ex. girlfriend. That wasn't really fair though, considering he had known her just as long as me, and he tended to make the right decision about things like this.

As the song ended people in the crowd stood up, and cheered for them. After they thanked the crowd, they started to make their way back over to the bar. They walked down from the stage, Matt looked over and waved us in their direction.

Sora gave my arm a gentle squeeze. "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be," I put on the biggest fake smile I could muster in the moment. I probably looked terrified, or sick, probably both.

Sora walked ahead of me and gave Kari a big hug. She stiffened at first, but after a moment, she returned her hug with a smile.

"You were amazing tonight Kari that song, before Matt went up, was so, so, good." Sora beamed at her, like a mother would to a child.

"Thanks so much. It's my favorite from the show, I'm just glad I didn't butcher it tonight." An uneasy smile grew on her face, as she grabbed her drink off the bar, and finished it quickly. I looked down at my still untouched beverage, and grumbled to myself, about people in the States, and brown liquor.

When I looked up, I saw Kari had turned around and was looking right at me. Her eyes were apologetic and I could only assume I looked super awkward.

Matt and Sora were looking between the two of us, unsure if they should say anything. Neither of us seemed to be able to get up the nerve, but just as Kari looked like she was about talk, I closed the distance between us and pulled her into my arms.

I'm not sure why that was the first thing I decided to do in this situation, I like to think I blacked out and my body moved on it's own, but it was too late to turn back now.

She was completely caught off guard and I could feel her hesitation. I loosened my hold but didn't let go, resting my head on top of hers, thats when I felt her relax, put her arms around my waist and finally hug me back.

I pulled back and looked down at her, speaking softly, "Together again."

"Just like old times," she responded to me with a, less strained, smile.

It wasn't, not even a little, but for right now it was what we both needed and it was enough.


	3. Chapter 3

EDITED 9/26/18

Trigger warning for abuse.

Disclaimer: I don't own Digemon I also don't own 'Basket Case' by Sara Bareilles. I promise this is the last we will hear from her for a while. This was one chapter I actually did not have a song for but this came on the other day and it fit perfectly.

Don't forget to check out my playlist for this fic on Spotify "Playlist FF"

* * *

 _"I don't want to talk about it to you_

 _I'm not an open book that you can rifle through_

 _The cold hard truth that you'll see right to_

 _I'm just basket case without you_

 _He's not a magic man or a perfect fit_

 _But had a steady hand and I got used to it_

 _And a glass cage heart and invited me in_

 _And now I'm just a basket case without him"_

* * *

You know that feeling when you get punched in the gut? Where all the air is removed from your body, and you're left gasping for breath, and then there's that dull ache that remains after. That's what seeing T.K. was like. I _knew_ he hated me. He must have after what I had done to him. Maybe, he was here to finally have it out with me. I couldn't believe Matt blindsided me like this, he knew everything, was he trying to have an all out meltdown situation in his apartment?

I needed to relax and be realistic, this was his brother, he didn't owe me anything.

If he did confront me, it's not like I wouldn't deserve whatever awful words he would choose to sling at me. After everything over the last few months, with Michael, I wasn't sure I could handle it right now.

If I was being honest, my life hadn't been the same without T.K., and if I hadn't been so stubborn, and scared, my life might be very different right now. It didn't feel fair that he was here now, while I was hanging on by a thread, and when I felt so lost.

 _No._ I couldn't think of any of that now, Michael coming into my mind made me feel sick, I rubbed my arms a bit, as Matt and I walked from the stage towards the bar.

I wondered if T.K. was mad at him, I hoped not. Matt cared for his brother so much. If he was angry with him, I promised myself that I would make it right between them. Then I wondered if he had told him about what happened, and why I left, but the thought quickly vacated my mind. Matt always kept his word.

Sora stole me away from my thoughts for a moment with a showering of compliments. She was always so wonderful. I had longed for a big sister when I was growing up, and for a while, I was really disappointed she hadn't chosen my bother to spend her life with. Seeing her, and Matt, grow together over the years made me understand why they ended up together. They complimented each other well, she had this way of pulling him outside of himself, and he had kept her grounded, and focused. They were like, my home away from home, and I cared immensely for the both of them.

I hoped T.K. wouldn't ask me to leave.

I downed the rest of my drink, anticipating the need for some extra courage, before I turned to face T.K. who was staring into his glass.

He was as handsome as ever but I didn't get that long to study him before he looked up and right into my eyes. The brightness they used to have was gone, was that my fault? Maybe, I gave myself too much credit. He was probably just tired.

He hadn't yelled at me yet, which seemed like a victory, but neither of us were saying anything and I could feel the tension in the room getting thicker. I took a deep breath, ready to try and articulate something, when he took a few steps to close the space between us and hugged me.

I felt his arms graze mine before wrapping further around my back. I wondered if this was what shock felt like. I didn't dare to move, or breathe. I had expected anger, hatred maybe, but here he was holding me in his arms. He loosened his grip and rested his head on mine and that was when I found the ability to move again. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his shoulder.

After a few moments he pulled back and said, "Together again." He had a soft smile on his face. "Just like old times," I replied.

It wasn't, It could never be, but if this was our way of starting over, then I would take it in a heartbeat.

I was getting too ahead of myself. He just didn't want to create a scene in public. Plus, Matt was leaving in a week, and I assumed T.K. would be leaving to go home at that point.

Everyone fell back into their conversations, but I was only half listening. The alcohol was starting to have it's, normally desired effect, but I didn't know how long I could last like that if I was trying to keep secrets. I needed to get out of the bar.

"Hey guys, I'm sorry to be a bummer, but I'm going to head back. I'm totally wiped out." I started to back away to leave but Matt stopped me.

"Kari, why don't you have T.K. walk you back? He said, he didn't want to stay out too late, and the guys are planning to meet us out. Plus, we both know the area isn't great around here." Matt looked between the two of us as he spoke.

I can't imagine what my face looked like, I was trying not to glare at him, but I'm not sure it was working. He was half being brotherly, and half pushing us into each other. Didn't he think it was soon for that kind of behavior?

"Are you sure? I wouldn't want to make you miss your first _real_ night out in the city on my account." I looked at T.K. waiting for his response. I was half being honest and I was half full of shit.

He held up his drink, I was confused.

He saw this and started to chuckle, "I'm a lightweight, I've had this since we got here, so I'm good to go. I'm also jet lagged I haven't slept since we landed, so I need some sleep."

Looks like T.K. would be taking me home.

We said our goodbyes and made our way out of the bar. It was a muggy night in the city, so the air was thick, and heavy. Normally I would prefer a breezier night in May, but I welcomed it. It had been a long winter that year and I was happy to embrace the seventy degree night.

It was quiet, not uncomfortable, it was just, a little awkward. I took the silence as an opportunity to take in his appearance. He seemed to have grown taller, if that was possible. I could tell he was wearing Matt's shirt because it was a little short for him, Sora must have dressed him before they left. His face was clean of any facial hair, the brothers never could grow any. Speaking of hair, my eyes settled on his. Takeru Takaishi was rocking a man bun, and it honestly looked good on him. I almost chuckled, but he finally noticed I was staring at him, so I sucked it back in.

"What?" He looked at me with a genuinely curious expression on his face. I pointed to the top of my head, and he started laughing. One of those great, full belly, laughs I used to love to hear growing up. I smirked, picking up speed and walking ahead of him. He pulled himself together and caught back up to me.

"Ya know, Matt isn't the only person in this family that's allowed to have good hair, and I think he's jealous he didn't think to grow his out first," he said with a very determined look on his face.

I laughed back, because he was probably right.

"Well, oddly it suits you, so job well done." He smiled, and thanked me.

"What about you Kari? I always thought you hated long hair, not that it doesn't look good," He tried to backtrack, "I just remember you not really wanting the trouble." I looked over at him as he rambled.

He was right, I fucking hated it, but I didn't think now was the time to have this conversation.

"I just got lazy," I couldn't believe _that's_ what I decided to come up with as an excuse. It was lame. He knew it. I mean, if I was being lazy I would have shaved my head, not grown my hair to the point that it took an hour to dry. He just kind of nodded as we fell back into a, mostly, comfortable silence.

Matt's place was a decent size, two bedroom, in one of the nicer parts of the East Village. About two years ago, a friend of his was moving out and he was able to get into the type of place people, our age, only dreamed of. His apartment before was a closet compared to this place. The kitchen was smaller than he would have liked, given his love of cooking, but besides that it was a good space.

The door opened into a spacious living and dining room with a wall, coming about halfway out, to block off the kitchen. The apartment had hardwood floors that had been partially covered with ornate, oriental rugs, with red and gold stitching. A tan sectional covered the back corner wall, a large dark brown coffee table sat, in-between the sectional, and matching love seat. There was a hallway that led to a bathroom across from my bedroom, and further down the hall, was Matt and Sora's room.

Once in the apartment we had fallen into easy conversation, about school, and our friends, carefully avoiding anything too deep. He was helping me tidy up the kitchen. It was the one place in the apartment I always insisted on cleaning, since Matt, literally, always cooked for me. I felt like it was a fair trade off. The guys were out so often that I had a lot of free time in the apartment alone, I had gotten pretty comfortable here over the past few weeks.

I walked over to the sink to do the dishes, I was laughing at a story T.K. was telling, about one of our old high school friends experimenting with noodle recipes, and I unconsciously rolled up my sleeves. T.K. was walking over to help me dry when I heard him gasp.

I immediately realized my mistake.

I looked up into T.K.'s horrified eyes, as he was staring at the dark bruises covering my arms. I couldn't say anything, I backed away, and ran into my bedroom, apparently running from him was all I knew how to do. I closed my door and fell to the floor.

My secret was out.

* * *

I just stood there like an idiot as she ran from me. When I heard her door close I was snapped out of my brief paralysis. I had no idea what to do or say, but everything made sense now. Her suddenly moving in with Matt, someone who would ask close to zero questions, but would take care of her like family. The song. The dullness in her eyes. The way she seemed to stiffen with the slightest touch from anyone.

Had I hurt her when I hugged her? What do I do now?

I cautiously made my way over to her door. "Kari?" Silence, was the only reply I received.

"Kari, please?"

I leaned against the door hoping for a response but another two minutes of silence went by.

"Kar, _Please_ just talk to me. I can't ignore this, and you know that, you _have_ to know that. What if it was me that was in trouble? Would you just walk away and go to bed like it was nothing?"

More silence followed. What could I say? I wanted to call someone, Sora maybe? That didn't feel right though. I didn't want to go behind her back.

"Hika, please?" It came out without thinking, softer then my other requests. I was tired, and I didn't know what to do, and my old nick name for her just stumbled out.

I saw the door knob start to turn, and I stepped back. The door opened slightly, and when she didn't walk out I took that as my invitation to go in. She was sitting on the floor in front of her bed, she had changed into a pair of shorts, and a long sleeve shirt. I sat down next to her and leaned my head back against her bed.

"Does anyone else know," I asked. My voice was shaky as I spoke. I needed to try and relax, I didn't want to make this any harder for her.

"I haven't heard anyone call me that in four years," she said quietly. It made me smile for a moment, that she had never shared that with anyone else, it was still ours.

I needed to focus though, "How long?"

She took a deep breathe but didn't say anything right away. It was about a minute before she finally responded.

"About a year."

I felt my heart quicken and my hands balled into fists. She must have noticed my hands, because I felt her tense up next to me, and I immediately tried to relax my body. I didn't need to scare her by getting upset.

"Did you press charges?" I asked, as calmly as I could.

She shook her head 'no' again. "I," she stopped talking and looked down.

I couldn't imagine how hard this was, especially if I was the first person she had told. I didn't know how bad it had been either. I only saw part of her arm, he clearly had grabbed her, but was it worse than that? Did he hit her? I needed to know.

"How bad?"

* * *

I didn't know what to say to him. He was being so gentle about everything, and I was thankful for that. I knew if I had told my family, especially Tai, that it would have been loud, and dramatic. Him, and my father, would have been calling for Michael's head. I wasn't ready for that. I couldn't handle being yelled at again, even if it wasn't directed at me.

T.K. was waiting for a response but the words wouldn't come. I didn't know how to say it out loud. I realized though, in that moment, I wanted him to know. I had been holding onto this for so long, and even after everything, I still knew I could probably trust T.K. more than anyone.

Even after hurting him four years ago, here he was, sitting with me, and trying to comfort me. In that moment I felt more awful for ever walking out of his life, but I tried not to let those thoughts take over. I opened my mouth to talk again, but I still couldn't find the words for what I needed to tell him.

He looked at me with his big, clear, blue eyes, pleading me to confess what I had been hiding for so long. I stood up and he reached out to me, his confused eyes staring into mine, asking me not to go again.

In that moment, with no words, I did the only thing I could think of. I couldn't say it, so I would show him. I started to pull my shirt up over my head, I had a sports bra on underneath, living with Matt and a rotating door of male band members meant I always had some sort of bra on. Even if I didn't, it wasn't like he hadn't seen me before, we were intimate in every sense of the word at one point.

When I let go of my shirt, and let it fall to the ground, I let my eyes follow the garment as I stared at the floor. I couldn't look at him knowing what he was looking at. Everything felt fuzzy, and I thought I might pass out, standing there in front of him. I saw him move out of the corner of my eyes and I felt his fingers gently graze my side where I knew the worst of it was. My broken ribs were starting to heal but the dark, garish, bruise stood out against my skin like a beacon.

I felt the warmth of his hands leave my body, before I saw him move to stand, I felt him gently grab my chin to make me look at him. Those eyes I had known so well, eyes I had loved to see shine with laughter while we were growing up, were filled with unshed tears.

"Kar." I felt him wipe away my own tears with his thumb as his own started to silently fall.

He pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me, careful not to hurt me, and gently sat us back on the floor. I felt myself fall apart curled in his lap.

He didn't ask me anymore questions. He saw everything he needed to know in that moment. He saw my torso and arms covered in bruises of various size, and color. He saw where I had been hit, and grabbed, over, and over again, for the past several months.

What he didn't see, were the words that had been hurled at me, things I wouldn't dare to ever repeat. He didn't know I had been franticly packing, what little things I still had, before I ran away one night while Michael was gone. He didn't know, that I thought if I stayed he might kill me, that I didn't know if my body could handle one more attack. That I laid awake at night in bed next to him, afraid of what he might do if I closed my eyes. That he made me think I was crazy, that I had done it to myself, that I somehow deserved it.

These were all the things I wished I could say, the same things I'd wished I could have said at the hospital, where I lied, and begged the staff to believe the stories I made up. I wanted him to know it all, but I just couldn't form the words I needed, and he was too kind to push me.

After a few minutes my tears had subsided and I cleared my throat. There was one thing I could manage to say, "I'm not ready to tell anyone else yet, please understand."

I felt him nod. "Tell me the rest when you feel you can, and promise me you will tell your family eventually. I'll be there if you want me to be. Whatever you need."

I looked up at him when he finished talking and he tried to muster a smile, but it was strained.

"Thank you," I quietly responded. "You should probably get some sleep, the guys will be here in the morning, and you'll be happy you didn't stay up all night."

He nodded and helped me off of his lap. I grabbed my discarded shirt from the floor and pulled it over my head.

He yawned as he stood up, I finally saw how tired he looked, I almost forgot that he had been on a plane from Japan just hours ago. I still had trouble accepting that he was even here, let alone in this room with me now.

"T.K?" I needed to ask.

He looked at me with those tired eyes.

"Why didn't you yell at me when you saw me? Why did you walk me back? Why are you comforting me? Why don't you scream at me, walk away, ignore me?" When I finished talking, I had gotten so quiet, I wasn't sure if he had even heard me at the end.

He smiled softly before replying. "None of that matters right now, you have more important things to worry about, and I could never hate you. I obviously have," he paused, his mouth turning into a firm line, "A lot of feelings about what happened, but all of it can wait."

He walked over, and gave me one last quick hug. "Goodnight Kari," He whispered into my hair before releasing me, and heading to the door.

When the door closed, I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding in. I climbed into my bed and plugged my phone into my charger.

2:45 a.m. Matt would be home soon.

I rolled over and tried to think about the week ahead. I drifted off before I could create any real coherent thoughts but, for the first time in months, I slept through the night.


	4. Chapter 4

EDITED 9/26/18

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon or the song "Photograph" – by Ed Sheeran (and not Nickelback because I would never do that to you) but the version that will be on the playlist is a cover by Boyce Avenue and Bea Miller.

Follow the music on Spotify – Playlist FF

* * *

 _"I swear it will get easier,_

 _Remember that with every piece of you_

 _and it's the only thing we take with us when we die"_

* * *

I woke up in my most favorite way possible, to the sweet, sticky, smell of pancakes and the lovely sound of a sizzling griddle. I heard a plate being set down on the table in front of me. Since Kari was in the spare bedroom I was camped out on the couch in the living room.

My joy was paused, at the thought of Kari, and everything that happened last night. I hadn't slept much. I couldn't stop thinking, about her marred body, and what that bastard did to her.

I wanted to kill him.

I spent half the night, shaking with anger, thinking about what I could do to him if I found him. I had never wanted to do real harm to another man, but after seeing her, I was just so angry.

At the same time, I knew I couldn't just go after him. I felt terribly helpless. The damage was already done, and I couldn't stop, or take away, the pain she had been through. All I could do now was try to help her get through it.

I promised her I wouldn't go to anyone but I didn't feel great about it. Wouldn't she need her family? Shouldn't she go to the police? Didn't she deserve justice? What would justice even look like in this case?

I knew he had money and available lawyers. It would be hard to fight someone with his reputation and resources. I wondered how many other girls he had hurt, and how many more he would hurt after this. I knew I couldn't push her, she needed time, and I wasn't going to take that from her. I would be there for her, but if I felt like things were out of control I would get some help, I would have to.

I rolled over and opened my eyes to see a glorious stack of chocolate chip pancakes, slathered in maple syrup, with bacon on the side. I missed my brothers cooking, I never really had his talent for it.

My eyes moved up a little further and I saw Kari curled up on the love seat across from me. She was wearing the same thing from last night, but managed to look extremely well kept for someone who, I assume, just woke up. Her face was clean of makeup and her hair was combed neatly out of her face.

"Morning," she said, as she smiled sweetly at me. She started to eat her breakfast and I turned my attention to my own food.

"Kid, you're finally up!" Matt yelled from over in the kitchen.

As I sat up fully, I saw him cooking, and Sora looking half dead, at the counter that separated the kitchen from the living room. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight of her. She was staring down, miserably, into what I assumed was a cup of coffee.

Unlike Kari, Sora's face was smeared with last nights makeup, and what I could only assume, was deep regret.

"Rough night Sora?" I chuckled.

Matt turned and smirked at me, while Sora glared for a moment before softening her features.

"I've never been cut out for this lifestyle!" She exclaimed, before her head came down to the counter.

We all started laughing, none of us could help it, but it was Kari that surprised me. She was almost doubled over. It was good to see her like that.

"Now you see why I always leave early," Kari said, still giggling.

She looked over to me, and pointed to my food with her fork. "You might want to start eating that before someone else does."

I looked at her curiously before scanning the room for these, would be, scavengers. She looked down at her phone, held her hand up, and started to count down from five before pointing to the door. I checked my own phone and saw it was just about noon. Not, three seconds later, I heard people making their way up to the apartment before barreling through the door. They were in an animated conversation about the show tonight.

I grabbed my food and started to stuff my face, thinking of our friend Davis, and how he would have just started eating right off one of our plates. I couldn't take that chance! Kari giggled at me, before placing her empty plate down on the table.

"Sora! You are looking _just_ lovely this morning," One of the guys said with a strong pat on her back. He was tall, taller than me, so a few inches over six feet at least and very muscular. He had light blue eyes and a shaved head. He had a big grin across his face as he addressed Sora. I knew they were all together last night so he was absolutely teasing her.

"Thanks John," she replied, flatly.

"You guys are the worst _don't_ you see we have company," Matt said, with feigned annoyance, as he gestured over to me.

"Hey! It's the little bro in the flesh!" Shouted the guy, who I now knew was John.

I put down my half eaten plate and made my way over to them. I held out my hand to each one of them. "I'm T.K., nice to finally meet you guys."

"Name's John," he said, giving me a big toothy grin, as he shook my hand. He was their drummer. Matt had told me enough about him to know he was the most excitable one of the group. Even if he hadn't, I could tell from the last 30 seconds of listening to him.

"Colin, nice to finally meet you," said, the next guy.

Colin was a little shorter than me but with a similar build. He had cropped brown hair, similar to my brothers, and light brown eyes. He played piano. He seemed nice, quieter than John, but Matt had told me he was a really great guy. Him, and Colin, had known each other longest.

I turned to the last guy,"Trevor," was all he said.

He let go the quickest, and when he smiled at me it seemed forced. He was about my height with curly brown hair, and deep set, dark, brown eyes. He was pretty skinny for his height. After everything Matt had told me about him, I wasn't surprised.

"It's the little miss!" John exclaimed, taking me from my thoughts. He picked Kari up bridal style, spinning her around before putting her back down.

"And how are you today Johnathan?" Kari flinched, responding the way a school teacher might respond to a kid in class.

"Well the sun is out, the sky is blue, and I get to spend my day with you fine people, so I couldn't be better," he said with a beaming smile.

"So, like every other day?" She rolled her eyes playfully towards him.

Trevor walked over and ruffled her hair, like something her brother, Tai, would have done, before taking a seat next to her on the love seat.

"How's it going?" His voice was quiet.

"Ok," she replied with a smile. "How was your meeting?"

He pulled a coin out of his back pocket and handed it to her.

"Yea! Trevor hit 90 days today!" John yelled with a fist pump. Matt, and Colin, sighed and shook their heads at him. Tact was clearly not John's strong suit.

I didn't realize he was already that far along. Matt said he just recently gotten out of rehab. Last we talked he wasn't even sure if he would be touring with them or not. He didn't tell me too much about his addiction, just that he had a pretty bad problem, and they practically dragged him there kicking and screaming. He eventually agreed when they told him, it was drugs, or the band. He was their bass player.

The rest of the guys, really only drank, but Trevor had already been into harder drugs when he joined the band.

"I'm proud of you," Kari said, while handing his coin back to him. I felt my jealously rising a bit, but pushed it down. I was going to have to stop that this week, it wasn't fair for me to get upset every time a guy gave her attention. I had no claim here anymore, and she had known these guys for months at this point.

Excited for tonight Kar? John said, as he sank onto the couch next to me.

She squinted, annoyed, "I don't know why you guys are pushing this."

"You cover up Matt's voice and make us sound good." Colin shrugged.

I had just started eating again as he said this, I started laughing so hard, I ended up choking on my food. John gave me a pat on the back to help, I think. Matt didn't say anything. I guess at this point he knew it was better not to feed into it. Once I regained my composure I looked over to Kari.

"You're preforming with them?" I asked curiously.

Before she could respond all the guys shouted, "Yes!"

She looked around and sighed in mock defeat. "If I must." She turned to Matt. "Did you pick a song?"

"For us yes," He replied walking over to us. "But you need to pick one for yourself, I told you, you aren't just some backup singer. You get some spotlight too, ya know."

"I'll think on it," she said, as she started to clear everyones plates.

"But it's," Matt started but she cut him off.

"I know, it's tonight. I'll have one. Lets just work on ours and I'll have one thought up by the time we finish." He nodded, but looked a little annoyed. I knew he was a planner and last minute was not his favorite.

I made my way over to Sora at the counter, as everyone started to get out their equipment and get settled. She was looking exponentially better after coffee, and some food. She smiled at me and clutched my shoulder as I sat down.

"How was last night?" She asked as quietly as she could. I looked over at the guys, and Kari, but they were paying us no attention as they got set up.

"It was ok. We just talked a bit," I avoided her eye contact as I spoke. I was an awful liar.

She jumped right in, "She's jumpy and, weirdly, uncomfortable in public. Did she mention anything to you?"

Her words were laced with concern, it killed me, but I didn't know how to respond. I don't think I had ever lied to Sora before. I stared down at the table too long.

"You feel like you can't tell me?" She questioned.

I looked back up at her. "There might be more but I can't exactly clarify, it's her story to tell. She needs someone to trust right now, and I … I can't betray that."

She looked at me and nodded, her mouth was in a firm line, I could tell she didn't like my answer but she understood.

Sora always understood.

"As long as she has someone, then it's a start, but if you feel like you need help, please come to me?"

I almost wanted to tell her. I was saved as Matt started playing his guitar and Sora looked over at him, smiling brightly.

I recognized the song, it was an acoustic ballad by an British singer, I forget his name, but they had arranged it a little differently.

The band, had been going through a bit of a transition. They had only been playing covers for the past year or so. They had spent that time writing new songs, deciding their olds ones were no good, they scrapped everything, and stuck to the covers until they had an entire new setlist.

It actually worked out pretty well for them, Matt, and Colin, were great at rearranging and creating mashups. It had given them such a good following that they had decided to keep a short set in the middle of their show that would still be covers.

As Kari joined him in the song I was reminded of the talent I witnessed last night, and saw why they gave Matt such a hard time, because she did make him better. She added more emotion, and depth, he had to adapt to that, they were good for each other.

He stole little glances at Sora every once in a while when he was singing. It was sweet, that they were still so into each other after all this time.

With one last glance at her I decided to make my exit, and headed out to the balcony for a little while. I could still hear but the song was more muffled now.

I felt bad, that I didn't get a chance to check on Kari this morning, I wanted to see how she was after last night. She seemed fine, but there was no way, after all that, that she was. She had been hiding everything for so long, now she was probably a pro at putting on a good show for everyone.

I leaned onto the railing and looked out into the city. It should have made me feel like home, being in a big city, but it was so different from Tokyo, and I felt out of place here. It only seemed to emphasize how much had changed over the past few years. It shouldn't have been so jarring, but it was a little weird to be here with Matt, Sora, Kari, and a new crowd of people. We grew up in an extremely tight knit group of friends, maybe looking back we should have branched out more but we had our reasons. As everyone grew up and started to move away I still kind of stuck to those who stayed, not really exposing myself to too many new friends. Looking back, I do regret it, I probably missed out on a lot in college with my unnecessary brooding.

I was drawn out of my thoughts when I heard the door slide open. Trevor walked out and grabbed a pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket. He walked around me so he was down wind and covered the cigarette, blocking it from the breeze as he lit it, and took a long drag. I was grateful he had moved so it wasn't blowing in my face. I hated the smell of cigarettes. It always took me back to the worst days of my parents marriage, that was when our Dad went from a casual smoker, to a chain smoker.

Suddenly I realized Trevor had been staring at me, he must have said something, because he looked like he was waiting for a response.

"I'm sorry, I was spaced, what was that?" I asked him, as nicely as I could.

"It's cool, I asked about you and Kari? Matt said the two of you use to date?" He looked at me expectantly, while he leaned back against the railing, blowing smoke into the air.

My guard was instantly up. The way he said it was so, nonchalant, but it still made my stomach drop, maybe he did have feelings for her after all.

"Oh, um, well … Ya see," I stopped, clearing my throat.

"We met when we were six-years-old, and didn't actually date until three months before we graduated high school. I mean, she was my best friend for about eleven years so..." I drifted off, I didn't even know where I was going, but I knew my face was probably beat red. I looked over at him, and was annoyed to see he was smirking at me.

"Relax dude, I wanted to make sure you weren't just here trying to take advantage of the situation she's in right now, she's vulnerable, she." He stopped seemingly unsure if he should continue. He looked at me, and sighed. "We know there is more going on than a simple break up, but she's so hush about it. She's like a kid sister to us and we just want to make sure she's safe."

I let out a breath, I didn't realize, I had been holding in. He saw her like a sister. I instantly felt better about him.

"I would never intentionally hurt her and you can count on that," I replied to him.

He smiled, more genuine this time, before taking a long drag. "I like that you said 'intentionally,' I can't trust a person who says they will _never_ hurt someone, that's crazy," I nodded in agreement.

"We are trying to get her to come on tour with us," I perked up as he said this. Matt, had not mentioned this to me. He continued, "Matt was worried you wouldn't come if he told you."

I signed, I didn't like that he thought I would run for the hills if he let me in on anything about her.

"She's way to talented to sit here and rot all summer in that dinky club," he said.

I couldn't disagree with him there. "When were you planning on asking her?"

"Probably tomorrow, we know she is going to be a hit tonight, so we want to use that as ammo," he put out his cigarette on the railing, and tossed it over the side. "And," he started to say before I interrupted him.

"And, you want me to help you if that doesn't work," I didn't ask it as a question, I could tell where he was going.

"Precisely. You're the trump card."

"I think you overestimate my pull here," I said "If Matt has told you the story, you'll remember she kind of walked out on me without an explanation," I leaned back over the railing feeling a little defeated.

He didn't say anything for a minute and I glanced over at him. He looked like he was still processing what I just said, Matt must have left that part out.

"I can just tell," He said confidently. The song had just ended and there was some rustling in the apartment. The door slid opened and we looked back at Matt standing in the doorway. "Care for practice Trev?" Matt said, exasperated.

Trevor glanced at me as he headed back in. "T.K., I hope to God, you aren't half as dramatic as your brother here, or I don't think the tour will be able to handle it."

I snickered. I judged him too fast, maybe he wouldn't be so bad.

I turned back to the railing and got lost in my thoughts once again. I made a promise, to stop judging situations so quickly. The whole point of coming here was to get out of my comfort zone and get material so I could start writing, if I prejudged everyone, and every situation, I would never have anything to work with, and I would be miserable and stressed.

I was probably going to be spending a lot more time with Kari, and that should be a good thing, not something to worry about. I wanted to, if nothing else, mend the friendship that had been severed, I hoped she would to.


	5. Chapter 5

Edited 9/26/18

Chapter 5

Trigger warning: Abuse

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon or the song "Miracle" by Paramore.

Follow the Playlist on Spotify: Playlist:FF

* * *

 _"I don't want to run from_

 _Anything uncomfortable_

 _I just want, no_

 _I just need this pain to end right here"_

* * *

The bar they were playing at that night wasn't the greatest place.

The floors were sticky underneath my feet from drinks spilt long ago, and the walls were covered with old band posters from over the years. The bar was in the front, to the left of the entrance, and the stage lined the back of the room.

Apparently, it was the bar where they played their first show in the city years ago, and they wanted it to be where they played their last. Well, their last before tour. It wasn't that big of a space so tickets were limited and they ended up selling out. People were starting to crowd into the bar when Trevor came to get, Sora, and I. We headed into the back to be with Matt and the others before the show. There was a hallway next to the stage, we passed an alcove with two bathrooms before rounding a corner into their makeshift, "VIP," space. It was a small room, with two couches facing each other, and a coffee table in the middle.

Matt was on a stool in the corner tuning his guitar while everyone else relaxed on the couches. I took a seat next to Kari, who was fidgeting with the hem of her shorts. Sora had taken Kari shopping earlier for an outfit. She had her in high waisted, faded, denim, cut off shorts that went a little above her mid-thigh, A tight, black, long sleeve, V-neck, and combat boots.

"You trying to make those shorter?" I was trying to joke around but she jolted a little when I addressed her. "You ok?" I asked.

"Sorry, just a little nervous," she, sheepishly, replied.

"You got nothin to worry about Kar," John said grasping her shoulders from behind, "Everyone is gonna love you!"

She smiled, but still seemed uneasy. I was about to speak up again but there was a knock on the door.

"You guys ready?!" A big, meat head, type shouted as he opened the door. He gave everyone a big smile. "It's probably our biggest crowd of the year so get ready to put on a good one for them," He finished before heading back out.

Kari, Sora, and I made our way back out to the bar, Kari would be hanging with us until she went up later in the set. As we headed to grab some drinks, we had to push our way through the crowd that had crammed into the small space. Everyone in the bar started to cheer, and we turned to see them making their way onto the stage. People cleared out of the bar area to get a better view and we were finally able to grab drinks.

I handed Sora a twenty, "Can you get me a beer, whatever, and whatever you girls want."

"Sure, thanks T.K.," She replied, before waving to grab the bartenders attention.

I turned to watch the guys play, but I stopped when I saw Kari, nervously, scanning the bar. I leaned down so she could hear me over the band, "Are you sure you are ok? You seem on edge," I said.

She stopped scanning and looked up at me, "I just have a weird feeling about tonight," she said honestly.

Sora walked back over with the drinks before I could pry any further. Kari took her short glass of, once again, straight, freaking, whiskey, and took a large drink. We made our way a bit closer to the stage, and Kari edged directly in front of me, while Sora stayed to my side. Everyone erupted into cheers as the song ended. I was happy for Matt, he told me earlier that he was a little nervous about debuting their new music, but the crowd was loving it.

It was going to be a good night.

* * *

I tried not to look around to much during the show, and I felt better with T.K. standing behind me, his presence was comforting. My chest felt tight since this morning, and I was trying to calm my nerves before I would be going in front of this crowd.

Sora had just come back with a second round of drinks, and I was starting to get that warm feeling that would relax me, just enough, to get through the show. Another song ended and I knew my time was about to come. Matt raised his hands to calm the crowd and nodded in my direction. I started to walk away but T.K. grabbed my hand. I turned around, he gave it a gentle squeeze and mouthed, "Good luck." Sora yelled, "Break a leg," I gave my best smile to them both before I turned to take the stage.

"Alright everyone I would like you all to give it up for our guest tonight, and one of my oldest friends, Kari Kamiya! She's gonna help us out with the cover set tonight," Matt gestured to me as I made my way onto the stage. Everyone in the crowd applauded and I heard a few people yell my name. I invited some of my friends from the cabaret, and could pick out their cheers.

"Thank you all so much, I'm excited to be here with, Astral Shade, tonight! Is everyone enjoying the show so far?" Everyone cheered again, this kind of crowd was new for me, I hoped I was going to be ok. I wasn't use to the rowdiness of a show like this, but I have to say, it was giving me a rush I hadn't experienced in a long time.

Matt re-approached the mic, "Alright, for this one we are going to strip things down a bit," he said as he switched his electric guitar to his acoustic.

* * *

The next few songs were seamless, this was the first time I was able to hear the band as a whole, with Kari included. The crowd seemed to be loving her as well, there was chatter around me of people trying to figure out where she came from, a few people recognized her as, "That hot actor's ex girlfriend." I found that to be so annoying, like she was nothing more then his accessory. She had a name. I tried to shake off my annoyance.

"It's going well!" Sora shouted at me. I turned, giving her two thumbs up, not wanting to shout.

Another round a cheers started as they finished another song. I got knocked a bit by someone behind me and saw a flash of blond hair hurry by me. Apparently, not everyone knew manners here, he didn't even say excuse me. I shook my head in annoyance before turning back to the show.

"Hey everybody, we are going to have Kari take the lead on this one," Matt said stepping back a bit from the mic.

* * *

Sweat was dripping down my face, I was slightly out of breath from the last song, and desperate for water, but I was having the time of my life.

Performing in the theater was a completely different experience, the crowd was polite and subdued, only applauding when a song had ended and only for a few seconds so the show could continue. Here, there were constant shouts and cheers... which... I mean, I knew would happen. I've been to shows before, but being on stage for it was exhilarating! I was so happy I decided to do this tonight, and now I was preforming a song I'd always wanted to do in front of a crowd.

Michael had, essentially, blacklisted me in the city. When I left, he told me I would never find work doing what I loved, all of his family's connections would keep me out. That's why I was on stage now, I knew I needed visibility and, while minimal, at least this was something.

" _You think I'm going to let you have this? Maybe if you behave..._ " He said, before one of our worst nights. I had talked about an audition I was planning to go on. At first, I was obviously devastated, my spirit, and hope, was just as broken as my body. Music was all I had and it was what kept me going the past few months. I was lucky I went to school with the manager of the club I performed at. Michael had tried to stop me from working there, but the manager told him politely, "fuck off."

I was grateful. That place was all I had until this point and I knew I would never get anywhere doing shows there once a week.

When Matt asked me to sing with them tonight, I was skeptical, had he figured it out? Every time he asked me why I wasn't auditioning, I dodged it, but I was never a great liar. Did he know how desperate I was? I wasn't a rock star, I sang show tunes for the most part. I worried it was a pity offer, and I couldn't stand the thought of gaining anything like that. I wanted to be able to stand on my own two feet.

Without knowing it, the guys filmed us one day. Matt asked me to work on an arrangement with him for a song they were working on. We sounded good together, our voices blended really well, and I was comfortable with him after being friends for so long. After that was when I asked Matt to join me for my show at the club, but he said, I had to repay him and sing tonight.

So here I was, loving every second of what I knew was fleeting. They were leaving at the end of the week and I would be back to solo acts at a club no one knew about.

I looked over at Sora, and T.K., it had been so good to have him with us the past few days, even though nothing about it had been normal, he was like this grounding force in my life I didn't realized I had been craving.

It was still so awkward, we had yet to talk about me leaving, and I felt really guilty, but he had been so kind to me even after everything I had put him through.

I glanced back to T.K., he smiled at me, and cheered me on. I smiled back, but was startled when I saw a familiar head of blonde hair bump into him, and take a spot behind him in the crowd. Our eyes met and he smirked at me.

I forgot how beautiful he was, it's probably what made him so dangerous. Who knew such a lovely thing could hold such a wicked soul. His eyes were the, darkest, blue I had ever seen, like the deepest part of the ocean. He had golden, curly, hair that he kept just below his ears. His features were angular, but not sharp, like Matts.

Looking at T.K. standing in front of him was like looking at night, and day. T.K with his soft features and sky blue eyes was like a sunrise, while Michael was dusk.

He had this awful, cocky, smile on his face and it terrified me. He wouldn't have come here without a plan, and the fact that he came here tonight, with me surrounded by the guys, showed me just how much control he believed he had over this situation. The way he specifically found T.K. worried me too. I didn't want Michael to start a fight with him, or anyone here.

I knew if I could get to T.K. quickly, or get his attention, and pull him away that we might be able to get out of here before anything happened. I knew he wouldn't ask any questions and we could possibly be a quarter of the way to the apartment before anyone else even realized we were gone.

What the hell was I getting him into, how could I ask him to help me with any of this. Michael was who I fell into after T.K.

There was no rebound, no one night stands, there was just Michael. He didn't start out bad, he was a little aggressive, and forward, but I was drawn to that, I wanted what T.K. wasn't. If I had found someone who was gentle, and kind, I would have just been reminded of what I left behind.

Deep down I think I knew he would show up. He just couldn't let me have this moment. I had trouble believing he was so unafraid of consequences but I guess, when you let someone abuse you for months, you give up the chance to be surprised by things they will do to you.

As the song ended, I turned from the crowd and tried to collect myself. I just had to get through two more songs and I would be free. I finished my drink and, accidentally, made eye contact with John, he mouthed, "whats wrong," I must have looked terrified. I shook my head and tried to force a smile as Matt introduced the next song.

I tried to looked anywhere but where T.K., Sora, and Michael were during the next two songs. I was going through the motions and prayed I wasn't totally botching these last two numbers. As we ended the final song, and the crowd erupted into cheers, my stomach tied into knots. We thanked the crowd and made our way off.

As soon as I could get off the stage I bolted to the back, to grab my bag, and shoved past the guys as they made there way into the back room. They called after me to see what the rush was, but I just wanted to get out of there. The less involved they were the better.

As I made my way down the hallway I started to slow down a bit as I neared the crowd. I was passing the alcove where the bathrooms were, when I felt someone grab my hair and pull back, I was shoved into a wall and everything went white for a moment before I opened my eyes and saw Michaels, dark, blue, eyes staring back into mine.

"You left without saying goodbye, and while I know it's a habit, it's really fucking impolite." His voice was low, and he looked at me expectantly, but all I could do, at first, was stare at him. I was horrified, I hoped I would never have to see him up close again.

"It's o-over let-t me go back to my friends," I stammered at first, but started to find some strength.

A few girls giggled as they wandered into the bathroom, staring at us thinking we were lovers, looking for a corner. I was too scared to ask for help.

I was trying to be logical about this, the guys would be walking by soon and he would have to let me go.

"Your friends?! We both know you are just some group whore for them, and wouldn't you rather have me." His hand started to slide up between my legs.

"No!" I screamed, and pushed as hard as I could against him, it shocked him for a moment, and I used the opportunity to try to runaway form him.

I felt him grab my arm, and twist. I yelped, and screamed, as loud as I could for help. I stopped being worried about creating a scene. Except, 'help,' wasn't the word that came out, it was T.K.

"T.K.," he, spat, back at me, as he held me against the wall. "That's why you left? So you could go back to that loser." He leaned into me and I felt his breath against my neck. "I don't thi-," He was cut off, and suddenly I was freed.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing!" I turned, hearing Trevor's voice and saw him, and T.K. looking more angry, than I had ever seen either of them.

"So you went back to him AND got with the junkie? Where have your standards gone Kar?" He tisked, and moved towards me again, but T.K. stepped between us.

"Don't even think about it. It's time for you to go," T.K, spoke low, and forceful, almost spitting out each word.

"Kari, and I, have things to discuss," Michael said, haughtily.

"You _must_ be out of your goddamn mind!" Matt shouted, as he walked up with John. "Get the fuck out of here!"

Michael smiled wickedly, and put his hands up. "No need to throw a fuss Matt, we're old friends remember, no harm done here."

He started to walk away but then quickly turned and shoved T.K out of the way. He grabbed my arm and tried to pull me, towards the emergency exit, near the end of the hall. Trevor reacted quickly, and grabbed both his shoulders pulling him off of me, he managed to rip my sleeve off in the process, and I fell against the wall. Trevor turned him around, slammed him into the wall, and punched him in the jaw.

"What's going on back here!" Trevor stopped mid-swing, he was going in for a second hit as two bouncers walked up. I saw Sora peak her face around the two, tall, men. A crowd was starting to form, I saw the girls who had been in the bathroom, they must have snuck out at some point, they looked at me with pity. I turned my face down.

"Everyone down the hall, and out back, now!" One of the bouncers shouted while the other one grabbed Trevor off of Michael. They walked the two past us, and towards the door, T.K. came next to me inspecting for any harm done. He put his arm around me and started to move us outside.

Matt, John, and Sora were behind us. When we got outside I took a deep breath, I didn't realize how stifling the air in the hallway had become. Looking up, I saw the bouncer taking everything in before his eyes landed on me and widened.

"Was what happened to his face, because of her?" I looked down at myself, and saw my sleeve hanging from my arm, bruises in full view for everyone to see.

"He had her cornered, we were trying to get him off of her," T.K., started to explain, before Michael cut him off. "No way they came at me."

The bouncer glared, daggers, at Michael. "Dude, you are lucky we don't let them finish what this guy started," he said, gesturing to Trevor. "Leave."

"I'm not going anywhere I'm pressing charges against this piece of shit," Michael said, as he started to pull out his phone.

"Then I will too," Everyone looked at me. I wasn't going to let Trevor go down for me.

Michael started to laugh, "For what? Nothing happened Kari."

"Look at me!" I screamed. My voice didn't sound like my own, I was finally more angry than I was frightened. He actually looked started by it. "What you did is all over me, it's everywhere! I'm covered in what you've done."

"It's your word against mine," he replied back, but didn't seem convinced.

"I think everyone standing here is a witness," Matt said, matter of fact.

The bouncers nodded. "Whatever she says we saw, we saw."

Michael nursed his jaw in his hand and looked around in disgust. "This isn't over," he said, darkly, as he walked away from us.

Once he turned the corner I started to feel dizzy, like any ounce of energy I had was stuck in the moments that just passed. I felt gentle arms around my waist catch me before I fell to the ground. As we slide to the ground, against a wall, I half heard everyone around me. Someone brought up an ambulance, or the police, and I shook my head no. It went quiet for a moment before I felt a glass placed in my hands. I put it to my mouth wishing it was dark, instead of clear, and full of water. Again someone started mentioning a doctor but I, pleadingly, looked around, "Can we just go home?"

Quiet again, and the beginning of a protest from Sora before Matt put his hand up to stop her. He fussed around on his phone for a minute before putting it back in his pocket. He turned to the rest of the guys and asked them to gather everything up and meet us back at his place. He stepped aside with the bouncers and I tried to make out what they were saying, but gave up after a moment. After a few minutes they went back inside and he checked his phone again. He came around to one side of me and with T.K. on the other they lifted me to my feet, and we made our way to the street, and got into a cab.

I closed my eyes, and hoped for silence, and it's exactly what I received. When I opened my eyes I realized the only other person in the car was T.K. He saw me look over at him and he reached for my hand, giving me a light squeeze. He went to pull away but I held him tighter, he stoped pulling and just held onto my hand the rest of the way back to Matt's. We didn't speak, there was nothing to be said. Everyone knew the ugly truth now, and I relished the silence, because I knew it would end the second we walked through his brothers door.


	6. Chapter 6

Edited 9/26/18

Chapter 6

As always I don't own Digimon. I also don't own the song Safe and Sound, that would be Taylor Swift and The Civil Wars.

* * *

 _"Just close your eyes_

 _The sun is going down_

 _You'll be alright_

 _No one can hurt you now_

 _Come morning light_

 _You and I'll be safe and sound"_

* * *

Kari had, gently, shrugged out of my arms and immediately gone into her room after we got back. I slumped into the chair in the living room, I felt immediately drained. It seemed so unbelievable to come after her in public like that, even after I saw everything I believed it was over, and she was safe with us. I wanted to ask her to come with us, go home, or just get out of New York. When we got home though I couldn't make the words come out, and she left so fast, I knew it probably wasn't the right time.

Time wasn't something we had though.

Everyone, finally made it back, about a half hour later with some of the equipment that had been left behind. John, and Colin, perched themselves on the stools by the counter. Matt, and Sora, took the sofa opposite me, and Trevor paced the room staring at her door.

I put my head in my hands, and sighed. I wasn't sure, if I should try to get her out here to talk, or give her the space I knew she wanted right now. Years ago, I would have known exactly what to do in a situation like this. I would be in there right now with her, talking it through, or just holding her. Now, I didn't know what she needed from me, and everything I would have normally done felt like it would be an intrusion of her space. I didn't know my new place yet in her life and this situation was just making it, that much, more confusing.

Trevor's frantic voice, echoed through the apartment, "Did anyone know?" He stopped pacing and stared directly at me. Everyone shook their heads, and murmured, "no." But he kept his eyes glued on me.

I wasn't going to lie now. "I only found out the other night. She-" He bolted across the room and grabbed my shirt lifting me slightly. It surprised me, more than scared me, considering how much bigger I was than him. He got right into my face,"You didn't think we needed to know? Who do you think you are!" I didn't try to fight him.

Matt was up in an instant to pull him off. "Cool it. Now!" Matt yelled, as Trevor stared at him with a dangerous look in his eyes.

John started getting up to break the two of them apart but it was Kari's, soft, voice that separated them.

"Everyone stop...Please," She was standing in the hallway in a pair of sweatpants, and one of Matt's, old, band T-Shirts. Her bruises stood out, against her pale skin, and the crisp white color of the T-Shirt. She couldn't hide anymore. At least not from us. Looking at her body pained me so much, but as I made my way up to her eyes I saw a look of determination I wasn't expecting.

"Leave T.K. alone. I know you just met him but I've known him since I was six years old. He knows me. He knows what breaking my trust would have done. I never would have forgiven him. It was … an accident that he even found out. I wasn't ready to tell anyone..." She got quiet and drifted off.

She looked exhausted. I wanted so badly to reach out to her, and comfort her, but I stopped when Trevor stepped closer to her. He reached out, but she flinched away from him, he immediately took a step back and brought his hand down.

"We could have helped you," Trevor said desperately.

"How? By, doing to him, what he did to me?" Trevor flinched at what her words meant. "He has money, and access to lawyers, that we can't even imagine. Why do you think I never pressed charges. I could have a building full of witnesses and I could _still_ lose!" Her voice was starting to get shaky.

"I'm sorry we didn't see it," Trevor leaned against the wall and stared down at the floor.

"What now?" Colin spoke up from across the room.

"What do you mean?" Kari asked, confused. "I left. It's over"

"You should come with us," Matt stated more then asked her, but she was shaking her head no before he even finished.

"He has a point Kar, You shouldn't be here alone, and while this isn't exactly important right now, you give the band something we have been missing. It's better with you. We could use that," John said, genuinely.

"Yea, plus, Matt sucks. We need you to cover him up," Colin said, with a smirk.

"Really?" Matt, rolled his eyes. He let out a dramatic sigh before looking at Kari, "But, really, Kari you make us better, you make _me_ better. We were already going to ask you, that's why we had you with us on stage tonight."

"I'm not going to come and be a burden to everyone," She said, quietly, looking down.

"Did you even just hear me?" Matt was getting frustrated. Sora stood and made her way over to him. She took his hand, and he leaned into her a bit, relaxing some.

"We already wanted you there," Matt said, a bit calmer.

"He isn't lying. We literally talked about it last night, look at me, you know I can't lie for shit," John said.

"My whole life is here," Kari responded pathetically. "How can I just pack up and leave?"

"Kari? What do you even mean? What is here? Your whole family is in Japan. We are leaving. You are just doing random shows at the club. You have every reason to leave." Everything Matt said, was right, but the way he said it was not helping. I could tell we were losing her. She was on the verge of tears again. I mean, he made it sound like she, really, had nothing going for her.

"What if I stay?" Sora jumped in, sensing the way the conversation was headed.

"No! Sora, Matt has been looking forward to having you on this tour," Kari was firm on this.

"Kar, just come with us." Trevor cut everyone off, frustrated.

"I don't. I just," She shook her head, "I need to get some sleep. I need to think." She backed up quickly, as she said this, and made a beeline for her door.

"Kari," Matt, and Trevor, both called to her but she shut the door, and shut all of us out.

I followed her lead and got out of that room, and out to the balcony. The air was cool. I took a deep breathe. I felt like I was on fire. My adrenaline was running high, my heart was still beating fast, and it felt like my whole body was buzzing. I grabbed onto the railing, and counted to ten in my head, while breathing deep. The railing felt cold in my hands but, soon, warmed from them.

Opening my eyes, I looked out into the city, glowing with life and promise. I thought I would come here, have an awkward week in Matt's apartment with limited, to zero, contact with Kari, and leave. Now I was trying to come up with ways to get her to come with us so, she wouldn't be left alone here, with someone who was clearly unhinged.

A slew of emotions flooded my body. Anger? Fear? Sadness? Helpless, _yes_ , that was the one. We couldn't leave her. Michael came after her, in a public place, while she was with friends. If he was willing to do that then there is no way he wouldn't come for her here.

I had to try to talk to her, alone. No one thought that conversation through, they didn't have time, and it was a disaster. She couldn't stay here, and it had nothing to do with me not thinking she could take care of herself. This was beyond that and he had proven it tonight. I was scared for her after seeing him, what he did so easily, and the look in his eyes as he did. If she didn't feel like she could go to the police, and get any sort of protection in a formal way, then she shouldn't stay.

I turned and made my way back into the apartment, more determined now. I slid the glass door open and saw it was just Matt, and Sora, left in the room. Matt had his head in his hands and Sora, was rubbing small circles on his back, trying to calm him. She looked at me, and tried to muster a smile, as she motioned me to take the seat across from them. Looking at the two of them stole what little thunder I had mustered up. It was rare for me to see Matt in such a state. I fell into the chair and stared at the ceiling.

"I can't leave her here," Matt broke the silence. He sounded so tired. "That was a disaster. We _totally_ ambushed her."

I signed, "I obviously feel the same way about her coming, but we can't force her, she has to want it. We just have to convince her somehow."

"What about her family? Are we really _not_ going to call Tai?" Sora, always the voice of reason brought up the one thing we all seemed to be avoiding.

I felt so guilty about not telling him. The two of us were like family. He came to me as soon as he figured out she was gone. We went to the airport together, to try and catch her, but we were too late. He had been so angry with her for leaving everyone behind the way she did. I always wondered who's heart she broke more that day, mine, or his. Even so, I had promised her I wouldn't tell them, she wanted it to come from her, when she was ready, and who I was to take that away from her.

"I feel like if we do anything behind her back, we lose her forever. She won't trust us again." She already walked away form me once. I couldn't risk it happening again.

"I don't think she will be safe here, so if we want to protect her we might not have a choice," Matt said. "Either she comes or we call Tai. She might hate us but at least she would be safe. He would protect her."

"Matt, by doing what? Going after Michael? You know Tai, he would absolutely lose it, and that does her no good." Now, I was getting frustrated, I was not going to be apart of giving her an ultimatum.

"I might have an idea," Sora perked up a bit as she said this. "T.K. needs new clothes for tour," she almost sounded bored.

I cut her off. "What's wrong with my clothes," I said, looking at myself defensively. "And shouldn't we be focusing on Kari right now?"

She was so calm, "You still wear cargo shorts." I stared at her blankly. "And, is that T-Shirt from summer camp, like what, 9 years ago?" _This shirt was actually from 10 years ago,_ I thought to myself.

I am too busy to take you, so maybe, Kari can," She said the last part slowly to get her point across.

"So I'm some sort of distraction and you will be doing what here?" I asked a little weary. With the way Matt was just talking there would be a full fledged intervention here with her family.

"I'll handle that," Matt said, sounding determined.

We discussed our plan a little longer before they headed to bed. There would be no family. It had to do with the band. We all agreed that if she saw this as an opportunity, and not just as a way to get her further from him, then she would be more into the idea of coming. I honestly didn't know if it would work, but we had very few options at this point.

Later, as I laid awake on the couch, I couldn't get the image of her in that alley out of my mind. I closed my eyes and tried to fill my mind with happier memories, it was a long battle to get any sleep that night.

* * *

I didn't get much sleep after I left them in the living room. Deep down, I knew everyone was right, and in all honesty, I did actually want to go with them. It's not like I didn't think I was good enough I just didn't want anyone to feel like they had to babysit me. I couldn't stand the pity. I brought so much drama in just one night and I didn't want this huge weight over their tour.

There was a sudden knock at my door. I looked at my phone, 9:03 a.m., I should probably answer. I couldn't just lay in bed all day but I also didn't _need_ to get up just yet.

"Come in." I sat up, and pushed my hair down a little.

T.K, opened the door, while balancing two plates in his other hand. "Hungry?"

I moved over and patted the side of my bed. He sat down and handed me a plate with waffles. Each square was perfectly filled with syrup, without flowing out onto the plate, exactly how I did it as a kid. He always did have a good memory.

I smiled in spite of everything else that was happening. When I left Japan I did everything I could to push him from my mind, I forgot how at ease I felt around him, even now, with everything weighing on us, the room just felt lighter with him in it.

We ate in a comfortable silence while I waited for him to talk, I knew this would be about more than breakfast, he wasn't very smooth. He looked nervous, I could tell he was trying to think of a way to start, as he moved his food around without actually eating it.

I put my fork down on my plate and looked at him. "Did you want to ask me something."

He chuckled a bit, and scratched the back of his head. "You always could see right through me."

I smiled, and nodded waiting for him to continue.

"So, Sora said I need new clothes." He paused his face scrunched up looking annoyed, I couldn't help but laugh at him. He glared at me but, quickly, cracked a smile. "But, she is busy and I was wondering, since I don't really know where anything is in the city, if you might come with me." He looked down when he was finished, twisting his napkin in his hand. There was more he wasn't saying. I figured he would spend the day trying to convince me to come on tour. I didn't want to spend a whole day like that but I also thought a day out of this apartment would probably do me some good.

"If we don't talk about me leaving, yes." I said firmly. I expected him to argue.

He perked up. "Great!"

I was confused. He started happily eating his food but stopped suddenly. "Hey! Wait, what is wrong with my clothes? You think something is wrong too!" I tried to hold in my laughter, but failed. He crossed his arms in mock offense.

Through my giggling I said, "Well besides the cargo shorts-"

He cut me off, "What is wrong with cargo shorts?!"

"Everything." I said seriously.

"Ok fair enough," He put his hands up as a sign of mock surrender. "I clearly know nothing of such things. I'll go get ready. You can fix me." He grabbed his plate and shoveled the last bit of food in his mouth before he made his way out of my room.

I don't know how, but I think I was just tricked.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon, the songs 'Youth' by Troye Sivan or 'I Took A Pill' by Mike Posner. OR the mashup of the two used in this chapter by Landon Austin and Taylor Leigh.

Spotify: Playlist FF

* * *

 _"I'm just a singer who already blew his shot_  
 _I get along with old timers_  
 _'Cause my name's a reminder of a pop song people forgot_  
 _And I can't keep a girl, no_  
 _'Cause as soon as the sun comes up_  
 _I cut 'em all loose and work's my excuse_  
 _But the truth is I can't open up"_

After a quick shower I was ready to go but I was still waiting for Kari to finish getting ready. Matt and Sora had made themselves scarce, as per the plan. I was nervously scanning through my phone trying to distract myself from all the ways that today could go wrong. Kari and I avoided talking about us, for the most part, and I wasn't sure what would come from that conversation if it were to come up today. It would be the longest we had been alone together since I had arrived.

Part of me wanted so badly to know, and the other part just wanted us to start over. We couldn't go back in time, and rewrite history, so why dwell on it. Was my piece of mind worth it? I hated all this second guessing, it wasn't like me, I needed to calm down and stop worrying so much.

"I'm ready," she shouted from her room. I stood up and gathered my wallet from the counter and pocketed my phone. She was in front of me when I looked up, wearing high-waisted jean shorts and a dark blue, flowing, long sleeve blouse. I frowned thinking about how uncomfortable she must be in long sleeves, it was pretty warm out today. I wiped the look off my face before she could notice.

"So whats's the budget?" She asked as we stepped out into the hallway, she locked the door and we made our way to the elevator.

"Matt gave me his card and said, 'Go nuts,'" I chuckled as Kari got this devious look on her face. "Perfect, we're heading to Soho." I nodded at her, not really sure what that meant, but she seemed rather pleased.

We headed into the elevator, she leaned against the wall blowing some of her hair away from her face, "Is there anything else you want to see while we're out? I know you only have a few more days here." I thought about her question as I continued to watch her try to fix and smooth her hair into place, I smiled.

"Anything?" She gave me a curious look after I had clearly been staring too long. I refocused on the question at hand. I had only been to the city twice before, once with Kari as kids, which was short lived, and once when Matt first moved and we did all the stereotypical tourist stuff. "Not really but if there is anything you think I should see, I'm down." I smiled warmly at her, she nodded thinking intensely about it. She seemed to come to a conclusion in her head before responding, "I'll let it be a surprise." The elevator opened and we made our way out into the busy city streets.

"Alright, when we get to Astor, we need to grab the Six down to Spring," I nodded trying to take in my surroundings while keeping a lookout for Astor Street. When we made it, we took the stairs down to the subway, It was so humid that it was almost suffocating, and I ended up losing Kari for a moment as people pushed through to get out. Tokyo's system was so much more orderly, and clean, but this was total chaos. I paused for a second, seeing a woman with a small child begging for money, but I felt Kari grab my arm and pull me along.

We only had to wait for a minute before the train showed up, and as people exited in a hurry and shoved past us it was mayhem once again. Kari grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd to get on the train. It was just as crammed when we made it inside and there were no seats available. Kari walked over to a corner and leaned up against a metal bar, releasing my hand, I grabbed one above us as the train jerked forward.

She was giggling a me and I narrowed my eyes a bit. "What, may I ask is so funny," I said in a mock offense. "Not like Japan, huh?" She replied. I snorted at her trying to hold in my laughter. "Yea, definitely not."

When we finally got to our stop and came back up onto the street I was grateful for the fresh air, even though you probably can't call any city's air fresh, it was still an improvement. She lead me down a slew of busy streets littered with artists on the sidewalks, selling their work. It was less congested than midtown but still crowded and busy. As she led me into the first store I gulped, it looked expensive, and all the mannequins looked like Matt.

She patted me on the back sensing my nervousness, "I'll make it painless," she said with a toothy grin. She had me sit on a large black ottoman in the middle of the store, while she searched through the racks. I took my hair down and untangled it a bit, I didn't let it dry before I put it up and it was giving me a headache. I used my hands to make it a bit more manageable before throwing it back up on top of my head. I saw one of the workers giving me a weird look. I looked down at my feet. Here I was with my messy hair, apparently awful cargo shorts, old tee shirt, and dirty sneakers. I sighed, I wasn't meant for this place.

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and started scrolling through social media. All my friends back home were posting about their graduation and new jobs. I had a few messages asking about how it was going in America and a lingering message from my closest friend back home, Davis, that I had been ignoring for over a week. I heard someone coming towards me and looked up to see Kari was heading over with her arms full. I quickly clicked off the page and pocketed my phone. I stood up and laughed awkwardly, "Huh, all this? Really?" Saying she went overboard is an understatement.

She hoofed it all into my arms, "No, silly, the rest is already in the fitting room." She smiled brightly as she pushed me in the direction of the rooms. There was a tall blonde girl, about our age, waiting by the rooms with a key. "Hey there sweetie, the room back here is all set for you!" She showed me back to the room and Kari took a seat right outside. "My name is Jenny if you need anything!" She said politely before heading back out into the store, leaving me and Kari alone.

In addition to the six pairs of jeans I had in my arms, in the room there were a few simple V-neck T-shirts, and a few plaid button-down shirts. "Really? Plaid, am I a lumber-" "Just try them!" She cut me off before I could finish. I grumbled to myself, I hated trying things on and rarely ever did, this is why everything I had on was 10 years old.

Kari use to take me with her all the time and I never minded when we were kids, but I guess when she left I never really had anyone to go with or anyone to put in any effort for. I shook myself out of my thoughts. I didn't need to go there right now. I picked up one of the jeans and read the back, "What is slim fit?" I asked honestly. "Oh. My. Goodness. Put on the pants before I come in and change you myself." I felt my face heat up and I started to undress and shimmy my way into the jeans. They weren't as tight as I imagined, "slim fit" would be, and they were actually really soft, and comfortable.

Damnit, Everyone was going to be right.

I threw on a black V-neck shirt, also amazingly comfortable, everything I owned currently was kind of scratchy compared to this fabric. I grabbed one of the plaid shirts, it was a blend of light blues and grays, she always tried to get me into blue. She used to told me the color brought out my eyes.

I checked myself out and couldn't decide how I felt about it. Everything was clearly of good quality, and I thought I looked ok, but it was so different from what I normally wore that I wasn't sure about it.

"Ok, don't laugh," I said seriously as I opened the door. I spread my arms out wide and did a little spin. The corners of her mouth tuned up a bit, "Why would I laugh," she replied sincerely. "It all fits really well, you look handsome," Her face reddened a bit as she said this. I turned and looked at myself again, at least she still thought I was cute, I thought with a smirk.

"Ok, I guess this is an improvement." I sighed and she chuckled at me. "Try on the rest." She pointed at the door shooing me back in.

After about a half hour, and a large bill, we finally left the store. "Ok, lets take a break before the next store." She said looking at the time on her watch.

"Wait, I have to do that again?!" I gave her my best pout but she just rolled her eyes at me. "Let't get back to Spring, we need to take the E train downtown," I nodded and followed her back toward the subway.

When we got off this time she said we were in the 'financial district.' I looked up at the looming building up ahead of us and noticed the crowd getting larger as we got closer. I shielded my eyes and looked up, "It's the new World Trade Center," she said. "Is that where we are going?" I asked seeing people walking towards us with books in their hands. She pulled me away from them "No, but it's close. Ignore those guys, they aren't suppose to be selling that stuff here, they're the worst." I nodded and made sure not to engage any of them as we made our way past the site.

She led me across the street and we were suddenly in front of a large brick wall probably over 10 feet high. "Trinity Church," read a small plaque next to a large entrance. We walked up the steps and I realized we were walking into a cemetery, but it was like walking into a different century. I looked at the stones as we walked by and noticed dates from the 1800's, some were so old that almost everything was worn away on the stones. She stopped at a bench and took a seat, she closed her eyes and smiled facing her face up towards the sun. I sat next to her and rested my tired feet.

"So a cemetery?" I asked after a minute slightly amused. I was expecting some big attraction, so to say I was surprised would be an understatement.

"I love it here," she said softly "It still stands after more than 100 years in one of the most modern cities in the world. Like, look over there," she pointed out into the city. "It's right there, all around us, but here it's like time stopped and nothing has touched this place. It's beautiful, and quiet, and I just..." She drifted off looking sheepish. I grabbed her hand and squeezed, before I realized what I had done, but she didn't pull away. It was something I use to do when I knew she felt silly from rambling, just a sign that I didn't think she was being weird, it happened so naturally. I gently let go and grabbed the side of the bench in my hands. "I get it, it's like a pause in all the craziness." She nodded and gently smiled. We sat for a few minutes in a comfortable silence before she nudged me, "Ready to grab some food and hit another store?" I thought for a moment, "Yes! And Meh." I shrugged. "You'll live through one more store," she stated dryly. As we were leaving we passed a large group surrounding one of the stones, apparently this was an attraction after all.

We headed back in the direction we came, hopped back on the subway to uptown and got off near Soho again. I followed her into the next store and was immediately overwhelmed. The last one was very organized but this was almost as nutty as the subway. She saw the look of horror on my face and told me she would be right back. She was gathering items for me again but this store didn't have seating like the last one. I looked through the most random selection of journals and books. 'On the Road' was next to a book about your cat wanting to kill you, and Americans think Japan is weird.

I wandered over to an area with clothes but ended up in the women's section. I saw a dress on the end of one of the racks, picked it up, and smiled. It reminded me of Kari, I looked at the tag, 'Lace Trapeze Slip' it was light pink with dark brown dots. I heard her calling me from a few racks away. "I don't think Sora meant for you to be in dresses," she said chuckling.

"Har Har," I replied sarcastically. "It's for you to try, I've been a dress up doll all day, it's your turn." She fiddled with the material and seemed to be ok with it. "Ok, here are yours," she said, and we exchanged what we had been holding.

I changed quickly into the light grey shorts she had handed me, they were a little tighter than my old ones and only had normal pockets, but I guess they were ok. I came out of the room and knocked on the door across the way where she was changing. "Hey I need you to tell me if these are acceptable."

She cracked the door and stuck her head out, "Looks good," she said before trying to close the door on me. I stopped her, "Hey, don't I get to see my attempt at dressing you." She took a shaky breath and opened the door. "I look ridiculous," she said awkwardly as she stared at the ground.

She didn't look ridiculous, she looked lovely, it was so much softer than anything I had seen her in since I had been here. She rubbed her arms a bit, looking at her bruises. "Kar, ignore them for now, look at the rest of you, it looks great. When was the last time you had anything on lighter than navy blue." She took another look and relaxed a bit but played with the hem of the dress. "I try to stay away from anything too sheer," she said quietly. "Kar, those are going to fade." I said with as much empathy as I could. "It looks cute on you, you should get it." A blush started to appear on her face. She smiled a bit, "Even if I wanted to it's a bit over my budget at the moment. You should finish trying your stuff on." She closed the door on me before I could say anything else. I went back in and finished up feeling a little guilty. I didn't mean to make her feel bad.

When I came back out she was gone and the dress had been discarded on the counter by the fitting rooms. I grabbed it and hid it under the items I was taking. I left the fitting room area and saw her over near the shoes. "What size shoe are you?" She asked as I got closer to her. "Ten." She nodded grabbing two boxes and placing them on top of my pile. "Alright I think we are good," she said excitably bouncing over to the counter.

Once I got there I patted my pocket and looked over at her, "Shit, I think I left my phone in the fitting room. Would you mind checking while I cash out?" She nodded, "Of course!" She hurried back to the fitting rooms. She believed me so easily I almost felt bad. I turned to the cashier, "Can you ring this one out first on a separate transaction," I slipped the dress out from under everything else and handed it to the cashier. "I'll be quick," She said with a wink, easily catching on.

By the time Kari came back she had already cashed me out for her dress and was halfway through my things. "I couldn't find it," she said looking slightly panicked. "No, it's ok we found it buried in the clothes, I was just about to come look for you."

She sighed relieved, "I was worried someone stole it. I'm so glad it was there." She looked genuinely relieved. Now I really did feel bad, she was so concerned over a phone, at least I lied for a good cause.

As we left the store I checked the time, almost five. Hopefully this had given Matt enough time. I stole a look over at Kari as we walked, she had a peaceful smile on her face, and looked pretty relaxed, I hoped we weren't about to ruin that.

They were all set up when we got back, Matt looked up, and nodded to greet us, while he casually tuned a guitar on the couch. Sora jumped off the counter and came over to inspect the content of my bags. "Good job Kari, I'm impressed."

"Hey, I was there too!" I scoffed at her but she just stuck out her tongue at me. "Yea but I know how that goes," She rolled her eyes and gave Matt a knowing look. He shook his head at her but quickly turned to Kari as she was making her way to her bedroom, "Kari can you help me show the guys the mashup we have been working on?"

She looked at him skeptically, "Why?"

He gave her his trademark 'I'm so annoyed. Isn't this obvious,' look before responding. "Because I need someone else to learn your part if you aren't going to come." He finished in a very, matter of fact manner. She looked sad for a moment, "Oh, yea sure. Let me just grab some water."

She headed into the kitchen and we all stared around the room awkwardly. Trevor, looking more bored than usual, was sitting on the love seat across from Matt. John was next to him, literally sweating, clearly not a good at hiding anything. Matt moved to tune another guitar making sure not to look up at anyone, especially Sora, as she paced the room. Colin seemed the most relaxed out of everyone, seated at the counter on his computer, so I decided to set myself up next to him. Kari passed us to go back into the living room, she put her glass down on the table and picked up the recently discarded guitar and started strumming out some cords.

Colin immediately opened the internet up to the live stream he had set up. He had a small camera connected to the top of his computer facing the couch. The plan was to record them and to get some reaction from their fans about the possibility of her heading out on tour with them.

"You ready Kar?" Matt looked at her as he finished tuning his guitar. She nodded at him and Colin started the live feed titled, "Who wants to see Kari Kamiya on Tour!" Casual, I thought sarcastically.

As they started playing it was like everyone in the room held their breath. We knew this was probably our last chance to get her to come. If it didn't work they were going to delete the post and pretend it never happened. I noticed the screen start to light up, little hearts, thumbs up, and smiley faces started floating across the screen. That was a good start but it was just Matt so far and it wasn't him that needed the extra ego boost.

It wasn't ten seconds after she started singing that she was getting a response from people. More hearts were floating across the screen and comments were starting to come in.

"Who is she?! Keep her!"

"The girl from the show the other night!"

"OMG YAS!"

"Can't wait to see you guys in LA"

"Matt is mine get away form him..."

Me and Colin shared a glance. I was never sure how Sora handled the crazy fan girls so well. Mostly positive comments trailed in, along with a crazy one every few minutes.

I stopped staring at the screen and looked at Kari, I felt myself relax when I saw the serene look on her face. She always looked so calm when she was singing, seeing her like this made me want it to work even more. The idea of her sitting here when she should be on stage was so disheartening.

I glanced back at the screen and noticed we had over a thousand viewers and the number was growing, 200 or so reactions and over 130 comments, overwhelmingly in favor of her coming.

When they finished Colin ended the live feed. Matt looked over at us, "How'd we do over there Colin?" He turned his computer and said, "Why doesn't everyone come take a look."

Kari looked at us, confused at first, but that look drifted into annoyance, "What did you do?"

No one responded to her they just got up and headed over to us, except John who continued to sweat in his chair and look generally uncomfortable.

When everyone had surrounded the computer Colin pressed play, we watched the video while seeing the reactions and comments come in again. I laughed whenever Sora would sigh knowing it was one of the loonie fangirls.

"See Kari, you are talented and we need you on this tour, it's not pity ploy," Matt said after we watched for a minute.

She shifted uncomfortably, "I, I don't know. Now I feel like I don't even have a choice, what will all these people think if I don't go." She turned away from the screen and Colin paused it. Trevor looked like he was about to go off but he was interrupted.

"Kar," John spoke up for the first time. The way he said her name was almost desperate. "How can you ask us to leave you here. First, and most important, you are amazing and deserve a real shot which is obviously not going to happen in New York right now." He paused, standing up and turning towards us. "Second, we WANT you on this tour, we need something, special, and different, and it's you. This was not some split second decision this has been on the table for weeks." He walked over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Lastly, we love you like family, if this happened to someone you cared about could you really just leave them alone and go across the country. You don't have just one brother half way across the world in Japan, you have four more right here, and a sister, and … whatever T.K. is to you," I felt my face heat up, as he laughed, and gently letting her go.

"He's right Kari, how could I look at myself every morning if I just left you here." Matt said firmly getting nods from both Colin and Trevor in agreement.

She reached out to Colin for his computer, he handed it to her and she took it over to the couch, sat down and clicked around on the keyboard for a minute before the song started to play again. She placed the laptop down in front of her on the table and placed her chin in her hands.

"We need to work out the cords in the second verse it's not where it should be for a live set," she kept her eyes on the screen as she spoke. "But other then that I think we should be good to use this on tour. What do ya think?"

Everyone was silent for a moment before what she was saying really sunk in. "It's happening?" John said cautiously not wanting to jump to conclusions. "It's happening," She replied still staring at the screen with a smile slowly forming on her face.

It was like the entire room let out a collective breath. Matt walked over to the couch and sat next to her, "Play the part you were talking about again," He said as he wrapped one arm around her and pulled her into a short hug. She placed her head on his shoulder for a moment before they returned their attention to the song and the changes that needed to be made. The guys surrounded them on the couch and started discussing various other things regarding the tour.

Sora and I placed ourselves at the counter happily watching from a distance. She nudged me a bit, "You gonna be ok with all of this," She said quietly. "Mhhm," I nodded. "I wasn't sure at first but … we are more than two people who dated. We were best friends for years, we dated for a couple of months, I think if I didn't give us a chance to rebuild that friendship I would be making a mistake." She placed her hand on my shoulder, "Well if you ever need to talk or vent just know I'm always here." I gave her hand a squeeze as she got up off her stool and made her way over to the group.

I saw my backpack was just next to the counter so I reached down, rummaged through my bag, and grabbed my notebook and a pen. I looked over at the group before I started to write, that was why I had come after all, and I had an awful lot to catch up on before we left in a few days.


	8. Chapter 8

Edited 9/27/18 I don't own Digimon or the song "Alive" by Sia.

Follow the Playlist on Spotify: Playlist FF

* * *

 _"I was born in a thunderstorm_

 _I grew up overnight_

 _I played alone_

 _I'm playing on my own_

 _I survived"_

* * *

"How long has it been?"

"Huh?" I looked up at the woman holding my hair in her hands.

"Since your last hair cut, sweetie." The hair dresser smiled at me, kindly, as she happily watched my hair fall to the ground.

"Oh, I mean, maybe 3 years," I replied.

"Well this is going to feel amazing for you when we are done, way lighter, and healthier," She beamed as she talked.

I couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm. I looked down and watched my dark, brown, hair flutter around as it fell to the floor. My hair was _so_ thick, it was one of the reasons I kept it short for so long. Growing up, all the girls in school thought I was crazy, _"What will you do for the dance? Don't you get bored? It's so boyish,"_ I used to just laugh at all of them. If they had short hair they would understand how liberating it was, it never got in the way, it was easy to manage, plus I always felt prettiest with short hair that framed my face.

"So what's the occasion?" I pondered her question, thinking of the way I looked before the hair cut had started, arms still covered, dark circles under my eyes,

"I needed a change," I drifted, before remembering an important, and far more upbeat detail. "Oh, and I'm going on tour with my friend's band, I figured it would be less work on the road."

"A band? How cool! Well, I think this is going to be just, super great, you just make sure to tell all your fans where you got your killer hair cut from," She exclaimed, sending me a wink.

She reminded me of my friend, Mimi, so confident and bubbly, I always envied the attitude.

"Alright, Im going to turn you around, it might be weird at first, I took a ton off." Her confidence wavered a bit. I wondered how many girls had cried in her chair, wanting a big change but, immediately, regretted it. She flipped me around and I looked at a girl I hadn't seen in years. I smiled as I ran my hands through what was left of my hair. It was asymmetrical to one side. Just below my ear on the left and just below my chin on the right. It was choppier, and edgier, than it had been growing up.

"It's perfect." I beamed, as she let out a big sigh. "Oh good! I sure thought so, but some girls just _can't_ handle the change."

"No way, I've had it shorter than this, but this is exactly what I need for right now." I flipped my head a bit, back and forth, enjoying the way it bounced without all the dead weight my long hair had.

I finished up at the salon and checked my watch to see how I was doing on time. I had one more appointment that day. Sliding my phone out of my back pocket, I fumbled with the lock, sliding my fingers across the screen until I got to my photos. My fingers scrolled up the screen until I found the photo I was looking for. As I made my way across the city I took in every line and, dot, in the picture I had come to be so fond of. I clicked the screen to capture the photo so it was the first one that would come up when I opened it again.

This was something I had been thinking about doing for years. The only person who I ever talked about it with was T.K., during our senior year. We had planned to go together after graduation, once our parents couldn't technically control our lives anymore. We joked about the trouble we would get into.

I thought about Michael in comparison, he always commented on girls having them and how, trashy, and unattractive it was. I tabled so many things I wanted because of our relationship.

Lost in my thoughts, I looked up and realized I had gone a block too far, I backtracked to my destination. I walked inside and took a look around, photos of past work covered the walls, and there was a sterile smell to the space.

"Kari?" A tall redheaded guy, who looked about 10 years older than me, called over.

"Yea, thats me."

"Great, I have everything all set for you if you're ready to go." He had, soft, brown eyes, freckles, that speckled his nose, and a charming smile. I was expecting someone edgier looking, but his gentle features calmed my anxiousness. The work he had was all, extremely, well done, and his portfolio was exceptional. He did Matt's piece, I found his card lying around when I first moved in.

We walked back to his space and he told me to get comfortable. I laid down on his table, he gave me a pillow for my head and took a look at my arm.

He frowned at the faded bruises still making little shapes across my skin, "We might want to reschedule."

I bolted up from the table. I hadn't even thought about how they would affect it. I looked at my arm, and the dark mark on my bicep, my eyes traveled down to my forearm, it was bare of discoloration.

"What if we moved it?" I said, hopefully.

I pointed to the spot, and he checked me out, before nodding in approval of the move. He carefully cleaned my arm with an alcohol pad and used a razor to shave the area clean. He opened his tools from their sterile wrapping and, carefully, put his equipment together. He put a clear gel on my arm and placed the picture face down. He pulled it up and turned my arm a bit to look it over.

"Is that placement ok?"

I looked over the design on the inside of my forearm, "Perfect." It was better there than my bicep anyway.

"Alright, lets go." I laid back down, and closed my eyes. The gun made a loud, quick, "tic tic tic tic." noise as he got started. As he dragged the needle across my skin I was surprised by how much less it hurt than I expected. I had been through worse.

"That ok?" He said as he wiped away some ink.

"Yea, no problem."

I let myself zone out while he continued. Every once in a while I would tense up or feel my arm twitch a bit. I was surprised when he finished how easy it was.

Physical pain, always, felt different when you were in charge of it.

* * *

It was about six o'clock and Kari still hadn't come home. We were all a little nervous this morning when she had already been gone a few hours, until we found a note on the fridge, in plain site, explaining she would be out for most of the day. At that point we all felt foolish for assuming the worst, she deserved a little more trust from us.

Matt, Sora, and I just finished dinner. We had a pretty relaxing day, compared to the past few, Matt and Sora packed and I spent it writing.

Some of Matt's friends had offered to take him out, since it was one of his last nights in town, but we decided to throw on a movie and just stay in. I think we all needed some peace after everything. It was nice that it was just us for the day, it reminded me of being back in middle school, crashing with each other when our mom or dad were gone on assignment.

It was about an hour later when we heard the sound of keys jingling from the hall.

"Hey everyone," Kari shouted as she came through the door, she made a bee line for the kitchen.

"Hey!" We all shouted back.

"Thanks Matt," she walked into the living room with a bowl of ramen Matt had set aside for her.

I did a double take as she sat down in the love seat, "Your hair." She had a big grin on her face and shook her head a bit making her brown hair dance around her head.

"You like it?"

I nodded, between the hair and the smirk she was sporting, she was starting to look like herself again.

"Hey, what's with the patch?" Matt probed.

I was so fixated on her hair that I, totally, missed the white square covering her right forearm. My stomach lurched for a moment, but when I looked back at her face she was still smiling, so I knew she wasn't hurt. She set her dinner down and took a seat onto the table in front of us. My eyes traveled up and away from the bandage to the lingering bruises on her arms. I was happy to see them fading away. She slowly peeled her patch away and revealed a tattoo.

"No way!" Matt reached out for her arm and, gently, inspected it. "Very out of character, I like it. You went to Bobby, didn't you?" He asked, as Sora took a turn checking it out.

"Yea, he was great, not what I expected," said Kari.

"For sure. I remember going in and thinking I was going to be meeting some guy with a septum piercing, and a face tattoo, and there he is looking like he just came from prep school. Can't judge a book," Matt said, chuckling. "So, how long have you been planning this?"

"I mean, I've wanted one since we were in high school but the time was never right, when I moved in and found his card I decided to go for it," She said.

Sora moved so I could take a look, "What's it mean?" Sora asked.

I leaned in to study it. It was a circle that was formed by a snake eating it's own tail, the inside bottom had, small, detailed wildflowers that made the shape of a crescent moon, the top of the circle had vines growing out like the suns rays. The snakes body was covered in tribal art and right in the bottom middle was the only color, a pink flower that I recognized, the flower she had doodled for years on the edge of her notebook.

"It's the Ouroboros, it represents self sufficiency, endless creation, and destruction. The flowers are the sun and the moon, so night, and day... life and death..." She trailed off.

"It's perfect," I said softly. "Just like you always talked about." I released her arm back to her. She smiled back before getting up and sat back in the seat with her meal. Matt put the movie back on and we settled in.

* * *

I felt someone nudging my shoulder, cracking an eye open I saw T.K. above me.

"Hey," He was whispering. "You passed out. I figured you wouldn't want to spend the whole night on this chair." He smiled, sweetly, as he spoke.

I looked over to the couch and noticed Sora and Matt were gone. "They went to bed a while ago," he said, noticing my confusion.

I rubbed my eyes and sat up. He held out his hand to help me up. I took it, his hand wrapped around my smaller one easily, it was warm, and rough. Michaels hands were always so soft, I always thought they were too soft for a man, too soft for the pain they inflected.

"You ok?"

He was waiting for me to get up, his face showing concern, I looked up and thought about how truly good he was, and wanted to laugh at my situation. Here I was in the midst of an angel after living with the devil himself. I started to stand and he helped me out of the chair.

"Yea sorry, just zoned out." I said. "I guess today took a lot out of me."

I was searching for an excuse. I felt so bad dumping so much on him since he had arrived, he didn't need to hear anymore.

"Not surprised, tensing up that much will take it out of ya," He seemed sure of this.

"What aren't you telling me." I asked, squinting. His face got a little red and I couldn't help but giggle. "Where is it hiding?"

"It's on my shoulder," He responded, shyly.

"Well let me see it," I walked around so I was facing his back.

When he started to pull his shirt over his head it was my face that was heating up. Good thing he was turned around. He still had the body of a basketball player, lean, and muscular, but not overly so. My focus went to his left shoulder, it was a graphic, tribal style sun, but the bottom rays extended further down. It was beautiful, while still managing to be masculine.

"Hope," I whispered, so quietly, I wasn't sure if he would hear me. I touched it gently before pulling back, feeling suddenly exposed even though he was the one missing a shirt.

As I stepped back he pulled his shirt back on.

"Did you go alone?" I asked feeling guilty, knowing it should have been something we did together.

"No, I um, went with Davis."

"Wait... Really? The Davis that doesn't know your name?" He laughed, a little too loud, but caught himself. I gestured towards my bedroom so we wouldn't wake the others.

"Yes, that Davis, he's aware of my name now." He said, laughing again. "We actually became quite close, he's probably the closest friend I have back home." There was obvious affection in his voice. It shocked me for a moment but, once I thought about it, it made sense.

"Once there was nothing left to fight over."

He reached out for me. His hand, once again, wrapping around mine, "Don't think of it like that, we had a lot of growing up to do before we were ever going to be close."

He pulled me over to my bed and we sat down, as he released my hand I was left wishing for the warmth of it. I was still skeptical about the two of them though.

Once T.K., and I, had gotten together Davis, immediately, stopped making jokes about being with me. He understood boundaries, and I do think by that point it was more of a joke than anything, but I think that was the relationship they were comfortable with when we were growing up. I was surprised that he didn't mention they were so close when we talked about his noodle dabbling the other day.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked again, voice laced with concern.

"Yea, I'm okay, just tired." It was half true.

"Okay, I'll let you get to sleep." He got up off my bed and started to make his way out.

"Wait," I stood quickly, feeling foolish immediately, what did I want? He turned and looked at me curiously.

"Just, thanks for waking me, I would have been miserable packing tomorrow with a crick in my neck." Smooth, I thought sarcastically.

He stepped over to me, wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me against his chest. I was caught off guard but, after a moment, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him back. I thought about how differently it felt to be in his arms as opposed to Michael's. He was absolute safety, while hugging Michael was a coin flip, it could be comforting or it could be the beginning of a sick game.

But this, I could have stayed here. Looking back, I wish I would have but, who knows what life would be now, things could have ended and we might have never spoken again. But now, at least we had a new start.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon or the song "Champagne's For Celebrating (I'll Have A Martini)" that would be Mayday Parade.

Follow the Playlist on Spotify: Playlist FF

* * *

 _"She left her books, her car, her clothes, and a note_

 _But all she wrote was, "Tonight I'm leaving on a train."_

* * *

"Do you want to stay for dinner?" She looked up at me, the light glittering against her eyes, with a small pout on her lips.

I was already seeing my Dad that night, but I would have loved to bail at the moment, even if it meant eating whatever weird concoction her mom had come up with that day.

I held her tighter and inhaled her scent, it was warm, woodsy, with a hint of vanilla, but not too sweet like most of the, over perfumed, girls at school. I knew it would be attached to me once I left, the way it was on my couch, or bed, after she had been over for the day.

"You know I would, if I could," I said.

I held her in the hallway of her apartment complex, my head rested gently against the top of hers. Sometimes, it annoyed me to think about how long it took us to stop seeing each other, just as friends, but honestly I was just grateful that we were together now. No reason to dwell, we had so much time in front of us. We had plans for the next day to hang out with our friends at the beach, and a million other little things we wanted to do this summer.

"I should get going," I said reluctantly. She nodded against my chest. I pulled away and leaned down to kiss her goodbye, she responded, and pulled me in deeper. She always made me wish for more at the most inappropriate times.

As we pulled apart I placed my forehead against hers. I opened my eyes and saw she was clenching hers tightly shut, like she was in pain.

"Is everything ok?"

I pulled away, and gently grabbed her chin, tilting her face up towards mine.

She blinked, smiling now, her normal self again, "Of course, sorry ... just a little tired."

I nodded, deciding not to push it, she always talked to me when she needed to, so I had no reason to think anything else. She pulled me in for one more hug, and as we parted, I gave her one last kiss.

"Love you, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Love you too," She responded, as I finally made my way to the elevator.

In that moment, I only thought of how lucky I was, but I should have looked back, walked back, checked to see if she was really ok. Maybe, I would have seen her looking at me with tears in her eyes. Maybe, I would have seen her reach back out to me. Maybe, I would have seen anything that would have given me a clue as to what was about to happen to us.

I was jolted awake by a mixture of my phone ringing and someone, franticly, banging on my door. I sat up, still half asleep, trying to decipher what was happening. In my, groggy, clumsiness I ended up knocking my phone on the floor.

"Damnit," I prodded around for my phone but the pounding persisted.

I finally woke enough to place the voice that was calling my name, Tai.

I grabbed my shirt from the floor and ran to the front of the apartment, unlatched the door and pulled it open, almost bringing Tai careening into the apartment. He placed both hands on my shoulders to steady himself, panting, looking a wreck. "Get," he gasped, "dressed."

"Tai, what's wrong?" Seeing him like that was horrifying, I hadn't seen him this distressed since we were kids.

"She's gone," he said. My stomach dropped. "But, if we hurry, we might be able to catch her."

"What?" I was so confused, for a moment I thought that meant... but now.

I tried to ask him more but he cut me off. "T.K. we don't have time I'll explain in the car!"

I quickly got dressed, following orders, and we headed out. We were quiet in the car for a few moments, his breath ragged, me holding mine, waiting for answers.

"Tai, what's going on? where is she?" He signed, and dug into his pocket, swerving a bit as he did. He pulled out a crumpled mess of papers and handed them to me.

One was a note that just said, "I'm sorry it needed to be this way. I love you all. I'll call once I'm settled."

The next was an acceptance letter to a school in the United States. I read it three times, as the words slowly processed in my head, _'We are pleased to offer you acceptance...'_ The school, she had talked about it, about being wait-listed. She said it was fine she would go to school here, with me.

There was one more piece of paper but I was afraid to shift my focus, afraid at what it would reveal. I carefully folded the other two before pulling the last one into my view. The last note had my name on top, it said, "I'll always love you most. I'll try to explain one day. I'm sorry. Forgive me."

I wanted to believe it wasn't true, but there it was in front of me, in her rough, and scratchy, handwriting. I looked at Tai for some sort of answer, but he was avoiding my gaze, his focus steady on the road in front of us.

He took a deep breath, exhaling until there was nothing left in his chest, "She was gone when I got home today, I had Izzy hack into her email to see if he could find anything," He looked so guilty saying this, I'm surprised Izzy even agreed, but hearing the frantic tone to Tai's voice, I can only imagine how hard it was to argue with him. "He found her flight plan."

* * *

We had been in the plane for about an hour, everyone was out except for T.K., and I. He had his tray down, scribbling away in his notebook. Every once in a while he would start chewing on the bottom of his pen, face all scrunched up and lost in thought, then his face would light up and he'd start writing again.

I fought the urge to reach over and ruffle up his hair, like I would when he was younger. I really missed him. His charming, easy nature, and the way he could lighten up a room, even when it felt like it was closing in around us. He had this way of making Matt softer, and more laid back. I mean, he honestly had that effect on anyone, but I was partial to anything that had a positive effect on my boyfriend. Matt had been so worried when Kari first asked to stay, he knew T.K. would never say anything against the choice, but he didn't want him to be uncomfortable. He also knew he couldn't turn away the girl that had been like a sister to him since he was a kid. I hoped T.K. would be ok though, he was always the one to roll with the punches, even if they were set against him.

I remember when Kari first left and how angry Yolei, and Davis, had been, both feeling so disappointed that she had left T.K. behind the way she did, and both so hurt themselves. It was T.K. who finally told everyone to stop trashing her. _"She has a reason,"_ he held on to that for a long time, like a mantra you say to keep yourself sane.

I spent weeks trying to come up with a conclusion until Matt finally told me to let it go. He found her at school, and talked to her, but wouldn't say a thing to any of us, T.K. didn't even know. I was so angry at him, it put a pretty big rift between us for a while. I was the one here, picking up the pieces of our best friend and his own brother, and there he was telling me to let it go. Like it was something simple, like a five dollar bet I lost, and not the most painful, and dramatic, thing that had happened to our group of friends in years.

I was the one who had been there that day. Tai, and T.K., came over to my place after they tried to catch her at the airport, neither feeling like they could be in their own homes. Tai paced a lot, talking to himself mostly, going between confusion, anger, and sadness. They were so close, closer than most siblings, it always made me slightly jealous that I never had a sister, or a brother. I never knew exactly what to make of them. Matt, and T.K., made sense, clinging on to any time they had together due to their parents divorce, plus they were both boys so they had that in common to fall back on. Tai, and Kari, they were special, they confided in each other like the best of friends, instead of siblings, and they didn't fight the way most did. It was like the argument was never worth the possible fall out, and time taken to forgive. My heart ached so much for him.

Eventually, his mother called and asked him to come home, they were trying to reach her from there and she wanted him around when they finally got in touch with her.

T.K. said, he would walk himself home. I sat down next to him and put my arm around his shoulders, and he finally let go, and broke down. He sobbed, shaking in my arms, she was his best friend for ten years, it was like mourning a death. He didn't understand what he had done to make her think she couldn't tell him, absolutely, anything. He couldn't think of what could be so bad that she would just run away. He felt abandoned, and in a way I don't think he'd felt since his parents split. I've never felt so much pain for another person in my life, what I thought I felt for Tai, twenty minutes earlier, was nothing compared to what I felt for this younger boy in my arms.

He never publicly said a bad word against her, always defending her, and that one moment was the only time I ever saw him break down. We never spoke of it again.

So, how he was now, that she was so suddenly thrust back into his life, and with everything that was happening around us.

Seeing Kari, Michael grabbing her, and the marks he had left on her, was one of the scariest things I have ever seen, and we saw plenty of frightening things growing up. I was still conflicted about not telling Tai, I was constantly opening, starting, and closing a message to him. I felt like after everything, he should know what was happening in her life.

She eventually reached out to Tai after running away, but there was still this feeling of betrayal I think he held on to, this sense of loss. He never talked about her the same way, it hurt so much to see, the relationship I envied so much, torn to shreds, for a reason we still didn't know. I closed the message again and signed, I would give her more time, I knew I would want it if I was her.

I jump, startled, too lost up in my head, when I felt someone gently wrap their hand around mine. "His scratching keeping you awake too?" I looked at Matt, the corners of his mouth turned up, while his eyes were still closed. T.K. stopped writing, and glared at him. I stifled a laugh, trying not to disturb everyone on the plane.

"Note to self, make Matt look bad," T.K. whispered, as he scribbled in his notebook again.

"Hey now, that's not nice," Matt mocked, grabbing for his notebook.

They struggled a bit before I pulled it out of their hands. "Alright kids, that's enough."

"Probably time for some sleep anyways," T.K. said, leaning back into his seat.

I handed him his notebook and he placed it in his backpack by his feet.

"How much longer anyway?" he asked.

"We still have like six hours, settle in." Matt replied, laying his head against my shoulder.

I leaned into him, letting myself relax, and let go of my worries, at least for a little while.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or the song Colors by Halsey

* * *

" _Your little brother never tells you but he loves you so_

 _You said your mother only smiled on her tv show_

 _You're only happy when your sorry head is filled with dope_

 _I hope you make it to the day you're twenty-eight years old"_

* * *

"Wiggle your fingers and toes, start to deepen your breath, and roll to your right side. Here, let your practice settle."

Bodies shifted across the room, breath became heavier, and more purposeful.

"Come up into a seated position, with your eyes still closed, and bring your hands to heart center. We will end this practice as we always do, with namaste. Namaste means, I honor the good and light in you and you say it back, to acknowledge the good and light in me."

"Namaste," we all said at once.

I rubbed my eyes, and blinked a few times, trying to adjust them back to the natural light that was escaping through the blinds of the small yoga studio. I was so excited when I found one close to our hotel. It had been a good escape back in the city. I got up, and rolled the mat I borrowed, heading out into the front area of the studio to return it. I set in in a basket near the register and looked over at the mats they had for purchase. They had one, really skinny, mat that was made for travel, I rubbed my fingers over the sticky rubber material before grabbing it and placing it on the counter. I hadn't purchased anything that wasn't absolutely necessary for myself in a while. I thought it might be good to have on the tour, to help me decompress, if I couldn't get to a studio in the smaller cities.

Outside, the sun beat down on my covered arms, I raised my face towards the sky and let it warm up my skin. I missed the summer weather, we were essentially skipping spring by starting the tour in California and that was ok with me.

I headed up to our rooms and heard some raised voices coming from Matt's room.

"Matt I'm fine," I hear Trevor say, grudgingly through the door.

"See, he doesn't need us hovering, he can handle it!" Colin jumped into the argument.

I hesitated before knocking on the door, did I want to bother right now? Against my better judgement I knocked anyway, an annoyed looking Sora answered and ushered me in.

"What's all the commotion about?" I set my new mat on the floor, eyeing the good wearily, and took a seat on the bed next to John, who seemed the safest at the moment.

"Colin is insisting we go to some night club ton-" Matt was cut off by Colin.

"Kari what about you? Don't you think that sounds like a killer way to start out this adventure, we call tour?"

Everyone looked toward me expectantly, Colin hopeful, Sora bored, Matt annoyed, and John generally uncomfortable.

I thought about it for a moment, scanning the room, and when I reached Trevor I saw him nodding that it was ok.

"Bar or club?" I questioned.

Colin excitedly replied, "Club, DJ, daaaaancing," he was teasing me with that last part, gyrating his hips around horribly.

I always wanted to go out dancing back home, but the guys were always, in some hole in the wall, having cheap beer.

"It has been a while," I more mumbled to myself than anyone else, but Colin took this as a victory.

"Yes! It's settled," he said triumphantly.

"Wait!" I interrupted his short lived celebration, "I don't have the right clothes for something like that," I felt foolish the minute it came out of my mouth.

They were arguing about Trevor's well being, and here I was, worried about an outfit. I was a bit disappointed in Matt though, I don't know how he expected Trevor to be ok if he kept assuming he would fail, I always liked to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Sora perked up, "Clothes? Shopping … not being here," She grumbled out the last part. "Lets go!" She shot up and grabbed my arm, pulling me towards the door.

"Wait! I need to shower," I pleaded, looking down at my sweaty workout attire.

"You're fine, it's LA, athleisure is in. Matt I'm taking the card, BYEEE!"

As we rushed out the door, Sora had this amused glint in her eye.

I heard Matt shouting, "That's for emergen-" before the door slammed cutting him off.

"They have, literally, been arguing all morning, I can't take it anymore. It's like he tried to replace your brother with 3 people," Sora said annoyed, but apologetic.

I nodded in understanding.

"Hey, where you guys headed?" We turned and saw T.K. rounding the hallway from the elevators going towards Matt's room.

"Shopping, be back later," Sora said quickly, and we were off. Leaving a confused T.K. in our path.

* * *

As I went to grab Matt's door Trevor came barging out. He completely ignored me as he sulked by, grabbing his cigarettes out of his pocket, walking in the direction the girls just went. I stopped the door before it closed and went into my brothers room. Matt was grumbling, and picking up random articles of clothing off the floor. John was on the queen size bed, fumbling around, on his phone.

"Um, hey cheery people," I got a small smirk out of John, but Matt glared his, most specific daggers, a look that used to be saved for Tai on rare occasions. At least someone liked my attempt.

The bathroom door opened and a happy Colin exited, "Going out tonight T.K. gotta go prepare," He said, dancing, poorly, out of the room.

"Going where? Also, does he know it's only eleven in the morning?" I looked between Matt, and John, for an answer.

"Some club that we, apparently, _must_ go to or we will never have fun. Ever. Again," The sarcasm was oozing from Matt.

"So, we aren't happy about this?"

Matt pinched the bridge of his nose, massaging the area there, like he was warding off a headache, "I'm worried about Trev, it's one thing for us all to be at a show, but a club in LA? If he wants coke all he needs to do is look left, or right. It's so easy, I just don't want him to fall back into old habits."

That explained why Trevor left in such a huff when I was coming in.

"Why doesn't Colin seem to be as worried as you?" It was strange to me that he seemed so excited while the rest looked like they were preparing for the worst.

"Colin wasn't there when he seized out and practically cracked his head open." John said, flatly.

"I didn't," I paused, not expecting that, and I suddenly felt like I was intruding on something insanely personal.

Matt put his hand on my shoulder, "It's fine, relax, I should have told you anyway. It's not like it's actually a secret."

"It's also not good if we keep babying him and expect him to go, desperately, looking for a fix," John looked up from his phone, trying to reason with my brother.

I had to agree with him, if I was in Trevor's situation, and people were constantly hovering over me, it would probably drive me in the wrong direction.

"I know, and that doesn't mean I won't try to be careful, but I know you're right. I'll try to be a bit more laid back about it," He avoided our gaze, grabbing a small bag and headed into the bathroom, we heard the shower turn on.

I turned to John, "Food?"

"Shit, yes, lets get out of here."

* * *

I was in a fitting room, trying on a few tops to go with a pair of, faux leather, shorts Sora had picked for me. Every time I came out to show her a new item she was more, and more, fidgety. It got to a point where she was biting her nails and I needed to stop her.

"Sora, seriously, what's wrong?" I huffed a bit, blowing hair out of my face.

Her expression softened a bit, "I was never good at hiding my emotions, huh?"

"Nope."

'Kari, I just … maybe, have you thought of … I know it's hard, but," She trailed off and I was left staring at her trying to decipher the riddle she had laid out in front of me.

I sat down next to her, "What?" I pleaded, softly.

"HaveyouthoughtaboutreachingouttoTai?Abouteverything." She said it so fast it took me a moment to actually process the words, I stiffened as I did, and she felt it immediately. "He misses you, and he would never ever judge anything. You know he would _only_ support you."

I thought about all the awkward and strained conversations we had since I left. I didn't know how to talk to him anymore, and it felt so self serving to reach out to him now after everything, I didn't deserve his support.

"I miss him too, I just don't know if now is the right time. I'm not sure how to fix that one when I'm trying to fix myself."

She thought about this for a moment, "T.K. dealt with everything well enough, why wouldn't Tai be the same?"

I know her efforts were well meaning but that situation seemed, very, different to me.

"T.K. also didn't have much of a choice, he was kind of thrust into it. Plus," I thought carefully before continuing. "He's different. T.K. never should have forgiven me, and if he wasn't such a damn saint, he probably wouldn't have."

 _What I did is hardly forgivable,_ I thought silently to myself.

"Why did you leave anyway?"

I was shocked, she asked so bluntly, but all I saw on her face was genuine curiosity, no anger. I had kept it in for so long and the only person that knew, ironically was Matt, at least I knew he always kept his word now.

I heard some other people making their way towards us. I sulked into the fitting room and changed back into my clothes. I stopped, and stared at myself in the mirror, running my hand across my stomach, I was so skinny from all the stress over the past few months. I had dark circles under my eyes, the, pale, purplish color matching the, mostly faded bruises, left on my arms. I could probably wear something sleeveless tonight, in the dark no one would even notice. I pulled my shirt back on and grabbed a few of the tops. After leaving I held out my favorite two to Sora. She looked them over and picked one.

As we headed out of the store I could feel the weight of the question hanging over us. I looked, up and down the street, until my eyes landed on a pub style restaurant.

I started heading in that direction, "Kari, the hotel is this way."

I looked back over my shoulder, "Well, your answer is in there, but after I get a drink."

...

A few hours later I headed back to my room feeling a bit lighter, telling Sora wasn't as hard as I imagined, once I started the words just tumbled out, start to finish. She wasn't upset with me but she did tell me I needed to tell T.K. She understood my fears though, and the rift I could possibly create. I wondered if it was worth it.

I swiped my key card into the door, and pushed it open. Standing in the room was a shirtless T.K. fresh from the shower.

Oh, yea, for some _ungodly_ reason we decided we could share a room so Matt and Sora could have, a night alone, to themselves since the next few months me and her would be bunking together a lot, plus we would be spending a good amount of time on the bus.

It would be fine, there were two beds, and it wasn't like we hadn't had a million sleep overs when we were kids. Plus, Sora was right, everything with us had been okay so far.

A blush crept over my face thinking about what got me into this mess in the first place.

"Oh, hey," he said, finally noticing me in the room. "Get anything good?"

"Yea, plus it was nice to get a girls day with Sora, considering we will be stuck on a bus with you guys 24/7 for the next few months. What did you guys end up doing?"

He looked uneasy for a moment, "Eh, we talked about Trevor. Followed by, very specific, attempts to not talk about Trevor."

I understood, I knew how Matt was when it came to his friend.

"So they told you everything?" I moved to take a seat on one of the double beds.

"Mhmm," He nodded back. He finished drying his hair with the crisp, white, hotel towel, discarding it in the corner, and taking a seat, in front of me, on the floor.

"I'm worried too," I said, a frown crossed my face. "But, I also know him well enough to know that he does better with trust, if we expect him to fail, he probably will. I don't want to drive him back to that place."

"I just don't have any experience with anything like this," he said.

I didn't think he would, his friends, our old friends, were so good and straight laced, that I wasn't surprised in the slightest. Up until Michael I wouldn't have either.

"I was at a party once and one of the girls…" I paused, should I even be telling him this story, what would he think? But, as I looked at him, and saw his concerned expression, ready and waiting to listen, to whatever I had to say, I knew I could tell him.

"It was a party that someone from Michael's cast was throwing. I felt like I was thrown into a Baz Lahrmann film. Everything was so bright, and gaudy, and it all felt like it was moving too fast, but too slow at the same time. The guy hosting the party passed around pills, like someone would pass around food, no one even questioned what it was. I got up to grab a drink when it came near me so no one would ask questions. Michael never did drugs at home, or when we would be out in public, it was only at these parties. He said, "It's part of the business," but I didn't see the point. Shouldn't it be about the work?

Anyway, there was this girl, Lexi, who was always known for pushing her limits. Apparently, insurance on set was hard to come by for her, but she was a good actress so they made it work. I watched her take a few pills, and do a few shots, but after a while she disappeared. I had a few drinks, maybe one too many. I remember feeling like such an outsider. I still wanted to fit into his world at this point, being slightly out of control seemed to be the only way for me to do that," I looked desperately into his eyes, hoping he wouldn't think I was horrible, that this wasn't changing who I had always been to him.

I took a deep breathe, "I remember, eventually, asking someone where she went. That person asked someone else, who finally asked the host. He ended up finding her in his bedroom with a needle in her arm, totally out. He shook her, nothing. He put his hand near her nose, "Fuck," he'd said, running out of the room. Everyone stood around paralyzed, I got my phone out to call the police but Michael grabbed it, roughly, out of my hand, "Don't be stupid," he said, harshly.

The host came into the room with that, Narcan, stuff that paramedics use on overdose victims. He sprayed it into her nose and started chest compressions, Michael pulled me out of the room, I didn't realize I had been crying until he told me to go clean myself up. I guess a few of them started to make some calls, and quietly got her to a hospital. I'll never forget the look of her when they wheeled her out, so pale and fragile, but breathing. About a month later she was back on set, like nothing even happened, no one tried to get her help, they just threw her back into her world.

When we got home that night, I was so shaken, and scared for her, and I felt like we should be at the hospital. Michael said, "It would create questions, we can't have this leaking to the press, the show doesn't need this kind of attention attached to it." I always felt dumb for not leaving in that moment, I should have known from that situation how things would turn out."

My elbows were on my knees, with my head in my hands, thumbs massaging my temples to ward off the headache I was sure would be brewing. It was a moment I was truly ashamed of, always wishing I could have gone back and done more. I felt some pressure on my foot and I looked down to see him gently giving it a squeeze. I raised my brow.

He said, "Your hand was too far."

I looked at him, and his gentle smile, and laughed at his attempt at comfort. I slid onto the ground, into his waiting arms, and he wrapped himself around me and held on tight. As he did, I exhaled years of regret. I let go of this story, and the hold it had obviously had over me for the past few years.

I let go of the fear I was holding when it came to communicating with T.K.

This boy, no this man, sitting in front of me would _never_ judge me, _never_ hate me, and always hold space for me when I needed it. Maybe, it was time to talk to him about why I left, maybe I didn't need all of my secrets.


	11. Chapter 11

Edited Again … 9/27/18

I'm back! All previous chapters have been edited and reposted as of August 7th. If you have not, I would at least reread the first three, Most of the changes were in those chapters. I lost inspiration for this story for a while. I finally have a good idea of where it's going and what's coming. I'm hoping for a solid 20-25 chapters once it's all finished. I hope I have not lost all of you! Please review after you read and let me know what you think.

Spotify -FF

I don't own Digimon or Closer by the Chainsmokers

* * *

" _You look as good as the day I met you_

 _I forget just why I left you,_

 _I was insane"_

* * *

Matt had been sick of being at the nightclub for about a half hour, and we only got there 20 minutes ago. It was more like being at a concert than being at a bar; the DJ was some sort of minor celebrity so the place was packed that night. There was a light show and apparently there were a few reality TV stars in the place, at least that's what I gathered from the chatter around the bar.

Colin was trying to get our group to the front, closest to the DJ, but Matt wasn't having it and most of us were on his side. It was too crazy and no one felt like being shoved all night. Colin was a little down about it but, eventually, he just told us to keep our eyes on the DJ, and with that, he was off.

John, and Sora, came over with drinks for everyone and we happily accepted them. It seemed like everyone needed to be slightly inebriated to handle the current situation. The guys went out, sure, but they didn't go clubbing.

Suddenly, we heard the music quiet down a bit and a voice came over the speakers.

"Hey everyone, I hope you're having a good time!" The sound of cheers reverberated through the building, "We have a special treat for you tonight, my buddy from NYC is here and he's going to take over for a bit, everyone get ready for some Colin MackMaster."

"Oh, mother of God," Matt rolled his eyes further into his head than normal, and groaned as he spoke.

"What?!" Sora and I both shouted in unison.

"So, Colin," He screamed over the music, "Is also, kind of a DJ, I mean that's why he's so good at mixing all our tracks. We actually first met at one of his shows, he's surprisingly good, but he was bored with it at the time. He always wanted to do a club in LA though, so that explains his desperation to get us here tonight." He visibly relaxed, now that there was a valid reason for us being here, and seemed to be less irritated at the whole situation.

"Wait … MackMaster?" I questioned.

"Mack is his last name, like MixMaster but Mack- oh hell I can't even say it out loud it hurts," Matt was laughing at this point.

"Why didn't he just tell us in the first place," John asked.

"He likes a good surprise," Matt Shrugged. "I wouldn't be shocked if he didn't still have something else as well."

"Well since we are here, and your face has moved from scowl, to smirk, I say we dance," Sora said, as she pulled Matt a little further into the crowd.

"Now, that, I want to be witness too, what do you say Kari?" John held out his hand, signaling to the direction they just went.

"Oh for sure!" She took his hand, and following him into the crowd. She turned back to Trevor and I, "You guys coming?"

He looked horrified at the prospect, and was sweating more than usual, so I thought it would be better to hang back with him.

"No, I think we are ok for now, later though?" She gave me a little salute and disappeared into the crowd.

"Oh thank god, can we find a wall or something," Trevor grabbed my arm, and started pulling me towards an open spot, without waiting for my reply. He leaned against the wall and took a deep breath.

"Are you _actually_ ok being here," I asked him, trying to sound both concerned and nonchalant at the same time. I still had very little clue about how to properly communicate with him.

"Not really," He replied, "I don't want everyone to feel like they need to babysit me, or walk on eggshells, but I'm not going to lie, being here is fucking _hard_ right now."

"Do you want to head back? I mean, while I've never been to one of these things before, it's also not going to break my heart if I skip it."

"So, you're gonna leave Kari here to get picked up by some other guy?" He gestured out into the crowd.

"She has everyone else here, I'm sure she can manage," I was trying to be easy going, but he looked at me like he knew better, and he probably did.

"Man, I hope you aren't actually that clueless, I'll be fine, I might head back in a bit, but I won't pull you away."

"Since when are you worried about the state of our relationship?" I was actually curious, since I originally thought he was more annoyed by me than anything else.

"Listen, she's more relaxed since you've been here than the entire time I've known her. She actually smiles instead of faking her way through the day."

What he said, did make me feel good. It was nice to hear I could make her a little lighter, but I still wasn't so sure.

"I mean, it's probably just the further away she gets from her relationship the happier she gets, it probably doesn't have anything to do with me."

He gave me this, stop bullshitting me look, "Listen, I'm not telling you to go after her this second, but I am telling you that she's happier and I can tell it's you. Just take the damn advice, and don't be so blind that you end up losing your chance… again, or whatever," he articulated his point, by throwing his arms up in frustration.

I thought about what he said, but I also hadn't been planned on going for anything with her, I mean we just reconnected about a week ago, and she just got out of something traumatic, I think the last thing she needed was me chasing after her.

We heard Colin's voice boom over the loudspeakers.

"Alright, alright, everyone! How about a little treat from me, and my good friend, who I'll be on tour with over the next few months. Hey Kari, get up here!"

We looked up at the stage towards Colin as he waved Kari towards the stage.

"Well, Matt did say he had something else planned," Trevor pushed off the wall and motioned towards where the others had disappeared to. We pushed through the crowd until we saw John's head pop up above everyone's, at least one of them was tall, otherwise we probably wouldn't have found them in the crowd.

"He's such a clown," Trevor called out to everyone.

"No man, I think this is strategic, it's like free marketing for the tour, " Matt shouted back, "You know I _never_ defend him."

We heard Colin coming over the mic again, we all looked back towards the stage, and saw Kari climbing up with the help of a few guys near the front. "Everyone welcome Kari Kaimya! She's gonna help me out with this next one."

You could see her expression from the back of the club, annoyed but amused, she grabbed the mic he handed her, "I am, am I?" She responded, and it gathered some laughs from the crowd.

He started playing a familiar song, mixing it a bit differently here, and there, and then, to my surprise he started to sing.

"He can sing?" I shouted over the sound of the music.

"NO!" Came the echo of Matt, John, and Trevor.

His voice was low, almost like he was talk singing, but it wasn't bad or anything.

"Come on guys, cut him a break, the guy on the track is low too. He picked it because, he knows, Kari loves this song. I heard him giving her a hard time about it a few days ago," Sora said.

"Oh man, he's been planning this for a while, nothing he does is this random, maybe he's smarter than we give him credit for," Matt responded.

"They look pretty good up there you should take some notes Matt," Trevor elbowed Matt in the ribs.

I watched them on stage until it got awkward. Trevor was right, they had a spark that her and Matt didn't, probably due to their brother/sister bond over the years.

They danced closely on stage together, the way people in the crowd were dancing to the song, it was, utterly, uncomfortable.

I walked away wordlessly towards the bar. I wanted another drink. I hated that I let this stuff bother me so much. I was acting possessive, even if it was only in my own head, and I didn't like it. It felt disrespectful to her. She didn't owe me anything, and we weren't together, I shouldn't be bothered by her preforming with someone who I was starting to consider a friend.

The song started to fade out and I felt someone bump up against me. I looked over and saw Trevor giving me a knowing glance.

"Leave it," I sounded like a jerk when I said it, but he just laughed it off.

At least he found humor in my misery.

Kari headed back over to the rest of the group, which led her back towards Trevor and I, but she got stopped by a large guy with a security shirt on. He leaned down to whisper something to her, and she nodded, but looked a bit uneasy. She pointed in our direction and started saying something back to him. He held up three fingers back to her, and she nodded, putting up her hand signaling she needed a minute.

She headed over, "Hey guys, can I get three of you for a few minutes?" She asked, still looking a tad weary.

"No problem, I think Trev and I are about done for the night," John clasped Trevor by the shoulders, and Trevor gave him a thankful look, it was obvious he was tapped out from all of this.

We said our goodbyes and then Sora, Matt, and I followed Kari back towards the security guard. He waved up, to follow him, and walked us towards one of the VIP sections. He undid the rope to a small area with a large couch in the shape of a semi circle.

"KARRRIIII"! A tall, dark haired, extremely skinny girl jumped over the table, and probably with all the strength she had, hugged Kari as tight as she could.

"Hey Kaci," Kari said less enthusiastically, while still seeming genuinely happy to see the other girl.

She looked familiar but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"Kac, these are a few of my friends, Matt, Sora, and T.K."

"Hey! It's nice to meet you all," she said, but quickly turned back to Kari, "Kari, how on earth did I not know you had such a killer voice, and what's this about some tour?"

She prodded for details, as she did a waitress came and handed us drinks, on the house. I guess it was nice to be a VIP. It was something clear, Matt actually smelled it, before shrugging and taking a sip, it must have been strong by the look on his face. Sora and I shared a glance before discreetly sliding ours onto a high table behind us.

"Oh, yea, I mean, I went to school for theater, but I wasn't really finding work in the city. I guess it never came up," I could tell she was feeling awkward about the conversation, as she shifted her weight back and forth, playing with the edge of her shorts between her fingers.

"And Michael never got you set up with anyone? Unbelievable, he's such a narcissist, probably needed to make sure he stayed more famous or something," Kaci rolled her eyes, taking a long sip of her drink. It seemed like she wasn't really a fan of him, but that must have been how Kari knew her.

"Yea, I mean it's fine. It all worked out, I joined Matt's band," She gestured over to him. "So, we will be on tour for the next few months, we have our first show tomorrow."

"Well that's awesome, I'll _seriously_ try to make it, and bring a few people. I feel like there is nothing important happening tomorrow." She said, scrolling through her phone. She suddenly looked back up at Kari with wide eyes. "Also, just to be clear, while I was a little sad to see you guys split, because you are probably the sweetest person he will, actually, ever know, I was really happy to see you two breakup."

Kari's eyes widened, she tried to recompose herself, but Kaci saw her face and tried to back track.

"No girl, not because of you, ugh this is _hard_. You know, I've known him since we were kids, and while I wish he wasn't such a skeeze, he is. I'm pretty sure he pushed Megan around a bit before they split, so I'm happy you got out before anything like that could happen to you."

Kari looked for a moment like she might cry, but she quickly softened her features, "I appreciate that, I really just wish him the best ya know?" She said, sweetly.

Anyone that had known her longer than a week could have see through her, but this Kaci girl looked like she just helped Kari dodge a bullet, and you could tell she felt really good about it.

Suddenly, I felt someone put their hands on my hips from behind, I jumped a little before I heard a small high pitched voice, "Hey, sweetie, who let you in," I turned around to find a small blonde girl, wearing possibly the tightest dress I had ever seen, slinking up against me.

"Um, ugh, I um with," I pointed, and looked desperately, over at Kari.

I know it probably came out wrong, but I was literally _that awkward_ in the moment, stuttering and stumbling, like I'd never seen a girl before, but was pretty sure, flat out, turning her down was too rude.

She pouted, and slinked out of the section over to the next, closest, group of guys.

"Kari, I didn't know you had a new guy already! Tell me more!" Kaci looked, excitedly, towards me.

"We're actually just friends," we said in unison, just as we had in high school, it was so cringeworthy I didn't even flinch when Matt, and Sora, covered their mouths to hide their laughter. Kaci simply raised a brow.

"We dated for a few months in high school, but that's it, we have been friends since we were little," Kari rubbed the back of her neck, giving far to much information to seem innocent.

"Uh huh," Kaci replied, unconvinced. "We'll see." She sent me a wink. "Alright girl, I'm gonna get out there but it was _so_ good to see you, I'll try to make it tomorrow."

With that, she gave Kari a kiss on the cheek, and was off into the crowd.

"What did I miss?" Colin shouted around one of the security guards, clearly, not about to let him into the area. We headed back over to him and agreed to get out of there.

Once we were outside everyone, kind of, gathered around Kari and started firing off questions, talking over each other.

"Was that really Kaci Jet?"

"You mean, one of those sisters on TV?"

"Did you get what she said about Michael?"

"Wait how did I miss so much in 20 minutes?!"

"Everyone, chill." Kari put her hands up. "Yes that was Kaci Jet, yes she is one of those sisters on TV. I was introduced to her at a party with Michael. She was always pretty nice, she wasn't as much of a mess as most of the other people there, and she's probably the more grounded one in that family."

We took it in as we walked. Sora piped in pretty quick though, "What she said about that other girl? Do you think it's true."

"I'm not sure, but I wouldn't be surprised," Kari said, sadly.

"I mean, maybe, you should think about pressing charges after all. What if he does it to someone else," Sora was trying to be kind, but Kari stopped in her tracks, she looked offended, and hurt.

"You think I don't think of that every day?" Her eyes were glossy, "In the end, the charges would never stick and I would just be splashed on the cover of tabloids, as the girl who lied, and tried to ruin his career. Can we just drop it? Completely! I'm trying to move on with my life here. I thought that was the whole point of me coming." Her voice had gotten a little erratic, but she was trying her best to stay composed.

We all were quiet, and Sora looked ashamed, I know she didn't mean to make her feel like that, but no one was willing to argue with Kari about it.

We finished our walk back to the hotel in silence.

* * *

A/N: Next chapter Kari finally spills to T.K. it's already written I just have to edit it so expect it within the week!


	12. Chapter 12

Edited 9/28/18

Here is it, let me know what you think.

I do not own Digimon or the song 'Two Little Lines,' that is by Drew Gasparini

Spotify - Playlist FF

* * *

 _"So I'll give what I got whether they like it or not_

 _I'm not changing the plot to my story_

 _I've got brains, I've got heart, and I've got plenty of time_

 _So why should I be scared of two little lines"_

* * *

I swirled around the contents of my drink, and by contents I mean whiskey, and a remaining single ice cube. I was slowly, over the past 24 hours, getting used to it. The drinking, was probably not the most healthy way to handle the information I had been given, but I felt like I was allowed some self pity.

I helped set up for the show that night, and had been sitting at the bar ever since. Everyone had been walking on eggshells around me and, half of them, didn't even know why. I looked at my phone for the hundredth time, staring at her phone number, debating the call I knew I would eventually have to make.

I glanced up at the stage for a moment, when I heard her laughing, I imagined what life would have been had that laugh not been stolen from me for the past few years. What we could have become together had she never interfered.

I had been going through a range of emotions but the strongest was feeling betrayed. Needless to say, I wanted to slam my head against a wall. I finished the drink in my hand quickly, feeling the burn that went with it, as the liquid slid down my throat and into my empty stomach, and headed outside for some fresh air. I sat on the curb and put my head in my hands trying to figure out what to do next. After all this time, I finally knew, and I never would have guessed what got us here.

* * *

When we went back to the hotel the night before, I decided to give Kari some privacy, after the tense walk back from the club. I wanted to talk to her about it but I knew she needed time. I knew she would eventually feel bad about snapping at Sora, but now wasn't the time to talk about it.

Later, when I walked into the hotel room, I knew something was really wrong. The light in the bathroom was on and I heard quiet sobs, echoing off the walls, in the bathroom. It had been over an hour, and now I felt guilty that I had left her alone for so long.

"Kari," I softly called to her from outside the door.

I heard her take a shaky breath, she was fumbling with some things on the counter, before the door opened and she came out, red faced.

"Sorry, you can get in there if you need to." She quickly headed over to her bed.

"I heard you crying, what's wrong?"

She sat on the bed facing away from me, she placed her face in her hands and shook her head, 'no.' I didn't know if it was for me, or her. I stepped over her discarded shoes, and jacket, and sat on the bed.

"Talk to me," I softly pleaded, placing my hands gently on her arms.

"Why are you like this?" She whispered.

"What?" I felt a little hurt, and confused. I didn't know what I was, possibly, doing wrong.

"How are you just, _here_? With me? With what I did. Still _so_ nice to me, trying to make sure I'm okay, after being in the stupidest situation I could have, ever, gotten myself into, with the biggest asshole on the planet. You have every right to _hate_ me, to be awful, rude, and mean," she chocked out a sob, and started to cry again. "But no, here you are as kind, and generous as ever, and I keep trying to find the words to talk to you, but I'm choking on them knowing they will _never_ be enough. You deserve to know, but when I say it I can't take it back, and it could ruin so much," She was crying so hard I could barely understand her. I turned her so she was facing me, and hugged her close, rubbing my hand down her back to try and calm her.

"I'm dealing with all this Michael garbage, and I might be dealing with it for a long time. It's uncharted territory. I read about the way that I feel, and wonder if I have PTSD. I wonder if I'll ever feel safe with a man again. I wonder if I made the wrong decision, and if I'm putting other women in danger. I wonder if it all falls on me, or if I shouldn't have to burden the responsibility of what he does to anyone else. I think that I should be able to be selfish, and try to put myself back together first," She was shaking as she spoke, but was calming slightly.

She took another, deep, shaky breath, "On top of it, here you are, thrust back into my life at a point where I don't feel ready for you, but at the same time, you're here which means the universe wants me to make amends. Maybe, part of me getting through this is trying to beg you for forgiveness, so I can have my friend back to help me right now. I know it's selfish to say, but I want our friendship back, because I _so_ desperately need the person who knows me best, who can get me out of the deepest funk, and who can call me on my bullshit," She wiped her face and looked up at mine. "It's not all selfish though. I also want you to know, because you deserve to know why, I did what I did, and that you _never_ did anything wrong."

I lifted my hands to her face, and as gently as I could, started wiping away her tears. I hated seeing her cry, seeing her in pain, and hurt.

"Kari, I'm the hardest person to get rid of, literally, ever. I'm not going anywhere," She laughed a bit between her sobs, at least she wasn't totally lost in her misery. "Please, just tell me everything. It can't be any worse than the not knowing." I had to be honest, there was very little she could tell me that was worse than the, actual, act of leaving, that had already happened.

She pulled back from me, and took a few deep breaths. "It started three months before graduation, after ... after our first time."

* * *

We laid in his bed, still intertwined, breathing deeply from what had just taken place. We hadn't planned on it or anything, it wasn't like that, it just happened, as naturally as anything else we did. He rolled on his side smiling down at me, as he ran kisses, from my forehead, down to my mouth. When he kissed me, I could taste the sweat from my face, lingering, on his lips. He pulled my back against his chest, and held me tight. We laid like that for a while, knowing we were safe from being caught, his mother still worked ridiculous hours, and wouldn't be home for a while. So we stayed in our little world, just laying together, listening to music, and quietly talking, as if we got too loud everything might shatter.

It was the way I wish everyone could lose their virginity, to someone they loved, with no pretense or pressure, and clumsily, fumbling through the motions.

I remember, when I got into my bed that night, how much I missed feeling him against me. I thought about our future, and how someday soon, we would fall asleep together every night.

Six weeks later I was vomiting into my toilet, three times in one week. I never had a fever, and at first I thought it was just something I ate, but I started getting worried when it carried into a second week. During the second week, of the weird nausea, I realized I hadn't gotten my period in over two months. I had been so worried about finals, and graduation, that I hadn't even noticed. That's when I started panicking.

I stayed home from school one day, and finally decided I needed to get a test. I took the subway, about a half hour away from where I lived to find a store, so no one would notice me. When I got home, I went into the bathroom and read the instructions carefully, probably three or four times, before I finally took it. I set my phone timer, and paced through the house, praying that no one would decided to come home early. When my phone started dinging I felt my stomach drop, deep down I knew it was going to tell me what I already felt, and when I went in to check, it was confirmed by two little lines. I got so dizzy, I almost passed out, I laid down on the cold bathroom floor trying to calm myself down, knowing my entire life was about to change.

I was so afraid. I knew my parents loved me, and I knew, my mother would never kick me out or anything. I was more worried about my father killing T.K., and his family, his mother Nancy would lose it. She was so protective of him. The concept of telling her was more horrifying to me than anyone else. And, what would he say? The more I thought about it, the more I knew he would probably support what ever I wanted to do, regardless of what it would mean for our lives.

Our lives, college, all our plans, would go down the drain. We would have to work to take care of a baby, T.K. wouldn't get to write, and I wouldn't get to do anything. Or, I could not have it, it was accessible enough, and no one would ever have to know. I started feeling sick again, I wasn't against the idea in general, but for me I don't think I could do that, especially considering it was apart of T.K.

I leaned over the toilet again, just dry heaving as there was nothing left to expel. Once I had calmed a bit I grabbed the test, and all its wrapping, and got a bag to take it out to the trash, I didn't want anyone to find it.

Once I was back inside I curled up in a ball, in my bed, and cried, for the fear that was layering itself around me, for the future we would be losing, for what his mother would say, and regardless of the support I knew I would receive from my mother, the disappointment I knew she would feel. T.K. called me a few times after school, but I just kept letting it go to voicemail, because I didn't know how to face him.

I just let the world get dark around me as the sun went down.

The next day, when I went to school, I just acted as if nothing was wrong. I saw T.K. staring at me a few times during the day, trying to figure out what I was hiding. He could always tell, but he was also good about giving me space if he thought I might need it.

My stomach was, constantly, in knots over the next few days. I couldn't eat, and if I got two or three hours of sleep a day that was saying something. When I would look in the mirror in the morning it was so hard for me to imagine that a baby was growing inside of me, as I was losing weight from all the stress, and morning sickness.

Another two weeks went by, and I knew I was going to have to tell him soon, I would need to get to a doctor eventually, and we would need to start figuring out what we were going to do. I went over to his house early on a Saturday morning, forgetting that he had gone over to Matt's the night before to hang out.

T.K.'s mother, happily, greeted me at the door, informed me of where T.K. was, but told me I was welcome to stay until he got home. I took the invitation, knowing that if I went back home I would probably just lay in bed all day. I took a seat at the counter, his mother went to grab me some orange juice, and she started to ask me about school, and graduation.

It started to get fuzzy. I didn't hear her finish what she was saying, and I went to stand, afraid I was getting sick again. My legs gave out from under me and I felt myself hit the ground. I could feel her footsteps vibrating from the floor, and I felt something wet in between my legs. I looked down to see blood, and thats the last thing I remember before waking up in the hospital.

When I opened up my eyes everything was bright, as they adjusted I saw the tubes connecting me to a machine that was steadily beeping, and Nancy was there sitting next to me.

I started to sit up but she stopped me, "Honey, you need to rest for a bit," She said, softly.

"Why am I here?" I questioned.

I was in denial. I thought, I must have fallen, and hit something to cause the bleeding.

"Did you know you were pregnant?" She asked, frankly.

I replayed the question, and started to panic, she knew about the baby, but she said were, past tense. I started to cry. I tried to keep calm, but the tears just started falling down my cheeks.

"Did T.K. know?" She asked, taking my tears as an affirmative response.

I shook my head no, I tried to calm myself down enough to talk, I took a deep breath before finally responding, "I hadn't figured out how to tell him yet." I said chocking back more tears. "It's gone, isn't it?"

She leaded forward onto her legs, and I couldn't see her face anymore, "It is, you had a miscarriage." She spoke evenly, like she was one of my doctors coming in to tell me the bad news.

I put my hands against my face and started to cry again, but even through all of my sadness, a small part of me was relieved. I hated thinking that, but deep down I knew it was true, we weren't ready to be parents.

"Maybe, it's for the best," Nancy said, quietly.

While I was thinking it, it felt awful to hear it come from her. I know thats so hypocritical, but it's true.

"Does anyone else know I'm here," I asked, as cooly as someone crying can.

"No. I said you were my daughter, I assumed your parents didn't know if I didn't."

I was at least grateful for that.

'What about T.K.?" Even though I asked, I could assume the answer was the same, and she would shield him from this.

"I didn't want him to have to deal with this if he didn't already know."

She was leaving me alone in all of this. It should have been mine and T.K.'s, pain together, but she wasn't going to let that happen.

"Is there anyone that knew, anyone I can call to come be here?" She said, trying to hide that fact that she was looking down at her phone.

I thought about it, who I could share this with, who I could trust, but it didn't feel right to put this information on anyone else.

"No," I said quietly. I was feeling more ashamed by the second, here with her, when it should have been _anyone_ else.

"Are you okay if I go? I can come back, I just want to get home and … clean up before T.K. gets home. I sent him on a bunch of errands, but I know he will be home soon, and he will be asking questions."

Her lack of emotion, or care, was so painful. I think, I know, deep down she was just trying to protect him, but it still hurt all the same. She had never been anything but nice to me the entire time I had known T.K., but now, it was like I was just some random girl he brought home.

"No, it's fine you can go."

She nodded at me, and got up to leave, but stopped at the door. She didn't turn to look at me when she spoke.

"I know it's hard right now, but I think you should think about the future of your relationship with my son, the two of you have clearly proven … to be irresponsible, and while I'm very sorry that this happened, you should look at it as a blessing. The two of you aren't ready for this kind of commitment. I don't want him to end up like his father and I."

I stared at her back in shock, unable to respond. It was like all the words were sitting in my throat, but unable to come out. She walked away when I didn't respond. The tears started coming again and I completely broke down. For the baby we lost, for the mess I had created, and for my unsure future with T.K.

They released me a few hours later, Nancy had left a change of clothes with me, because I always had extra clothes at T.K.'s house. I saw Nancy's, and T.K.'s, last name on my discharge papers, Kari Takaishi. It was like the future, I always hoped for but couldn't have, laughing at me in the face.

When I got home my mother happily greeted me, and it made me feel sick, because life went on for everyone else as if nothing had ever happened.

"You have mail on the counter," She shouted, from the kitchen.

I went over, and grabbed it, before heading into my bedroom. I opened the large envelope without even looking at who sent it. My eyes glanced at the words, only half reading at first, until I fully realized what it was, "Kari Kamiya, we are happy to inform you of your acceptance."

It was a school I had applied to in America, I was put on the waitlist a few months earlier. I never expected to actually get in.

I laid down in bed and thought about my options, I thought about the timing of this letter, and about what I would do every day when I saw T.K., knowing that I couldn't tell him about what happened to me, and to us. That was the night I decided to leave. It would have to be a secret, because I knew if I told anyone they would try to stop me, or at least try to understand why.

The next few weeks were a blur, on the outside, I was a girl excited about graduation, and summer with my friends, and boyfriend, and at home I was franticly planning my escape.

I almost didn't go through with it, the day before I left, T.K. and I had hung out and had the best time, he kept bringing up college and what next year would look like. He was so excited, not just for school, but to be spending the next year with me, there with him. When we said goodbye in my hallway that day, and he kissed me, I kissed him back with everything I had. I loved this boy so much, he was everything I could have ever asked for, and I was selfishly running away, because of some mix of my own fear, and his mothers words. When he turned to walk away I could feel myself start to tear up, if he had turned around I know he would have come running back, and I would have told him everything, but he didn't, and the next day I got on a plane, and left my life behind for a new one.

* * *

She had been done talking for a while, when she grabbed my shaking hands to try and steady them. I looked up at her face, realizing I had been looking down for a long time. She repeated my earlier gesture, reaching out to my face, and wiped away tears that were staining it. I grabbed her hand, and chocked out a sob, before falling into her lap, and crying harder than I had since I was 8-years-old. Everything hurt, my body ached from tensing up, my chest hurt, my head felt like it was going to explode, and I couldn't stop crying.

What I lost, what we lost, was so much more than I had ever imagined. She tried to make my mother sound better, tried to tell me she was only looking out for me, but I was furious with her. She was the adult, not Kari, and she essentially sent her packing, after leaving her alone in the hospital no less!

She didn't leave because she hated me, and I always thought I would somehow feel better knowing it wasn't my fault, but I never anticipated how awful the alternative could be.

I laid down onto the bed and pulled her close. I said I was sorry, over, and over again, every time to her response that it wasn't my fault. We ended up falling asleep like that, wrapped in each other, and in another life it would have been for different reasons.

I woke up before her that morning, feeling dehydrated, and hung over, probably more from crying than from the small amount of drinking we had done at the club. I got out of bed, and grabbed some water, before heading outside onto the balcony. I looked at my phone, and it was only 7am here, but I stared at my mothers number, temped to wake her up. I was so angry with her, I didn't even know what I was, possibly, going to say. I just knew I needed to confront her about this.

I remember her, after Kari left, telling me it would be fine, that I had a whole life ahead of me. Like we had been nothing more than some high school fling. Like she hadn't been the, single, most important person in my life, outside of my family. My jaw started to hurt, I realized I had probably been grinding my teeth all night from the stress.

I heard the door slide open behind me, Kari came and sat on the ground next to me, putting enough space in-between us that it was, almost, awkward.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, looking down at her lap.

"It hurts," I said honestly, "But, I know you did what you thought was right, my mother should have never encouraged you, and left you." I turned and grabbed one of her hands in my own, "I'm sorry you went through that alone. I should have been there with you."

She, silently, nodded. Accepting my apology, knowing there was no business arguing with me.

"Where do we go from here?" She sounded scared as she asked.

I understood her fear though, this was so heavy, and so much bigger of a situation that I ever expected, and it wasn't like I knew for sure how this would affect us moving forward. But, I needed to be optimistic, now there were no more secrets standing in the way of us rebuilding whatever we might have. There was only one thing we could do.

I squeezed her hand, and looked out at the city in front of us, "we move forward."

Part of me was lying though, and that was the part that was clutching my phone, waiting to talk to my mother.

* * *

I looked at my phone again, and scrolled through the numbers, until I reached the one I needed. I hit send, and waited, I half expected voicemail but I should have known better, because I hadn't called since I had been here.

"Hey sweetie! I'm so glad you called! How is everything," her excitement was only making me more angry. I couldn't even respond. I was grinding my teeth again. I tried to take a deep breath to calm myself down.

"T.K.? You there?" Her, concerned, voice came through the phone again.

"Hi, mom," It sounded harsh as it came out of my mouth.

"Is something wrong?" She asked quickly, she always knew right away.

"Guess who's been staying with Matt, and who's on tour?" I asked, sharply.

"What do you mean? T.K. I don't have time-" I cut her off, her tone was gaining annoyance, and I snapped.

" _You_ don't have time? Well, you might want to make time for this conversation, because it's a long time coming." I slurred a bit, I had, a bit, too much to drink in there. I heard a sharp intake of breath on the other side of the phone.

"What is this about, and are you drunk?" She had a defensiveness in her voice, and disappointment.

"That's not important. _I know_ , Mom," It sounded like venom escaping my mouth. She was quiet for a moment.

"T.K., you don't-" I interrupted her again.

"No mom, _stop_. What were you _thinking_? You left her _alone_ in that hospital! Not only did you not call, or tell me, you sent me running around like a fool for you, while you cleaned up, and then you didn't call anyone for her, you just left her there?! Was keeping it a secret from me, really, so important that you would leave her alone, and then tell her it was better that we stop seeing each other? All this time, all these years, I've wondered why? What I did to make her leave like that, and you watched me suffer," I was yelling and on the verge of tears. I had never been so angry with my mother, we always had a good relationship, she was a little overbearing, but this was on another level.

"And you think you were ready for that? Ready to deal with the implications of what happened? Ready to deal with what your life had been if it hadn't happened? Did you want to end up like your father and I?" Now, she was yelling, but I could hear in her voice that she was cracking, she knew what she did wasn't right, no matter the justification.

"News flash, I'll _never_ be, or live _my_ life, like you and dad." I didn't regret it until later. I knew it was a little over the line, but in the moment I didn't care. "I watched our family fall apart, and I remember all of it, I have never planned on reliving it with my own family."

"Oh T.K., as if you can plan for something like that," she said exasperated. "You think I wasn't ever head over heels for your dad? You think it was always stressful? Life happens, things change, and you can't plan for something like that." I could tell that she was starting to cry on the other end, her voice cracking.

"That doesn't mean you take away the chance for me to figure it out on my own, and that doesn't mean you leave Kari alone to deal with it by herself. It was ours, we both lost something that day," I was shaking.

That was the part that got to me the most, that she had to live with this on her own, and she would. Kari was always self sacrificing. We both had the same awful flaw. If Kari thought it was better to shoulder the burden of a problem alone she would, and I was the same, but this was common knowledge. It was something my mother knew, and I felt like she had played off of it.

"T.K." I heard a soft voice call me, I turned around to Kari, and Matt, standing by the door.

"I don't know what you want me to say," my mother's voice came through the phone, she sounded tired, sorry, but she hadn't said the words. I knew I wouldn't hear them today.

"There's nothing you _can_ say," I responded, and hung up the phone.

I started to walk back towards Matt, and Kari, but I just kept going past them. Kari reached out for my arm to stop me.

"I didn't want you and her to fight, I didn't mean for that," she said sadly.

I knew this. It didn't matter.

"After all this time, I would think you would see that it isn't all about what you want, or think is the right choice in this matter." I almost spit the words out, trying to stay angry to keep from crying.

I regretted the words the moment they came out though. I felt her release my arm, and knew if I turned around I would see her, and the hurt from my words would be written all over her face.

I sighed, heavy, "I'm sorry, I, I'm just sorry." I walked away from them, and towards the hotel.

I heard Matt call my name, but ignored him. I needed space from everything. I suddenly felt like it was a mistake that I was here, and I needed to sort it out, alone.

* * *

When I got back to the hotel, that night from the show, I was almost afraid to go back to our room. Sora, and Matt, had offered to switch, but I was going to have to face T.K. at some point, and better in a room alone than on a bus with everyone.

I walked into a dark room, he was laying on the bed facing away from the door, and I assumed he was asleep. I quietly went into the bathroom and got ready for bed. I washed the heavy makeup off my face, and brushed my hair. I put on a pair of shorts, and the same tee shirt, I had discarded from the morning. When I came back out into the room he was laying face up, his eyes opened, staring at the ceiling.

"Sorry if I woke you," I said, softly, and I made my way towards my bed.

"I was awake." He sat up a bit as he spoke.

When I looked at him it made my chest hurt, his eyes were red, and his face downcast. He looked heartbroken. I regretted telling him in that moment, because I hated for him to be in this pain, or any pain. I went to tell him I was sorry, again, but he put his hand up to stop me. He moved over a bit signaling for me to sit. I filled the empty space, pulled my knees to my chest, and held myself.

"I need you to know, that I _never_ would have left your side. If it hadn't happened that way I would have been there for you. I'm so sorry you were alone, and I'm really sorry for snapping at you this morning. I don't want to push you away now, it's the past. It's just, hearing it makes it feel like it's happening right now, I'm mourning our," He paused, I could see him struggling to find the words. "Our baby. And I know you moved on a long time ago, I mean, you spent years with someone else, but, I honestly have no idea where I'm going with this." It was like, he was trying to fit four years of words into five minutes.

"It's okay, please know I don't blame you for anything. I left. I was a coward. I didn't have to listen to your mother, but I did. I was selfish, I thought I was saving you from pain, but now you are experiencing it anyway," I said.

"Maybe we should both stop apologizing," He said, shaking his head, "We could go in circles forever, I should have known, you should have known, but we didn't, and here we are, and we have a second chance. At what? I'm not really sure, but at least we can figure it out," He trailed off quietly.

I thought about his words, ' _a second chance_.' I'm not sure what that meant. Could he still actually have feelings for me after everything I did? And, what about me? If I was honest with myself, I know, I never truly loved Michael. I think deep down, I was punishing myself, I didn't think after what I did to T.K. I deserved to be happy with someone else.

I tried to shake my thoughts away, he was just talking about our friendship, and he couldn't possibly mean anything else.

"We should probably get some sleep," he said.

I nodded, and reluctantly went to go back to my bed.

"You can stay."

The words were so quiet as they came out of his mouth. I didn't know if it was a good idea, but the larger part of me didn't care, and the smaller part was too tired to argue.

I laid down with my back against him, he put one arm around me and pulled me close, we fit like two puzzle pieces. His face was buried in the crook of my neck, and while it should have been so uncomfortable after everything the past few days, it was like everything in that moment was okay. We were alone in the world, and if we stayed still enough, maybe this time, nothing would shatter.

* * *

A/N: Alright everyone, now we all know. Please review and let me know what you think. The next chapter should be out next week, but I'm getting married this weekend! So it's possible it will be a little late but it's almost finished so hopefully not.


	13. Chapter 13

Edited 9/30/18

A/N:Hey everyone! Thank you so much to those that reviewed! I appreciate your feedback and I wanted to comment on T.K.'s mom, just give her some time. I actually don't hate her or think of her as a villain, but I also saw her as extremely over protective and I think the worst of her would come out if she saw her son following down her path. She watched her family fall apart and I think she would never want that for her kids. We will get back around to her later on.

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon or the song "Water Under the Bridge," by Adele.

Spotify: Playlist FF

* * *

 _"And if I'm not the one for you_  
 _You've gotta stop holding me the way you do_  
 _Oh, honey, if I'm not the one for you_  
 _Why have we been through what we have been through?"_

* * *

I woke up early the next morning, sliding my arm gently from underneath Kari's small frame. I looked at her sleeping form, and wished she could always have that look of ease on her face, the way I remembered as kids. It wasn't that we never had problems as children, but there was a lack of fully understanding the gravity of things back then, it was easier to bounce back. I checked my phone and saw a text from Matt asking to meet me before everyone got breakfast. I wrote a note telling Kari where I went and changed my clothes to go meet my brother.

He was sitting in the lobby with a coffee already planted firmly in his hand, thumbing through his phone with the other. I grabbed the coffee out of his hand and took a long drink before sitting down across from him. I took another sip before setting it down on the table between us.

He waved towards the cup, "That was your coffee, I knew you'd just take mine anyway," he then, pulled another cup up from the floor. I, gratefully, grabbed my cup back and settled into the seat.

"How was last night?" He questioned casually. It was almost annoying, his attempt at nonchalance, I was a nightmare yesterday he could just point it out already.

"I apologized to her for the way I acted before the show, we are ok, I think." _Hoped,_ I thought silently.

"Are _you_ going to be ok?" He paused, choosing his words carefully. "I'm serious T.K., I feel like I put you in an awful situation, and you didn't need to find everything out the way you did," I stopped him, realization dawning on me.

"Wait, did you know? All this time?" I felt anger building towards my brother for the first time in a long time.

He placed a hand up to calm me, "I found her at school and confronted her, she lost it, sobbed her story out to me on the steps of her campus. I wanted to tell you but I knew I couldn't do that. We all have our secrets T.K. and it was the biggest one anyone had ever told me, and you know me and mom have issues, so I didn't want to be apart of any of that. She wanted to be the one to tell you eventually. She did it to protect you, and while I know it wasn't the decision I wish she had made, I could see her logic behind it. If you went to Tai with something as devastating I would hope he would be there for you the way I've tried to be there for her. You're my brother, and you'll always come first, but there was something about this that I couldn't be apart of, I never even told Sora."

He got quiet as I thought about that last part. He never kept anything from Sora, and yes there were points growing up that I thought his judgment wasn't the best, but he never gave me a reason not to trust him. I don't know how I would have told him had the roles been reversed. I probably forgave too easy, but what happened in the past didn't matter anymore, and I couldn't move forward if I was just holding grudges.

I shifted, staring down at the cup in my hand, "I mean ... I wish I knew sooner, I wish I hadn't spent years wondering, but I can't change any of it now. Mom's the one I'm angry with, she's the one who made the decision to drive an 18 year-old-girl away from her son, because life got too hard for her to deal with."

We both sat back in silence for a bit. I almost spit the words out, I was so angry with my mother, trying to figure out how you betray your son like that. I've been, nothing if not, overly mature my whole life. There were certain choices I made that I know made her worry, but it was never typical teenage destructive behavior.

He changed the subject without taking about mom, he had a lot of mistrust there but he was always careful not to turn me away from her, even now. "You never answered my first question. Are you going to be ok?"

He looked nervous. He probably thought it was messing up the tour. He wasn't that selfish for it to be his only reason, but I could imagine the thought crossing his mind.

"I mean, it's heavy right now but I think Kari and I will be ok. Like I said, I'm most angry at mom for making the decision she did, but that won't really be weighing over us on the tour, and I'll do my best not to make everything awkward." I finished the rest of my coffee and fiddled with the paper cup in my hands.

"I just mean _you_ , I'm not worried about the stupid tour T.K." He said a little exasperated.

I crumpled the cup in my hands, "I don't know what to think Matt, I was almost a father, and I'm trying to process the loss of something that didn't really exist for me." I threw what was left of the cup onto the table between us and ran my hands across my face. "I thought I fucked up some how, that I did something horrible to drive her away. I walked through those last weeks in my mind over, and over, again looking for an answer, and the one I got was not at all what I had expected. I feel guilty that I wasn't there for her, I think of her sitting alone in a hospital bed and it makes my chest hurt all over again. But, I can be here for her now. I can help her now." He silently finished his own coffee, while mulling over what I had said.

"You still love her." He said, with a smirk.

"Matt," I said scoldingly. "Can she process all the shit she's been through before you throw us back at each other."

He got up to walk away. "You didn't say no." He shouted back as he headed over to where the breakfast was being served.

I couldn't say no, regardless of how much I would have liked to.

* * *

Over the next few weeks things started to settle with everyone. The tour was going well, they were selling out their smaller shows and had been getting some calls about opening for larger bands on their upcoming tours. Matt was elated, it seemed like he finally felt like they were hitting their mark. Him and Colin spent most of their free time writing together. Kari gave a lot of feedback and worked with them on a few things. John was the groups constant cheerleader, he wasn't a writer, he just really loved to play the drums, and the dynamic worked just fine for them. Sora was constantly sketching and working on what would eventually be her first collection. I spent a lot do time writing and working on their marketing materials. I had helped them increase their social media presence in a way I would love to think helped their ticket sales.

The only one who was seemingly out of place was Trevor. He seemed disinterested for the most part during their travel, but played great in all the shows. You'd find him and Matt talking alone every once in a while. Matt, no doubt hovering and making sure he wasn't headed in a bad direction. Kari did her best to include him but there was some distance he put between everyone. I felt like it was getting a bit worse but I didn't feel like I knew him enough to be sure.

We were in the bus most of the time, only staying in hotels every other week or so. Kari and I stayed up late most nights, me scribbling away in my notebook, and her fiddling around with her guitar working on arrangements. We talked a lot, finally, really catching up on the past four years, even about things that may have felt awkward. I talked about dates I had been on, Kari told me how her and Michael first reunited, we made an agreement back in the beginning, before we left the hotel that morning, that we wouldn't have anymore secrets. We thought the best way to move forward with our friendship was to be as open as possible, even if everything wasn't easy to hear.

Kari seemed to be easing up as time went on but she was still a little on edge at their shows, she was sure someone was always watching her. I hated seeing her like that and it worried me that she was so paranoid. I thought about seeing if there was a therapist she could talk to by phone, so she could start to work through some of this, but every time I thought about bringing it up it felt wrong. I'd always wait until she was feeling good and then I was too afraid to bring her back down.

We had gone south first, hitting cities in Arizona, Texas, Louisiana, Georgia and now we were in Florida for a few shows. We had five cities to hit over the next two weeks, but had a break for a few days, so we got a hotel in Jacksonville to relax before our next show, after that we would drive down the coast and hit a few smaller cities before ending up in Miami. After that we would work our way back west for a bit. It felt like it was moving fast but we still had so much to go. I was just grateful for a break from the bus, we all needed a real shower and to do laundry.

Matt and I had been coming back from a walk around our hotel, checking for restaurants and such. He planned to grab Sora, and take her off alone for a bit, and I wanted to see who was ready for dinner.

We walked into Kari and Sora's room to find Kari, and Trevor, laying on the floor with their feet up the wall.

"Um, guys?" Matt questioned.

"Oh hey!" Kari greeted us cheerfully. "It's a yoga pose for stress relief and it's suppose to help with energy," Kari continued, happily, from her spot on the floor.

We shared a look and he shrugged at me before going over, laying on the floor and throwing his legs up the wall too. I followed suit and did the same taking a spot next to Kari.

"Matt are you almost rea..." We heard Sora drift off as she walked in and saw all of us. "Oh, we did this last week on the bus, Matt shove over," John happily said as he came into the room and laid down next to Matt. Sora joined in as well and soon everyone was quietly laying with their feet up the wall.

"So what now?" Matt asked.

"Now you be quiet, and relax!" Trevor snapped.

"You sound _really_ relaxed," Matt quipped back.

"SSSHHH," We all shushed them and they both, quietly, grumbled back into silence.

Kari thumbed around on her phone for a moment before putting on some music. It was actually really relaxing, you wouldn't think such an awkward position could actually make you feel good, and sleepy. I went to stretch my arms out, forgetting Kari was so close and I ended up landing one of my hands next to hers, I grazed her fingers for a moment before going to pull away, but I felt her reach for my hand, so I stopped pulling away, and relaxed into her grasp.

I looked over at her, her eyes were closed and she was facing away from me, still holding on. I wasn't sure what I was thinking in that moment but I slid my fingers between hers. I almost regretted it when she turned her head to look at me. I suddenly felt foolish, the two of us staring at each other, neither giving any sign of what the other is thinking. She closed her eyes again but didn't let go.

We had a moment like this years ago.

* * *

We were doing homework under our tree by the beach, it was where we always met back then. For homework, picnics, or in the middle of the night for comfort after a nightmare. It was like our home base.

She fell asleep doing a reading for literature, the paper lay half discarded in her hand, and she had her head on my lap with me acting as her pillow. I gently brushed some hair away that had fallen into her face. I pulled the paper fully out of her hand, and as I did she grasped onto my own. I didn't move or breathe for a moment. I didn't want to look down, afraid of if she had woken up or not.

I realized I had fallen for her a few months earlier, finally caving into what our friends had been telling us for years, I'd been so carful to keep it hidden though.

The last guy she had been with was the only one I was ever threatened by. He was a nice guy, smart, charming, and everything she deserved. For once, everyone in the group actually liked him too. I found myself wanting to be snide, I tried to find anything wrong with him, but always coming up with nothing.

It was actually Davis who finally pointed it out. "Oh my god, you're finally jealous of someone!" He laughed at me for about three minutes before he realized I was actually horribly conflicted. I'd never had a reason to be jealous of anybody, there was always something wrong with them, and in the back of my head I knew they wouldn't last.

"Just tell her how you feel man, you know she will _always_ choose you," Davis said to me happily, as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

Then again, he had told her he had a crush on her about one hundred times so maybe for him it was that easy. "Davis, we are just frie-," He cut me off.

"Dude, knock it off, I'm done listening to you about that. You guys both like each other, hell you are probably in love with each other. It's almost annoying how long this has gone on for. You are gonna lose her if you wait too long." When he finished talking he went right back to the soccer video he was watching and I was left in my own, stunned, silence. He was right, I did like her and I was horrified by the idea of losing her.

Ironically, the very next day she told me they had broken up, never giving me a reason just saying things didn't work out. I fell back into the safety of our friendship knowing it was preserved for the moment.

Now, here she was, literally in my lap holding onto my hand, and I was frozen solid. After another minute of her hand awkwardly laying in my own I bravely slide my fingers between hers. I relaxed a bit, and tried to enjoy the moment, before she inevitably woke up and I'd have to explain myself.

"You asked me, a while ago, why things didn't work out with Touma," Her gentle voice jolted me back to reality. What she said slowly registered, but I was too afraid to look at her.

"You didn't," I replied softly.

"He asked me what would happen if you and him ever had a disagreement. If he would ever have a chance at me siding with him. I didn't respond right away … but I didn't even have to think for a moment about it. It's always going to be you that I side with. It's always going to be you that I choose over anyone else." She sat up and leaned her head against my chest, still holding onto my hand. "If you don't feel the same way I'll understand, we've always said we were just friends but somewhere along the way it became a lie for me, and I don't want to lie to you right now, or ever."

She still had her head buried into my chest. I couldn't figure out what to say. She just said everything I could have wanted to hear. I lifted her chin with my free hand and gazed at her flushed face, her eyes were unsure, which was crazy to me, because there was nothing at the moment I was more sure of then how I felt about her. I lowered my face to meet her own and kissed her then.

We weren't each others first kiss but that short moment with her would always be the best one.

* * *

After another minute she started to direct us out of the pose, she had us roll onto our right side, and to do so I had to pull away from her. As we all sat up, rubbing our eyes and yawning, the room broke out into quiet chatter about dinner, and whether or not we were doing anything that night. Everyone agreed on a place to eat and started clearing out of the room to get ready. I was still in a daze, but my memories made me brave.

I waited until the room had cleared before turning back to Kari, "Let's get dinner."

She tilted her head to the side with a confused gaze in her eyes, "We _are_ going to dinner." She said it so sweet, like I hadn't been listening to anyone for the last five minutes.

"No, I mean _us_." I leaned back against the door, forcing myself not to look down, or fidget. I didn't want to look unsure about it.

She looked taken aback for a moment, maybe I'd read what just happened wrong. But than again, we had gotten food just the two of us numerous times over the last few weeks, but the way I asked now was different, and she understood that.

She looked sad for a moment, but seemed to shake herself out of it, "Tomorrow?" She asked.

I mirrored her head tilt from a minute ago, confusion now evident in my face.

"Everyone just spent five minutes trying to agree on something and I just don't want to be rude … because they went with my suggestion." I didn't recall if that was true, I'd spent the time they were talking debating in my head if this was a good idea.

"It's ok we don't have to, no worries," I turned to leave feeling foolish. It was too fast I should have known better, a few weeks ago I was telling Matt to slow down his idea of the two of us, and now here I was trying for myself.

I felt her grab onto my arm and slid her hand down to mine again, I didn't dare turn around.

"Tomorrow, just us." She said it, it wasn't a question.

I turned around and ended up closer to her than I expected to be. I looked down searching her eyes, maybe for pity, I didn't want her to feel like we _had_ to do anything. What if I pushed her too quickly? I looked down further to our intertwined hands and rubbed my thumb over the top of her hand, she didn't flinch or jolt.

"Ok, tomorrow," I agreed softly.

I reluctantly released her hand to go get ready for dinner with everyone else. We didn't say anything else as we parted. I left her room and stood in the hallway for a moment.

We had a date.

I think.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading! Sorry about the delay the wedding took a lot out of me. So I kind of wanted to split this chapter up but I felt like two really short chapters was just silly. I know this chapter was super fluffy but think of this as the calm before the storm. Things are about to get pretty chaotic again. Please review and let me know what you think!


	14. Chapter 14

Edited 9/30/18

Hey everyone! Lets get back to it.

Spotify - FF Playlist

Disclaimer - I do not own Digimon or the song Out of the Woods by Taylor Swift

* * *

 _"We were built to fall apart, then fall back together."_

* * *

I was staring at myself in the mirror for the third time that night, I picked up a makeup remover and wiped my face clean for the second time. I walked back into the room and pulled the shirt I had on over my head. Nothing felt right, it all looked too dressy, or too casual, or too dramatic. "Ugh," I fell backwards onto my bed dejected. Maybe this wasn't a good idea.

I hear the door handle turn and looked up to see Sora come in, "I mean, you just gonna skip dinner and stay in?" she asked, with a suggestive wink.

I felt my face flush. I was just in a pair of shorts and my bra. "Sora!" I scolded. "Let's everyone slow down on this, it's just dinner."

She gave me a knowing glance and shook her head a bit. I pulled my shirt back on for the time being.

"What's the problem," she questioned, as she sat next to my slumped body on the bed.

"Nothing I have seems appropriate. All my clothes are either too casual, or too extreme for dinner." Her eyes lit up a bit as I said this.

"Hang on," she said, as she got up and started to rummage through some of her things. After a minute she walked over with a bag and handed it to me. I looked inside and recognized the light pink dress from the day I took T.K. shopping in the city.

"He gave it to me to give to you way back when the tour started but I never felt like it was the right time. Tonight seems like a good time though!" She said, happily.

It was a pretty, light, little slip dress that would be good for the heat we were in at the moment. It looked like something I would have worn in another life, I felt a little sad looking at it. It didn't feel like me anymore. I couldn't picture it hanging in my closet with all the black and navy clothing I'd collected over the past year.

Sora saw the change in my demeanor, "What's wrong hun?" She asked, kindly.

"What if he's just looking at the past and hoping for that again?" I placed the dress on the bed, trying to picture myself in it, trying to picture a life that could have been.

"Wait," She placed her hand up between us with a pained look on her face. "Do you not want this to be a date situation, because I think that's what he thinks." She said.

"No … I mean yes. I mean, UGH! I don't know what we are doing. Are we crazy for even doing this? It all feels a little insane after everything that's happened in the past few months. I guess I'm just worried he thinks time didn't change anything, didn't change _us_." I sat back down, nervously picking at my cuticles, avoiding her gaze.

"All that from a dress, huh?" She sounded amused but none of it felt funny. "So, I've loved Matt since I was 12-years-old," She paused, as I looked up at her surprised. "I've been _in_ love with him since I was 16-years-old. Since then it's changed, it looks differently now, because of the life we've built together. When I moved out here it was different than it had been back home, I was worried for a while that we may have lost something because we had grown differently in that time spent apart, but time apart is exactly why we are still together. We were able to grow on our own and become our own people. Yes, our life is together, but if he needed to leave me for 8 months on a tour or something we would be okay, because we are our own people and can handle life on our own. I don't know if it would be that way if we hadn't had that time. If you and T.K. hadn't broken up you would have went to college, graduated, gotten jobs, had kids, you would have checked all the boxes you were suppose to check, and ten years later you may have looked back and realized you never actually lived your lives. You leaving him, abet as harsh of a way to go as it was, might be the thing that makes you end up together, if that's what you want."

Her logic did make sense for her and Matt, but I didn't know if it could be the same for us. It was just hard because of the extra baggage my time away came with. I felt like damaged goods at this point, a broken doll you kept because of sentimental value, but little else. There were still moments I would flinch if someone reached out too quickly, still assuming there would be pain attached at the other end.

She interrupted my self deprecation, "How long have you loved T.K.," I thought about the question and how she had phrased it earlier.

"Since I was 8-years-old," I replied.

"How long have you been _in_ love with him?" She asked.

It didn't feel fair. How could I be in love with him now, still? If I was with someone else, that admittedly I don't think I ever truly loved, but still. Everything had been so easy these past few weeks. I felt like I had my best friend back. We had a lot of late nights that we would spend awake just being in each others space, him writing and me working on arrangements. Other nights, we would talk about school and our friends, we caught up on every little detail of each others lives. It was the first time I felt truly connected to someone again.

I took a shaky breath, "Since I was 17," I said honestly.

She smiled. "Then remember what I said, it's suppose to change. You don't have to be who you were then, he didn't ask that girl out, he asked this one." She plucked the dress off the bed and grabbed the iron, and ironing board, to get all the wrinkles out.

I went into the bathroom and started to reapply my makeup. I put on lotion and a finishing power, and then drew a thin line on my eye lid, with a winged tip, and put on a few layers of mascara. It's what I did on any normal day. I straightened my hair a bit to get the kinks out and went to get dressed. Maybe Sora was right, this didn't have to be stressful. Everything up until this point had felt easy, just like it always use to. I didn't need to built it up into something else.

* * *

I knocked lightly on Kari's hotel room door and adjusted my shirt. I was having conflicting feelings about tonight. Part of me was worried about things moving too quickly, but at the same time, I also felt like I just wanted to know where we were and what the possibilities were. The past several weeks almost felt like we were together and it was confusing as I was trying to navigate our rekindled friendship. It's like we were right back to where we were during high school.

She appeared at the door, and said goodbye to Sora, before turning to me. She looked beautiful, just like always. She was in the dress I had gotten for her weeks earlier, almost no makeup on her face, and her hair straight and down.

"Hey," Her voice was cheery as she shut the door behind her. "You look nice," She finished, before walking ahead of me towards the elevator.

I wore the blue shirt she picked out from that same trip, it was always the right choice to wear a blue shirt for her, I thought, as a smile tugged at the corners of my mouth.

"Thanks, nice dress," I said, teasing her. She looked back and stuck her tongue out at me.

"Thank you, You didn't have to do that," She replied.

"It was worth it. It suits you."

"You don't think it looks too much like I'm trying to play myself from six years ago?"

The brightness she'd had a moment ago was replaced with sadness. I reached out for her as we stopped to wait for the elevator.

"You were beautiful six years ago. You are beautiful now. You were beautiful yesterday. You could wear a sack and it wouldn't matter," The elevator saved me, from her seeing my face heat up. I caught her smile though as we walked in.

"Thank you," She replied softly.

The rest of the ride was spent in a comfortable silence. We started casually chatting again, once we left the hotel, and headed for the restaurant. It always surprised me how easy it was to still find things to talk about even though we were, literally, spending about sixteen hours a day together.

The restaurant was quiet and dimly lit. I tried to find a place that didn't seem like it would be too crowded, with her still being anxious in the large crowds during shows, I figured it would be nice to get a quiet night where she didn't need to be constantly looking over her shoulder. I let her order us a bottle of wine and we got a few smaller plates to share so we could try a bunch of different things.

College came up again, it seemed to be our go to if there was ever a lull in the conversation, since it was the only time we missed in each others lives.

"Favorite moment?" I questioned.

"My favorite moment?" She asked back.

"Yea like the absolute best thing that happened, or the thing you look back at and smile the most about."

She took a sip of wine and pondered my question, a dreamy look crossed her face. "The first time I went into the city with school we went to go see the New York sat up high in one of the balcony seats, you know how I hate heights and normally I'd be so afraid, but not there." She let her glass sit back on the table, as she rested her chin in one of her hands, and closed her eyes. She had this way of getting lost in her own stories, taking herself right back to that place.

"I never truly appreciated classical music until that moment. The music would swell and my heart would beat faster, it felt so big, so important. Like, if it wasn't for _this_ music I wouldn't get to perform the way I did." She opened her eyes as a smile grew across her face, she leaned forward, "When we left the theater and stood in Rockefeller Center I looked up at all the buildings around me, and the sky, and felt so overwhelmed with possibility," She paused for another drink. "There in the middle of the pavement I laid down on the ground and looked up. I felt home for the first time since I had gotten to America. Not being from the country, I felt like an outsider a lot at the beginning of school, but New York felt like it belonged to all of us, even the outsiders." She stopped, sitting back into her seat, and looked sad for a moment. "Then Michael was standing over me and said, 'Get up Kari you're embarrassing me.'" She rolled her eyes and threw her hands up. "Isn't that insane, that really was my favorite moment and he even had to go and ruin that."

"I'm sorry," every story she had was similar. They all started out simple enough, but he was always there to make a snide comment, or pull her away from her friends. I had hoped she had at least one story he wasn't in but it didn't seem so. He was everywhere.

"Don't be," She waved off my apology. "It was such a lovely night and I wouldn't trade it even if it meant he would have never said it. That was the night I fell in love with New York, he can't take that, even if he ruined one moment in an otherwise perfect night. Tell me yours?"

I sat back and thought for a moment. I didn't have many fun stories, or exciting days, I mostly just studied and wrote. There was one thing I was proud of though.

"I guess, I had this class my junior year. It was a feature writing course, and the entire semester was spent on one story. It was suppose to be something big, like something you would find in a magazine, it was meant to teach us how to find something of human interest that would also be considered newsworthy." I paused trying to be carful of the way I explained it.

"There had been a fire recently in one of the high rises in town and one of the families lost everything. Firefighters had to pull the youngest son, Haru, out of the apartment, after the family had to leave him behind, because the smoke was too thick. He just barely made it, he was a fighter though, making a full recovery after a few months. Their friends had fundraisers for them, children from the Haru's school donated clothing, toys, and books to the family. The community really rallied around them. I spent time with them, their neighbors, the school, and Haru. I spent weeks going through those interviews to try to get the story right. I wanted to show how important community was, in a world where we seem to be growing further and further apart."

Ya know," I paused for a drink, thinking back to that time, Haru, and his family. It made me miss everyone we'd grown up with and the community we built around each other. "Technology gives us the ability to talk from across the world, but we don't have the same connection to our surrounding community we once did. My professor ended up sending out my story to a few publications and I ended up getting published in one of the local papers. He was the one who gave me the advice not to write for a daily publication, he said I would waste away, that I was meant to tell stories, not to simply write facts. It was the first time in a long time I felt like I had some sort of direction while in school, and it was when I realized I missed telling stories. I started writing again after that for myself after not doing so in a few years. If I ever publish anything else I'll have him to thank."

"Wait, I'm sorry, you were published in college and somehow left that out of every conversation we've had?" She gave me a look that said, 'you're ridiculous.' "Do you have a copy of it somewhere?"

"The story? I mean, I think it's on my computer, I have the clippings back home somewhere at my moms." I said, trying to think of where I may have packed those away.

"I'd love to read it if you can find it," she said, looking proud.

I didn't like to brag about myself, but it was something I worked really hard on, and I never really talked about it with anyone else. It felt good that she was interested.

She held out the bottle to me, "You can have the rest," I said. She poured the rest of the wine in her glass and took another sip.

"I have another question," I was feeling bold at the moment, and needed to use it to my advantage while I still had it.

She looked up through her lashes, her eyes responding to my question, asking me to continue.

"What made you say yes to tonight?" I asked, nervously.

* * *

I thought about his question. It seemed silly. Why wouldn't I say yes, but than again it could have set us up for an awkward situation if the night went badly.

"I could never really say no to you." He gave me a strange look, it was almost sheepish, or ashamed even. "Not in a bad or possessive way," I said to ease his mind. I was fumbling, fuzzy from the wine. "It's just, it was always so easy to say yes. I knew you were never going to steer me wrong. I've always trusted your judgement one hundred percent."

He mulled this over as I spoke, but it wasn't what I wanted to say, and I knew it wasn't what he wanted to hear. I was so afraid. It felt too soon, and we both knew it, but at the same time we never abided by what anyone else thought our relationship was suppose to be, so why should we now?

"I'm not sure what we are doing," I finally said, honestly. "It feels fast, but … how can it be fast when we already know everything about each other. I just..." I didn't know how to explain what I was feeling, but as usual I didn't have to with him. I felt him slide his hand over mine, I laced my fingers in between his, and he rubbed his thumb over the top of my hand.

"No one needs to make any decisions this second. I was just curious." He was right, I didn't need to make any big proclamations. Who knows what would happen in the next few months.

We walked back to the hotel slowly, he had his arm around my shoulders and mine was around his waist, had I seen another couple walking the same way I would have rolled my eyes. Yet, here we were, wrapped around each other like kids again. When we got to the hotel we broke apart, the silence felt a little heavy once we were inside. We hovered in front of his door for a moment, before he fiddled his key card out of his pocket and put it into the door. He opened it, and peaked in, I assume looking for Matt.

He turned back to me, "Wanna come in for a bit?" It wasn't suggestive, the way he said it, but it still felt like it might be after our 'date.' Still, I found myself following him into the hotel room he was sharing with his brother, who was probably in my room anyway, so … better here than there.

He collapsed rather dramatically onto his bed, "You okay there?" I asked, amused.

"Yea, honestly, it's just nice to be in here without Matt, anxiously, doing something," He laughed a bit, "He's excited, and happy, but also in this weird, constant, state of high functioning stress. I'm not sure if it's the tour in general, or what, but it's a little excessive sometimes."

I sat next to him on the bed, scanning through my memories from the tour so far, trying to remember how Matt had been acting. He had been a tad high strung but I figured it was just the tour, but T.K. probably wouldn't have mentioned it if it was normal behavior.

"I'm sure it's nothing. I wouldn't worry," He said, easily reading the concern on my face. I turned to face him as he was starting to sit up, wen ended up closer than I expected.

"You're probably right," I said, quietly, only half aware of the words as they left my mouth.

His hand came up to the edge of my hair, he played with the ends between his fingers, "I don't know why I even brought it up," his voice was horse as he spoke.

I was trying to focus on the conversation and not his fingers in my hair, but between that and the wine, I wasn't succeeding."It's fine, I would be concerned too." I replied, after far too long.

His hand moved to my face, I leaned into it as he tilted my chin up, and moved closer.

"ROOM SERVICE," came a loud voice from the other side of the door, accompanied by a loud knocking.

He rested his forehead against mine, "Did you order anything?" He questioned, curiously.

"No," I said, equally confused.

The knocking came again against the door. He huffed, polite as ever, and got up to answer the door. I immediately missed the warmth of him being so close to me.

 _So much for taking our time,_ I thought seriously.

He opened the door, and the hotel employee handed him an envelope, "This was asked to be delivered to your room asap. Sorry if I disturbed you." He, quickly, turned and walked away. T.K. walked into the room with a manila envelope in his hands.

"Were you expecting something?" I asked.

"No, I mean, I don't know who would leave anything for me, and it wasn't shipped because there isn't any postage or anything," He opened the envelope and pulled out what looked like Polaroid pictures. He flipped through them looking more, and more, concerned with each one.

"What's wrong," I asked. The look on his face was starting to scare me.

He didn't respond, as if in an angry daze from the pictures. He got to a piece of paper and read it before turning to the desk slamming everything down onto it.

I stood up and moved closer to him, "T.K. what is it," I reached out for him.

"No," He was shaking with anger, his voice was a mix of fear, and fury. I immediately backed away, he never spoke to me with any sharpness in his voice and I couldn't imagine what had made him change his demeanor so quickly.

"Should I go," my voice was shaky as I spoke.

He turned quickly and saw the fear in my eyes. His features softened, and he reached out to me, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," I let him wrap his arms around me. He held me tight, tighter than normal, as if he let go I would disappear.

"T.K. what's in the envelope?" My voice didn't sound as strong as I wish it had. I was horrified by whatever could change his attitude so suddenly.

As he pulled away I could see the strain in his face, the way he clenched his jaw, and the pain in his eyes.

"I don't want to scare you, but I also can't keep it from you," he paused, pulling me close to him again. "After I show it to you I'm suggesting that we call the police. You might argue with me, but I don't know how to keep you safe from this," He voice was wavering, and I could tell he was holding onto me to keep from shaking, whether it was from fear, or anger, I couldn't tell. I hadn't seen him frightened like this since we were young. I felt my heart beating fast, I was almost in a panic, and I didn't even know what those photos were.

He turned around and handed me the small pile of photos. They were all of us from tonight, at dinner, holding hands, walking back to the hotel. I looked up at him curiously. He handed me the paper.

"You might think you can just swoop in, and reclaim something you think once belonged to you, but thats not how the game is going to work. You can look but you can't touch. You can wish but you can't have. She's branded. She's spoken for. It seems as if you need an example of the kind of person you are dealing with. I'll send a message. You'll know it's me when it comes."

The letter wasn't signed but I didn't need it to be. Michael was more of a psychopath than I ever imagined him to be. I was shaking and felt sick to my stomach. I saw T.K. had more photos in his hand that he hadn't handed me.

"Give them to me," it came out as a whisper, I was afraid to speak, like he was listening to us right now.

He reluctantly handed them to me.

I would have fallen to the ground had he not gone to steady me. The photos were of me sleeping in various hotel rooms while on tour, Sora was in some of them as well. I dropped the photos out of my hand and ran into the bathroom, I lurched into the toilet, sobbing after I had emptied the contents of my stomach.

He was stalking me. He was stalking all of us.

* * *

Back into the Drama. I hope you didn't think we had seen the last of Michael ... Let me know what you think. I've tried uploading and editing this chapter about three times and each time I lost it from an internet glitch so please forgive me if this one is a little rushed I just need to step away form it and move on for now. I may come back and re-edit it later.


	15. Chapter 15

Edited 9/30/18

I don't own Digimon or the song "A Place for my Head," Linkin Park.

Spotify - Playlist FF

* * *

 _"Maybe someday I'll be just like you  
And step on people like you do and  
Run away the people I thought I knew  
I remember back then who you were  
You used to be calm, used to be strong  
Used to be generous but you should've known  
That you'd wear out your welcome  
And now you see how quiet it is, all alone"_

* * *

I was exhausted.

I had been sitting in an interrogation room for hours and I hadn't been asleep for almost an entire day at this point. We thought we were doing what was best for everyone when we called the police, I don't think any of us expected them to turn it around and try to pin it on me.

 **4 HOURS EARLIER**

I sat down behind Kari in the bathroom, the tile floor was cold and sobering. Kari jerked a bit, startled, as I placed my hand on to her back and set a glass of water down next to her.

"I'm sorry," she said, in a shaky voice.

It broke my heart. Everything that was happening to her, and again, she was sorry.

"Kar, you can't be sorry. Nothing is your fault. I need you to understand that," I pulled her back against my chest, and put my arms around her. "We have to call the police, ok?" She answered with a nod.

"Can you give me five minutes?" She asked quietly.

I obliged, helping her up off the floor. I left the bathroom, closed the door behind me, and immediately started pacing the room. I felt restless and angry. All I could think about was what I wanted to do to Michael once I found him. I knew he was an absolute prick, but I didn't realize how much of a sociopath he really was. I couldn't believe he was following us, but deep in her mind she knew this whole time, all her paranoia was understandable now.

"T.K., open up!" Matt's shout, and frantic knocking, came from the other side of the door. I looked towards the bathroom but Kari didn't budge. I tried to quietly open the door, but Matt came barging in, he quickly closed the door behind me and pulled out his phone. Without a word he held up his text screen with a message from a random number, "Your brother doesn't seem to understand boundaries, how about you have a conversation with him before I test some of yours." Under the text was one of the photos of Kari and Sora sleeping.

I looked up at my brother and he had just as much anger shining in his eyes as I did, but there was fear in them too. It was fear I hadn't seen since we were children. I picked the letter up off the table and handed it to him, his eyes widened as he read the threatening letter and saw the photos on the table.

"Holy shit," he said, dropping the letter from his hands.

"We agreed to call the police. I'm just waiting for her to come out," I motioned to the bathroom. "Does Sora know about the text?" I asked.

Matt shook his head, "No, not yet. How the hell could he be getting into the rooms T.K.? The pictures of you in public ... are easy enough but the ones of them sleeping? That's insane, Sora always locks the bolt, and there isn't a way to get in unless he's scaling the damn building."

He had a point, it didn't make any sense for someone to be breaking into their room at night. We heard the bathroom door click and Kari walked out, face washed clean and her hair pinned back. She was surprised to see Matt and gave me a fearful glance, stepping back a bit. I picked up his phone and showed her the text. There was no point in hiding anything from her.

"Shit," She put his phone down on the desk, her hands shaking as she did, "Matt, I'm so sorry you are involved in all of this, T.K. you too." Her eyes glazed over.

"You didn't put us into anything," I said, placing my hands on her shoulders. "They wanted you here. I wanted to be here. I _want_ to be here." She nodded in understanding.

"T.K. is right Kari, I mean, we knew he was a scum bag, but I don't think any of us knew he was certifiably insane," Matt said.

"Near the end, I had my thoughts that he might be some sort of megalomaniac, but he spent so much time gaslighting me that I honestly had trouble figuring out what wasn't normal. He had me convinced of how things were suppose to work in 'his' world, like it was somehow different because he was famous. He always told me the rules weren't the same, but he's just making up his own rules, he's fucking sick." She turned back towards the desk, pushing the photos around, and looking closely at a few.

"But, how did he get in here?" She questioned, more to herself than to us, echoing our question from earlier.

It was the part that didn't add up. He was crazy but he wasn't some sort of super spy. Suddenly her eyes got wide she started frantically looking around the room.

"Kari, what are you doing?" I asked concerned. She ignored me, picking up a few of the photos of Sora and her asleep. She looked from them to the room before going over to where the TV was. She started feeling around the back of it, "Son of a bitch," she whispered. She pulled something harshly from the top of it and tossed it to Matt.

"You've got to be kidding me," Matt said, examining the small device in his hand. "He bugged the room," He said, amazed.

"He's probably got them in all the rooms, he must be having someone do it before we are checking in." She looked almost relieved. I guess it was better then someone actually sneaking into the rooms at night.

"You think?" Matt questioned.

She looked between the two of us, uneasy, and unsure, "I found cameras in our room before I left him."

Her voice didn't leave room for questions, and I don't think either of us wanted to make her revisit what that may have meant.

"I think we need to tell the others and call the police now, they can go through the other rooms and look, maybe they can find something they can track back to him," Matt had grabbed his phone, ready to text everyone. It was late, but knowing them, it was likely they would all still be up. Kari nodded to him and he sent it out.

We spent the next twenty minutes explaining everything to everyone. Sora was horrified, she pointed out the fact that if he had photos of them sleeping, he obviously had photos of them changing as well. It was the thing none of us wanted to bring attention to. The guys were trying to stay calm for the girls sake but John, more than anyone, looked like he was ready to punch a hole in the wall. He paced, mumbling to himself about what he was going to do when he saw Michael again. Colin sat quietly in the corner of the room, and Trevor was curiously attached to his phone. It was strange because he barely ever used the thing, but I wasn't going to call him out right now.

The police showed up shortly after we gathered everyone. They introduced themselves as Officer Carter, and Officer Evans. Everyone, except for Kari and I, was directed to leave the room and wait down in the lobby. They had asked me to leave as well but, at her insistence, I was able to stay. We gave them a run down of our night and showed them the letter, photos, and camera. We explained that we thought there were more cameras. They asked Kari the nature of her relationship with Michael, so she explained how long they had dated and that there was abuse in the relationship, she didn't get too specific at the time. We took them around to each room and unsurprisingly they found a camera in each one, they bagged them as evidence.

We thought that would be it for the night, so we were surprised when they asked Kari and I to go to the station with them so they could ask us some more questions.

"Can it wait until the morning? It's almost midnight and we could both use some sleep after all of this," I asked them, tiredly.

"I would think you would want us to get to the bottom of this as soon as possible?" Carter, said accusingly.

I was caught off guard. "Of course," I responded.

Kari shot me a concerned glance. I tried to reassure her by taking her hand, but something felt off to me as well. Matt asked if they should come with us but the officers assured him that wouldn't be necessary.

We rode in their unmarked SUV to the station and once we got there we were immediately separated. They said it was protocol to get our full statements individually. I explained that we gave our full statement back at the hotel, but they asked me to give it again in as much detail as possible. Then they asked for it again, and once more. I started to become agitated, I was worried about Kari, and it had been about an hour since we were separated.

"I feel like I've told you everything you could need to know, can I please see Kari?"

I was less polite than I typically would have been, but I had been up since seven, and it was edging on one in the morning at this point.

"What's the nature of your relationship with Kari?" Carter asked me, curiously.

"We've known each other since we were 8-years-old. I'm not sure what that has to do with any of this."

"Have you ever been jealous of her relationships with other men?" He continued.

"We just reconnected after not seeing each other in about four years, so no, not in recent memory," I was getting annoyed. I didn't understand where this line of questioning could possibly be coming from.

"And with Michael? You never felt, irritated, with their relationship?" Carter questioned.

"I'm sorry but why would I be jealous of someone who beat their girlfriend for almost a year?"

"Would you do anything you could to keep the two of them apart?" He leaned forward across the table, taunting me.

"What are you getting at?" I was done. This was ridiculous.

"We are just wondering what lengths you might go to to convince her to stay away from her ex. boyfriend," Evans said casually, leaning against the wall near the door, before exiting and leaving me alone with Carter.

I opened my mouth to respond but closed it once I realized what was happening. They thought I did this, I was a suspect.

* * *

Evans came into the room and handed me a glass of water, "How are you holding up Miss Kamiya?" He spoke gently as he sat across from me. We were in, what I can only assume, was an interrogation room.

"I'm tired," I wasn't sure how else to explain how I felt. I was exhausted, and needed sleep, but I was also tired of needing to look over my shoulder all the time. All of my paranoia had been solidified tonight.

"I understand, and I'll try to make this quick. Can you tell me everything again with as much detail as possible?"

I took a breath and walked him through our entire night again. It seemed so excessive, after we told them everything at the hotel, but I thought maybe we needed to be here in person for it to be official.

"Can I ask how long you dated Michael for?"

"A little over three and a half years."

"You said he was violent with you?" He scribbled in his notebook as he spoke.

"Yes, for most of the last year that we dated." It was hard to say everything out loud to a stranger but at the same time it felt good, liberating. I should have done this months ago.

"And before that your relationship was good?"

I paused for a moment and tried to think of a time when things were good. In the beginning he showered me with gifts, and compliments, but at the same time he was constantly trying to change me. First it was my hair, then my makeup, my friends, my weight, and how I was dressing. He was insanely jealous, and at first I'll admit he made it seem charming, as if I was so special that he was always afraid of losing me. He tore me apart so slowly that by the time I realized what kind of situation I was in I didn't know how to get out of it.

"I mean, he seemed nice in the beginning, but looking back he was always trying to break me down in some way or another," I said, honestly.

"Why didn't you leave, if your relationship wasn't good, or you felt threatened?" He was looking down at his pad waiting to write my answer, but my mouth was hanging open. He looked up at me expectantly.

"I, I mean, he essentially had me believing he was the only one who would ever care about me. In the beginning, I felt special that someone like him would choose someone like me, but he degraded me, verbally abused me, and then found a way to blame it all on me. I was convinced that he was mean because of things I did. Once he started hitting me, then the threats came, and I was afraid of what would happen if I left, until I was eventually afraid of what would happen if I stayed any longer." I fiddled with the glass of water sitting in front of me. I was becoming uncomfortable with the line of questioning, and I wished T.K., or Sora were here with me.

He changed the subject from Michael, "What's the nature of your relationship with Mr. Takaishi?"

"We've been friends since we were kids?" I questioned, curiously.

"Have the two of you ever been intimate?" He asked evenly.

"Excuse me?" I was caught off guard. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Because, I think it's relevant to the situation so please answer my question." He persisted.

"We dated at the end of high school, but broke up before college," I tried to give as little detail as possible.

"And now?" He continued.

"And now we are friends," I said stubbornly.

"You were on a date tonight were you not?"

"Once again, I'm not sure what the nature of our relationship has to do with my lunatic ex. boyfriend stalking my friends, and I." My head was starting to pound, and I started to get this empty, painful, feeling in my chest.

"Would you say Mr. Takaishi would go to great lengths to keep you away from your ex.?" He pushed.

"T.K. doesn't have to go to great lengths because _I_ want to keep away from him." I said, firmly.

"That doesn't answer my question. Would T.K. go out of his way to keep you away from Michael?" He said, placing his pen down for the first time, and looked up at me.

I was about to speak but stopped myself. This wasn't right.

"What are you trying to get at?" I asked.

"Kari, It is much more likely that someone close to you is doing this and not someone, busy on the set of a television show, thousands of miles away. No offense, but why does he need to stalk his old girlfriend when he could probably have his choice of girls. Where as, it seems like Mr. Takaishi would have his own personal reasons to make you more frightened of Michael. We've seen this kind of thing before, someone creates a situation where they can be the _hero-"_

I cut him off, "I'm sorry, but this is insane. T.K. isn't trying to be a hero, and no one could make me anymore afraid of Michael, than Michael himself. He beat the shit out of me, multiple times. He put me in the hospital. He threatened me repeatedly." My rant was cut short when his partner came into the room with us.

"It seems like he's cracking," Carter said to Evans.

"Cracking from what? He didn't do anything?" I spit the words out.

"Not to be rude, but if your relationship was as bad as you say with Michael then how are we to be sure that it's any better with T.K.? Who's to say your judgment isn't clouded?" Evans questioned, almost mockingly.

The empty feeling continued to grow, my chest was getting tighter, and I felt myself start to panic. It was everything I ever feared about going to the police. I felt like I was being blamed for being with Michael, and now T.K. was becoming a scapegoat. This couldn't be happening. I had been so tired a few minutes ago, but I suddenly felt wide awake. It hit me in that moment that this _couldn't_ possibly be happening, not because it wasn't actually happening, but because there was no way that this was how the line of questioning could normally go.

I took a deep breath, calming myself as much as possible. "How much did Michael pay you?"

They didn't seem startled, but Evans eyes shifted just enough that I knew I was right.

"I'm not sure you meant to just imply what you just did." Carter said.

"I meant exactly what I said. I know how he operates, this was all part of it wasn't it? This was all an attempt to cast doubt onto T.K.'s character, but it's insane, because what you are trying to imply would never be true. Michael is stalking me, or rather, he is paying someone to do it for him. That's the truth, and you can't sit here, and ridiculously try to convince me different." My voice was strong but I was scared. I knew I had to be firm though.

"It's getting late and you are both tired. Like I said, I think he's going to crack, a tired man will confess a lot of things he wouldn't normally," Carter smiled at me, and pulled Evans up to his feet. I didn't have a chance to respond before they exited the room leaving me locked in there alone.

I placed my head onto the table, and held my eyes shut tight, I couldn't cry in here. I didn't want to break down, but I was faltering. The burst of energy I had left when they exited the room. I closed my eyes trying to think of how to get T.K. out of here.

* * *

I was jolted awake by something hitting the front of my head. I placed my hand to my forehead and realized they must have lifted the table to shake me awake. I looked up at the clock, it was just after four in the morning. I must have fallen asleep some time after Carter left the room. He had been trying to catch me in a lie before he left. Asking me the same questions over, and over, again waiting for my story to change. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. The last thing I said to him was to go ask Kari who was stalking her, and come back when he was clear. I didn't expect it to take more than five minutes, but it had clearly been a while.

Both officers were sitting in front of me now. Carter spoke up, "We spent a lot of time with Kari, and we are all in agreement, that you are just as much of a viable suspect as Michael." He spoke flatly.

It was bullshit and I knew it.

Kari would never think I would do something like this to her. "You and your buddy here can agree all you like, but I know Kari, and she knows me. She would _never_ blame me for this," I said, sternly.

Before he started to speak again I interrupted him, "Are you planning on charging me with something, because if not, I think it's time for you to let the both of us go. We reported a crime, and now your treating me like a criminal." They looked between themselves before Carter got up and exited the room.

"Why should we believe your story? You have the access to each hotel room, you have reason to keep her away from Michael, and you could easily get one of the other guys to take the photos. What better way to get a girl to fall into your lap, than convincing her you are the only one who can protect her?" Evans leaned back as he spoke, looking aloof, but at the same time there was an uneasiness there.

"I'm not sure your story holds up, I'm the one who told her to call the police, because I _couldn't_ protect her from this. Everyone on this tour is like family, you are implying that her closest friends are betraying her, that she has _no one_ she can trust. What the hell kind of officers are you?" I was practically shouting, which probably wasn't helping, but I was so far past respecting the man in front of me.

He looked at me angrily, and stood up, pulling handcuffs out of his back pocket. This was it, I was about to be arrested, and I was honestly too tired to fight it at this point. Before he could do anything though Carter came back into the room.

"Miss Kamiya is declining to press charges for the moment. Mr. Takaishi is free to go, for now." Carter said, placing a hand on Evan's arm.

I stood up but they continued to block the door.

"You should remember, that you are not a citizen of this country. You may want to tread lightly while traveling. It would be a shame if you were forcibly removed, and sent back to Japan," Carter threatened.

I was caught off guard, but I didn't have time to fully process it, as they shoved me out of the room and down the hallway towards the entrance. They opened the front doors, and shoved me enough that I lost my balance, and fell onto my hands and knees. I stood slowly, turning back towards them. Evans had already walked back inside, but Carter was looking at me.

"Falsely reporting a crime is _also_ a crime young man, it's a waste of our time, and resources, that could be used towards real cases, remember that next time you call us about bull shit," he turned, and slammed the door behind him.

I stood there in disbelief, for a moment, but was shaken out of it when I heard my name. I turned and saw Kari coming up the steps towards me, my brother and Sora stood at the bottom of the steps. She crashed into my chest, and wrapped her arms around my waist, "I'm sorry T.K., I'm so sorry. Michael had to have paid them off. It's all a damn game to him. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

I placed my hand gently on the back of her head, smoothing her hair down, trying to calm her, and wrapped my other arm around her back, "It's ok. You didn't do this."

I looked down the steps at my brother, he looked sympathetic, and frustrated. Kari must have already told him about their conversation.

Wait.

"Wait, What do you mean he paid them off?"

* * *

A/N:Alright everyone. The next chapter should be out within the next week I just have to edit it. Also who's excited for the next installment of TRI! Please remember to review it helps so much! Until the next one...


	16. Chapter 16

Edited 10/1/18

Back after watching Tri this past weekend, still trying to get over the fact that we have about a year before the last installment and they have to wrap up all the open ends they have floating around right now! Oh well, back to our story.

I do not own Digimon or the song Acoustic #3 that would be the Goo Goo Dolls.

Spotify – Playlist FF

* * *

 _"They painted up your secrets  
With the lies they told you  
And the least they ever gave you  
Was the most you ever knew_

 _And I wonder where these dreams go  
When the world gets in your way  
What's the point in all this screaming  
No one's listening anyway"_

* * *

I watched the two officers from earlier throw T.K., out the door, and onto the ground. Sora reached out to stop me from running up to him, I turned back, and she looked at me with a pleading gaze, "Matt, we don't need them to hold you for five hours as well." She said, calmly.

He got up as one officer said something to him, before walking inside, and slamming the door behind him. T.K. turned around and I watched Kari run past me up to him.

He was looking, more tired, and ragged than I had ever seen him. His eyes looked almost bruised from a lack of sleep, and stress. His hair was down, and uncombed, his shirt crumpled in the front from where he had probably been fiddling with it.

Kari crashed into his chest, he put his arms tightly around her, and placed his head on top of hers. His eyes were shut and I thought for a moment he might cry. They whispered back and forth to each other, what I could only assume was an endless stream of apologies that neither of them needed to give. They looked so small to me then, all I wanted to do was protect them like I use to when we were young, but I couldn't fight this, real world, monster.

I felt helpless, I had money, but no where near enough to get the resources needed to fight Michael in court. I thought of, finally, reaching out to Tai for the first time since she had shown up at my apartment a few months ago. I wasn't one to abandon someones wishes when it came to their privacy, but I was lost, and so was she. When she came out earlier she was distraught with the possibility of what was happening to T.K. in there.

They walked down to meet us, "We should go," T.K.'s voice was horse.

Sora and I looked between each other, curious to know what they had said to him, but I thought better than to speak up until we were back in the hotel room.

We made our way to the rental and piled in. The ride back to the hotel was taken in silence. I don't think anyone wanted to be the one to break it.

The guys were waiting for us when we got back to the hotel room.

"Trevor?" Kari sounded like she was pleading with him about something.

He pressed off of the wall he'd been leaning on, and headed out of the room, without another word. She made her way onto T.K.'s bed and tucked her feet under her legs, she looked like she wanted to curl up and fall asleep, but she knew we had questions.

"What happened in there?" I looked to T.K. for an answer, already having some of Kari's story.

"They turned it onto me and when I wouldn't confess to anything they left. After a few hours they came back and tried to tell me Kari, actually, believed I could have done it. They said, 'Why would an actor need to stalk someone?' It was absolute garbage." He sat down on the floor in front of the bed, his knees were up and he had his head and arms resting on them. I didn't know it was possible for someone to look so angry and dejected at the same time, like Kari, he looked like he was ready to sleep for days, but his eyes were also hyper alert, darting around, almost like he was waiting for someone to come out of the walls.

"He paid them off," Kari said. We all turned to her.

"What do you mean he paid them off? Are you sure?" Sora questioned.

"The way they questioned me, the way they almost immediately tried to make it about T.K. They said, maybe my judgement was wasn't the best if I stayed in an abusive relationship for so long, so how could I be sure about T.K. They treated me like I was a crazy person, it was exactly how he use to treat me." She said.

Trevor came back into the room and sat next to her on the bed, handing her a pill bottle. She popped it open, and grabbed two, before taking a glass of water out of his hand and washing it down.

"Trev?" I questioned him with some warning in my voice.

"Matt, I need to sleep," Kari said firmly. "Don't give him a hard time it's nothing I haven't taken before."

I looked down to see what T.K.'s reaction would be, but his head had fallen to his knees. I wondered if he was asleep there on the floor.

"Do you guys want us to let you sleep for a while, and we can figure out what to do next later?" John spoke up for the first time, and our gazes met, challenging each other for a moment.

As much as John could seem like the youthful one in the group, happy, and excitable, he could just as easily turn into the parent. He looked between the two of them before looking back at me with a stern look, so I gave in, it wasn't worth an argument and I knew he was right.

Kari didn't respond, she just laid down onto the bed and turned away from everyone. We looked to T.K. for a reaction, but once again, there was no movement. I motioned for everyone to head out. We silently walked down the hallway and into the room the girls had been sharing.

"Dude, this is so messed up," Colin stated, as he sat down on one of the beds.

"We should ask to switch our rooms as we check in. I would assume Michael would think better than to continue to set up cameras in the rooms, but we can't be sure," Sora suggested.

I agreed with her, it was probably the best way to keep everyone safe. I still hadn't had time to fully process that this prick probably had photos of my girlfriend changing. I hoped for her sake he never did anything with them.

"Trevor, what did you give her?" I questioned.

"Matt relax, I gave her Xanax, she's only taken it one other time, and I wouldn't just give it to her for no reason. She's never going to get any rest if she's panicking for the next few hours," He said, more aggressively than I would have liked. I wasn't thrilled with his choice but it could have been worse, especially with him.

"Guys, I don't mean to be the downer here, but should we consider calling this right now? He's proven to be an absolute lunatic, and if he's getting to cops, how are any of us suppose to fight back? I know a few officers back in the city, and could talk to them about how to go about all of this, but what if he does something worse?" John took a seat on the floor, crossing his legs, and leaning back against the wall.

"If you guys dump the tour now, then he wins. He would have, once again, destroyed her chances at a career in the industry, and he would be messing up things for you guys. Kari isn't going to want you to stop because of this, and if you do, she will _always_ blame herself. I think getting in front of him with the rooms is a good start." I was surprised Sora was fighting for us to stay, I'd even thought about letting it go after everything over the past few hours, but maybe she was right. John still looked uneasy but Colin seemed happy not to throw in the towel.

I was worried about Kari and my brother, the two of them collectively went through way to much, at way to young of an age. It made them stronger, but it also wore them down a lot, and I hated seeing them go through anything this painful. I kept trying to think of a way to take care of it at the source, but they all ended in jail time, lots, and lots, of jail time, it was tempting though.

"I'm going to take a walk," Trevor got up, and left before anyone could protest.

We all shared a look, "Does anyone else think he's being weirdly calm about all of this? He's always been a little more protective of her than John and I. Shouldn't he be swearing, and talking about cracking skulls by now?" Colin questioned, and he had a point.

There was a time, a few months ago, that I was almost annoyed by their closeness. I really thought he was going to take a shot with her, and besides the fact that I was still, ridiculously, sure her and my brother were suppose to end up together, I also didn't want him getting her into anything. Trevor was like a brother, but after all the crap he's pulled in the past, I had to be weary.

"Yea, I mean, I think it's pretty weird, but I also don't want to encourage him to go lose his shit," I said.

"Good point," John agreed. "One thing I do think we should watch for is anyone suspicious that might be taking photos." He continued.

"Yea that's probably a good idea," Colin said.

Silence settled over our small group and John excused himself to go start packing, Colin followed behind him, leaving Sora and I alone in the room.

"I'm worried about the two of them," Sora said, as she started to pack up her things. "It was easy to fight battles when we were young because we had so much help, but this kind of fight feels hopeless."

It had been a long time since Sora had brought up anything like that, but she had a point. I didn't know how to fight like this, it wasn't about being brave, and believing things would turn out okay. It was about a human psychopath and access to money, and lawyers.

Then it hit me, we did know someone who might be able to help. She wasn't as immersed into the business as Michael was, but she was decently successful, and had pretty good connections. I would have to wait for T.K. and Kari so I could clear it with them. It was still Kari's story to tell, and I wasn't going to bring anyone else into it without her being okay.

* * *

"I'm," She started to speak but I interrupted her.

"We need to stop apologizing to each other for things that are out of our hands. Neither one of us did this to each other." Her response was silence, but I took it as an agreement because if she didn't agree she would have argued back. I was still seated, pathetically, at the foot of her bed. I had been racking my brain, trying to think of anything we could possibly do to get him off of our backs, but it was starting to feel hopeless. How do you beat someone who can pay off officers that are suppose to protect us. I tried to contemplate what level of proof we would, eventually, need to take him down.

"Can you at least not sit on the floor," She said, with a little more sass than I would have expected at the moment, and I had to smile at that.

I stood up and looked between the two double beds, the image of us before we were interrupted jumped into my head, I had almost forgotten how close we came to kissing.

She was facing away from me, curled up, and all I wanted to do was lay next to her and fall asleep, but I wasn't sure what was appropriate after everything that just happened. I turned to lay on the other bed and then told myself, screw it, I wasn't going to let him kill what was happening between us. I laid down on my back and closed my eyes. I felt the bed shift, she rolled over and snuggled into my side, I turned and put my arm around her, and pulled her a little closer to me. That was it, we fell asleep fast, and stayed that way for the next few hours.

* * *

There was a quiet rapping against the door. I, reluctantly, opened my eyes and saw the soft rise and fall of T.K.'s chest. If the knocking hadn't persisted I would have curled in closer to him and fallen back asleep. I pulled out of his grasp and went to answer the door. I looked back at T.K. sadly, I felt like everything happening between us was being tainted, and wondered what would happen with us once this was all over. Could we recover, and have a normal relationship, did he even want that? Did I even want that? Everything was happening so fast but - the knocking came again. I looked through the peep hole and saw Matt and Sora standing there, I let go of my thoughts and opened the door.

"Hey, he's still sleeping." I slid halfway out the door, trying not to wake him.

"We should get him up, we want to talk to you guys, and him and I should start packing since we have to leave in a few hours," Matt said, nudging around me into the room.

"Yo, bro, wake up," Mat said shaking T.K. a little harder than he probably needed to.

"He shot up quickly, looking around the room, "Whaswrong," he slurred out, still half asleep.

"Nothing, you're brother is just a horrible wake up call," I place my hand, gently, on his shoulder.

He rubbed his eyes and moved to sit at the edge of the bed. "What's up," He said, with a yawn.

"Well, we need to pack since we are leaving soon," Sora interrupted Matt, "And there is something we want to run by the two of you," She finished.

I felt T.K.'s hand land on my low back, and I leaned back into him. It was grounding, to know he was here, with me in all this. We waited, silently, for one of them to speak up, They shared a conflicting look and as usual, Sora was the one to take the lead.

"We were thinking, maybe we should reach out to Mimi about everything that's happening," She paused seeing my confused expression. She cautiously, continued, "If there is anyone we know that might have ideas about lawyers who might actually be able to help you, and get real police intervention, it's got to be her. Also, she knows Michael, maybe she knows of anyone else he's messed around with. The more proof we have the better it will be."

Three months ago I wouldn't have even entertained the thought, but now that Michael was going after people that I cared about I needed to widen my net, I couldn't have that. I did have one major concern about Mimi though.

"My only concern is her ability to keep anything to herself. I love her, but keeping secrets isn't exactly her strength. The likelihood that she tells Izzy, and then Tai finds out, is relativity high." I said.

"Wait, why would Mimi tell Izzy?" Matt asked.

We all stared at him, "Really?" T.K. broke the silence, shaking his head at his brothers obliviousness.

"Matt, if we have to explain this to you, I really have to question your observation skills." Sora said, smirking.

"Wow, I'm just asking a question guys, I left _first_ remember! What's the deal?" He crossed his arms defensively.

"Matt they have had this weird ... thing going on for years, except they can't manage to be in the same place to actually make anything work, but it's so obvious." He blinked at me a few times trying to process what T.K. just said.

"Ok. Weird, but why would Izzy tell Tai?" He relaxed a bit, but I saw the wheels turning in his head, trying to figure out where he missed the signs.

"Izzy and my brother were always really close. There is a part of me that knows Izzy would want to keep a secret, because that's what's noble, but he also has a fierce loyalty to Tai," I said.

"I mean, that might be a chance we need to take at this point. I think you need to be proactive here, look how far he's willing to go, I think we need to be prepared for the worst possible outcome," Matt had a point, but my stomach was in knots just thinking about sharing this with anyone else.

"Can I think about it for a few days? I understand where you guys are coming from, and I don't want Michael to mess with any of you, or hurt anyone else either. I just keep waiting for my life to calm down, and it finally felt like it did, but here we are again." I looked down at my torn cuticles, all the picking I'd been doing, tiny, annoying, symptoms of the stress I was dealing with. "Can we get through the next two shows and then I'll make a decision before Miami? She might honestly be down there, we talked a few weeks ago and she said she wanted to come to that show." Matt and Sora seemed like they wanted to keep pressuring me. I understood, Matt had to look out for T.K., and Sora felt like she had to look out for all of us.

They all reluctantly agreed to give me time. Matt and T.K. started packing up their room, thankfully Sora had already situated everything for us. We headed down to pack everything on the bus and then went to grab a bite to eat. Things seemed to have settled a bit but Trevor, curiously, didn't show up until we got on the bus later.

He had been distant the last few days. He hated drama, and maybe he just wanted to stay out of it as much as possible, but it still hurt a bit. I felt like we were close, he understood the damage I felt in a way no one else did, but it also wasn't fair of me to expect him to want to be part of everything going on.

I tried to let it go and focus on the upcoming shows. I laid down as soon as the bus started moving, I was still so tired, I put an eye mask on and tried to drift off but T.K. kept coming to the front of my mind.

We never had a chance to talk about what, almost, happened and I wasn't sure there would be a time we would revisit it now. Maybe it was selfish to even be thinking about us, but being out with him reminded me of why we ended up together in the first place. Our conversations always flowed so easily from one topic to the next. When there was silence it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. He never looked at me and saw what he hoped I would become, he saw me, for me, and was always perfectly happy with who I was right than. I had forgotten what it was like to have my guard down with someone, and still feel safe.

I fumbled around for my phone so I could put on some music, I needed to distract myself or I was never going to get any sleep. I heard the door, that separates our bunk, style, beds from the front of the bus, slide open. I pulled off my mask and saw T.K. shuffling through his backpack on the bed below mine. He straightened up and met my gaze.

"Sorry if I woke you," He was holding his notebook in his hand.

"It's okay, I was still awake, just trying to find my phone," I continued to prod around.

I saw him reach towards the end of the bed, "S'right here." He handed it to me and leaned against my bed. "Hika." That name again, it made my stomach jump just a bit. He looked conflicted.

"Yes?" I pressed him.

He sighed, and I felt my excitement falter a bit. I feared rejection so much, but if it came it was something I deserved. Maybe he couldn't get over the past, or he just couldn't deal with everything happening with Michael, no one should have to. I pulled my knees up to my chest and waited for what was to come.

"I don't know how to do any of this." He turned and crossed his arms over the edge of my bed, leaning his head against them. He looked up at me through his lashes, and I eyed him curiously, "I'm not making any sense." He said, more to himself than to me.

"I want, more than anything, to keep you safe and I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you stay that way. I know that none of this is easy, and that the timing is all off, but I also know how much I still care for you. The other night we ... I - I'm not sure where it would have went. I don't want to push you into something you aren't ready for, and when so much is still happening with Michael. I guess, I just want you to know that I'm not going anywhere." He finished rambling, as his fingers fidgeted with the edge of my blanket, his eyes, downcast and no longer visible.

He'd said a lot, but knowing that he still cared for me, and what they could mean set me at ease in a way I wanted, and needed, more than anything else at the moment.

I reached out and took his hand, "Lay with me?"

He put his book down on his bed and pulled himself up onto mine. There wasn't a lot of room on the small beds, I shifted myself towards the wall of the bus so he had room to lay down. He laid on his side facing me, and as I curled my back against his chest, he put his arm around me and pulled me closer.

"Any sane person would be running for the hills to get away from whats happening to me, but here you are, just as you've always been. You're the only one who's ever been able to convince me a dire situation could still have a silver lining," I felt myself holding back tears as I spoke, but I didn't want to cry anymore. I felt him take my hand, as the warmth from his breath drifted over my shoulder.

"We've seen some of life's darkest moments together and still managed to make it this far, we have to look at more than what we see, we have to look at whats possible," His voice was airy.

He sounded tired, he sighed heavily, and snuggled in even closer to me. I relaxed against him and closed my eyes. For a moment, I thought about what the others would think when they inevitability found us laying together, but I didn't care what anyone thought anymore, at least not anyone on this bus.

I decided then that I _would_ talk to Mimi, dealing with Michael wasn't just about me anymore. I had other people I needed to protect. I couldn't let him hurt anyone else, most of all T.K. As safe as I felt in this moment, I still had an ever growing sense of dread that things were only going to get worse before they got any better, and I needed to start taking the situation into my own hands.

* * *

Alright everyone, Let me know what you think. It was nice to get into Matt's head for a bit. Excited to see Mimi soon? Maybe there will be a special guest with her ;).


	17. Chapter 17

Edited 10/1/18

Hello everyone! So originally I had a pretty rough chapter coming up but when ToastyToaster22 said her babies needed a break I had to agree. This chapter was never in my outline but once I started trying to give everyone a good day it came out pretty quickly. So enjoy a little calm before things get rowdy again.

I don't own Digimon or the song "Something Just Like This," by The Chainsmokers

Spotify - Playlist FF

* * *

 _"But she said, where'd you wanna go? How much you wanna risk?_  
 _I'm not looking for somebody with some superhuman gifts._  
 _Some superhero, Some fairytale bliss just something I can turn to,_  
 _somebody I can kiss. I want something just like this"_

* * *

The sound of laughter floated through the air. The sun was high, beating down onto my unprotected shoulders, but the breeze kept it comfortable.

"Catch!" Sora tossed the bottle of sunscreen over to me and I started to generously apply it, it was nice that the biggest worry I had that day was a sunburn. We decided to take advantage of a nice day for once, and headed to the beach. They had their last show, before we would head to Miami, later that night.

Kari told everyone she would talk to Mimi about Michael when we got there. It brought some feeling of relief to everyone, not because we were sure if, or how, Mimi would be able to help but because Kari was finally letting people in to help her.

She seemed lighter today, at the moment she was swimming with John and Colin, smiles plastered on their faces. Matt and Trevor were throwing a frisbee around, each becoming more competitive as the time went on. Matt would throw it further to the side, and then Trevor would throw it way over his head. Matt always needed someone to compete with, I'm not sure he knew how to do anything without there being a winner or a loser. Trevor seemed to fill the gap I'm sure moving away from Tai created, none of the other guys really fell into that trap. John was so happy go lucky he would just forfeit the situation to make the other person happy, and Colin was just another story entirely. He was a _huge_ cheater, always looking for a way to change the rules, it drove everyone insane. We tried playing cards a few weeks ago, but it was a disaster, and we only got five hands in before it fell apart.

As if on cue, Colin came running between the two of them catching the frisbee mid-air and running off with it, creating a new game, without asking anyone if they minded. Sora came to sit by me, laughing at the ridiculousness that was the group of grown men, bickering like children, in front of us.

"It's nice," She said, between her laughter.

"Hmm?" I questioned, glancing at her.

"It's almost like this is all there is, ya know? Everyone is so relaxed today, and the last few shows have gone so well," She looked out to Kari and John, he was throwing her further into the water as she exploded into another fit of giggles.

"It's nice to let our guard down a bit, yea," I looked up at the sun and let it shine onto my face. It's simple warmth was a comfort I hadn't taken the time to enjoy in a while.

"Your brother is out of control," She said, with a snicker. I looked up and he was still trying to get the frisbee back from Colin, who had recruited Trevor to play keep away.

"He's you're boyfriend," I retorted.

"You raised him!" She shouted, playfully.

I looked at her flatly, "I'm younger."

"I stand by what I said," She said, trying to keep a straight face, but the two of us dissolved into laughter once again.

We saw John coming up from the ocean. A group of girls near the water watched him go by, each trying to stand out in their own way, and him totally oblivious. He took a seat on his towel and started digging through his backpack.

"John, those girls over there are eyeing you up," I nodded in the direction he came from.

He pulled a bottle of water out and took a large swig, "What?" He looked in their direction and they all quickly looked away. They were a bit younger than us, but probably in their early twenties. " _No way_ ," he scoffed. "They aren't looking over here."

"You're clueless," Sora joked.

"Who's clueless?" Colin interrupted, coming up from behind us. I turned back and saw that Matt and Trevor had their game back.

"Group of girls over there was checking out John," Sora said, with a glint in her eye.

"Where? There?" Colin said, pointing directly to the group of girls. Smooth, I thought to myself.

Sora and I nodded, as he dragged John to his feet and headed over to the group. "He's gonna ruin it," Sora said.

"Probably," I agreed.

"Hey," Kari came running over. "Come swimming?" She asked, sweetly.

"But the sun's so nice right here," I said, teasingly back to her. I closed my eyes, and looked up dramatically, but was shocked by cold water tricking across my chest.

"Hey!" I shouted, in mock horror, as she continued to wring her hair out over me.

I got up and started chasing her towards the water, leaving a dust trail of sand behind me, her mission was accomplished. The wind carried the sound of her laughter back to me. I could have caught up before we hit the water, but she looked so happy, and I didn't want to end the game too soon. When I finally got to her we were a few feet into the water. I picked her up as John had before, tossing her a little further into the ocean. When she came back to the surface she responded by splashing me, completely soaking whatever had been left dry. I dove into the water and swam around behind her, quietly coming up so she wouldn't notice me. I saw her looking around, I went under again before she could spot me and grabbed her waist under the water, tossing her once again, and watching happily as she exploded into another fit of giggles.

She swam over holding up her hands, "Truce?" I eyed her suspiciously. She chuckled a bit before responding, "I _promise_. I'm tried, and my stomach hurts from laughing."

I held out my hand accepting her truce, pulling her a bit closer to me, where I knew she could stand without going under the water, "I'm glad you're having fun today," I said, pushing some stray wet hair out of her face.

"It's nice, we should have done this at the last stop too," She looked up at me for a moment, before glancing back at everyone. I could tell she was mulling something over.

"What's on your mind, Kamiya?" I questioned playfully.

She smiled up at me, but there was pain in her eyes, "I just wish I knew it would stay like this, ya know?"

I nodded in understanding. I looked back, and saw Colin and John still talking with the group of girls, John looked like he was fairing better than Colin, who appeared to be striking out. Matt had joined Sora near our things, quietly lounging together. Trevor had disappeared for the moment.

"I'm glad you came," I turned back and she had a slight blush creeping into her cheeks, it could have been the sun, but the way she avoided my eyes made me think otherwise.

"What do you mean?" I questioned, prodding for something more specific.

"On tour, I just – I can't imagine going through the last few weeks without you. I didn't realize how much of a space you took up in my life until I left Japan." She reached out, and grabbed one of my hands in her own, "It's not just everything bad either, I'm happy you're here for days like today, for dinner, for all of it," She looked up shyly when she was finished speaking.

Little water droplets sat on her lashes, and the sun brightened up her eyes so they were more of a chestnut color, than their normal deep brown hue. She furrowed her brow, and I realized I'd been staring too long without responding, lost in a moment I didn't know I'd have with her again.

I laced my fingers between hers, and closed a bit of the space between us, "Don't you think I'm glad I'm here," I tilted her chin so she could see my face, see that there was no hesitation, or question, about the decision I'd made.

"I just know how bad the bad days have been," She replied.

"Hika, the bad days can't ruin a day like today, or anything else good that happens. Did you forget about the good days we had when we were kids, even though we had some absolutely insane ones? Do you regret those?" I questioned.

The corners of her mouth twitched, and her eyes held a bit more ease, "I never thought about it like that, but no, never. I wouldn't trade any of it."

"Me either, so how could I trade a day like today," I said.

Neither of us spoke for a bit, we just waded in the shallow water, she leaned further into me and buried her head into my chest. She said something but it was muffled.

"What was that?" I said, grazing my hands across her shoulders, pulling her back so I could look at her. She bit her bottom lip and took a deep breath before she met my eyes again.

"I – I just." She paused again. I looked down at her and tried not to laugh, it was adorable the way she was trying to gather herself. She looked up at me, and huffed, as if to say, _'you know what I'm trying to say.'_ She started again, "I mean. I still have - I still."

She stopped stuttering as I moved my hands from her shoulders to her face. I caressed her cheek, "Me too," I said, before I bent down and kissed her softly, saving her from the struggle of saying what we both felt. It only took her a moment before she kissed me back.

She tasted like the sea, her mouth was salty, and cold from the ocean water. It was choppy for a moment and the water pushed us back but I stayed steady on my feet, we didn't part, not yet. My hand was tangled in her hair, while the white noise of the ocean made me almost dizzy. I felt one of her hands move from my chest to the back of my neck, the trail she left was as cold as her mouth had been. When we parted her eyes fluttered, the little water droplets traveling down her face.

Years I'd spent away from her, years I'd spent not touching her, kissing her. I remembered every second of our first kiss, it was burned into my memory. It was slow and gentle, both of us so afraid and unsure, but this was different. The moment she reacted and kissed me back there was no question anymore. I played with the ends of her hair between my fingers, slowly moving my hand back to her face. She leaned into my touch and shivered, from me or the water, I wasn't sure. My thumb grazed her bottom lip and she pulled me back to her, our mouths crashed together, she buried her hands into my hair, my own had moved to her waist, holding her close. A wave crashed into us again, this time breaking us apart, we were suddenly hyper aware of where we were, on a public beach surrounded by people. She brought her hand to her mouth and smiled, before looking around and laughing. It was the most beautiful sound to me, my favorite song. I pulled her close to me in the water for a bit, before we headed back in to what I was sure would be a slue of teasing, but I didn't care.

The rest of the day was a blur, the show went off without any issues and by the time we got back to the bus we were all exhausted. We wanted to spend an extra day in Miami so we ended up driving straight through the night. We got in at about three in the morning. When we got to our room we collapsed into bed and fell right asleep.

It was our best day on the tour, it's not that there weren't other good ones, but the good were littered with what was to come. We never expected what would happen next, it made no sense for a while, and it sent everything into an agonizing tailspin.

That one day though, that one day was perfect.

* * *

Alright everyone let me know if this was a good break for our gang ;) The next chapter is essentially written I just need to clean it up so I should have it done within the week. Until next time!


	18. Chapter 18

Edited 10.1.18

Back to reality for our friends here. Thanks so much for the reviews on last chapter I appreciate it so much. ToastyToaster22 I'm happy you liked it!

I'm glad with how it turned out, the story needed it before the next few chapters.

As always I don't own Digimon or the song 'Impossible Year,' thats by Panic at the Disco.

Playlist available on Spotify - Playlist FF

* * *

 _"There's no good times_  
 _This impossible year_  
 _Just a beachfront of bad blood_  
 _And a coast that's unclear"_

* * *

I felt like I was suffocating.

A heavy weight surrounding me, but when I gasped for air I couldn't breathe deep enough to let any in. There was darkness surrounding me no matter how many times I tried to adjust my eyes, the blackness that happens during a new moon, far away from the city, when the clouds hide away any stars that could try to peak through.

As my awareness started to grow I realized I was barefoot, my feet were gripping sand, and there was water washing over them. Did I pass out on the beach? Did we go to the beach today? I tried to search my brain for the last thing I could remember.

I was slowly able to take small shallow breaths, I bent my ridged body down to feel the sandy ground beneath me, once again the water washed over me.

I heard my name being called from a distance, but it didn't sound like anyone I knew.

" _Kari, he's coming."_ The disembodied voice was unsettling in a way I can't fully describe. It sounded both old and young at the same time, like a child, in a singsong, with the rasp of a person who's lived far past their time.

Still surrounded by the darkness, my eyes finally began to adjusted, I saw that I was on a long beach, just sand, and ocean for miles, but where were all the hotels?

Miami, we had just gotten to Miami last night, I remember. All the beaches around here were surrounded by hotels, this didn't make any sense, and everything was grey. Where were the palm trees? Where was-?

The ocean.

It couldn't be, it had been years since I had been pulled back here. It couldn't possibly be real.

" _Kari, he's almost here. You left us. He wants you to stay,"_ The voice came again, closer this time.

I looked all around and decided I needed to run, somewhere, anywhere to get away form the ocean. I went to move my feet and was horrified to find out that I was stuck in place, my feet wouldn't budge from the sand, water crashed over me again, harsher this time. It was cold, and felt like knives digging into my skin.

I screamed, but no noise came from my mouth, I tried to yell over, and over again, I screamed for T.K., Sora, Matt, Trevor, my brother, but not a peep escaped my mouth.

The water came again, crashing against my body, knocking me over into the sand. I tried to get back up but I was completely stuck to the ground now.

" _Kari, he's here,"_ The voice was right behind me now, before I could turn to see what would likely be the death of me, the water crashed over my whole body, pulling me out to sea. I was free from the sand but wave, after wave, crashed over my head, water rushed into my nose and mouth, I fought to reach the top of the water but something was pulling me deeper. My brain was becoming foggy, I was going to drown.

No.

I couldn't stop fighting, I had to get back. I kicked as hard as I could to break free, I saw a light above the top of the water and crashed through to the night sky.

I sat up in bed breathing heavily, soaked in a cold sweat, with T.K. sleeping soundly next to me. My heart felt like it would explode out of my chest. A dream, it was just a dream. I hadn't dreamed of the ocean since I was in high school, why now?

I slid out of bed and snuck into the bathroom, closing the door gently behind me to make sure I didn't wake T.K. I ran the water and splashed my face a few times to wake up, I was freezing though, I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my shoulders before sliding to the floor. I brought my knees to me chest and tried to take deep breaths to calm myself.

Was it just the stress? I've only ever been taken there in my worst times. I felt the dread of something big coming, my intuition was never off, and I never took a dream about the ocean lightly.

I got up, and let the towel fall to the floor, quietly exited the bathroom and fumbled around my bag for something to change into. I could see the sun rising from between the curtain panels. I found my discarded yoga pants, a tank top, grabbed my yoga mat, phone, and left our room. 6:45AM, my phone screen blinked at me. I ran down the hotel hallway desperate to get away from the room.

The soft breeze brushed against me once I got outside of the hotel, I closed my eyes and tried to take a deep breath, I felt a little less suffocated now that I was outside in the fresh air. I walked around behind the hotel, stopping before I reached the sand from the beach. I hesitated, but after a moment I took off my sandals, and put my feet into the warm sand.

I stayed like that for a moment, reminding myself that I was here, safe, and not in that world of cold, and darkness, I remembered from my childhood. I looked for a flat spot on the beach and headed over to set up my mat. Sitting down, I scrolled through my phone for a relaxing playlist, I hit play and set my phone at the top of my mat.

My hands reached out in front of me, big toes touched, knees wide, and I placed my forehead into the mat. Laying in child's pose I started to deepen my breath. The longer I was able to make my breath, the calmer I became. I was right here. I could breath. I could feel warmth. See color. Everything was fine.

As I moved through my practice though, the sense of dread stayed in the pit of my stomach, no matter how much I calmed down, the feeling still lingered.

* * *

The first thing I remembered that morning was smacking into the floor, hard. I had this anxious feeling in my chest and had the frantic need to find Kari.

I called out to her, but my voice sounded far away. I was still trying to wake up, rubbing my tired eyes, trying to adjust. I stood up, grabbing onto the side of the bed, and saw she wasn't there. I stumbled over to the bathroom and found it as vacant as our bed had been. I didn't see a note anywhere. I tried to think of something logical but all I could think of was the ocean.

With that thought in mind I ran to our balcony and threw the doors open, a little more violently than I meant to. I looked down and saw her, safe and sound, practicing yoga on the beach. Practicing just as she had in the last two cities we had visited. I slowed my breathing, trying to calm myself down, telling myself everything was fine.

"You okay Dude?" I looked over at the balcony next to mine and saw Colin staring at me, concern covering his face. I must have looked manic the way I ran out there.

"Fine, yea sorry. Just – I," I couldn't think of any excuse for my behavior.

"It's fine man, she ran down the hall like a bat outta hell this morning, you guys have an argument or something?" He prodded.

"No, I just woke up. I haven't even talked with her this morning. You think she's okay?"

"She seems fine. I donno man, I was already awake when I heard her leaving, it was early though, she's been out there for about two hours." There was concern in his voice.

My eyes traveled back down, she looked peaceful, and calm. I wished I felt the same, I still felt like my heart was beating out of my chest, it was like waking up from a bad dream, but I didn't remember having one.

"Earth to T.K." He was waving his arms, trying to get my attention.

"Huh? Sorry, I spaced."

He wasn't tactful, the look on his face told me that I was, in fact, acting a bit crazy. His eyes studied me for a moment, but then he shrugged, "You, uh, wanna get breakfast or anything?"

I appreciated him letting it go, but I didn't think I could handle food at the moment, "I'm ok for now. I think I'm going to take a shower, and try to wake up some more."

"Probably a good idea space cadet, it's not like any of us got much sleep last night, see ya a little later," He teased, as he headed back into his room.

I stole one last look at Kari before heading back in. I went into the bathroom and started the water, and stepped in before the heat had adjusted properly, but the scolding water almost felt good. I had this frigid shiver since I woke up, like I'd been in ice cold water. Something just felt off. I didn't remember the last time I woke up feeling so unsettled.

I tried to rationalize with myself, we were under a lot of stress with the tour itself, and with all the Michael craziness added in, but after yesterday I should feel anything but unsettled. I watched the water disappear down the drain and wished my worries away with it.

I turned the water off, and grabbed a towel to dry off. Once I was satisfied, I looked down for my clothes but realized I had left them out in the room. I secured the towel around my waist just in case she had come back. It would be fine, I would just grab my clothes and run back in. Except I opened the door to a startled, and red faced, Kari standing in front of me.

"Ohmygosh, I'm sorry. It was so quiet in there, I didn't realize. I saw Colin and Trev downstairs and assumed you were. I-" A blush crept up her face, she was adorably, mortified.

"It's ok. I'm sorry, I should have shouted out here in case you came back. I just forgot my clothes when I went in. It's my bad," I let out a small, awkward, laugh.

We stood there frozen for a moment, before I shook myself away and went to grab something to put on.

"Do you need to get back in there, or?" She started to question.

"Oh sorry, no. I mean, I can change out here, obviously, if you need to get in there."

"M'ok," She muttered.

She was about to shut the door before I stopped her, remembering what Colin had said this morning. I gently touched her shoulder and she turned back, "Hey, I saw Colin this morning, he said he heard you running down the hall early. Was everything ok?"

"I-" She started talking but paused, biting her lip, a concerned look crossed her face.

"You can tell me."

She looked up at me and her face darkened again, I stepped back giving us some space realizing I was still in a towel. Jesus, I was an idiot.

"Let me shower first, okay?" She asked.

"Of course, take your time," I headed over to my bed as she disappeared into the bathroom.

I dug through my suitcase and found a plain black T-Shirt to throw on, with a pair of grey shorts, I went to put my phone in my pocket but it didn't really fit all that well. I grumbled, about missing my cargo shorts, to no one in particular.

I grabbed my notebook, and sat down to try and write for a few minutes before she came out, but right as I was about to start, her phone began to buzz from across the room. I ignored it and after a few seconds it stopped, but I was surprised when it started again after about 20 seconds. I got up to check and see if it was someone in our group but it wasn't a number I recognized. I clicked the side button so the buzzing would stop, I'd let her know to check it once she got out.

I headed back to the table to sit down again, but the buzzing came once more. I got up to check her phone, and again, was greeted with an unknown number. This was getting weird. I was about to call her name, but then I started to see messages flash on her phone, name after name popped up too quickly to keep track of. Suddenly a call came from a number I did recognize, Tai. I hadn't heard her talk to Tai once since I'd been with them. His call ended quickly, like he was too impatient to wait for the voicemail, and then I saw his name pop up on what was becoming an endless stream of text messages.

There was suddenly banging on the door, "Guys, open up." It was John. Her phone still buzzed in my hand.

I opened the door to find him looking distressed, "What's wrong?"

He walked in the room without saying anything. "I was just flipping the channels, everyone went to get breakfast, ya know? And so I was just going channel to channel. Fuck!" He pulled out his phone. "It came across the screen and I passed right by it before it even registered, but I went back, and it was her." After everything we had already been through together I don't think I had ever seen John lose it quite this much.

I grabbed his hands to steady them as he quickly typed on his phone.

"What's happening," I asked, slowly.

He took a breath, and scrolled down on his phone before finding what he was looking for. "I don't know how to tell her." He handed me the phone and I almost dropped it out of my hands.

There was Kari, plastered across some sort of tabloid website. The photos looked like they were taken by a hospital, or the police. She was covered in bruises, the colors that marred her body stood out against the blank, white, wall behind her, and her pale skin.

"Michael Keating, budding star or abusive Ex.?" The headline read. I kept scrolling. "Startling new photos have surfaced of Keating's, ex. girlfriend, Kari Kamiya. The photos, sent in by an anonymous source, are from back when the two were still an official item, they were seen at an event together, just two weeks, after the photos were supposedly taken. We've, so far, been unable to reach Kamiya for a comment, while Keating's camp is denying the allegations." I stopped reading and looked up at John in shock.

Suddenly I felt my own phone buzzing. I looked down and saw Matt was calling me, "Hello? I-"

He started talking over me, "Someone leaked some photos of Kari, it's bad, theres paparazzi outside, they practicality pounced on us as we were coming back. Hey, get out of my face!" He shouted at someone else, before the phone went dead.

John and I looked between each other, and the bathroom door, as it opened to an oblivious Kari. She looked at both of us, seeing our shock, and her face dropped. "What now?"

Before we could answer her we were interrupted, by what I could only assume was my brother banging on the door. John opened it to Matt, Sora, Colin, and Trevor.

"Guys?" Kari said in a shaky voice. "Is everything ok?" She questioned, already knowing the answer was no. "T.K. … why do you have my phone?"

I looked down and realized it was still in my hand.

"Kari, were there photos? You said, he once sent you to the hospital?" Colin asked, bluntly.

She looked so startled then, "Yea, I almost reported him once but I – I got scared at the last minute and declined to press charges." She looked between all of us before her eyes landed on mine, the one's she knew couldn't betray her. "How did you know about that?" I could see her visibly shaking, "T.K. whats happening?"

"Someone released the photos, Kari," Matt said, before I had a chance to speak.

"No," She choked out. "No, no, no, no," She backed up against the wall, sliding down to the floor, chocking back a sob, "Why, why is this happening," she was speaking barely above a whisper.

I moved towards her, slowly kneeling down, and reaching out. She let me gently pull her into my lap, she grabbed onto my shirt and buried her head against my neck, and I could feel her tears falling against my skin. I wrapped my arms around her, staring desperately up at my brother, totally lost on what to do.

"He wouldn't do this guys. This is like, career _ending_ for him," Colin had a point.

Everything up until now had been Michael coming at her, but this, as horrifying as it was for her, it was also a blatant shot at him.

I felt her start to calm, her breathing became more even, she released her hold on me, and pulled back, wiping her face as she did. "Show me," She didn't ask. She was telling us.

John handed her his phone. Her eyes widened as they glanced across the screen, she looked up at me like she was going to speak, but her phone went off in my palm again.

"It's been buzzing since you got in the shower," I said, before handing it to her.

She looked at it for a moment, scrolling through the slew of messages she was receiving, before it started buzzing in her hand again. She looked like she was about to answer it, but instead she pressed the side button down and her screen suddenly went black.

"We have another problem. There's paparazzi outside the hotel, they must have gotten wind we were staying here," Sora added.

Matt's phone buzzed, he looked relieved at whatever the message was, "I think I found a solution to that problem."

Everyone in the room waited patiently for him to continue, he typed away on his phone for a few seconds before he noticed we were all staring at him.

"Everyone pack your things, and be ready to be out of here in a half hour," Matt suddenly left, dragging Sora behind him.

Colin and Trevor followed them silently. John stayed, he walked over to Kari and pulled her up and into a hug, she looked like a child in his arms. He pulled back, towering over her, and left without a word.

"Tai was calling," Her voice cut through the silence. She moved to start packing, throwing things haphazardly into her luggage. "Tai was calling when I turned my phone off. He hasn't called in months. Everyone knows."

I didn't know what to say, because there was nothing I _could_ say to make things better. I'd just be talking to talk, to try and make it okay, and I didn't think that would help right now, me being hopelessly optimistic didn't seem like an option when all I felt was dread.

"Your phone is lighting up now," she said, quietly, pointing to the desk my phone sat on.

I picked it up to see Tai was messaging me now.

 _"Are you with my sister?_

 _Is what they are saying true?_

 _No one will respond to me._

 _Please?_

 _Why wont anyone answer their DAMN phones!"_

"Kari, he's worried," I said, letting her know it was her brother trying to reach me, without going into the messages.

"T.K. who would do this?" She ignored me, airing the question again.

"Money maybe? I would assume they were worth something. Colin is right, it could be career ending for him, so it doesn't make sense that it would be him," As horrible as this was for her, maybe it would actually get him off her back.

"I mean, men in Hollywood have survived worse allegations and kept their careers." Her voice wavered, and cracked, her eyes glossed over again.

"Come here," I pulled her into my arms and lead her onto our bed.

"I feel like it's never going to end. He's going to come after me for this. He's going to think it was me."

"I wont let him get to you, we are going to fight this, remember? We will talk to Mimi," I tried to sooth her fears, but she shook her head into my chest.

"He has an entire press camp to deal with this, and all I have is my word, which is essentially worthless," She pulled back from me. "We need to get our things packed, I don't know what your brother has planned, but I just want to get out of here, and away from what I assume is a mob scene of press waiting for us downstairs."

She pulled herself out of my arms, and quickly finished packing.

There was a knock on our door as she zipped up my backpack and handed it to me, I grabbed my notebook and slid it into the front pocket. She started heading for the door but I reached out for her arm to stop her, "Be right there," I shouted to the other side.

She tilted her head, curious. I bent down, and kissed her quickly, "We will figure it out together okay? If I'm here, you aren't alone." I didn't want her to withdraw from us, I knew her, I knew how she would try to handle everything on her own.

"If he tries to hurt you-" She started, but I shook my head.

"Lets just get through this okay? I don't think he's going to be worried about me right now."

"Guys we gotta jet," Matt said, impatiently, from the other side of the door.

We grabbed our things and opened the door to everyone except for Colin.

"Come on," Matt said, as we headed for the elevator, but he passed by it and I realized we were taking the stairs.

"Where is Colin?"

Matt smirked back towards us, "Distraction, he will catch up later."

* * *

"We have a show tomorrow night, you guys should totally try to make it," I snickered at the photographers as they tried to look over my head, waiting to get some sort of photo, or reaction, from Kari, who would _not_ be exiting this door.

"Do you have anything to say about the photos?" One of them asked me.

"Which photos?" I asked, mockingly. Before he could ask anything else I started talking again. "I'm telling you, we have a show tomorrow and I'm sure you could get some great photos then."

They looked pissed, one walked away while some of the others continued asking the same questions over, and over. _'Was it true? Where the images fake? Would Kari be coming out.'_ She was coming out alright, coming out the back of the hotel with the others. They were getting bored with me though, and I couldn't have them snooping around and catching them.

 _Think. THINK._

"Is Kari currently seeing anyone of your band members?" One of the scum bags shouted, over one of the other scum bags, and I thanked them in my head for the opening.

"No, not _in_ the band?" I replied, casually leaning against the wall.

"What about the brother of your lead singer? He's seen with her quite often," Scum number two, yelled.

"Now that is an interesting question, define 'together'," I made air quotes with my hands.

This got their attention. Now they were all yelling over each other. I looked down as my phone vibrated in my hand. "Gone, get out of there when you can." I read Matt's message, while I cheesed for the cameras.

"Sorry everyone, it appears I'm needed inside," I threw up my hand to wave, and headed back into the hotel feeling proud of myself. Best way to distract from a rumor was to create another one! I headed up to my room, checked to make sure we hadn't forgotten anything, and threw on my hoodie. I waited about a half hour before going out one of the side entrances, no one was really looking for me so I was able to walk away pretty undetected. It looked like the photographers had switched out, there where new people standing around waiting.

As I headed down the beach I thought about our situation. I always wanted to be famous, growing up I thought it seemed like the best possible life. I'd get to be a musician, have tons of money, girls, and everyone would know my name. I never acknowledged the other side of it. This ugly side of your life belonging to everyone else. Every word, and move you made, was endlessly analyzed. Maybe Daft Punk had it right with the helmets, no one ever bothered them.

I headed off the beach, and rounded the corner, searching for the address Matt told me to wait at. I saw the name of the restaurant I needed, but before I could walk in I heard my name being called. I looked around and saw John in a black sedan waving me over. I got in and relaxed while we drove to this Mimi girls place, wondering what she would be like, and if she'd be single?

* * *

A/N: Who do you think leaked the photos? I hope you are excited to see Mimi next chapter I'm really excited about this next part of the story.


	19. Chapter 19

Edited 10/2/18 This one is probably the one I tweaked the most since the first chapter, I hope you enjoy it!

Hey everyone! I'm so sorry for the delay I've been working and reworking this chapter for over a month and it's essentially turned into almost three chapters. I decided to split it up so I could get something out for you guys. We are starting to get into the thick of it now, a lot of old faces are going to start popping up which I'm super excited for, a few new ones as well. Thank you to Bdc for the review and the push, getting that was probably the kick in the ass I needed.

As always I don't own Digimon. I don't own Seven Devils it is from Florence + The Machine

Spotify: Playlist FF

* * *

"Holy water cannot help you down  
Hours and armies couldn't keep me out  
I don't want your money  
I don't want your crowd  
See I have to burn  
Your kingdom down"

* * *

Mimi's apartment was like something out of a magazine. She had a condo on the Miami coast, with an open floor plan that made it look even larger than it was. All the furniture was neutral, with pastel pink and blue pillows and blankets as accents. She had a large sectional, two accent chairs and a large wooden coffee table. Her kitchen was the focal point, no surprise there, it was warm with light brown cabinets and a cream counter top. Windows practically lined the walls giving an ocean view most people would never experience. Stairs led up to a loft that separated into four bedrooms.

We arrived early that afternoon and gave her a rundown of what had been happening. Once John and Colin made it there, we separated off, ate, showered, and rested a bit. She had someone coming over later who she thought could help us, and wanted to give everyone some time to wind down from the chaos of that morning.

She had held onto Kari for a while, like a mother after being separated from a child, apologizing profusely for not telling her all the 'stories' she knew. She was too tired to say anything except that it was okay, she needed some rest so I suggested she lay down for a bit before we shared anymore bombshells of information, and that's when we all split.

Matt, Sora, Kari and I coupled off into two separate rooms and the guys shared the last extra. While everyone was getting acclimated, Mimi finished cooking, she had been preparing soup when we got there, even with all the heaviness hanging over us she happily chopped away at her counter insisting we would all feel better after a real meal.

She was different, more settled, yet still the excitable, bubbly, and happy girl we had all known growing up. Sora helped her in the kitchen as they caught up, every once in a while collapsing dramatically over the counter in a fit of laughter. Matt tried to sleep on the sectional but he gave in and joined Sora after Mimi's excited squealing, every five minutes, made it impossible to get any rest. His face showed the usual aloof annoyance but he was equally engaged in the conversation, I could tell, the way his shoulders relaxed and his jaw unclenched, he had missed her as much as the rest of us had. There was a lightness that Mimi carried with her, and we all needed it. The guys passed out upstairs for a bit, but after about an hour John came down and joined them. He was excitable but I hadn't noticed before that his energy level was, extraordinarily, close to hers, the two of them got into an animated conversation about restaurants back in NewYork.

I took Matt's place on the couch, actively listening to everything around me without being a participant. I was exhausted, but at the same time couldn't relax enough to rest, it was like my mind was on a loop, the images of the past few days replaying over, and over again. I noticed Matt send worried glances my way every little bit, but I tried to avoid his gaze, he didn't need to be worrying about me right now.

I turned on my phone for the first time in a few hours, after following Kari's lead earlier, shutting it off. I had 45 missed phone calls, 80 percent of them unknown callers, probably reporters. The rest were a combination of Tai and, surprisingly to me, my mother. I had 16 messages from Tai, begging me to call him, Kari to call him, asking for any answers at all. Every message was harder to read than the last. I needed to talk to her later about contacting him, I knew my brother and Sora probably had similar messages as well, he shouldn't be left in the dark at this point, it wasn't fair.

I switched to a messaging app I used for my friends back in Japan, and it was a similar story.

I clicked on Davis's name.

What the hell is going on?

Is she okay?

Are you okay?

What can I do?

He didn't question the truth, and was only worried about us, it made me missed him more than I already did. Rarely do you find a friend so willing to do absolutely anything for you at the drop of a hat, he could be a hothead and react too quickly, but right now I could have used some of that energy, when all I felt was paralyzed. I responded, saying that we were holding up and I would reach out as soon as I could.

I shut my phone for a few minutes, content to ignore everyone else, but those two phone calls were eating away at me. The two from my mother. Two missed calls and no messages.

I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the irritation that was growing until I couldn't help myself anymore. I headed wordlessly out onto the balcony and hit the send button. It only rang once before she picked up.

"T.K.?"

"Who else would be calling from my phone?" There was a pause on the other end, she decided to ignore my irritated sarcasm.

"Is she okay?"

"Suddenly, you care about her wellbeing? I scoffed, turning around and leaning against the railing, seeing that was a mistake as everyone was looking at me from inside, I rolled my eyes and turned back out towards the ocean, privacy was hard to come by.

She signed, "T.K. stop, your father and I have both received phone calls from Tai and his mother wondering if we had heard form you. They are a mess over this." She stopped, I heard her clicking away at her computer, and slam her hand against the keyboard. "Damnit T.K., of course I care. I _always_ cared. I made a mistake. I'm sorry. I always loved Kari I just – obviously loved you more."

We let the silence hang there. I was still so angry with her, but with everything going on I realized how young I felt, how much I wished there was an adult to fix everything. She had been over protective, but decent when we were children, and understood that sometimes we needed to take large risks to win battles. It wasn't often I longed for any sort of parental figure, growing up the way we did, Matt and I were self sufficient, but this, it was just so different from anything we'd faced.

Thinking about everything was getting me worked up, and I knew I was about to crack, I felt my chest getting tight, and it was hard to take a full breath. I'd been holding in the stress as much as I could, trying to take care of Kari, but I was nearing my own edge.

"I don't know what to do," I was trying to hold myself together but choked out a sob. I bit the inside of my cheek trying to remain calm.

"Tell me everything."

And then I did, I let the words spill out of my mouth faster than I could focus on them. I gave Kari's story to the person I trusted the most, and the least. I had to stop at some points, gather myself, but by the time I finished I had calmed down, anger at Michael replaced my distress over the situation. I conveniently left out threats the police had made against me, I didn't need her worrying about that right now.

"So Mimi is going to help her find a lawyer?"

"I think so, she has someone coming over soon but we aren't sure who this person is."

"How are _you_?"

"Tired, angry for her, I just want him to go away for this, but we don't know how to make that happen when he seems to be able to get away with just about anything."

"Didn't Mimi say that she knew some stories about him?"

"Yea, but who knows what that means."

I could hear her chewing the bottom of her pen, and typing on her computer.

"Will you tell me if you learn anything else? Maybe I can help, try and access records or something. I have a few stateside contacts that could try and do some digging, see if there are other buried stories?"

I let her question hang between us, she was good at her job, it was why she wasn't home a lot, but I wasn't sure if Kari would want her digging around in this, "I don't know what she would say to me if she knew I was talking to you. She might get angry, she could pull away-"

"She might want to know who you are talking to and why you are trying to keep secrets from her?"

I turned around and saw Kari standing behind me, she must have snuck out onto the balcony at some point during the conversation, but I had no idea how much she had heard. She held out her hand wordlessly for the phone, I figured she thought it was Tai.

"Kar, listen it's not who you-"

"Can I please have the phone?" Her eyes bore into mine, and her jaw was clenched with her mouth in a firm line, as her foot tapped impatiently onto the ground. I handed it to her while my mother was asking questions and trying to figure out what was going on, on my end.

"Hello?" Her eyes widened a bit when she heard my mothers voice, before glaring daggers in my direction.

I mouthed, "I'm sorry," but she turned away from me, listening intently to whatever my mother was saying. I gripped onto the hand rail and bit onto the inside of my cheek again, I was. So. Fucking. Stupid. She was going to hate me for sure after this, I betrayed her trust to the last person she probably ever wanted to hear from again. I was an idiot, how the hell were we ever suppose to be together when she would hate my mother forever. What kind of life were we suppose to lead, never seeing my family? My thoughts spiraled, way the fuck out there, while I chewed onto the inside of my cheek until the metallic taste of blood entered my mouth. "Shit," I muttered under my breath.

I looked down when I felt her pulling one of my hands off the railing into her own. I looked down and she was still on the phone but her gaze had softened.

"Yea, okay, We will call back with anything else," Kari said back over the line, before disconnecting.

She let the phone fall away from her ear and gave me a once over, concern flooding her eyes in the place of anger.

"Can you look ten percent less like you are going to jump over this railing?" I looked down at my feet, ashamed.

"I'm sorry." I was still gripping the railing with my free hand tightly. I tried to calm down a bit but was having no luck. I looked down at her desperately. "We need help I don't know how to keep you safe from any of this, and I just, I lost it."

"Everyone know's now anyway. The only reason I haven't called my brother is because I don't know what to say." She rubbed circles on the back of my hand. "I thought it was him on the phone. Your mom is, obviously not my favorite person ever, but I also told you I didn't want you to hate her, you can always talk to her but can you just tell me before you share anything else."

I looked away from her, afraid of her response to my next question, ashamed I even needed to ask, and hating how vulnerable I felt, "You don't hate me?"

She tugged on my hand, trying to have me turn back to face her but I held firm, not wanting her to see how weak I was.

"T.K. how am I ever suppose to hate you? Seriously?" She pulled a little harder and I budged, turning towards her, but looked down at my feet. "Are you even hearing what I'm telling you. I'm _not_ mad."

I felt so embarrassed, jumping to the most extreme conclusion, annoyed with myself for being more dramatic in my head than I needed to be.

"I'm sorry," I met her eyes then, confused at what in the world she was possibly sorry for. "She told me if we can get her any leads to let her know."

I turned away again, gently releasing my hand from her grasp, and holding back into the railing.

"Hey, I forgave her a long time ago, okay? I'm sorry if I overreacted when I came out here, I'm just on edge, I shouldn't have been so harsh."

She poked me in the side, it surprised me, causing me to loosen my grip on the railing, she used that moment to edge under my arm and move between myself, and the metal bars.

"What are you doing," I, tried not to smile, willing myself to be miserable, but she put her arms around my waist and buried her head into my chest.

A collection of muffled, mumbles, came from her, "I can't understand you," I gave up my misery, and let out a small laugh.

She peaked up, and I eased back so she had some more room. "It's nothing." She quickly pulled out my phone and scrolled a bit before clicking the screen, holding the phone to her ear before I had a chance to pry further.

I heard a woman answer the phone, "Mom?" Kari replied, with a shaky breath. Tears brimmed, and clouding, her chestnut colored eyes. "Wait. What?!" They were quickly blinked away, and she stared at me, open mouthed, as she listened to her mother on the other end of the phone for the next few minutes.

* * *

"I can't believe him, he never changes, always just living by the whim of his impulses," She grumbled, as we closed the balcony door behind us. I looked up to see everyone staring at us expectantly.

We looked at each other, silently asking the other to respond. "Tai is – Izzy?!" Kari's irritation drained, replaced with a genuine happiness at the sight of our old friend.

He must have been walking in right when we did. I'd seen him a few months prior to leaving for America but I hadn't realized he would be here, Mimi hadn't said anything to us. Her hand was wrapped around his waist, and he looked comfortable around her in a way I hadn't seen before. Maybe they finally figured it out. Normally he was nervous, and fidgety, in her presence, the only time he ever second guessed the words that came out of his mouth were when they were directed at her.

"Kari, T.K., I'm glad to be able to see you both, I'm just sorry it's under these circumstances. You were saying something about Tai?" I almost let out a laugh, Izzy was always so direct, zero fluff. It's funny the way Mimi and him were so different in their delivery, but really, neither of them had any filter.

"Oh, yea." She huffed again, focused once more on her brother. "He's apparently coming to the States."

"Wait, coming here? Now?" Mimi looked around as if to say she was out of space.

"No. I mean, I'm not sure. My mom said he said he was coming to find me since no one was returning any calls. It could be any stop coming up, she wasn't sure exactly where he was flying into." She threw her hands up in defeat.

"Is this, like, a _really bad_ thing?" Colin, walked around the counter with an entire plate of cookies in his hand, while the other held one that he, gleefully, popped into his mouth.

Everyone in the room turned towards him, various looks of disapproval covering their features, "What, you guys want some?"

"No, honey, you keep eating," Sora rolled her eyes as he either, missed, or ignored her patronizing tone, and continued to munch away.

Kari rubbed her temples for a moment, choosing to ignore his obliviousness, "I mean, he just doesn't really think things through all the way sometimes. I honestly don't know if he's coming to look for me, or coming for Michael."

"He'll come for you. I don't think he just runs looking for trouble anymore." Sora's statement didn't seem to ease Kari's mind.

"I mean, when it comes to anything related to Kari he's never been clear headed, I wouldn't rule out any possibilities." Izzy, was more accurate as always. Tai had a way of letting all logic go out the window when it came to protecting his sister.

"What about you?" Matt questioned, sending me a look of concern. Distracting everyone from the thought of Tai for a moment.

"Mom," I said waving him off when he looked like he was about to speak again. "It's fine."

We were interrupted by a knock at Mimi's door.

* * *

April, was a publicist, in her late twenties that Mimi had met in college. They stayed friends when Mimi dropped out and choose to follow a culinary path, instead of a collegiate one. Mimi explained, that April worked at a large company for a while but broke off on her own about two years ago, mostly working with up and coming talent.

We introduced ourselves and she took a seat at the table with us. The guys gave us some space, Sora and Mimi stayed with me.

"I've heard so much about you both over the years, I'm sorry that it's like this that I'm finally meeting you all." She wasn't what I was expecting, she was a curvy, five foot nothing, bombshell. She came in with a pair of classic black heels, probably six inches tall, wearing a fitted but professional looking grey suit. She had a Bronx accent that made her sound too tough for her stature. Her hair was a mass of perfect black curls and her face was bare except for a dark burgundy lip stick. She had a sweet face, round almond shaped hazel eyes, tan skin, a small nose that tilted up a bit at the end, and a friendly smile, showing off her perfectly white teeth. She was fierce, in appearance and attitude, I needed that.

I fidgeted, rolling, and unrolling a napkin in my hands, until I blurted out one of my larger fears, getting right to the point, "I have a little money but-"

She reached across the table and gently took my hand, forcing me to drop the napkin, giving it a small squeeze. "Kari, this isn't about money for me. You aren't the first woman he's tossed around," She let me go, her hands flew in the air for emphasis. "Rumors have flown around for a while, but I think his family has always paid people off to keep their mouths shut. I'm honestly surprised they haven't reached out to you." She ended, pointing a finger at me before rolling her eyes, she was blunt, but it wasn't in a disrespectful way, maybe direct was a better word. She had a professionalism about her, but her expressions gave away what she was thinking easily. "People always try to pay off the survivor in cases like this, it's gross, like money gets you your fucking blood back. I watched some shit go down at one of the first companies I worked for, these men in power think they can get away with anything." She tapped her, perfectly manicured, nails against the table to emphasize her words.

"I've actually had my phone off since the news broke," I explained. I never even thought about the possibility of them reaching out to me.

She told me it was probably a good move for the time. She started to explain what she does. She would reach out to the media and be my liaison, and give me statements to use if we get bombarded on the street like we did at the hotel this morning.

"I just need to know what kind of statement you are looking to send, are you planning on seeking prosecution?"

Stillness washed over us, and six sets of eyes settled on me expectantly. I still hadn't made a decision about that. I wanted him to go away, and I wanted everyone to be safe from him, but I was horrified by what could happen to everyone if I _did_ go up against him.

"I'm not sure yet, I think I need to talk to a lawyer first."

"Mimi, have ya called Monica yet?"

"I did, I think she was planning on calling us tomorrow," April nodded, happy with that answer, her curls bounced around her head as she did.

She continued with her questions. "Ok, did you, or do you know the person who released the photos?"

"No, I never told anyone that they even existed," I thought for a moment. "Isn't it illegal that they were even released?"

"Technically yes, you could go after the hospital and police department, possibly file a lawsuit for releasing confidential information. If you were still currently with Michael that would be the route I would suggest, but being that you aren't with him, and don't want to look like you created this as a money trap I would suggest against it."

We all sat with that information for a moment. The amount of money I could be getting out of this was almost amusing to me. Michael, the hospital, and the police could all be giving me a payout but I wanted nothing to do with it. I couldn't imagine spending a penny of anything obtained from this, the idea of it felt filthy.

"I'm not looking for money," I said firmly.

"Okay, so what kind of statement _are_ you looking to send, if you are planning on prosecution we can say the photos are legitimate and allow the police and hospital involved to confirm them being authentic. Michael and his people can argue that someone else injured you, because as soon as you come out and say they are real he's going to go on the defense, but that's a problem for another day."

I tried to think carefully. Was I ready to be a victim? Was I ready for everything that would come next? Was I ready to possibly trash my career, something I'd seen happen to other women in the industry when things like this happened.

"I'm sorry, I'm so indecisive, I'm not sure exactly what to say. I'm afraid to say, 'It's true, he did it," because I'm not sure the legal path I'm going to take yet. I don't know if I'm ready to get dragged through the media and the court system." I grabbed a glass of wine Mimi had placed in front of me earlier and thought for a moment. "He kept my career on hold after I graduated, he's going to do what he can to make me look like a lier. I do know that I don't want to deny it and run away from this. I'm just trying to figure out how to keep my reputation intact."

"Screw him," I had started to take a sip of my wine and almost chocked on it. "I'm planning on slowly dragging him through the mud. Then, I'm gonna, metaphorically, twist his dick off and have him eat it, he'll never work again." Mimi was snickering.

"Don't you laugh at me, you know I'm serious," April tossed her pen at Mimi, playfully, "Shit, I'd burn is whole life to the ground if I could. Look, I know some other girls, who know some other girls, and I'm hoping I can get enough to come forward."

"You know for sure there are others?" I thought about what Kaci had said a few weeks ago in the club.

"Guys like this don't just snap, there is always a pattern, it was never just you, honey," She reached out to me again, trying to give me this piece as a source of comfort, the knowledge that it wasn't just me.

"We will drag him the way women get dragged every single day when allegations come up. I'm sick of men in this town thinking they own it," She gave me a reassuring tap and leaned back again, grabbing her glass and emptying it quickly.

"What do you know about the others?" I asked. Mimi had yet to tell me any stories of her own.

"Not much yet, but I've heard too many whispers to believe there isn't any truth to them. Knocking around this girl, or that. I'm working on a few contacts. As soon as something comes up I'll let you know."

"How's everything going?" I heard T.K's voice and turned around to see that Matt and him and joined us in the room. "You ok?" He placed his hands on my shoulders, gently massaging my tired muscles.

"Ah, is this the new boyfriend?" April gestured to T.K. suggestively, sending the two of us a wink. "Looks like you made a solid upgrade."

We both looked at each other and stammered a bit, not really sure of what to say, or how she knew about us.

"Oh, man you all really did drop off the face of the earth today, huh? It appears one of your crew blew you in." She replied, clicking on her phone and typing around for a moment before passing it to us.

"Bandmate confirms Kari has moved on," we scrolled through the horribly written article claiming that we were an official item.

"COLIN!" Matt's sharp, angry, voice echoed across the apartment.

"Yes," He happily trotted down the stairs, wiping cookie dust off his shirt, humming one of their new songs to himself, "What's up?"

"Did you tell reporters that these two were together?" Matt asked, slowly, with irritation seeping from each word.

Colin completely unfazed by Matt's overall attitude replied, "Oh yea! I meant to tell you guys, total diversion! They asked if she was dating someone in the band and I was all, he's not _in_ the band. Smart right!"

Everyone in the room, save for April, stared blankly back to him. She sat back, nibbling on the tip of her pen cap, enjoying the scene play out before her.

His face started to fall, "Wait, no? I mean, it's not like it's a total untruth..." He drifted off realizing that we didn't think his idea was as great as he did.

"This isn't _exactly_ a bad thing," April chimed in. "If Kari has moved on, and is in a new relationship, it looks a little less like a jilted lover who released photos on her own, to create mayhem in the life of the guy who _maybe_ dumped her. We can work with this if that is something you want."

I stared at the table avoiding everyones eye contact. T.K. and I hadn't had any time to figure out what exactly was happening with us. Now it felt like some sort of story to be used in the press, it made us feel dirty, and somehow less real.

"We haven't exactly." I paused, and looked back at him, but he strangely avoided my eye contact.

"It's okay," She saved me from answering. If I was her I would have been annoyed with me at this point. I couldn't give her a straight answer on anything.

"I know this is all very difficult. I can make a statement thats essentially a non-statement. We confirm the photos are real and talk about how difficult reliving it has been for you. I also have an idea for your show that I'd like to run by you. You're a theater girl right?"

I wasn't sure where this was going but I said yes and waited for her to continue.

"Okay so, I _loooove_ when an artist makes a statement with their music, it always feels very raw and passionate to me." A smirk appeared on her face like a school girl about to let us in on a secret. "Have you heard this song," She slid her phone into my hands, it was a new song but the look on my face mirrored hers when I saw it. Our eyes met, she had that devious gleam in her eyes again.

"There will be press at the show after everything that's happened so I say you take this into your own hands, livestream this song, coupled with what I'm going to release I think it makes for a powerful moment."

I started playing the song.

"Hell yea," Colin whispered, more to himself then anyone else. I met Matt's gaze, who gave me a nod in approval. I guess if I was going to send a message it may as well be blunt.

* * *

Alright everyone, I have the next chapter written I'm just editing and tweaking. What do you guys think please shoot me a review if you feel so inclined!


	20. Chapter 20

Edited 10/2/18

Chapter 20! This will probably be the last one to come out this year. Thank you to everyone who's reviewed this year and reached out to be encouraging! I'd like to have this story finished in the next few months, I feel like I have at least another 10 chapters to go but we will see where it goes. I'm reposting some old chapters as well, as the story goes on I keep needing to edit and change a bit. I'll have the dates at the top of each chapter if and when they were edited.

Spotify-Playlist FF

I don't own Digimon or the song "Still falling for you." by Ellie Goulding

* * *

" _It took us a while  
'Cause we were young and unsure  
With love on the line  
What if we both would need more  
But all your flaws and scars are mine  
Still falling for you"_

* * *

The group dwindled down after April left. Matt, Sora, Mimi, Izzy, T.K., and I were down in the living room. The guys had gone up to bed about an hour ago.

"There's something I've been wanting to tell everyone, but I've been worried about making things more dramatic than they already are," Mimi twirled her hair nervously around her finger.

"You're worried about making things _more_ dramatic," Trevor said sarcastically, he had been heading down the stairs with a cigarette in his hands. He stopped and leaned against the wall waiting to hear from Mimi, suddenly interested. He'd been so distant the past few day, I was shocked he even bothered to stop. Not that anyone blamed him, he needed to worry about himself, it was probably better he kept a distance.

"I don't really see how you can make things anymore of anything at this point," Kari said.

I was sitting on the end of the couch, with my back against the arm rest, she sat in front of me, curled in my lap, leaning against my chest. She sat up a bit, looking towards Mimi, preparing herself for whatever awful thing she might have to add to the saga. She was across from us on a chair, she pulled her legs up from the floor, and wrapped her arms around them.

"Okay," she took a deep breath, "Okay, so, you know I was in high school with Michael for a while, obviously. Well he was dating this girl, younger, he was a senior, I was a junior, and she was a sophomore. So anyway, they were dating and were _always_ together. Back then we thought it was cute but now that I'm older it felt … possessive maybe? She was always attached to him somehow, and he always looked like he was holding onto her a little tighter than he should have. He always had the actor personality, super outgoing, center of attention and such, you know. The girl-"

"The girl have a name?" Trevor interrupted, from his spot on the wall.

"Oh, yea, Cassandra. Sorry!" She pulled a strand of her hair back in her hand, twirling it nervously around her finger, and back, around, and back. "She was quiet, polite, more of a shadow than a person, always around but never making an impact. She was a tiny little thing too, skinny, dark, deep set eyes, long black hair, she was pretty in a really dainty way. Well, one day they just _weren't_ together anymore, just like that," she snapped her fingers. "He was suddenly actively on the market again. She was there one day, quiet, eyes shifty, almost like she was on high alert, the next day she was gone, then another, and another. There was an announcement a few days later … she," Mimi paused, biting her lip, as her eyes glazed over. Izzy, who had a spot on the floor in front of her, reached up and took her hand, reassuring her that she was doing okay. She took a shaky breath, and he released her hand, before she continued. "She was dead, gone, just like that."

There was a shift in the room, everyone stiffened, Kari sharply inhaled, and leaned further back into me. Sora and Matt were on the other end of the sectional, I saw her grab onto his arm, as her eyes widened, while his face was unreadable.

"First it was an overdose, that's what they said, but then there was a note found on her computer and they declared it a suicide. She was found at the bottom of a flight of stairs with heroin in her system. But, that girl never did a drug in her life. All her friends said so, but then everyone said she must have been so devastated from the breakup that she decided it was too much. Apparently, she had a brother who completely lost it and ended up into some hard drugs, and a few stints in rehab, her family totally fell apart after that. Micheal acted like the grieving boyfriend for a while but it always felt a bit like a part he was playing. Back then though, I never thought to question it."

Matt closed his eyes, rubbing his temples, trying to process the new information, "So, what you're saying, is that you think his girlfriend committing suicide has something to do with him being a dumpster fire of a human?"

"Well, no, see, this is were it gets weird, remember the brother I mentioned? So, I had a friend who dated one of his friends, and apparently before they sent him away to rehab he said he thought Michael killed her, that he pushed her down the stairs and make it look like an overdose."

"That seems plausible to me considering everything we actually know," Trevor said quietly, staring intently at his cigarette, as if it was suddenly more interesting than what Mimi was saying.

The room fell silent for a moment but it wasn't long before Matt, ignoring Trevor, verbally pounced on Mimi, "You've known all this time and you never thought it would be good to tell Kari that her boyfriend was possibly a murder!" He was visibly charged, his hands balled into fists.

Sora, grabbed onto one, forcing his hand open to take her own. He relaxed a bit and reluctantly sat back.

Mimi continued, "Kari, what did I say to you when I visited you at school that first time?"

I watched her search through her past, eyes crinkled up, before realization hit her.

"You asked if he was good to me, I remember thinking it was strange at the time," She said.

"I didn't think I could just share the whispers, because what if they were all wrong? What if you had a great relationship? What if I messed everything up."

"Weird time to find tact," Matt said under his breath. Sora pinched, and scolded him, but Mimi didn't look offended, she probably felt bad enough not saying something back then.

"Wait, so you're saying he's not _just_ a scum bag, but he's possibly a murderer. Isn't that a stretch?" Sora questioned.

"Based on the escalation patterns of various men who commit murder it's actually not far off. Many family annihilators and mass shooters, just as examples, have a history of domestic violence offenses or charges," Izzy interjected.

"He mentioned her," everyone focused their attention onto Kari. "He use to say, she was too – too weak," I felt her tensing up, I took her hand in mine and held on tightly. "The first time he hit me, I remember being so stunned. He said, 'Get up, I didn't _choose_ you because you were weak. I choose you because you weren't like the rest'"

"That choice of language seems odd. Saying he _choose_ you makes it sounds like he planned to seek you out specifically." Izzy mused.

The group fell silent again. Trevor headed wordlessly onto the balcony, the light from his cigarette glowing against the night sky.

"I need to get some sleep," Kari said, laying her head back against me, and letting her eyes fall shut.

"Can I take a look at your phone and computer? After hearing about the hotel I would like to make sure all your technology is safe." She nodded, shifted off of me, and got up without question to go get her things.

Once she left the room Matt turned to Mimi, "Can we get a better handle on the kind of person we are possibly dealing with?"

"I'll reach out to some old friends tomorrow."

Kari came back with her phone and computer, "Do you need my passwords?"

"Not necessary." Izzy headed into his office and quietly shut the door.

"I'm not sure if that's comforting or not," Matt said, smirking and shaking his head in the direction of the redhead.

"At least he's on our side." Kari said, heading up the stairs.

* * *

We quietly changed, I got into bed while she went into the bathroom to wash up. I was laying on my back staring at the ceiling when she returned. I was afraid of what I would see when I closed my eyes that night, and she didn't seem ready to attempt sleep either. She slid into bed and curled into my side, her head rested on my shoulder, as I ran my fingers through her hair.

"What if he did have a plan to find me all along, what if I fell right into a trap," I felt her shiver against me, from the central air, or the thought of Michael stalking her out, I wasn't sure. I wrapped the blanket tighter around us.

"Did he ever say anything else that stands out, or was weird, that could add to that theory?"

After a few minutes with no response, I let my hand stop moving, but rested around her slim waist. I felt my eyes start to get heavy but she pulled me back before I could drift away.

"He said he was jealous."

"Hmm?"

"He said, you were the lucky ones, _special_ , you all got to be together. No one else had a group our size, and no one else was as important as our group. He brought it up a few times, but I always ignored it because I never liked to talk about it, it only made me think about how we couldn't see them anymore, and I hated to dwell on it." She curled in closer to me, if that was possible. "This is making my head hurt."

"We should get some sleep, don't search too hard, or anything you remember will start to fit into this narrative."

"Probably."

I kissed her forehead, and settled my head against her own. Tomorrow was going to be a long day, they had their first show in the city and we needed to try to get to the club without being bombarded with photographers. I was thinking about what she said though, that he was jealous of our group, but honestly I don't know why anyone would be. The responsibility we had, and the friends we lost, who would go searching for that kind of thing? I stopped myself from trying to figure it out, my head was foggy, and I needed to get sleep as much as she did.

"T.K?"

I was jolted from the edge of rest once again. "Wha?"

"I'm sorry, it's nothing go back to sleep."

I took a moment to make sure I could properly respond, "No, It's fine. What were you going to say?"

I heard her breathing become less even and she shifted a bit before answering. "On the balcony today you looked like you were ready to lose it, I know that look. Why?"

"It's fine. It's fine."

"You weren't."

I didn't want to get into this right now. It was late, I was exhausted, and still embarrassed. I was suppose to be supportive for her, not falling apart and feeling triggered by the past.

"It's not important."

"It's important to me."

I shifted up, so I was sitting, and she readjusted to give me some space. I wasn't going to get any sleep if I didn't talk to her.

"The look you gave me when you took the phone, I just kind of freaked about it, and went to the worst possible conclusion." I shook my head at my own stupidity. "I shouldn't even be freaking out. We aren't actually a thing."

I heard her inhale sharply, "I – I didn't realize you felt that way."

I backtracked and started to panic again, "I didn't pick my words right, I'm sorry. I mean I'd like to – I mean we haven't really made any decisions, and you have a lot going on, and I don't want to be an added burden or anything, and I." She grabbed onto my hand.

"Breathe."

I was being ridiculous. The feelings from earlier came rushing back, the tightness in my chest, and no way to let it out without making things more complicated.

"What's the worst possible conclusion?"

My panic started to turn into frustration, and irritation. How could she ask that? After everything, how could it be this difficult to figure out. I needed to get out of that room before I said something I would regret, before I started fulfilling my own fears. I got up and, gently, pulled away from her.

"I'm sorry, I just need to take a walk or something."

"T.K.?" I heard the bed shuffle.

"Alone. Please?" I said it gently. I reached the door and before I could think, I let my stress get the best of me. "You should have done this earlier, instead of mumbling and ignoring it then." I headed out the door before she could protest again.

My brother, Sora, and Mimi were still up downstairs, wine glasses in hand, enjoying a hushed, but what appeared to be an animated conversation.

I spoke before they could address me, "Can I borrow your key Mimi? I just wanna walk for a bit, and I don't want to bother anyone if you go to sleep before I get back."

They looked between themselves, Mimi didn't ask any questions, she got up and retrieved her key. I thanked her, and quickly left the apartment.

* * *

I wanted until I heard a door close downstairs before I headed out of the room. I just wanted to get some water while trying to figure out what the hell just happened. I was surprised to see Mimi, Sora, and Matt huddled near each other in the living room.

"Uh, did you guys have an argument or something? T.K. just bolted out of here." Mimi didn't waste any time. I huffed, and headed over to them, Sora handed me her glass which was filled almost to the brim with white wine. I took a decent drink before handing it back, curling into one of the chairs across from them.

I explained his behavior, our conversation earlier, and how he stormed out. Sora and Matt looked between themselves like they knew something the rest of us didn't.

"Maybe he's just tired and stressed. I mean, what's happening is kind of intense, maybe it's just getting to him." Mimi was trying to be positive but Sora's look was telling me different.

"Sora? Matt? What do you two think?" I wasn't going to beat around the bush I needed something to go off of.

"Kari, I mean – isn't it obvious?"

I looked at Sora dumbfounded.

"Apparently not." Matt said. "Kar, look at our family. It was broken as shit. Dad and I left him with mom, I mean, I was older and felt like my father shouldn't have to be alone just because my dad and mom couldn't figure it out, but it was still like I was leaving him too. Mom was never home, and I never really thought about it much, because neither was dad. We essentially raised ourselves. Then he loses his friend, you weren't there for that, you didn't see him get all torn up. He cried all the time when we were young, then you came around and he just stopped, it was like he suddenly needed to be brave all the time. He wears this mask of ease but he's got to have a breaking point. We both have our way of dealing. I sulk, and he puts on this fake facade of sunshine, like everything is ok."

"But what would that have to do with us?" I interrupted him. I knew all of this. I knew his whole life, I knew he tended to put on a brave face, he was always hopeful, it was his core.

"Kari, _you_ left him too! _You_ left him with no explanation. Just like we left him as kids. People leaving is going to kind of fuck him up at this point, don't you think?"

Realization hit me, and I instantly felt like the biggest idiot on the planet. He thought I wouldn't forgive him. I won't confirm we are together. I knew it was too good to be true, that he could just get over everything to easily, I knew he'd need more time. Plus, finding out why I left, and what else we lost, I was just so stupid.

"I'm an idiot."

"No, you're just self involved but it's situational right now. Normally you're just as bad as him, with the self sacrificing bullshit, but you have some serious stuff happening right now so you're forced to face it." Matt was being blunt but he was right. I was so wrapped up in everything with Michael that I wasn't in anyplace to see what T.K. could possibly be dealing with. That didn't make me feel like any less of an ass though.

"He was broken when you left Kari. I was with him that day, the moment Tai left the house he totally lost it. Then, I never saw him lose it again, anytime someone tried to tear you down he was the first to defend you. He always believed you had your reasons. He's held it in all this time, and now you guys are thrown back together, and he's playing brave face, but he's obviously still dealing with what happened. There's a lot of trust to be rebuilt." Sora said, kindly handing her glass back to me, I quickly finished it.

"I mean, it seems pretty obvious to me that you still love him, and he's obviously never quit loving you, solidify your relationship. What are you waiting for? This stuff with Michael isn't going away tomorrow, what are you going to do? Keep your life on hold? That's exactly what Michael wants, don't let him continue controlling you."

Mimi was right, I knew she was right, but was I ready? Were we ready? The three of them started cleaning up to head to bed, leaving me alone with my thoughts, and the remainder of the wine. I poured myself another glass and curled up in the chair to wait for him to come back. We needed to have this out. I didn't want him tip toeing around me in his head, I just needed to figure out what to say.

* * *

I walked around the beach for about an hour, trying to think of a way to explain myself without sounding pathetic, but no matter what I came up with it all sounded the same. How do you tell someone you're afraid to make a mistake that might make them leave you again. I'd been trying to let everything go, I'd forgiven her, but I still held onto that lingering fear that if we really got back into this that she might run off.

It's funny, my mother was worried about us making their mistakes and she helped to bring that very anxiety to life by pushing her away in the first place. I guess, I didn't realize how much it still scared me until today. Maybe we needed to stop for now. Maybe it was too soon for either of us. The thought of that made my chest hurt all over again, how was I suppose to expect her not to run if I was out here debating the same thing.

I needed a fucking therapist.

I headed back inside hoping that the three of them had gone to bed, I didn't want any questions, I just wanted to pass out, it was close to one in the morning at this point. I quietly opened the door and was surprised to find Kari curled on a chair in the living room. Her hair was a little wild, sticking out slightly from where she had been laying on it earlier. She had a glass of wine hanging in her hand and an empty bottle on the floor, she must have come down while the others were still awake. She had one of my sweatshirts on, the shorts she had gone to bed in, and even though she looked exhausted she was still absolutely gorgeous. She could have been rolled in trash, and still been beautiful. How could I think about putting the breaks on this when I wanted to walk through the door every day to her. She turned her head as I closed the door, her eyes sad, and apologetic. I made my way over to her and took a seat on the sectional. I opened my mouth to talk but she stopped me.

"Wait, please before you say anything, can I say what I have to say?"

I sat back a bit, preparing for the worst, she probably didn't want to deal with my crazy crap while she was dealing with her own band of crazy. I agreed, waiting for her to put a knife in us.

"I've been stupid."

Not what I had been expecting.

"I just believed you when you said everything was okay, as if what I did wasn't fucked up and damaging, I was so happy to be forgiven that I didn't even think about the fact that just because we wanted it to be that easy doesn't mean it's going to be. I can never apologize enough for the choice I made and I do regret it, but that doesn't negate what it did to you." Her eyes were glassy. I wanted to respond, wanted to tell her not to feel bad about it anymore, wanted to tell her not to cry anymore, but she put her hand up to stop me again.

"I would love to sit here and tell you, promise you, that I will _never_ hurt you ever again. I want to, but I know how childish that is because we can't tell the future. Who knows what could happen? I can tell you that I would never intentionally hurt you. I can tell you that I will work every single day to build back your trust, and work to be someone you can rely on again.

I have a lot of shit right now, we both know that, and it doesn't make trying to rebuild a relationship easy. I feel selfish because I know putting you in the middle of it isn't really fair, but if you want to do this then I do too." She spoke so quickly her words were almost bleeding into each other. Her voice cracked, and her tear stained face glistening from the dim light in room.

I reached out my hand to her, she got up and slid it into my own. I pulled her quickly too me, my hand left hers and moved to her face, and I met her mouth with mine. It opened to let me in and I willingly took the invitation. I inhaled the scent of the soaps and oils she used, vanilla and sandalwood clouded my senses, her mouth tasted sweet from the wine. When we pulled back, I gently wiped away the remnants of tears that had streaked her face.

I kept waiting for life to be normal, I'd been trying not to push anything thinking that once things calm down we can really try again, but if I keep waiting that might never happen. The sky was falling when we met the first time, and beginning to fall when I stepped into her classroom a few years later, and again a couple years after that. Maybe it's not about waiting for the sky to stop falling but to realize that we've always made it through, and maybe it's because we had each other.

I tried to speak but she stopped me _again_.

"Wait."

I gave her an exasperated look but shut my mouth.

"You stopped me before, at the beach." She playfully glared at me.

"From what? I don't recall us stopping much of anything," I said, as I buried my face into the crook of her neck, trailing my mouth across her collarbone.

She sent her hand flying my way, smacking me lightly against the chest. "Ugh, That's not what I meant."

I chuckled, pulling back, "Okay then what did I stop you from?" I brushed a few stray hairs off her face and watched her struggle with the words once more.

"I," she paused, and huffed. "God, why is this so hard for me." She looked at me for help.

"You keep telling me to be quiet. I can't finish your thoughts for you."

"Sure you can't." She stuck her lower lip out, pouting.

I leaned in to her, inches from her face, wanting nothing more than to continue where we left off, she responded and started to meet me, but I pulled away at the last second. "I wont stop you this time." I said.

Her eyes were dark, her hand reached for my face, I leaned into it.

"I still love you, and you said 'me too' but maybe you meant something else that day."

I laced her fingers in my own, "I didn't mean anything else, I never stopped loving you, I'm not sure how I ever could." She pulled me down and kissed me again, we stayed like that for a while, probably too long tangled together in our friends living room.

We stumbled up to our bedroom at some point. I slid back into the covers pulling her close to me.

"So, does this mean we are tabloid official?" I questioned with the last bit of humor I had left that night.

I felt her nod, "If they want a show lets give them a good one."

* * *

Let me know what you think! Have a happy New Year everyone!


	21. Chapter 21

Edited 10/8/18

A/N: Hey everyone I'm sorry this has taken me way to long to update. I got so stuck writing this chapter, it's a lot of chaos and a lot of set up for the back half of this story. I finally have an outline straight through to the end. I think I have another 9-10 chapters so we still have quite a bit to get through. The next one is about half way done so I should have it up by the end of the month.

Follow on Spotify: FF Playlist

I don't own Digimon or the song, Fake Happy, by Paramore.

* * *

" _Oh please don't ask me how I've been  
Don't make me play pretend  
Oh no, oh what's the use  
Oh please, I bet everybody here is fake happy too"_

* * *

" _The past several days have been extremely difficult for myself, family, and friends. The photos that were released, while authentic, were released without my permission. It's put me into a position where I'm expected to make statements I'm not yet prepared to make. I can assure anyone reading this that I'm not looking for a monetary settlement, so I'll be refusing any calls of that nature._

 _I only recently healed from the injuries visible in the photos, I'd started to move on with my life, only to be reminded of one of the worst nights I've had on this earth. I've been touring with some of my closest, and oldest friends, and I'm endlessly grateful for the support they have given me over the past few months. Right now I'm focused on committing my energy to our tour until it's complete."_

I sat at the bar reading the statement April had sent out on Kari's behalf, the venue was buzzing with gossip, which was horribly nauseating. I was half listening to the chatter around me, picking up bits and pieces. Generally they were favorable of Kari, the evidence against Michael was too damning, but every few people called her a liar. Ironically, and sadly, most of them were girls around her own age. They'd talk of the money, of a _nobody_ trying to bring down a good man's career. It took everything not to say something but I knew it wasn't worth the scene it would create at the moment.

We got to the bar really early that day, wanting to avoid as much press as possible, so far no one had figured out where we were staying. The place was empty when we arrived, the owner came to let us in around noon, it was just past six now and show would be starting soon. They set up quickly this afternoon and then relaxed for the rest of the day. A small collection of photographers had collected around the venue but the security had done a really good job of keeping them at bay.

The venue was small, the stage set up was just big enough to fit the five of them, there was standing room for just about 100 down by the stage, four booths along the side opposite of the bar and some standing room in the bar area. They loved the small spaces, it made me a little claustrophobic, but they liked being as close to the crowd as possible.

The bartender was finishing up another order for me as the music started, one of the girls who was just trashing her inched closer to me.

"You here with anyone?" She leaned into the bar looking towards me suggestively. Her friend rolled her eyes, looking between the stage and her friend, clearly more interested in getting a good spot.

I slid some cash onto the bar as my drinks were pushed towards me, "Yea, she's on stage," I nodded my head in that direction, walking away.

I didn't turn back to see her face but the way she was sputtering as I left gave me the satisfaction I was looking for. If I couldn't loudly defend her at least I'd do it casually. I headed over to the right side of the stage reserved for the band and met up with Sora, and Mimi.

I saw April wave from the back of the crowd as she made her way over to us, "Did they just start?" She shouted over the music. We nodded, as the bouncer let her under the rope to be with us.

"What number is it in their set?" She yelled over the crowd to me.

I held up nine fingers instead of trying to shout over the music. She gave me a nod and put her phone away for the moment knowing she had some time.

* * *

The crowd roared around us, it was incredible how playing in a venue this small could make you feel like a superstar. Everyone was so close to the stage, they all know the words to your music, sing at the top of their lungs, and scream at you like you're old friends. I feel the vibration through the space and my body buzzes with excitement. I realize it's time for my moment, my message, and I feel a little like I might throw up into the crowd. Matt looks my way, and nods encouragingly, as I pull the mic out of it's stand.

"Alright everybody," The crowd screams around me and I have to pause, I smile in spite of everything else going on and am just happy for a moment. Happy because I'm lucky enough to still be on a stage at all, happy as I look towards our friends while they send gestures and shouts of support, and grateful for them, for everything we've been through and that they are all still with me.

"So, I picked this song special for tonight." The people around us suddenly hush, interested, nosey, one yells an expletive about Michael and I have to stop myself from agreeing. Instead I just smirk in their direction, and few people up front laugh.

The music started and some members of the crowd started cheering, recognizing the song. I felt her words sink into my skin and settle there. The moment I first heard it, it hit me right in the gut. Some people had started filming, which we had been expecting, all part of the plan.

I spent the last few months trying to put on the show of a stable and happy person. It was sick, and weird, but a part of me was happy it was all coming out now. I didn't have to hide behind sleeves and fake smiles anymore. The past few years had been a blur of parties, and award shows, where I never felt like myself. Pose for this camera, remember that producers name, laugh at the right time, it was this world of narcissists competing for the best compliment of the night. There were some that were a bit more genuine, but Michael didn't associate with any of them.

As I headed towards the bridge I stared blankly out into the crowd, dead eyed.

" _I know I said that I was doing good and that I'm happy now"_

I looked from the crowd to T.K. who was now standing alone to the right of us.

 _"I should've known when things were going good that's when I'd get knocked down"_

I walked toward him as the music picked up behind me, he handed me a drink, and I held onto his hand for a moment, meeting his eyes, before heading back on stage. It was a simple gesture, a wink to the crowd, but it sent the message. I saw it filmed by dozens of people in the crowd, some cheered catching the moment while others were trying to figure out why everyone was excited for me to get another drink. It was funny they way people thought they knew your life, that they were invested in the relationships you were in as if you were related. It wasn't the part of this that I loved, but I needed to learn how to play the game, at least for now, at least if I was going to get through all of this.

The song ended and I looked out into the crowd, "How's that for a fucking statement." I finished the drink in a single motion and turned to set my glass down as the crowd erupted. If the world wanted a show, I'd give them one.

* * *

"Brilliant! Absolutely amazing. You might be breaking the internet right now. People are all over it trying to dissect what it means. You have websites _literally_ taking apart every red carpet, and show, Michael and you showed up to over the last six months of your relationship." April was scrolling through her phone at light speed while we sat at the bar.

"This is _fascinating_ ," Mimi dragged out the last word showing everyone her phone screen. "So this site got a body language expert . Here they zoom in on how tightly he's gripping you, and you're always leaning slightly away from him, they say your smile seems forced."

Kari finished, what I think was her fourth drink that night, as Mimi and April were engrossed in the online gossip world. She looked like she was about to motion the bartender for another but I grabbed her hand into my own. She sent me a concerned glance.

"You ok?" I asked, motioning to her glass. She looked suddenly embarrassed, I'd been carful not to bring up her drinking. She was never out of control, but she could have enough without it being an issue that I could see that it might become one at some point.

"Sorry, it's become a default when I'm feeling stressed," she said quietly, careful not to bring attention to herself. Everyone was so engrossed in their phones that it didn't matter.

I placed my hand on the small of her back, she leaned into it gently, "You feel it too though right? Uneasy? This isn't going to get better right now, it's just a small success on a long road that I can't see the end of."

I did know what she was feeling, it was strange, growing up she was always so in tune to what was happening around us, empathic to her very core. I never felt like that on my own, but I could always pick up on it when I was around her. Maybe I was just grossly in tune with her, and her emotions, but she was right, things felt really heavy, even with everyone around us in minor celebration.

"Do you want to head back? Get to sleep early?"

She looked back at everyone, they were all so at ease at the moment, as she turned back the bartender dropped another drink in front of her. She looked down at it before picking up the glass and standing up.

"Maybe I can have one night, but I'm going to get some air, I'll be right back ok?"

She walked away from me towards the door, something in my stomach told me to follow her, but I knew she wanted some space for the moment so I held back. I looked around the bar as Mimi, Sora, and April were still attached to their phones. Matt, John, and Colin had abandon theirs as some girls had headed over to them.

I looked back at the door Kari had walked out of one more time before heading over to the guys.

* * *

The air was muggy, I thought leaving the bar would ease the tension in my chest but it only felt slightly less suffocating. I leaned against the cold brick wall and took a sip of my drink, I was starting to have those fuzzy tingles that come once the buzz has passed and you start leaning into straight up drunk.

I heard a car pull up near me and looked up. I felt my drink slip from my hands, and heard it crash to the ground, as I watched Trevor get into the car with a girl. The same girl I'd watched overdose a few years earlier. Lexi, I remembered the wild curly hair, how skinny she had always been. I'd remember her anywhere.

I pulled out my phone and texted Mimi to ask if Trevor had her keys, she quickly said yes, and asked why. I pocketed my phone. No one else needed to panic. Another car pulled up and some people piled out to head into the bar. I stumbled a bit as I pushed off the wall, suddenly regretting my last two drinks, I ran over and hopped in the back before the car could drive away. I quickly rattled off Mimi's address and watched the bar fade from view as we drove off.

Maybe I was mistaken, maybe that wasn't the same girl, but it wasn't like Trevor to run off with random girls. Colin, yes, but Trevor wasn't the type. He'd been so distant and quiet lately, and with everything going on I hadn't thought to ask if he was doing okay.

I tried to calm down and relax as we drove though the busy Miami streets, we got stuck longer then I would have liked, it felt like we were hitting every stop light, and it took everything I had not to hop out and start running. I knew I'd probably never make it, my head was starting to spin, so I tried to focus on breathing. When we finally reached her complex I paid and, quickly, exited. I took the stairs two at a time, slipping a few times, banging my knees and shins into the edge of the stairs as I went, knowing I'd be bruised up tomorrow. I stopped when I reached her door, realizing that I didn't have a key, I tried knocking but received no response. I tried turning the handle and the door easily opened. I leaned against the wall for a moment feeling nauseous, I crouched down and pressed my fingers into my forehead trying to calm myself.

I tried to refocus on the apartment but it was dark, and quiet, inside her condo. I let out a startled yelp as my phone buzzed in my back pocket, it was T.K. I saw a few missed texts, I was so focused on getting here I didn't even feel the others. I answered the phone, he asked what was going on, and where I went. I rambled off what happened, that I needed to follow them to make sure it was okay. When he asked if it was, in fact, _okay_ I realized I still didn't have an answer. I got up and closed the door quietly behind me, "Trevor?" My voice was shaky, and I received no response but thought maybe I had been too quiet. I made my way up the stairs and tried calling again, this time louder, but still no response. I got to their door, it was ajar, so I pushed it opened.

I said his name again, shaking, with tears brimming my eyes, knowing the response would be silence. They were sprawled on the bed unconscious, and on the floor there was a discarded needle, and tourniquet. The noise that came out of my mouth next wasn't distinguishable, somewhere between his name and a screech. I was so dizzy, I fell to my hands and knees, and my stomach lurched, I was sure anything I drank that night was now horribly stained into Mimi's floor. I heard T.K. faintly from my discarded phone, but let it go. His far away voice seemed to be yelling to the others, I heard 911 come out.

I pushed myself up, uneasy on my feet, and made my way to Trevor. I tried to shake him a bit, shouted his name, but he wouldn't respond. I grabbed my phone and clicked it to speaker, "Call 911," I shouted.

"They _are_ coming, What's happening?"

"I need _help_!" I shouted, more desperate, choking out a sob as I did. His voice came through as calmly as possible, soothing words of reassurance that help was coming, that they were coming, to hold on. I could hear the panic through his calm though, the hitch in his voice, the chaos happening in the background. I tried to shake it away because I needed to focus on here.

I tried to shake Trevor again but there was nothing, and Lexi looked even worse than him. I backed away from the bed, ignoring T.K. trying to ask me questions from the phone, and I started to rummage around the room desperately looking for what I needed.

I felt outside of my body, like my brain, and physical being were disconnected. I was watching myself scramble around the room, sobbing, screaming, looking for what I knew was laying at the bottom of one of Trevor's suitcases. As I searched, I tried to remember the way Michael's friend had used it at that party so long ago. My vision was blurry as I tore through his bag, when it wasn't there I screamed again, something in between a screech and the word help. As I searched through the second bag I hoped someone would come find us, or one of them would wake up, even the dead couldn't sleep with the noise I was making.

Suddenly there it was in my hands, they were shaking and it fell from them onto the floor. I carefully picked it back up and climbed into the bed. I straddled his half naked body, wiped my eyes so I could see clearly, and put the bottle to his nose and administered the spray. I immediately moved to the girl, I was frozen for a moment when I saw her face, the same girl from the party all those years ago, the same girl I watched get wheeled away. I was right. I shook myself away from the past and was about to use the spray on her, but men were suddenly walking into the room.

"EMS, we were notified of an emergency.

I backed away immediately and wordlessly pointed to the bed.

Two of men came further into the room and followed my signal towards the bed, another pulled me into a chair across the room and started questioning me.

"What happened?"

"I found them unconscious. Overdose."

"Do you know what they took?"

"There's a needle on the floor."

"My name is Allen, what's your name?

"Kari."

"Are you high right now?" He shined a light in my eyes as he questioned me.

"No. I've been drinking though."

"Used bottle of Narcan over here," one of the people near the bed shouted.

"Did you administer that?"

I nodded back to him.

"Who did you use it on?"

"Trevor."

"The male?"

I nodded again.

He started to pull me out of the room, I tried to fight him but he told me they needed space to work. He kept asking me questions that I was half answering. What was his full name? Her full name? How did I know him? Had I ever seen her before? When? What was my name? Where was I? Did I know today's date?

They rushed them out of the room, on separate stretchers, shouting vitals back and forth. I followed them into the elevator and out into the night. They loaded them into separate ambulances. I tried to get into his but they stopped me, I started fighting, screaming, that I needed to go. I had to be there. Allen, the one who had been asking me the questions got out and pushed me back a bit, trying to calm me. He said something about them needing to concentrate in the ambulance, that he could take me in separately but everything got foggy. I heard someone call my name but the dark sky had gone white before my eyes, I felt warm arms around me, before I felt nothing at all.

* * *

Alright everyone, the next three chapters will connect everything together and answer some questions that are probably coming up. Have theories? Share in the comments, I'd love to hear what you think. Until next time!


	22. Chapter 22

Edited 10/8/18

I actually updated when I said I would! Success! I had this one pretty much set it was just a bit of editing. Hopefully I get the next one up in the next two weeks or so.

Spotify: Playlist FF

I don't own Digimon or the song The A Team (Ed Sheeran)

* * *

" _An angel will die  
Covered in white  
Closed eye  
And hoping for a better life  
This time, we'll fade out tonight  
Straight down the line"_

* * *

She looked so small in the bed, fragile, like when we were children. Maybe that was my mistake, seeing her as someone fragile, someone that could be easily broken. Maybe if I'd treated her more like an equal, maybe she wouldn't have hidden from me, maybe she'd have stayed. This was the spiral my head had been going through over the last few days, ignited after the photos were released, rekindled after having been buried away for the past few years.

The color had started to return to her face, over the past hour or so, as they pumped her body full of fluids. I heard her screaming as we were getting out of the car, I ran and helped the EMT catch her as she slipped out of consciousness. Stress, alcohol, and exhaustion, the hospital said. They asked about her former injuries once they got a look at her. It was awful, listening to everyone retell what they knew, horrifying to know none of us where ever there to stop it. It made me hate myself, for being so fucking distant over the past few years, I should have reached out more and should have tried harder. Now though, here I was, praying it wasn't too late to help her, and praying it wasn't too late for us.

Her hair was longer, and styled differently, her face covered in the remnants of heavy makeup, and she had this wild tattoo on her forearm, I leaned forward to study it, tracing the fingers over the edges. It didn't matter how small she looked lying in this hospital bed, she wasn't a little girl anymore. I wasn't looking at my kid sister, that I knew almost as well as I knew myself, I was looking at a woman who was a stranger to me. I'd seen videos of her on stage, she had this commanding presence that I wasn't familiar with, she'd always kind of stood by and let everyone else shine when we were growing up, but it seemed that, like most things, was a situation of the past. I was happy for her there, maybe getting away was the only way for her to get to that point, maybe there was some silver lining to all of this.

I ran my hands through my hair, short now after years of growing it to unruly lengths, rubbing my face trying desperately to stay awake so I wasn't sleeping when she woke up, afraid if I closed my eyes she would disappear again.

When I first saw the news I was frozen, and the texts that came shortly after made it all real, made real what I hoped was a cruel hallucination. Seeing her like that, so broken, skinny, and small, made me sick with rage. I remember yelling, and throwing my water bottle across the room, and then nothing for a few minutes, blacked out with anger. Before I knew it I was on the phone with my mother, telling her I'd go take care of it, but I didn't even know what that meant. I just knew that I needed to be here. Thankfully, I didn't have to make the trip alone, a friend had shown up just before I paid for my ticket, normally so over the top but he was oddly calm.

I was ashamed at how we'd just let her go, once she disappeared for school it was like she was some sort of distant relative. She never came home to visit, and once she started dating Michael we heard from her even less, by the time she started showing up in magazines with him it was like looking at a stranger. I spent so much time trying to figure out why she'd gone, so many hours, and days, retracing the steps and conversations of the weeks leading up to it, but nothing ever made sense. One day I'd come to the conclusion that she must have been hiding some huge part of herself from us, some part of her she didn't think we would support, or understand. Now though, now I felt like I was back at square one trying to retrace all our steps again, trying to dissect how a girl, so strong willed, and brave, could end up with, and stay with, a guy who would abuse her like that. How she could go from T.K. to Michael. I knew it wasn't so simple, I assumed he'd manipulated her, but it was still so hard to fathom.

She started to stir, mumbling, rubbing her eyes and trying to adjust to the uncomfortable hospital lights. Suddenly, she shot up and started yelling a name, I think it was the guy they brought in. I told her it was okay, he was okay. She looked over and her eyes widened, shock and fear crossed her features, before they settled into what looked like overwhelming sorrow. She sat back, and looked down to her lap, opening her mouth a few times in what looked like an attempt to say my name before it finally escaped her lips, "Tai."

So much about her was so different, but her voice, still melodic and soft, put me at ease in a way I didn't know I needed.

"Hey there, sis." I tried to smile, but her eyes cracked open before me and rivers escaped them. I moved to capture her in my arms and she clutched onto me, she said sorry over, and over again, and my own dam cracked right along with hers. We sat like that, crying into each other until we were both empty. I pulled back, and she reached up towards my head, "You're hair, it's all gone."

"A lot has changed," I said, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. "Tell me everything?"

* * *

"How do you think she's doing?" I was shifting in my chair every few minutes, anxious and uncomfortable after being on the plane all day, only to end up sitting in an emergency room all night.

"She's been through worse." T.K. said darkly, he hadn't said much since we'd arrived. I was surprised that he didn't insist on being in the room with her, they said he could stay with Tai but he wanted to give the siblings space, knowing it would be a shock for her. I looked at my best friend, his tired eyes, and the weary line of his mouth. Everything that was happening was clearly taking a toll on him, and I was sure that he hadn't spent one second thinking about himself.

The two of them were one in the same, always putting everyone else first, but this time there was no cheer to keep everyone up. He was out of it.

"You know you look like shit right?"

I watched his group shift uncomfortably at my comment. Matt's eyes widened looking between the two of us, T.K's foot stopped twitching and he squinted towards me.

"Good thing I have no one to impress at the moment," a smirk twitched at the corners of his mouth.

There he is.

Everyone relaxed, Matt snorted and settled back into his chair.

"Why did you end up coming with Tai anyway?" Sora asked kindly, if not slightly amused, she was leaning onto Matt tiredly.

"I mean, I'm either keeping Tai out of jail, or joining him. I haven't decided yet."

"And here Izzy was saying Tai wouldn't charge right into battle," Mimi said, with an eye roll.

"Whatever helps him sleep," I saluted in her direction.

I nudged T.K., "Cmon dude, you need some coffee, and I need some food." He scanned the group unsure, Matt told him to go and he would text him if they heard anything. I stayed quiet until we were far enough away from everyone else.

"We've seen some stuff like big, scary, shitty stuff, and I've seen people beaten down, but you and that group look wrecked. Michael really did a number on you guys, huh?"

He signed and slipped his hands into his pockets, sulking down towards the floor, "You have no idea, it's like he's everywhere, even now, this with Trevor." He paused, his brow furrowed up and he ran a hand across his tired face. "I don't know."

"How's she been holding up?" I prodded, walking slowly, scuffing my shoes against the floor as I went.

"Everyday is different, even on the good days there is this shadow in her eyes, she's always on high alert. Always waiting for the next crisis."

"Remember meeting him way back? He was a bit full of himself but I never imagined he was such a piece of human garbage." I tried to think back, find something in those moments that might have foretold what he would become, but there was nothing, just an arrogance, that I honestly shared at that age.

"You don't even know, he came after her in _public_ at a show before we left the city." His voice grew a little too loud, he took a breath, trying to calm himself. "Davis, it was like a game to him, he believes he's untouchable. We had witnesses, and everything, and he was still so smug."

I stopped before going through the cafeteria doors, shocked at the new information. "Wait, you guys saw him, and he walked away alive?"

"Back to witnesses, can't exactly get ourselves thrown in jail, I was honestly more worried about making sure she was okay. I've been scared before, ya know? I've seen her in danger, I've seen her hurt, but not like this, not from someone's bare hands."

"Yea the photos were-"

"I know." He interrupted, not needing the reminder. We stood there, quiet for a moment, before someone came through the doors reminding us of our task.

I looked back as I held open the door, and refocused on the current human disaster in front of me, "How are you?"

He didn't say anything as he walked over to the coffee bar. I was about to ask him again, assuming he hadn't heard me, but he turned around, stirring his coffee, before bringing his attention back to me.

"I don't know, it's a lot, some days I want to kill him. I mean that – that's fucked up right?"

"I mean what _he_ did is fucked up so I can't blame you, but that's not what I'm talking about. How are _you?"_ I pointed towards him, he was unbelievable, no wonder he was a mess.

"Tired," I gave him a pointed look. "Anxious," He shrugged, "I'm just trying to keep it together. I'll feel better once she's up."

I gave up, he wasn't going to give me anything else specific at the moment, "How are the two of you otherwise?"

There was a ghost of a smile that crossed his face, "We do the best we can given the circumstances, we're trying to rebuild in the middle of a battle, and that's not easy, but we're trying."

I listened intently as I sorted through snack bags, waiting for him to bring up what happened all those year ago, by the time I'd paid I realized he wasn't going to bring it up unprompted.

"So, Did she give you a reason?"

"Yep," he was firm, telling me in one word, that the subject was closed.

"A good one."

"Yea," his response to this was quieter, I decided it was enough.

"Do I need to have the, don't break my boy's heart, conversation."

He smirked pushing me a bit. "Shut up."

There was the lightness, even for a moment, if that was why I came, it's enough.

* * *

We talked for about an hour as the nurses came and went, they allowed me to be discharged since there was nothing seriously wrong with me. I told my brother everything while we waited. I started backwards, and ended with the pregnancy, and leaving home. His head was down for a while, he'd stopped fidgeting once I got back there, back to the root of everything.

"I never once thought," he was talking more to himself then to me, it was quiet, gentle. He looked up at me with sad eyes I didn't recognize, sad eyes that didn't belong on my brother, who was normally upbeat to a fault. "Does he know?"

I told him yes, that we'd talked about everything, and were working through it the best we could.

"I could never figure it out, never understand what was so big, or bad, that you couldn't tell me. I'm sorry you were all alone." I'd have started to cry again but I felt like I'd cried enough for a lifetime. I had all these people in my life, the selflessness and love I was surrounded by, and I was so stupid to think differently.

"I should have-"

"We all should have something at some point," he said, taking my hand and giving it a small squeeze. "No more secrets?"

"No more secrets." I said back.

"Tell me about _your_ life?" I asked.

A smile lit up his face, his eyes brightening up, back to normal as told me about school, that his studies have maneuvered him into political science, which was both surprising, and unsurprising. Tai had always liked the role of leader but growing up he had been pretty oblivious to politics, he'd thought about being a police officer, but he wanted to be able to change things from the top. I was really proud of him, he had matured so much over the last few years, he was more calm and thoughtful when he spoke, a far cry from the often rash, and blunt, comments from his youth.

I hadn't realize how close T.K. and my brother had become after my disappearance, T.K. never once mentioned it. Apparently they got coffee once every week or two, and texted most days, I think it was the connection to someone in our original group that they both craved so much. It's not that either didn't make friends easily but there was an understanding we all had between each other. Tai always felt a responsibility to T.K., but it almost seemed the other way around the way Tai spoke, with T.K. dragging him out of the house if he stayed cooped up too long. I hated the effect my leaving had on the both of them, I'd make it up to them, I promised myself.

Once they let me go we went to find everyone else, because they told me I couldn't see Trevor yet, he was stable but they were still running tests and they anticipated he would be unconscious for a while. We found everyone waiting in a corner of the ER. John, and Colin, were both half asleep in their seats while Sora, Matt, and Mimi were immersed in a hushed conversation.

Sora saw me first, she sent me a gentle smile, "How are you feeling?"

"Just tired, I-" I stopped when I heard feet running down the hallway towards us, and I turned to see T.K. rushing towards me.

"Are you okay? Should you already be up?" He ran his hand gently across my face, searching my eyes for a sign that I wasn't going to break.

"I'm okay, tired and worried, but I'm okay." I leaned into him and he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. When he pulled back I noticed someone standing a few feet behind him, I looked around him and saw the last person I ever expected to see.

"Davis?"

I felt my stomach go up into my throat, I couldn't read his expression, but I didn't have to. He crossed his arms and gave me an uncharacteristic stern look.

"You left me all alone with the two of them to take care of, you owe me," he whined. I started laughing, it was just a giggle at first but it grew, he smirked and twerked his head as if to say, 'get over here.' I went over and wrapped my arms around his waist, hugging him tightly.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, through my laughter.

"I just told them, I'm either keeping Tai out of jail, or joining him. I haven't decided yet."

"Sounds about right," I signed, shaking my head. He looked so much like the boy I remember, just older, his hair was still unruly and sticking up in odd places, his auburn eyes still held this hint of mischief. He'd grown, but was still slightly shorter than T.K., and had stayed lean from years of soccer.

Our reunion was short lived, "Are you all here with Trevor Levinson?" Everyone grew silent and turned their attention to the doctor who walked towards us. He was probably in his mid forties, with tan skin, and dark hair that was beginning to get little flecks of grey throughout.

The guys shared a look, before they stood up and headed over, "Yea we came in with him," Matt said, taking the lead, as he always seemed to do when it came to Trevor.

"Your friend is stable for the time being, he will need to stay for observation and we would like to run a full toxicology report. Has he ever had something like this happen before?"

"Yeah, he's been out of rehab just shy of a year, we thought he was doing really well," Matt trailed off, ashamed, like he was somehow responsible.

"The girl?" I asked

The doctor turned to me.

"The girl that was brought in with him. What about her?" The doctor took in our group for a moment, we were a mess, the girls in various states of disarray from crying through mascara, and the guys with their shirts wrinkled and untucked from awkwardly sitting in the waiting room for hours, hair all askew from nervously running their hands through it. We probably looked like junkies ourselves, but what did that even look like, I'd been around some of the most glamorous people in the world who'd done drugs I hadn't even heard of before moving here.

"We treated you right? Where you the one who found them?" His gaze softened towards me as I confirmed that it was me. "None of you know the female?" The group collectively said no, but I butted in.

"Her name is Lexi Lawson," realization came over part of the room. "I don't _know_ her but she was an acquaintance."

"Having her name is very helpful, we had been trying to figure out how to notify next of kin." He paused, writing on his clipboard before looking back to me once again. "She was gone before she arrived at the hospital, the EMT's said she was DOA, there was nothing anyone could have done for her."

I felt like the wind had just been knocked out of me, that wasn't right, she hadn't felt cold. Did I remember it all wrong.

I felt a gentle hand placed on my shoulder, and I looked up towards the doctor, "Your friend is only alive because of _you_ ," I was startled by his words, and still stuck on Lexi being gone. "If you had not acted so quickly he might not have made it. He's lucky to have people who care so much about him. I would look into another rehab facility. The police will want to talk to him about the incident before he's discharged, it's standard procedure when a death is involved." He turned back towards Matt and the guys. "The best thing you can all do right now is get some rest, he will probably be out for the next few hours."

We listened to his footfalls make their way down the hall as silence fell back over the group. I looked around and saw how exhausted everyone was, not just from tonight but from everything we had gone through the last few months, and if I was right in my assumptions, this was all somehow connected.

"Jesus Christ," Matt's head fell into his hands as he collapsed back into his chair. "He was clean for months, how the hell did this happen."

"Maybe we went back out on the road too soon?" John, said.

"It's over guys, after everything we just need to go home. He needs to go back into rehab, Kari needs a lawyer, and we all need to relax for more then ten minutes," Matt sighed and looked up at the ceiling, John, and Colin agreed.

"I'll start calling the venues," John said pulling out his phone somehow forgetting it was the middle of the night.

"Wait until tomorrow. None of it matters right now, I just want him to wake up so we can find out what the hell happened. Who know's if he's going to get charged, a girl is dead, he could be facing jail time."

"But, how did he know her?" Mimi was squinting her eyes, deep in thought, trying to put together the puzzle of how they were connected, if they were at all.

"That's what I want to figure out, because it doesn't feel random at all, but," I trailed off, afraid to sound insane if I kept going.

"But what?" Matt prodded.

"I knew her through Michael," I turned back to T.K. "The girl I told you about at the party, it was her."

His eyes grew wide as his mouth fell open, "Shit," he said, slumping down into closest seat.

"What are you talking about?" Matt's frustration was growing.

"She overdosed at a party Michael took me to once, but they kept it really quiet because they didn't want the show to get bad press. Michael was so cold about it, and was always off when she would come up. I thought he just didn't have respect for her, but maybe they had a history, I never wanted to know the possibilities."

"Wait, so he could be attached to this too? This is fucking insane." Colin was pulling at his hair, irritated, and tired. "Why Trevor though?"

"He hated him." Everyone turned back to me, almost moving forward on their seats to hear me. "It was strange, when I would see you guys on the seldom occasions I did before leaving him, he'd always talk about how Trevor was total trash. The party with Lexi had happened before I started to see you guys, so I always assumed he just really hated anyone with a serious drug problem, I don't know. Things didn't stick out back then, I was too wrapped up in my own stuff, but now-" I bit onto the inside of my cheek, stressed, and trying to think, everything felt so crazy but at the same time it seemed even crazier if it _wasn't_ connected.

"Trevor hated him too," John, nudged Colin. "Before we knew anything, do you guys remember that night Kari left us at the club after her show. Trevor just kept on that he didn't trust him, he was worried about her, we all just assumed he had a crush on you." Colin confirmed his story while Matt seemed lost in thought.

"I once told him you were off limits, if anything ever happened with you and Michael," the corners of his mouth turned up for a moment as he turned to T.K., "I said she was spoken for, half joking, but his response was weird. He got quiet and told me I had it all wrong, that you reminded him too much of someone he once knew. I never asked him anything else about it, it seemed like a story he didn't want to hash out," his face fell again, guilt and regret clouding his icy, blue eyes.

The room grew quiet, everyone piecing together a different story in their heads. Sora, always the voice of reason said we all needed sleep, that we could get answers from him when he woke up. Matt insisted on staying behind as he forced Sora to go back with us, saying he was fine on his own. Tai and Davis had already booked a hotel, which put Mimi at ease with one of the rooms unusable at the moment. Matt said he would send us a message once Trevor was awake.

Everyone separated once we got back to Mimi's, Izzy was hold up in his office so Sora shared Mimi's room, while John and Colin took the living room. T.K. and I silently made our way up the stairs and into our room. I sat onto the bed and put my head in my hands, I wanted to cry but I was drained, I felt felt hollow, and empty.

"Hey," T.K.'s hands ran through my hair, catching mine, and pulling them away from my face. "There's an end to all of this, I don't know where, or when, but it will come," I tried to respond but he stopped me, "And I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving you." I looked up at him, his normally light, ocean blue eyes, were covered in the shadows of the room, making them look dark, and intense. He knew, he knew I'd tell him to go again, to protect himself from all of this, but it was useless and I wanted it to be. I didn't want him to go. He lowered his head to kiss me, just meaning for it to be a moment, a kiss goodnight before we got ready for bed, but I held him too me. I kissed him harder, pulling him down onto the bed as I pushed myself back further. Every time he pulled back I'd hold him tighter to me, I went to pull his shirt over his head and he finally pulled away.

"Kar-"

"Please," he looked about to protest and he had every right. The timing was awful but I wanted him so badly then. Maybe it wasn't fair, but loving him was the only thing I was certain of in all the chaos. I wanted to feel something, besides the scratching open wound that kept growing in my chest. He brushed the hair away from my eyes, I could see him battling with himself, but I could tell he wanted it too, by the way his hand was tracing lines up and down my back, and the way he was leaning into me. I pulled him in and kissed him again, feeling his objections crumble. I forgot what it was like when someone _really_ loved you, and he spent the night reminding me.

* * *

I felt another headache approaching but knew I'd taken far too much aspirin at this point, after everything I'd found it was a wonder I was even still able to look at my computer. I'd talk to everyone tomorrow, after everything they had been through tonight I didn't think it was appropriate to wake them now. I regretted not being home earlier, I had a meeting that ran past the expected end time, once I got home it was already too late.

I'd gone back into his computer once everyone left and found surprising new evidence. I couldn't figure out if he was really this cocky, or if his intelligence was just this subpar. He had so much saved, photos, and videos that went back years. Trophies, the way it seemed, like a serial killer would keep. At one point I went down a rabbit hole researching sociopathy, which seems to be a reasonable conclusion based on information I have so far. Once I found the video I knew we had enough, now we just needed a lawyer, and officers we could trust.

* * *

A/N: Alright everyone, next chapter we find out what Izzy saw on the computer and we finally get Trevor's story. Until next time!


	23. Chapter 23

Let's get right back into it.

I don't own Digimon or Wasted by Cartel

* * *

"Twenty three now, got his life in his hands  
He's looking all around and he doesn't understand  
Cause life's too busy, things get in the way  
We all feel alone every single day

Eighteen couldn't wait to move out  
It's been five years and now he's starting to doubt  
Whether all my dreams are just aimless stares  
Looking out to someplace that isn't there"

* * *

Why am I still alive?

I pulled at the threads in the blanket that covered my body, a body I'd attempted to destroy over, and over, again for the last ten years of my life. I wasn't trying to die, there was no intent there, I just never expected to wake up this time. It felt different when I was going out this time, it felt final.

Matt was there when I woke up, sitting forward, fidgeting. He looked a mess, dark circles under his bloodshot eyes from his refusal to sleep, his anger and disappointment could really keep him awake. He called a nurse once I started to sit up, they came in and checked my vitals, asked me if I knew what happened, and explained everything they'd had to do to keep me alive. It was a familiar situation that I'd hoped to never end up into again, I was such a stupid prick for doing this to myself.

When I saw Lexi there that night something snapped in me, all the resolve I'd built up, after all the stress of the tour, and Michael, I was just so desperate for anything to numb the world. After all, I'd helped create the chaos we were stuck in.

When Matt finally came back and sat down, he said nothing. We stayed like that, in silence for a while, him patiently waiting for some sort of explanation, while I tried to figure out where to even start. I knew I needed to wait though, I didn't think this was a story I could tell more than once.

"Call Kari?" My voice betrayed me. I sounded weak, young, and scared. I'd done everything I could over the past few years to avoid feeling any of that, but here I was now, feeling buried in it.

His brow furrowed, confused, shaking his head. "It's seven in the morning, they only left around two it's too early."

"Please," I sounded like a child begging their parent, small, and desperate. "I can only do this once and she needs to be here for it."

His interest peaked, he nodded and left the room with his phone in his hand. I wasn't going to ask for forgiveness, I couldn't, all I could do was finally give them the truth.

* * *

I was jolted awake by the buzz of my phone under my pillow.

"mhhmello," I attempted to answer. I heard Matt's tired voice on the other end. Trevor was awake and he wanted to talk to us. I mumbled back enough to relate that I'd be there as soon as possible, but when I asked if the guys should come he said no, just me. It was weird, being singled out, but maybe they'd told him that I was who found him. I was too tired to try to figure it out. I quietly slipped out of bed, a smile appeared across my face as I looked back at T.K's sleeping form, images of the night before flooded my mind and my face got hot. I hurried into the bathroom to wash up. It was like we'd never been apart, I'd forgotten what it was like for someone to touch you in a way that wasn't just about them.

I pulled my thoughts away, remembering where I was going, and the place we all found ourselves. I scrubbed last night's makeup from my face and tried to brush my hair until it was acceptable, but there were still bumps and kinks, so I found a beanie laying on the floor that T.K. had been wearing a few days earlier and pulled it over my hair. I headed back into the bedroom and started to change, I found a pair of leggings and a T-shirt of his to throw on. I was smoothing out the shirt when I heard him stirring.

"It's still early, where are you going?" He spoke gently, but there was a weariness in his eyes.

"You brother called, Trevor is awake and was asking for me," he visibly relaxed.

I wanted to kick myself, I wasn't even going to leave a note. It pained me that there was still this sliver of distrust between us, but I was just going to have to keep working at it, prove that I wouldn't disappear again.

"Did he say why?" He said, with a yawn.

"It's weird," I paused, struggling to put on a sock. "Apparently his words were, I can only tell it once and she needs to be here."

He started to shift himself out of bed, "I want to hear this too."

I thought about telling him to stay, it was still so early and Matt had said not to get the others, but I wanted him there. I was so sick of doing everything on my own the last few years, I wanted his support and I wasn't going to push it off now.

I watched him wander around the room, grabbing his clothes off the floor, rubbing his eyes, trying to wake himself up as he went. He looked around before his eyes settled on me, he pointed like he was going to say something but then shook his head with a smile, before heading into the bathroom.

"What?"

He peaked out with my brush in his hands and a hair tie in his mouth, "You took my hat" He dropped the brush and threw his hair up. "And my shirt."

"That's my hair tie," I replied flatly.

"One of us had to brush their hair," he smirked, heading out of the bathroom. He pulled off the hat and, playfully, tossed it back at me.

"Hey! I was trying to rush." I pouted, throwing the hat back on and crossing my arms moving towards the door.

He pulled me toward him and gave me a quick kiss, "Just teasing. You can take whatever you want."

I smiled as we headed out, things felt light for a moment, but just like any other day it seems it wasn't meant to stay that way. We ran into Izzy as we were heading down the stairs.

"You're both up early. Good, I need to talk to you and it's probably better that it's done with just the two of you first."

T.K. and I looked between each other, "We were on our way to go see Trevor. Matt said he was asking for me.

"Well, going in with the information I have might help, what I assume, is going to be an uncomfortable conversation."

We shared another look before I pulled out my phone to text Matt, telling him that Izzy needed to talk to us first.

He led us into his office and shut the door behind us. My stomach was turning into knots, if he didn't want anyone else in here it couldn't be good. He motioned for us to take a seat on the couch. He brought his laptop over, set it on the coffee table in front of us, and sat across form us on the floor. He started typing away as we sat in silence, waiting for him to break it and give us some sort of hint about what he'd found. We learned long ago, questions before his information came weren't helpful, and could lead down to long side stories. He huffed, before looking up at the both of us.

"I'd have asked Kari in here alone, but I know that's not an option with the two of you." He paused, and made a few clicks with his mouse. "I was able to hack into Michael's computer files, he's-" He looked up like he was searching for words in the ceiling. "Bold," was what he settled on.

"How easy was it to hack into his computer?" I shouldn't have been surprised, Izzy had always been ridiculously good at this kind of thing, but I'd have thought Michael would have more protection with his things.

"I said he was bold, not smart. He made it extremely easy. His passwords are," He took a drink. "Amateur. The good news is, I'm pretty sure you'll have what you need to have him convicted of," he paused again carful to choose his words. "Several things." He stopped again, his eyes drifting back up, and it was making me nervous. It wasn't like Izzy to be careful with his words, he tended to be blunt to the point of rudeness, not that he ever meant it.

"Kari, there is video and photographic proof of physical abuse, and not just of you, but of several women as well."

As much as this information sickened me, I wasn't surprised, after finding out he had bugged our rooms.

"Wait, he saved evidence of all of it?" Disbelief crossed T.K.'s face.

"It would appear to me he keeps them like a trophy, it's common among criminals who commit serial crimes, which seems like an accurate way to describe what he's done."

"How many are there?" I asked.

"All together, sixty three videos and one hundred and thirty seven photos, there are five different women including yourself. There are thirteen videos of you and sixty six photos. The photos look to be still's of the video's that he took."

I felt my stomach crawling up into my throat, T.K. put his arm around me, but nothing eased. I pushed my nausea down and clenched my fists trying to calm myself.

"The videos are not sexual in nature, they all stop before anything like that happens, the part of it he seems to want to save is the physical abuse."

I nodded, feeling only slightly better. "I need to see it." The words tumbled out before I could stop myself. It felt sick, but I needed to know what he watched, what he needed to see himself do to me over and over again.

"Would you like us to leave?" Izzy asked.

"You said the photos are stills from the videos right?"

"That's correct."

"Just open that file."

I did want to see, I wanted so badly to know, but the idea of T.K. watching what he did to me made me just look at the photos, I didn't want him to know what I'd let happen to myself.

Izzy handed his computer to me, I scrolled through quickly, remembering the way his hands felt on me as I clicked through the images. I remembered each night, all of them burned into my memory, and there were others, but he'd saved the worst. I closed the file and handed it back to him. Izzy was right though, there was enough there to put him away, at least I thought so.

"Now, about Trevor.-"

"What?" T.K. and I both interrupted him.

Izzy clicked around once again before turning the computer to us, and pressed play. It was Lexi, standing there with Michael. He handed her a baggy, "Don't forget this one is for him or you'll end up fucking killing yourself." She nodded to him.

"I don't understand your shit with him Michael, but your lawyers better be able to get me out of this if things go south." She was fiddling with the bags in her hands, scratching the back of her neck, looking uneasy.

"They will, you know they will."

"They've kept you're ass out of jail."

"Money helps."

"Speaking of-"

"It's already in your account."

She shifted uncomfortably, "Why him after all this time?"

"He got in my way." He said it darkly, it didn't leave room for questions, he walked away leaving her alone in the room before the screen went blank.

I stared, my mouth hanging open at the screen.

"This was taken two days ago, he hadn't edited or deleted anything as of last night so I was able to get the whole thing."

"He tried to kill Trevor?" T.K. questioned, with horrified amazement in his voice.

"My assumption is once her toxicology report comes back it will show that the heroin was combined with another drug, she must have accidentally took the drugs meant for him."

"I don't understand why he would go after Trevor though, if he wanted to mess with Kari wouldn't he have gone after one of us?"

T.K. had a point, sure I cared about Trevor but going after T.K. would have been the more obvious choice.

"I have an answer for that as well." Izzy once again turned his computer towards us, I could have screamed when it all came together. Michael wouldn't just go away for my abuse, or a single murder, but at least two.

* * *

We hurried out and to the hospital, and when we got inside we were both practically running to get to his room. We saw Matt standing outside, "What took so long," He said, tiredly rubbing his hand across his face.

"Inside," I said, pushing past him into the room. Trevor sat up when he saw us come in. I had to stop and catch my breathe for a moment.

"Kari I,"

"Wait." I said, hands on my knees still breathing heavily. "Wait." I said again, before sitting down in the chair next to his bed.

"Michael sent her for you, and he tried to kill you." Trevor's eyes were wide.

"Wait, what? That's a stretch for even this summer." Matt threw his hands up waiting answers instead of more theories.

"Izzy got into his computer, he has proof, we have proof." T.K. said, still trying to catch his breath.

"Why him?" Matt asked, gesturing towards Trevor.

"Because of Cassandra," I said, grabbing onto Trevor's hand. "Because of your sister."

"How?" Trevor's voice quivered, gone the carless attitude, as tears collected in his eyes.

"He kept photos, and videos, like memento's. Trevor there's a video of what he did. We got him."

The tears fell down his face, and his body wracked with sobs, he brought his hands to his eyes, clenching his fists tight trying to stop the flood that started. We let him go, who knows how long he had held everything in. Once he started to calm I grabbed his hand again, and squeezed, "The truth Trevor, please?"

His face scrunched up, brow furrowed, like he was trying to find a place to start.

"My last name isn't Levinson, it's Steigler. I changed it after." He stopped, balling up his fists. "After she died."

He took another breath, and released his grip before continuing, "We went to different academies, I started to get into a bit of trouble in middle school, so they shipped me off to an all boys school before ninth grade. Cassandra was _just_ like you Kari. Kind, self sacrificing, and gentle. She kept me out of trouble, made me want to be better, and then Michael came along. He was a little prick even back then, I hated him immediately, and my insistence that she drop him drove a wedge between us.

Suddenly, it was her sneaking out at night, I'd wait up and lecture her, telling her not to make my mistakes. She's laugh me off and say, 'a boy wasn't a drug,' but she was a addicted to him. She wanted to be everything he desired, she started dressing differently and wearing more makeup, but our parents didn't see anything drastic, just a young girl in love." He took a shaky breath, rubbing his hands over his face. I wasn't sure if he was tired, or trying to stop himself from crying again. His eyes were red, and so bruised underneath, you may have assumed he'd been in a fight. He collected himself and kept going.

"One day she snuck in _really_ late, I heard her softly crying in her room, and when I went in and saw her I thought my heart would stopped. She had a black eye, and a mark on her arm, she said it was him but that it was over, and to let it go. I'd never seen my sister look so afraid, I told her we could go to the police, but she freaked and begged me not to. I planned on telling my parents the next night, at least to get her to a therapist or something, she was so shaken up I knew she would need some sort of help."

He had been starting to talk faster almost like, if he sped his way through, it wouldn't hurt as much. But he stopped, and his forehead creased as his mouth formed into a thin line.

"I never saw my sister alive again. She stayed home from school that day, but when we got home she was gone, and had sent a message saying she was at a friends house. The next day I came home and found her at the bottom of our stairs, a crumpled mess on the floor, with a needle next to her body. I sat on the floor shaking her, staring into her wide open eyes, but she was already cold. I always knew he did it, that night she came home she was so scared, and there was something she never told me but I'm sure he threatened her. The note they found on her computer was bullshit, it wasn't her voice, but my parents accepted it in their grief. I begged them to get someone to investigate, I started telling anyone who would listen that he'd done it, but no one believed me.

I spiraled, taking whatever I could get my hands on, and that's when I met Lexi. We were a mess together, using anything and everything, for a few weeks until my parents finally sent me away, just shy of my eighteenth birthday, before they'd lose all control. One day, near the end of my program, I was told I had a visitor. Michael stood there in the hallway looking as haughty as he always had, I pushed him against the wall, but he reminded me of all the cameras.

He made me an offer that day, handed me a check for $500,000, and told me to disappear. He said, nothing would bring my sister back, that he was innocent, and his family would rather pay me off to shut me up than deal with false allegations. He handed me an NDA and the check. We were solid middle class but my parents still struggled from time to time, and I knew I'd never see money like that in my life, especially not with the path I was making for myself. I was lost, angry, and severely depressed. I told him to go fuck himself, and he laughed, like I was nothing. He handed me his phone with his lawyer pulled up to show me all the high profile clients he had, explained defamation cases, and how much they could sue my family for, threatened to take everything away from us.

So I signed my life away, and took the money, when I got out of rehab I left my parents $250,000 and a note saying not to come looking for me. I couldn't go back into that house where I found her, and couldn't look at my parents knowing what I did, so I legally changed my last name and never went back.

Then you," He looked up at me. "When you walked into our lives, and when I realized you were with Michael, I lost it."

"The cocaine last year?" Matt interrupted, as realization dawn on him.

"Yea, I just felt like I couldn't function. I finally had a life I wasn't ashamed of, I was proud of the music we were making, and finally felt like I had people in my life I could trust. Then Michael was back, and that night he met us he pulled me aside and told me, I better keep my mouth shut, and stay away from Kari. I had a fucking meltdown, I saw my sister in you in so many ways, and I just wanted to protect you the way I couldn't protect her. Kari, I-" He put his head in his hands. "I sent the photos to the press, I wanted him to go down, I wanted him to go away, and I selfishly pushed your privacy to the side."

"How did you even get your hands on them?" I mused out loud pulling away from the bed, amazed, and pained from the betrayal I was feeling.

"I knew a guy at the station that held your file, he was a dealer, use to go through evidence and sell what he found, but that's a whole different story. He knew we were friends and mentioned that you ended up in a hospital, all beat up, while you were still with Michael. He'd heard rumors and went rummaging around through the files. I paid him to get the photos and I held onto them for months. The way he was stalking us, fucking with us, I wanted him to go down for it, for you, for her, but it just created an even bigger mess.

When I saw Lexi at the bar she slinked over to me just like she had back in high school. She told me we could have fun that night, she'd seen all the news and knew I was under a lot of stress, and I fucking cracked. I wanted the oblivion, I couldn't take the lying anymore, and I just wanted to be numb for a little while. I'm sorry, I'm just so fucking sorry."

Matt was enraged, his nails biting into his palms, but he stayed silent. I wasn't sure if he was trying to keep it in to stop himself from beating the shit out of Trevor, or because he was waiting for him to continue.

"You released my photos." I said it out loud, if only to hear the words again. It hurt so much to know he was the one who did it. He took my life into his hands, my wounds, and he gave it to the world, as if it was the only solution. "If you could have told me, if I had known, maybe-" I wanted to say I'd have helped him, I'd have gone after Michael if I knew he was a murder, but that was a lie. I have no idea what I would have done, or if I would have even believed it.

"You saved me. Matt told me, but-" His hands tightened around the blanket that pooled around his waist. "You should have just left me to die."

It happened so fast, I didn't even realize what I'd done until I felt the pain radiate across my palm. He looked at me wide eyed, his face red with a mark from my hand.

"Don't. Don't you dare." I stood up, backing away.

He looked down, empty, ashamed. I started pacing around the room.

"I can't believe you lied all this time," Matt had this tone of wonder to his voice, as if he was amazed by his dedication to hiding himself.

"You guys took me in and it was like having a family again. I thought about telling you a bunch of times, but all I thought about was the inevitable pity, or that you would think I was just as crazy as everyone else did. It didn't seem worth it."

"Was _this_ worth it?" Matt cut him off, gesturing to the room around us. His resolve was faltering.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" I stopped pacing, T.K. pulled me close trying to calm me down, I looked to Trevor for some sort of explanation.

He looked down into his lap and shook his head, "I don't know."

At least _that_ was honest. I was angry, but at the same time what would I have done if someone had murdered my only sibling. Who would I be in that life? Would I risk other people to get justice for Tai? If I was being honest with myself I knew I couldn't answer. I looked at T.K. and thought about him, and what I would do if someone hurt him. My mind went to dark places and I knew I couldn't hold this over Trevor. All of this was more than anyone should have to go through.

"Don't talk to the police if they come and ask questions, we need to find you a lawyer." He sent me a look filled with questions.

"Why would the police come? They don't bother with overdoses." He looked between us for an answer.

We shared a look before I turned to T.K., his eyes were wide with the realization that Trevor didn't know about Lexi.

I sat back down next to his bed, T.K. put his hands on my shoulders for support, but before I could say anything Matt stepped forward.

"Lexi's dead. She was gone when the EMT's got to you both." Matt had sympathy in his voice that I wasn't aware was left at this point.

Trevor sank down into the bed, looking more lost than before if that was possible.

"How? Her tolerance had to be lightyears ahead of where I was after not using in so long."

"Izzy think's it was laced, in the video he told her to be careful to give you the right one or she'd end up dead. She must have given you the wrong one." I relayed the information Izzy had given us.

He thought for a moment, "Or he planned for her to die and me to take the fall. Either, I'm dead, or in jail, both would work for him right?" He rubbed his temple like he was wishing away a headache. "She was in on it?" He asked, sadly, feeling some bit of betrayal at the thought.

"He paid her," I said.

He nodded back and took a deep breath, "I have a lawyer I can call, but what's your plan?"

"I'm still working on it, I have some other people I need to reach out to, but I should know more later in the day. Do you trust this lawyer to tell them whats going on without it getting out to the press?"

Trevor said yes, before there was a knock on the door followed by a nurse, we excused ourselves so she could check in on him. We all agreed Matt needed to get back and get some sleep. John, and Colin, would probably be wanting to head over soon anyway. We decided to let Trevor tell them, he may not have wanted to, but he needed to be the one. I went back in when the nurse was finished and asked if he wanted me to stay, but he said it was fine, he wanted some time alone anyway. He stopped me before I left, and told me again how sorry he was, that he would try to make it up to me. I told him to get clean, and stay that way, to make it up to himself.

Even with everything hanging over us at the moment, having answers made things feel a bit less daunting. It seemed like there was finally a possible end to all of this.

* * *

A/N: There it is, a TON of answers. Let me know what you all think. Reviews help more then you know. The next chapter should be out within a month so keep a look out.


	24. Chapter 24

Edited 10/9/18

Hello friends, I know it's been way too long. Between life, work, and mental health I kind of pulled back a bit from all creative endeavors. I've been sitting on this chapter for a while, once we got closer to the TRI release I wanted to wait to see how that wrapped up before writing the sibling scene in here, but at long last here it is.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed it means more then you know!

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon or the song (Un)Lost by The Maine

* * *

 _"The world is ours_

 _But for a flash_

 _And you are not allowed to be anybody else_

 _Control what you can_

 _Confront what you can't_

 _And always remember how lucky you are to have yourself"_

* * *

I watched the waves turn white as the water drifted towards our feet, inching almost close enough to touch, before slowly dragged itself back out into the ocean over, and over again. There was nothing but the sound of the water, and the occasional bird caw, filling our ears. She sat with her back against me, the warmth from her body heating up my chest. I sat back, holding myself up with my hands, and rested my head on her shoulder. If anyone had passed us by they would have thought we were simply sharing a quiet morning on the beach, no worries or cares, just a young couple taking advantage of a nice day. Instead, I held her up knowing there were knots growing in her stomach, because they were the same ones growing in mine. I felt her breathing against me, too deeply at times, knowing she was doing her best to keep the anxiety at bay.

We came down here after dropping Matt off at Mimi's, we just wanted a break before seeing everyone, before explanations, and difficult plans would need to be made. We just needed the world to get quiet for a little while, we needed a glimpse of what it could look like at the end of everything.

The two of us always loved the beach, that tree from our childhood skirted the edge of it back home. Memories of us, and our friends, playing games down there flooded my head, we'd always had so much happening in the background, but we still managed to live like children. Maybe it was the lack of awareness to what one wrong move could mean. Nothing really felt _final_ back then, not at first, and not after we'd succeeded so many times. There was always the option to hit restart in some way or another. That changed as we got older, mortality became something real to be faced, and the trauma settled more into our bones. It felt like we grew up in an instant at the end, but being here now, I felt like a child again, scared, and unsure. Sitting here, in this seemingly impossible situation, an end was finally in sight, but at what cost?

"We should go inside." Her voice drifted away with the wind, if I hadn't been right against her I would have missed it. I wordlessly moved to stand, and she turned, reaching out her hands for me to help her up. I pulled, and leaned down to kiss her, imagining for a moment we _were_ just any other couple enjoying the beach, trying to steal the last few minutes before we were faced with our harsh reality once more. As we broke apart I pulled her tightly against me, resting my head against hers, and that's when I saw we had an audience.

"Looks like the paparazzi finally found us," I said, pulling back as she turned to see the lone photographer looking through his camera in our direction.

"Wait here," she said, before breaking away and briskly walking toward him. He saw her approaching and turned to leave, but she shouted for him to wait. He probably wasn't use to that being an option, because he turned back and gave her a curious look as she met up to him. I couldn't hear what they were discussing, there was a lot of head nodding, he looked surprised, maybe a bit excited as he handed her something and she left to return to me.

She wrapped her arm around my waist and pulled me towards Mimi's apartment. "What was that about?" I looked down, noticing that he was still taking photos of us.

"Making deals, I think I know what I have to do." She didn't continue. I saw the business card dance around her fingers.

"And?" I gently prodded.

"Let me get everything set first," She stopped before we reached the door. "You might not like it." She got quiet, looking down at her feet trying to avoid my gaze.

"Are you running away?" I asked bluntly. She jolted a bit and looked up, shaking her head, no. "Then I trust you." I laced my fingers through her own pulling her towards the door, she squeezed my hand and followed me inside.

April was already there when we got back. Kari left me and pulled her into Izzy's office, alone. Mimi, and Sora, were sitting at the counter having coffee, while it looked like the guys had already left for the hospital. I passed the girls by with a wave and quickly headed upstairs before anyone could say anything. I headed into our room, closed the door, and collapsed onto the bed. We'd gotten so little sleep last night, I smiled for a moment, reminded of the tangled mess we'd become just hours earlier. I fell asleep with the scent of her surrounding me, an attempt at some sort of peace, at least for a little while.

* * *

I woke up to the sound of Davis's voice echoing through the apartment, he never did learn volume control. I rubbed my eyes, trying to adjust to the light of the midday sun that was coming through the windows. I rummaged around the room for something clean to change into and headed downstairs. John, and Davis, were involved in an animated conversation about soccer on the couch, while the girls were situated around the counter. Sora handed me a cup of coffee and moved over to let me join their circle. She leaned into me, and rested her head on my shoulder for a moment, her small way of checking in.

"You finally get a little sleep?" She asked.

"Yea, still tired, but my eyes don't feel like they have weights attached anymore, so thats a positive." I looked around the room, taking everyone in, but I noticed some people missing. "Where's my brother, Tai, and Izzy?"

"Izzy had a meeting, and I'm pretty sure Matt will be knocked out until tonight. Tai is in Izzy's office with Kari, and April." Mimi said, walking over with a fresh cup of coffee for herself.

I looked at the clock, seeing I'd been asleep for about three hours. "She's _still_ in there?"

"Yea, it's been a bit chaotic, April comes in and out while talking on her phone at the speed of light. Whatever is happening they are making moves, and quickly."

The door clicked open and Tai came walking out, his shoulders were slumped, and his jaw was clenched, maybe things weren't going well. Everyone fell silent, looking to him for some sort of information about what had been transpiring on the other side of the door.

His eyes settled on me, "You should probably head in there. I think after she talks to you she'll loop everyone else in." His voice was low, he placed a hand on my shoulder for support, but I wasn't sure if it was for him or me.

I finished my coffee, quickly, and headed towards Izzy's office. I was almost taken out by April as she barged out of the room, talking quickly on her cell, she turned and mouthed, "Sorry," before hurrying out of Mimi's apartment.

Kari was curled up on the couch in Izzy's office, her head rested in one hand, and her eyes were closed. She'd had almost no sleep in the last twenty-four hours, and it had to be wearing on her.

"Hey," I tried to keep my voice soft so I didn't startle her. She opened her eyes and sent me a sad smile, her eyes were clouded over, and I felt my stomach drop a bit. The talk with Tai and her parents must not have gone great.

"So, you gonna let me in on what's happening?" I sat down next to her and pulled her legs across my lap.

She leaned back into the couch, sighing, "Yea, I just needed to talk to my family first. It's-" She bite her lip looking nervous. "It's pretty dramatic."

She waited for me to ask more questions but I just nodded for her to continue.

"I'm releasing one of the videos to the press."

I didn't know what to say, I was not expecting that to be the solution here, hadn't she been exposed enough? "Why," was all I could articulate back to her, a look of shock crossing my face said the rest.

"We wanted other women to come forward, and how could I ask them to expose themselves if I wasn't willing to do the same thing. We got all but one, once we sent them everything we had. April has been on the phone all morning connecting with them, or their agents, and coming up with a plan. Part of me feels so awful, knowing that they went through what I did, but for the first time I don't feel so stupid and alone, because it wasn't just me, at least he didn't _just_ manipulate me." She massaged her forehead with her fingers, pushing away the stress, and the tears, I could tell wanted to fall.

"You were never stupid, or alone," I said, taking one of her hands in my own. "But I understand how connecting with these girls is helping you feel supported in a different way. What I'm confused about though, is involving the press?"

"Oh," she paused, carefully searching for her words. "Well, we know he has some of the police on his side, so we need to make sure the evidence can't disappear. We will release one of mine, one from another woman, and several photos from the others. We keep the rest for the police, this way there is still evidence that hasn't been released, and the police can't ignore it because the press will destroy him."

"That's actually kind of brilliant. You give him no way to get out of it."

"Precisely."

"Are you going to be okay letting all of that out there though?"

The concerned look, Tai walked out with, was suddenly on her own face, "That's why I needed to talk to my family first, I had to make them understand how bad things were for me to get to this point. I know it's going to have an effect on them, and I couldn't let them be blindsided by it in the press."

"No wonder Tai walked out looking the way he did."

She looked down into her lap, her lashes hiding her eyes, hiding the pain there. "He made me show him the video."

"What?" I sat up a little straighter, surprised that he'd ask to see it.

"My parents have the file as well, they wanted time to process it, before it was out there for the world to see. I feel like I'm hurting them by doing this, and I wish I could shield them from it, but at this point I'm not willing to let Michael try anything else. He can't keep hurting people."

"How are you holding up with all of this? It's so fast?" I gently caressed her legs, as they laid over my lap, trying to send her whatever bit of comfort I could.

"April found me a therapist in the city. I know I need to face all of this differently than I have been. I feel like right now I'm just putting it away in a drawer, the girl on that video can't be me right now, she has to be from a different life if I'm going to get through the next few weeks."

"So what's the plan?"

"I need to ask you something?" She avoided my question, but I nodded to let her continue.

"After everything I've been through over the past few years, I'm damaged." I started to protest but she put her hand up. "It's okay, I'm not putting myself down, I have a clear head at the moment and I'm being very serious. I'm _still_ in fucking pieces, and I'm going to have to rebuild my life from nothing. The entire world is going to know where I've been, and what I've gone through. If you want to be part of my life you just need to know what you're staying for, it's going to be messy, and hard. I can't promise I won't be a nightmare sometimes." She took a shaky breath as tears welled in her eyes. "You're going to end up seeing it, even if I keep you away now, somewhere, someday it's going to happen. You need to decide if you want to be part of a life attached to this kind of nightmare, if you can." Tears rolled down her cheeks, I moved my hand to wipe them away and then I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her over so she could lay against me.

It was so painful to keep watching her cry, growing up it was so rare, and she hated to show her own pain. I always envied her strength, always feeling like I was the one to break so easy, but maybe she'd held it all together too long, maybe it was good that she was finally letting herself be vulnerable with everyone.

"I'm not leaving you," I said quietly, kissing the top of her head. "I can't fix this, I know that, but I can be here for all your days. I can be here for all your breakdowns, and for all the times you laugh in between. I love you Kari, every bit of you, even the parts you can't bare to look at. It's all you, even if it's all not great all the time. You don't need to be anyone else for me, and you never need to hide, we already made it this far, and as far as I'm concerned, we can make it through anything."

We stayed like that for a while, she told me about the other girls, their conversations, and the plan as it stood right now. April had rallied, with the help of some coworkers, and a few lawyers she knew. Everything seemed to be falling into place.

We headed out so she could finally explain everything to everyone else, but when we entered the living room, our brothers were both noticeably missing. Mimi pointed us outside to the beach, apparently Matt had woken up a little while ago, and Tai had already been outside. We thought about leaving them, but Kari wanted to have everyone's input going forward, especially from our brothers.

A few hours earlier, when the sun was still high, we had been in the same spot. Now, as it set, we met our brothers at the edge of the sand. There was just enough space between them for us to fit.

"Remember when we thought we'd faced everything, and that nothing would ever be as hard as it got back then?" Tai leaned back onto his palms and looked up at the sky.

"You mean like the time we thought you were dead, and I almost destroyed the world, because I have the emotional stability of a toothpick."

Our eyes all went wide, none of us ever blamed her for what happened back then, hell, I lied to everyone for my own selfish reasons. It was like she'd numbed herself back then, unable to process anything, until she finally snapped out of it. I prefer the tears, I'd rather have her feeling something, than shutting down.

She smirked, "Too soon?" Kari leaned into her brother not waiting for us to chime in, "Maybe one day this will feel the same." She moved forward and looked towards Matt. "I'm sorry the tour got so messed up, I know how hard you worked for all of this, it's not fair that it got destroyed."

"You, out of everyone, were entitled to make questionable decisions for once," Matt said.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Tai spoke up defensively, always the protector.

Matt ignored him and looked at Kari. "When I found you at school I never intended to berate you, I was more curious. Curious at why the best of us had suddenly done something so drastic, something so out of character."

"The best of us," she repeated my brother sarcastically, her voice full of question, and guilt. "World destroyer over here..."

"Come on Kari, we all made mistakes back then." He dug his feet into the sand and looked out into the ocean. "Light, true white light, is the combination of all the colors on the spectrum, right? You were always just like that, reliable to a fault, sincere with a kindness attached to it none of us had, smart and resourceful, a trustworthy friend, fiercely loving and loyal, and courageous without being unwise or stubborn. Sometimes light falters, so you had hope to keep you up if you were down." He paused, nudging me.

"I always thought it was us protecting you, but it was really the other way around, without the two of you the rest of us wouldn't have made it. So of course you were the best of us, but maybe we put you up too high up on a pedestal. It wasn't fair to expect so much from you. So when I found you there at school, and you told me everything, and I watched you crumble in front of me I was devastated for you both. I tried to imagine telling T.K., and I just couldn't, it wasn't my story to tell. Sometimes, I wish I had told someone, maybe we could have convinced you to go back home, or at least let some of us back into your life, maybe we could have protected you from Michael and from all of this. I leave things alone too much, because it's how I always operated, but we know how that tended to turn out and you'd think I'd have learned."

His eyes were downcast, full of guilt, and regret that I didn't realize he was hanging onto.

"You never left me alone," Tai grumbled.

"You couldn't be left to your own devices." Matt shot back.

Kari ignored the two, "Matt, you never had a responsibility to protect me," She turned back to Tai, and I. "None of you did. Maybe I needed to go through all of that to end up here now, if Michael wouldn't have happened I may have never reached out to you, I may have never talked to _any_ of you again, and just disappeared into oblivion. I'm not happy any of this happened, but if it means I get to end up back here with all of you, then I can live with that and I can find a way to rebuild my life knowing that I'm not alone, and knowing that I have a second chance. I just wish I hadn't fucked up the tour so bad in the process."

Matt waved her off, "There will be others. Controversy is good for music right?" He shook his head at his own, twisted, rational. "Tai told me a little about this plan you have, it's intense Kar. You up for everything that comes next?"

"I need to take my life back, and from now on if anything comes out it's because I made the choice."

He stood up and held out his hand to help her up, "Let's send this piece of shit where he belongs."

We stood up staring out at the ocean, dark now that the sun had set, waves crashing dangerously a ways out as the wind started to pick up.

Tai placed his hand on my shoulder. "No matter what happens we stick together as a family, it doesn't matter what you two decide down the line, but this right here, we don't fall apart again." He looked seriously between the two of us. I thought on his words, 'what you two decide down the line,' I knew what he implied, and it hung heavy between us for a moment.

"Lets get back in there," Matt said, shoving his hands into his pockets, he looked up at the sky one more time before shooting me a look. His face, one I normally read so well, seemed foreign to me. Everyone was feeling unsure about what was going to happen, happy Kari had finally asked for help, but worried about what could happen in the process. Now that we were dealing with someone we knew was a murderer everyone's emotions felt elevated.

We headed back in, and went over everything with the group, figuring out all the little pieces and how they needed to fall into place. We would be heading back to New York in a few days. The guys had to finish wrapping up loose ends of the tour and figure out what was happening with Trevor. Everyone headed to bed pretty early that night, wiped from the chaos of the day.

We didn't talk much once we laid down. I held her in my arms, running my fingers though her hair, feeling the knots in my chest start to unravel from the day. I tried to imagine life after all of this and what normal might look like. Would it be this? The semblance of comfort with the underlying stress, or could we find some normalcy? I had to believe we could. I had to believe we would get through this, and the next thing, and the next.

* * *

There we are everyone! I have to say I was done with this and went to save it and then the site kicked me out. DEVASTATION, so I apologize if I missed any errors. Please review, it helps so much! Until next time.


	25. Chapter 25

Edited 10/9/18

A/N: Hello everyone! I'm back and so much sooner this time so I hope that makes up for my many long absences.

Disclaimer – I don't own Digimon. I don't own "Walking the Wire," by Imagine Dragons.

Spotify – Playlist FF

* * *

" _Do you know the line that I'd walk for you?  
We could turn around, or we could give it up  
But we'll take what comes, take what comes  
Oh, the storm is raging against us now  
If you're afraid of falling, then don't look down  
But we took the step, and we took the leap  
And we'll take what comes, take what comes"_

* * *

The park bench felt cold under my legs, I stretched myself out long and leaned back into it, letting my head fall back, as the sun danced on my face. Little, crystal, splinters of light cracked through the nearby trees and fell onto the ground. I'd missed the city, the organized chaos, and the calm in Central Park. It wasn't always there, but early enough in the day, if you went to the right places you'd find it.

I was desperate for a true calm, because right now it felt like we existed inside of the eye of a hurricane.

We'd started to fall back into our lives here. Sora was back to work on her clothing line. She had a part time job assisting of one of her old college professors, and in exchange, was able to use the professor's workspace for her own design work.

Matt, John, and Colin were planning our, 'welcome back,' show. They were working on a set list while trying to find a replacement, bassist, for Trevor. Trevor, was going back to rehab, and Matt was on his way there with him now.

T.K., and I, had been spending most of our time with Davis, and Tai. We only had so much time before they would need to get back and didn't want to waste any of it.

So, even though we all started to settle a bit, it still felt like there was static in the air. We'd be having dinner, laughing about something foolish, when April would call and I'd have to step away.

I knew it would be over soon. I just had to keep reminding myself.

The sound of T.K., and Davis's, voices wafted through the air in my direction.

"Why didn't you get a truck?"

"It's a very nice cart."

"Dude," I glanced towards them and saw T.K., stop walking for a moment, and widen his eyes at Davis.

It was nice to see them as they were now. Sure, they had become closer towards the end of high school, while I was still around, but there was a different connection now. They had their own inside jokes, and shared looks of almost telepathic information dumping. Davis had taken my place in T.K.'s life as a best friend while I was gone. That twinge of regret would flood me every once in a while, the years we lost together, the things I'd missed out on. I tried to bury those thoughts, taking a deep breath, I knew I needed to move forward and not focus on the past. I couldn't get back what we'd lost, but we could start making new memories together.

"Earth to Karrrrrri." I jumped a bit, too lost in my thoughts to notice they had started talking to me.

"Sorry, what?" I replied. T.K. sent me a look of concern over Davis's shoulder, but I waved him off.

"What's your plan once we put out the dumpster fire." Davis plopped himself down on the park bench, powdered sugar flew in my direction from the half eaten donut in his hand, which resulted in a snort from T.K.'s direction. I appreciated Davis's, unapologetic, lack of a filter, it was nice to have someone around who wasn't constantly hovering over me. I know everyone meant well, and I was grateful for the support, but sometimes it was nice to be treated as if nothing bad was happening around us and this was all perfectly normal.

"Honestly who knows," I leaned back again, letting my gaze venture back into the trees. My view was obstructed when T.K. handed me my own, large confectionery, breakfast treat. "Thank you." I sent him a smile before turning back to Davis. "I don't know that I'll ever get hired with everything hanging over me. Lots of directors avoid controversy regardless of who was right, or wrong. I know I can go back to the night club and waitress there for now. I'll go on auditions and give it about a year before I start rethinking things."

"Man, that seems insane, he's a psycho, and _you'd_ suffer for it. That's bullshit." Davis kicked at a stick on the ground and more sugar fluffed around him as he, fiercely, finished his donut.

"The industry is full of it, they've been making some progress over the past few years, but I don't want to get my hopes up."

He crumpled up the paper, that had been wrapped around his food, and looked thoughtful for a moment before that trademark grin crossed his features. "You'll get something! I'm sure of it." He beamed towards me, and I almost believed I would. I envied that confidence.

"What about you?" Davis leaned back on the beach and tilted his head to look at T.K.

"I still have plenty of savings left, and don't have to pay rent with Matt, so I have some time to figure it out. I have some stuff written I'm just not sure about it yet." He looked uneasy. He'd been, ferociously, writing since we'd been back but wouldn't let me anywhere near his computer. "I should probably find a part time job though so I can help out with utilities and such."

"Wait." Davis interrupted him, his eyes wide. "You _aren't_ coming home? You're leaving me too?" He looked between the two of us.

Neither one of us spoke, we hadn't had _that_ particular discussion yet. He said, he wasn't going to leave me, but geographic location wasn't explicitly discussed. We were together and that was settled, but we painfully avoided most talk of the future, there was too much happening for us to be making any real plans or decisions.

"I mean, well, not..." He trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck, and avoiding my eye contact.

"You guys haven't talked about it have you?" He looked between us a few more times before he started to laugh, just softly at first, but it built to him doubled over.

" _Really_?" T.K. kicked the back of Davis's side of the bench.

"You two are _still_ impossible," He stood up, shaking his head. "I'm gonna head back. It seems like you need some time to talk." He strutted away, chuckling as he went.

T.K. walked around and replaced him on the bench, "Think he even knows how to get back?" He put his hands behind his head and leaned back.

I finished the last bite of my food, "Not a chance." I smiled, crumpling up the paper in my hands. "He's right though."

"Don't _ever_ let him know that," He leaned forward, his elbows set on his knees while he rested his head in his hands, still avoiding my gaze.

I reached over and laced my fingers between his, forcing him to look towards me, " I haven't, even for a second, asked you what you'd want to do, except for hope you'd be here for me. Do you want to go back to Japan?"

"There hasn't been time to think about any of that so don't feel like you did anything wrong." He leaned back, and turned a bit so he was facing me, tucking one of his feet under his leg on the bench. "Honestly, I don't know. I mean, I do love home but I also wanted to travel. I'm more than happy to spend time here with Matt, and Sora, and figure things out with you." He looked up at me, through strands of hair that fell in his face, he'd left it down to dry before we left the apartment earlier.

"I just want to make sure I'm not taking you away from anything." I looked down at his hand in my own, constantly afraid of what I might find in his eyes.

"I came here to write my book, spend time with my brother, and go somewhere new. That's what I'm doing. And this," he squeezed my hand. I looked back up at him, his ocean colored eyes glistened from the sun. He gestured between the two of us. "This, I wouldn't trade."

He leaned towards me until our foreheads were touching. His hands tangled in my hair, as he kissed the top of my head, before standing up and holding his hand out for me. I took it, as I had so many times over the past few weeks, but this time felt different. We both needed these constant reminders that we would be here for each other, for our own separate reasons. I felt like, even though things were ramping up, they were also settling down. We felt stable, there were no questions at the moment, no fear in our relationship. Going forward it felt good to have something on solid ground. I was going to need it.

* * *

I stood there, holding his backpack, while watching people come and go through the sliding doors. I remembered the last time we were here, the hope that it would be the last time, and the fear that I'd be standing here again as I am now. I tried to shove my disappointment down, at least he was here, at least he had a second chance, or third, or whatever number of chances we were on at this point. Trevor stood at the counter filling out paperwork, his empty hand fiddling with his pants, his shirt hem, then the edge of his pocket. He was scared and it made it harder to be pissed at him.

They found evidence that the drugs were transported with Lexi, and couldn't have been Trevor's. There was no residue on any of his things, and it was all over her bag, so he wasn't charged. The lawyers we were working with contacted Lexi's parents and were keeping them posted about our plans. They wanted to go after Michael right away, but they knew how bad it looked for their daughter, who had been a known drug user to the public, so they were taking our lead.

Trevor had been the one to say he was going back to rehab, so we didn't even have to convince him this time, which was a relief. I think part of him was happy to get away from the drama surrounding us, at least now, he'd stay out of even more trouble. Now that he really knew the truth about his sister, there was a part of him out for blood, but another that seemed petrified. He'd been talking about Kari like she was glass the last few days but it was him who was ready to break.

"Alright," he turned around and held out his hand for his backpack. I handed it to him and shoved my hands into my pockets. Silence hung between the two of us, neither that adept at communicating during a heavy situation.

"I'd like to say, it will be better next time, but I feel like I'd just be making empty promises." He shrugged his backpack over his shoulder.

"At least what you just said was honest," I twitched at my need to poke at everything.

"I deserve that."

"Just get your shit together so we can go back to making music. If you leave me with Colin we'll end up a synth pop band, and I just can't go there." He looked up at me surprised. He probably figured I was dumping him off here and that would be it, but we'd been through too much shit at this point. I saw what walking away accomplished for people, I wasn't going to throw him away after everything.

"Okay," the straight line his mouth had been in tugged a bit to one side. He hitched his backpack up again and turned to walk through the siding doors to meet the nurse that was waiting for him.

I didn't know if he'd be okay. I didn't know he wouldn't get out, and fuck up again. I didn't know that I'd never find him face down in his own vomit half dead, or worse. I just had to do my best to believe he could get through it without being unrealistic, he had a long road ahead, and he'd need support once he got out.

* * *

"What on earth?" I stood, wide eyed, in the doorway of Matt's apartment taking in the scene before me. Several people stood around the table, cheering as cups were flipped, and people chugged the drinks in their hands.

"Join the party!" John shouted, waving his hands, from behind a small group of guys I didn't recognize.

"When did we decide to have a party?" Kari mumbled next to me, her voice full of nervous amusement.

"Clear this off lets do pong, everyone is going to be finished if we play this much longer," Colin said, as he started moving cups to the end of the table in a pyramid formation.

Matt walked over to us and handed me a beer, "Some of the guys from the bar stopped over to welcome us back, and it quickly turned from there, but maybe we could all use a party." He shrugged, and tried to look annoyed but there was relief on his face, maybe he was the one who really needed it.

"Wanna play?" He gestured towards the table. I was about to pass when Davis shoved through the group.

"Oh man he _suuuucks._ You'll want a different partner." He grinned, egging me on in a way he knew would absolutely work.

"Whatever, sorry I actually studied back at school and didn't just party my way to a 2.5." I grumbled, taking the beer from my brother's hand and following him over towards the table.

"I studied too, I just also happened to have a good time." He sent me a toothier, more obnoxious, grin.

* * *

T.K. turned back to me, his eyes begging me to join, but I shooed him off. Drinking games weren't for me, I liked to be in charge of my alcohol consumption, and didn't need someone encouraging me to drink anymore than I often did.

I headed over to a cabinet in the corner and took a short glass off the shelf. I pushed around a few bottles until I found the one I was looking for, as I poured amber liquid into the glass I turned around to take in the party. Colin, Matt, Davis, and T.K. were around the table that was being set for beer pong. John was with four guys, from the bar, hanging out in the kitchen. I knew them casually, but not enough to feel up to a conversation at the moment. Sora, and Tai, had been sitting at the kitchen counter chatting, but now Sora was headed over towards the table, and Tai was making his way to me.

"What on earth is that?"

"Scotch." I held it out towards him but he put his hands up, shaking his head no, like I was offering him poison.

"How do you drink that stuff?"

"Acquired taste?" I shrugged, taking a sip.

He made a gagging gesture, and I sent him an eye roll I'd perfected after years of him attempting to tease me.

"You feeling a bit better being back?" He asked, regaining his composure.

I felt the corners of my mouth turn up as I took in the group at the table, as they laughed, and cheered each other on."Yea, it's good to be home."

"Is this home now?" He was trying to keep a smile on his face, trying to stay light, but his eyes were sad. I knew he wanted me to come back, and it would be easy to run from everything, easy to go back to Japan and start over. Everyone would eventually forget who I was and I'd probably fade into obscurity, getting to lead a quiet life back home, as if nothing ever happened.

But, this _was_ my home now. I felt like the city streets ran through my veins. The guys had become my closest friends. Matt, and Sora, were like family, and now with T.K. staying it felt even more solid.

"Right now it is." I said, firmly. "I _do_ miss you, mom, dad, and all our friends, but you know the rest of them are scattered too. I need to see this through, maybe I don't make it and I end up back home trying something there, but I have to at least try."

The forced smile he'd been sporting turned more genuine, and his eyes softened, "It's true, I wish you'd come home but it's for selfish reasons. I'm proud of you for sticking it out, don't let that bastard win, he doesn't deserve the satisfaction." He nudged into me a bit before heading over to the table. I started to follow him but changed my mind. I wanted some time to myself so I headed out onto the balcony. I took a sip from my glass, and leaned out over the railing, watching the city come to life below us.

I started looking at auditions that were coming up, there were a few I thought I might be okay for, but who knows what was going to happen over the next few days. Maybe I _would_ just end up running back to Japan.

I heard the glass door slip open, turned to see Davis, and was surprised by the dejected look on his face.

"Okay he was _always_ terrible when we played together, suddenly he's a champ, what gives!" He leaned his back against the railing and took a long drink from his bottle.

"A better partner?" I smirked towards him as he continued ranting to himself. "So how is everything with you? We haven't, actually, had any time alone to catch up?"

He stopped his rambling and squinted for a moment, like he was thinking really hard.

"Great! I finished school with decent enough grades that my parents didn't disown me, while saving enough to start my cart. They think it's pretty dumb, but when has that really ever stopped me from doing something."

"Never," I chuckled, I'd missed his enthusiasm for just about everything. He turned his face down, thinking again, an uneasy look covered his features.

"Can I ask you why?" His voice was, uncharacteristically, unsure.

His focus was below us at the street. "I haven't wanted to ask, but I think I'll kick myself after all this if I never do."

I seriously considered not telling him and just giving the standard, I needed to get away, bullshit answer I'd been living off of for so long. I thought about it though, and after everything that happened, the people who cared about me deserved the truth.

So I did, I took a seat on the ground of the balcony, and he slid down next to me. When I finished telling him he sat quiet for a few minutes, eventually he finished the drink in his hands and placed it onto the ground next to us.

"Jun just had her first ya know, a little girl, Mayuri." A warm smile crossed his face. He pulled up a picture on his phone, of a little girl, held in the arms of his sister.

"She's sweet." I said, unsure, if not a little uncomfortable, about why he was sharing this now.

"She lost the first three." He said abruptly, and I felt my chest get tight. "The first two were early, she was maybe two months along, but for the third she was about five months in. She went to fertility clinics, and tried all sorts of things, scared she'd never be able to have a kid. It devastated her. They finally stopped trying, and then that's when it happened, sometimes it's just not the right time. You should know you didn't do anything wrong."

I was so shocked I wasn't sure what to say at first. I didn't mention the pain I felt after, and how I always thought if I'd taken better care of myself, that I'd never have lost the baby. My body relaxed.

"I never knew anyone who, I mean, I'm sure some of our parents ... maybe, and we just don't know, but I," I stopped stumbling, and tried to gather my thoughts. I appreciated his words so much, especially after I spent so much time feeling guilty about leaving, but even more time guilty that my body had betrayed me, that it couldn't do something it was built for. "Thank you for sharing that with me.'' I finally said, truly grateful for his words.

"Think of what your life would be, you'd have put school on hold, and maybe just be going back now. T.K. would work at his moms paper, long hours for sure, so you'd almost never see him and he'd probably hate it, but always do what he had to, to take care of you. The world gives you what you can manage, maybe it would have been too much back then. You guys will have more chances."

"You really think we will be okay after all of this?" I leaned my head on his shoulder. He'd become more brotherly with me as we aged into high school, I started helping him plan dates with other girls, and trying to talk him up to the ones who weren't sure. There were so many vacancies in my life after I left, so many friendships I'd never been able to replicate, his was a big one.

"If me at twelve couldn't keep you apart, nothing can."

I almost choked on my drink, because it was hysterical, and probably true. He'd been relentless.

Suddenly, T.K. slid open the screen door a bit too hard, singing the song playing through the speakers slightly off key.

"You joining the band dude?" Davis looked pleased with T.K. who, clearly, had a few too many.

"Yea, I'm gonna play the tambourine." He shook his hand, in what was an attempt at an air tambourine, but he almost made himself fall over instead.

"How much have you had the drink." I tried to sound more concerned than amused, but was having trouble keeping myself composed.

"How much have _you_ had to drink." He stumbled pointing towards me.

"Oh honey." Davis and I said together. I covered my mouth, to hide my laughter, as Davis continued to poke at him.

"I haven't seen you this loaded in like three years."

"Was I really that boring?"

"Yes."

He grumbled, sitting down on the other side of me, and nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck.

"We finally lost." He said.

"Oh listen to him all, _finally,_ you were never that good playing with _me_ ," Davis refocused his annoyance on the game.

"You were never that good, you were always too busy trying to impress _Sakuuuura_ ," He slurred out her name.

"Who's that," I smirked, as Davis's face lit up like a stop light.

I watched the two of them get into a spirited conversation about the girl Davis had his eye on for the past few years. We fell into various stories from college, falling over into fits of laughter until I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. I drifted off, listening to the two of them continue to talk until their voices faded and all that was left was the comfort, and warmth, from T.K. holding onto me.

* * *

"She's totally out," Davis pointed to Kari.

I looked down at the sleeping girl in my arms, brushing some stray hairs from her face.

"She told me everything."

I took that in, a little shocked, I was happy she was finally talking to people but still surprised.

"Oh." I replied, lamely.

"Oh?"

"Sorry, I haven't actually gone into it with anyone except my mom, and brother."

"How you doing with that?"

"I mean, we never fucking thought _that_ was it, right?" I sighed, rubbing my eyes with a free hand, I was getting tired, and I could feel the hangover already. "That was never even one of the options on the table. So hearing it was, just," I looked down at her sadly, reminded again of what we lost, and that it wasn't just time.

"Sorry man, I didn't mean,"

"No it's fine. I'm glad she's finally talking to people instead of keeping secrets."

Davis's face was downcast, looking apologetic. "You okay?"

I held onto her a bit tighter. "It's just another loss right? Is that crazy? I didn't even know it was possible and still somehow it feels like I lost something."

"You've lost a lot man, we all have, so I get that. You guys just need to keep looking forward. It will be what, like six years before you guys are married with two kids? Everything will work out."

"Two?"

"The two of you being as close as you are to your brothers, there is no way you don't have at least two kids."

"I find it strange, yet reassuring, that you're over there planning our future."

"One of us has to."

"Yea, yea, we had a good talk today so I don't wanna hear it." I laughed, waving him off. I held back a yawn and we decided we should probably get some sleep.

I picked Kari up, she moved a bit, but her eyes never opened. I took her into our room, placed her into bed and curled up next to her. I fell asleep surrounded by the scent of her, vanilla, sandalwood, and hints of the whiskey or scotch she'd had earlier. My head dizzy from my lack of any sort of tolerance towards alcohol. Even though I knew I'd have a headache in the morning I was grateful for the night, for the time we had to relax, outside of the chaotic world we'd been living in.

It would be over soon. I just wish I could have said it was going to be easy, I wish I could have said what was coming wasn't as horrifying as it would turn out to be. That night though, I fell asleep fast and slept hard, until the morning light crept through the blinds, and woke us to another long day of calls with April and finalizing of plans.

It would be over soon.

What would be left when it was?

* * *

A/N: I want to thank those who reviewed the last few chapters ...

Undesirable13, I am alive! I appreciate your feedback about the media and such, everything with "Me Too" started hitting the news after I'd already started and it absolutely had an effect on the story I was trying to craft.

SweetDevil01, I'm so happy you found my story and are enjoying it! I did a lighter chapter before shit hits the fan again so hopefully it's a nice break from crazy Michael.

Blaire, I am so incredibly flattered that you've reread the story and enjoy it so much, I LOVE the four of them together and had been dying to write them together for a few chapters now so I'm glad you liked it as well.

BDC, thank you for being a constant reviewer throughout the story, I also wish I didn't have a life and could literally sit and do this all day. Like seriously, it's all I want.

Ai Star, just wait for it. Next chapter we finally see it all go down.

Thank you to all the guest reviewers as well. It always makes my day to open my e-mail to a comment from this community and is always the biggest reminder to get back to the story if I feel myself distracted with other things.

Next time we see the dramatic press release. I'm going to work my hardest to get that chapter out within a month. Thanks for sticking with me!


	26. Chapter 26

Edited 10/9/18

Hey everyone! I've had this written for a few weeks now but was sick for three straight so I'm sorry for not getting this to you sooner. I hope it was worth the wait! Time jumps a bit in this one but I hope it's easy to follow.

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon or the Song Look What You Made Me Do, by Taylor Swift.

Spotify: Playlist FF

* * *

 _"I don't like your little games  
Don't like your tilted stage  
The role you made me play  
Of the fool, no, I don't like you  
I don't like your perfect crime  
How you laugh when you lie  
You said the gun was mine  
Isn't cool, no, I don't like you"_

* * *

I stood on stage and held Matt's guitar tightly in my hands, my nails grazed over the guitar strings, going from the rough, ridged, large ones, to the smooth, sharpness of the skinny strings. It was just me alone on the stage now. I looked out across the crowd, it was smaller than most of the shows we'd played that summer, probably around 100 people. We wanted to keep the show intimate considering what I was about to do. We did have the whole thing being live streamed, so even though the crowd was small, I felt like I was on stage in front of the entire world. I took a breath, started playing, and let everything fall away until it was just me and the music.

* * *

I woke up in a cold sweat, breathing heavy, trying to wipe the horrible images from my mind. The closer we got to the show the more nightmares I was having. I felt the bed shift behind me and heard a groggy yawn from T.K.

"Hey, you okay?" He sat up, and wrapped his arms around my waist. I felt him shift when he realized I was breathing erratically. "Hey, it's okay, follow my breath."

I did, I felt the rise and fall of his chest against my back, and tried to match my hurried breaths to his own, much calmer, ones. I felt myself start to relax, knowing I was safe in this room here with him, instead of the room in my nightmare with Michael.

"I'm sorry." My voice was weak, and tired.

"Don't apologize, did you have another nightmare?"

I nodded, and he wrapped his arms tighter around my waist.

"You know, you don't have to do this, you can pull back and we can come up with something else." His breath was warm against my neck. I leaned back into him accepting the comfort he gave, as I shook my head, no.

"I need to do this. The only way this all stops is if he's away in jail where he can't hurt anyone else."

He pulled me, gently, back towards the bed to lay back down, his hands moved across my head and through my hair. I closed my eyes, and begged sleep to come, I was safe. I'd be okay.

"Promise you'll call the therapist tomorrow? I know you've been putting it off. Him being gone may give you piece of mind, in the short term, but these nightmares may not stop." His voice was quiet, and soothing, the way a parent would talk to a small child, but it wasn't patronizing.

I knew he was right, and I _had_ been avoiding it. I knew therapy meant rehashing everything to work through it, and that to me was almost as scary as releasing the video. He was right though, I couldn't keep doing this to myself, and he shouldn't have to wake up four nights a week to help lull me back to bed.

"Okay," I said. I meant it, I just hoped I'd have the courage to actually do it when morning came.

* * *

"What about these?" Sora held up a pair of, faux leather, pants.

"Way to hot for stage."

Her face scrunched up, disappointed. She'd been trying to help me find an outfit for the show tomorrow, and we were on our second store, but not having much luck. She said, it should be edgy, I should look like a rock star, but also an assassin, it was all a bit aggressive if you ask me.

"Sorrrrra!" Both our heads turned as we saw Mimi barge through the doors. The sales clerk stopped in her tracks, as Mimi ran past her and hugged us both fiercely.

"Sorry I'm late, our plane was delayed and you know what a nightmare JFK is this time of year," She blew a strand of hair out of her face and it managed to land perfectly against the rest of her head.

Her and Izzy had come into the city for moral support, I was thankful, I'd take everything I could get at this point.

"That's okay, this is only our second stop." Sora thumbed through the racks before turning around with a dejected look across her face. "Let's try another store, it's just not here."

"What's the look?" Mimi looked into the shop windows as we walked by.

"Apparently, rock star assassin." I shrugged.

"Not apparently, it is." Sora said, firmly.

"Ohhh, I love that," said Mimi.

"Can't I be Stevie Nicks instead?" My voice was whinier then I'd planned, but I wasn't really femme fatale material.

"Not for this one, You can't be all, 'look at me in this flowery dress, I'm so approachable and sweet.' It needs to be, 'I'm out for blood. So, don't fuck with me." Sora pumped a fist in the air for emphasis.

Mimi, enthusiastically agreed. They threw ideas back and forth while I followed from behind, mumbling to myself about just wearing a sweatshirt, and shorts, and forgetting 'looks' altogether.

We ended up leaving Soho and heading down the the financial district to comb the racks in Century 21. I tried on several crop tops, with high waisted shorts, but everything was almost impossible to move in. We'd separated about forty-five minutes ago to cover more ground in the multi level store. I was about to give up when I passed by a dress on one of the crammed clearance racks. The top part of the dress was see through, covered in lace, and sequins, while the skirt part of the dress was feathered, and looked like it would hit mid-thigh. I backtracked, and grabbed one of the crop tops, while texting Sora to have them meet me in the fitting room. I was gentle with the dress, afraid of ripping the top, I zipped up the back and smoothed it down before looking at myself in the mirror.

"Hey, you in there?" Mimi shouted from outside the room.

I opened up the door and stepped out, with triumphant gleam in my eyes, and their mouths dropped.

"That's it," they said together.

I turned around and looked back at the mirror, I understood now. I felt like I could probably kick a door in or something. It was powerful looking, like armor.

"Now we need shoes!" It was Mimi, who was throwing her fist in the air this time.

I sighed, but smiled, if the shoes made me feel like the dress, then maybe I'd convince myself I was ready for this after all.

* * *

The black, leather, peep toe, heels I was wearing stuck to the floor as I paced, back and forth, around the small room. I'd been hold up in the back room of the club, trying to calm myself down for the past ten minutes, while the guys left to go mingle with our friends I'd banished myself back here to keep from hyperventilating. I told them to leave me, give me some time, but being alone with just me and my thoughts, was turning out to be a mistake.

What if no one believed me? What if they thought we faked the photos? What if Michael was out in the audience? What if he came for me? What if I got destroyed in the press? What if one of the other women gets destroyed by the press? What if I never work again? What if it's all for nothing? My head spiraled in circles until I was dizzy.

I was startled by blonde hair, so wrapped up inside my head that I didn't see him walk in, his blue eyes piercing through me while the rest of his features were softened with concern.

"You're gonna wear a hole into the floor." He nodded towards the couch for me to sit, I complied, crossed my legs, and watched my foot twitch back and forth, all of my anxiety filtering itself there.

He sat across from me and grabbed my foot, "You have to relax. You're going to give yourself a heart attack."

I tried to take a breath and focus on not fidgeting.

"Are you sure you still want to do this?" His voice was softer and his eyes warmed to match.

"I need to do this." My voice was a little shaky, I swallowed and took another deep breath. "I need to do this," I said, more firmly.

He let go of my foot, as he sat back into the couch, "When you showed up at the apartment a few months ago I almost immediately went after him." His voice was quiet, his eyes slanted, and fists clenched. "I could see it in your weight, the way you hunched, and in the circles under your eyes. I knew he'd hurt you in some way worse than a breakup, but I knew I needed to wait, knew I needed to give you time.

Over the past few months I watched you get your life back. You clawed yourself out of a hole to be standing here right now, you're going to keep going after this. This isn't it. So, when you go out there tonight, know that we are behind you and we have your back in every way. You're part of this group now, and we aren't going anywhere."

I felt tears brim in my eyes and I reached out to wrapped my arms around him. I could probably count, on one hand, the amount of times Matt and I had hugged. I could feel his surprise and almost pulled back, but he gently wrapped his arms around me, and held me tight.

"Thank you," I pulled back, and blinked a few times to stop any tears from falling.

"Don't thank me, this is what family does, so don't forget that." He placed a hand on my shoulder as he stood. "Take five and then head out. Breathe. You're going to be great."

I waited for the door to click shut as he left the room. I stood up and shook myself out, jumping up and down, trying to release the rest of my nervous energy. I stopped, took three deep breaths, and headed out to the stage.

He was right, I had so many people behind me. I had the most amazing friends I could ever ask for, and someone I loved fiercely, who loved me just as fiercely back. I could do this.

As I walked down the hall I paused at the brightly colored flyers for other shows that lined the wall, and it took me back to the start of all of this.

* * *

I had five neon fliers, my class list, and a map of school in my hand. I was finding it difficult to maneuver around campus to find the building I'd have most of my classes in. Every hundred feet or so there was another group handing out their club fliers, be it meetings or parties, all trying to talk up why their activity was the best. That, muddled with my trying to decipher the English was getting me all turned around. I'd always been better at speaking English than reading it, and it's not that I couldn't, because I was proficient in the language, it was just jarring trying to get use to _everything_ being in a foreign language.

I should have stopped walking to try and decipher the map, but I was lost in the page and ended up running into something hard. I stumbled back, and felt a hand grab my upper arm, when I was steadied and saw that I was still attached to someone else I was shocked to see a familiar face.

"Michael?" I questioned, to be sure. I took in his more mature face, it had been years since I'd seen him in person. He was handsome with striking, sharp features, and dark blue eyes. His hair was a bit shorter, cropped to his neck, his soft curls perfectly placed.

"Kari." He said my name confidently. I was surprised he'd recognized me, because we hadn't kept in touch over the years. T.K., and Izzy, were much better at maintaining communication with our friends overseas.

I noticed a stinging in my arm and realized he was still holding onto me, he saw me glance and slowly let go.

"Sorry, I wanted to make sure you were steady, you ran into me pretty hard."

"I'm so sorry," I felt my face heat up. "I'm trying to make my way around and wasn't paying attention."

I'd only been here a few days and here I was, already making bad impressions.

"It's okay it's a big campus, and it must be a big adjustment."

"Yea, I just got in a few days ago." I shuffled my papers around and felt some of them leaving my hands, I looked up to find him smirking, turning over the brightly colored papers in his hands.

"Just walk right by all these guys or you'll end up with enough to fill a book." He crumpled the papers up, making a little multicolored ball, and threw them in a nearby trash can. I remember finding it strange that he didn't ask if I wanted any of them, but I was still so out of sorts that it didn't register as weird, neither did the stinging in my arm where his hand had been.

"What are you looking for?" He pointed to the map.

I pulled out my class list and showed it to him.

"You're in the music department?" His eyes widened a bit, surprised.

"Musical theater, yea." I heard my voice get higher in that way it would if I was getting nervous. I felt happy to see someone I knew but also had this, weird, underlying feeling of weariness.

He looked me over again, like he was searching for something in my appearance that would make me look like a singer. "I'm in the theater department so I can show you where it all is."

He didn't wait for me to respond, he took my hand and pulled me along through the courtyard into the right direction. I noticed people staring, and whispering, as we walked by. I must have looked a bit too long at one of the groups, and I heard him scoff.

"It's so annoying, I've been here a year now and people still talk when I go by, there's Colin Keating's kid." He shook his head, but looked proud all the same.

I'd almost forgotten that his father was a famous actor here in the states, so it must be normal to get whispered about constantly.

He took me around the part of the campus I'd be spending the most amount of time in, told me that he was in his second year, and was trying to be a television actor. He said, "That's where the real money is."

I remember being charmed when he told me he'd take me to dinner that night. He told me all about the school, the people he hung around with, the ones I should avoid. I was so happy there was someone here that I had some sort of connection to, even if it was small.

I didn't focus on how little say I had in anything that day, in how he dominated the conversation, and asked so little about me and my plans. I was just happy to have been noticed. I was foolish. I was young.

* * *

Those flyers on the wall were so similar to the ones in my hands back in school, the ones he'd thrown out without asking. What had I missed out on back then? What people could I have met instead?

Everyday I tried to have less regret, to try and move forward, and every day there was a reminder of something I lost.

I had a lot of fear, but no guilt about what I was going to do. My body felt like it was vibrating. I grabbed the drink Colin held out for me as I walked on stage and downed it quickly, the burn cleared my throat and calmed my nerves. The venue was roaring, I heard people in the crowd cheering for us individually from across the bar. I turned towards the crowd, placing my friends, and my eyes landed on T.K., he nodded towards me with a determined look covering his face. I turned to Matt as he started playing the first few cords of our opening number. I grabbed the microphone and started to sing the first few lines, I let myself get lost in the music, I wanted to enjoy the beginning of this, because who knew what would happen once it was over.

* * *

They were like electricity tonight. There was no fumbling, no mistakes, not that there were ever many, but tonight everyone was nailing it. The bassist they found to replace Trevor for the night was a friend of theirs, so he meshed right into the group. Kari looked lighter as the show went on, lost to the music in a way that made her so engaging to watch. She moved with the music around the stage in a way that enticed everyone in the audience move with her.

They'd kept the show really light tonight, the songs were upbeat, and they skipped anything acoustic in the middle. The crowd had been full of gossip before the show, they advertised a special performance from Kari tonight, and everyone had been curious about what that meant. The group of us stuck pretty close together, every once in a while April would go take a look at the comments on the live stream and check to see what the viewership was like, and every time she came back it had grown, she was pleased with how everything was turning out.

The song they were playing ended and the crowd erupted.

"Alright everyone, that was it for us tonight, but Kari has one more for you." Matt turned around and picked up his acoustic guitar handing it to her, and whispering something away from the mic, before making his way off the stage with the rest of the guys.

She ran her hands over the strings and took a deep breath before heading towards the microphone.

"Before I play this last one for you all tonight, I want to thank you all for coming out and supporting us, it's always special to play at home, and you guys have been great." She left a pause for the inevitable cheer that always comes after thanking a crowd. There was a genuine smile on her face, a calm that crossed over her for a moment.

"And second, I want to thank you for standing by us as fans over the past few weeks. Sometimes people are going to come into your life with the intention of creating chaos, with the intention of causing you harm, and you might not be able to see it. You might be hurt, you might feel alone, and you might be scared, but please reach out to your friends and family. People show up for you when you need them to, I forgot that for a long time, but I won't anymore. So this one is for anyone who's ever been broken down, for everyone who's ever felt stuck and alone, and who's ever felt like people who harmed you never get what's coming to them, because sometimes, sometimes they just might."

She stepped back, as people in the crowd threw around jeers in Michael's name, and shouted support for her and the band. She didn't acknowledge any of it though, she just stepped forward and started playing. The venue went quiet for her.

As she approached the end of the song I looked towards April, who had her phone in her hand, waiting to send the message that would release everything.

 _"Ooh, look what you made me do  
Look what you made me do  
Look what you just made me do  
Look what you just made me do"_

As Kari said her final word, April sent the message, and pocketed her phone. When Kari stepped back from the mic it was like being surrounded by white noise, that's how loud everyone around us was, and then came the phone pings, and the buzzing. I saw her quietly make her way off stage as people around us started pulling out their phones. I headed for the entrance, but not before I started to hear the video, the echo of 100 phones playing it at different times, and the horrible sound of her scream.

They'd worked with two publications, and a popular online social media site, the publications would release everything, and at the same time the site would create a "moment" that would shoot out an update to anyone who had the app.

There would be an attached press release with the videos and photos, it read:

 _"Too often in our society, powerful men are allowed to get away with crimes because of money, and fame. We allow them to slide by, because we assume we know who these people are, based on their public persona, but the reality is often very different in private. We came together because we've been on the receiving end of abuse from the same individual, a person who's paid for our silence, or used fear to obtain it. We've chosen to release photos and videos that prove our claims, images that are painful to relive, and may be triggering for some individuals. We did not make this decision lightly, several attempts to go to certain authorities had proven ineffective, and traumatizing, for more than one of us, and we felt there was no choice but to take this into our own hands and distribute our, painful, proof to the public so there could be no question about what we've endured. This is a step towards justice for the women who have been harmed by this individual's actions, and towards hope that he will not be able to cause anyone else the kind of pain, and suffering, we have endured."_

I exited the building trying to shake it away, turned the corner and saw the outline of a figure in the dark, standing against the side of the club. As I walked past her, I took her hand and we started for home, quickly maneuvering our way through the city before the press could descend on the club. She said what she needed to for now, the video's, and the pictures, could say the rest.

As we entered the apartment she looked dazed, she unzipped her hoodie and carefully placed it on one of the kitchen stools, before grabbing a glass from the shelf and pouring herself water. I stood, uselessly, by the door unsure of what to do. She pulled out her phone, which was off, and stared at the blank screen.

"Don't." I said, finally breaking my own trance and headed into the kitchen with her. I gently pulled her phone away and placed it on the counter before pulling her close to me.

"What's happening in your head?" My voice was gentle, if not pleading.

"What if I made the wrong choice? What if he tries to hurt one of the other girls? What if he comes for me?" I felt her arms wrap tightly around me as her hands grasped my shirt tightly.

I ran one of my hands through her hair, trying to soothe her. "You made the choice you felt was right, and everyone supported you, all you can do now is keep going. If you keep questioning yourself you'll go crazy."

She took a deep, shaky, breath as she nodded against me. We separated and she headed into the bathroom to get ready for bed.

I heard the shower turn on before I slid onto the floor in the kitchen. I pulled my phone out and clicked on the link. The photos of the other girls were just as bad as Kari's, one after another, covered in bruises, dead looking eyes stared back at me. Then there was the video, the one I'd so specifically avoided, until hearing pieces tonight as I left the bar. I watched as he threw her down, kicked her in the ribs, crouching down, grabbed her hair, and shouting in her face. He screamed at her to stand up, calling her a slew of names, until he dragged her up and pushed her onto the bed. This, all while she begged him to stop. The screen went black before it went further, but the worst was implied.

My hand was shaking, I wanted to scream, or hit something, but all I could do was sit on the floor and let tears stream down my face. I pushed my palms against my eyes to try to stop it, to stop the most useless thing I could do, but the only thing I could manage. I was an adult now but still felt like an absolute, fucking, cry baby.

I felt my phone vibrate in my hand and picked it up without thinking, assuming it would be my brother checking on us. "Hello," my voice betrayed me, quivering and pathetic.

"You sound like shit T.K., she dragging you down with her, or just having a rough night?" The male voice happily chirped through the phone, mocking me.

"Michael?" My voice was like venom.

"Releasing those videos was a mistake."

"You son of a bit-."

He cut me off, his voice was calm. "That's sweet, but I'm going to stop you right there. This is not going to end well for any of you, you have a chance to step back from this, go back to Japan. Forget about her. She left you once-"

"Screw you," I was screaming into the phone. I wanted to be calm, to prove he wasn't getting to me, to us, but again I was failing. "I'm not going anywhere, and you're going to jail, you piece of shit."

"That's cute, but by the time I'm finished with her, and they find her, I'll be long gone." He taunted.

"You won't get close enough to touch her." My entire body was shaking, I was holding my phone in a vice grip, I knew he was just trying to get to me, and it was working, which was just making me angrier.

"We'll see. If you really love her you may want to commit her to memory, it will all be over soon."

"If you come near her I'll fucking kill you!" The phone went dead with the sound of his laughter, and a click.

"T.K?" Kari was standing in the hallway, hair still wet, wearing one of my shirts.

She flinched when she saw me, I must have looked crazed. I tried to calm down, the last thing I wanted to be was someone who scared her.

"We have." I stopped, hearing my voice shake. "We have to call them."

"He called _you_?" She walked towards me, reaching out for my hands that were still shaking. "What did he say?"

"We need to call them." I said, again. She looked scared, but I didn't want to have to replay it more then once.

She quickly went into the bedroom to get the number we needed to call, we'd been prepared for him to contact us but we thought it would be her he reached out to, not me. I started to play it over in my head, wishing I had recorded it, something we were suppose to do if he reached out, and how I should have been more calm, how I shouldn't have made threats. My head spiraled around, and around, but I shoved it down as she put the paper into my hands.

He should have been in custody that night, but we should have known it wouldn't have been that easy, life is never that easy, is it?

* * *

A/N: I want to thank Andy, RogueSummersLover, Undesirable13, Ai Star, and SweetDevil01 for reviewing last chapter! SweetDevil01 I'm so happy you liked my portrayal of Davis! I always thought once he grew out of his Kari phase he would be a really solid friend.

Please let me know what you think! Things don't calm down next chapter so I can't wait to get it out, it's going to be a big one. Hopefully in a few weeks.


	27. Chapter 27

Edited 10/9/18

Thank you for the reviews from last chapter! Lets get right back into it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or the song, Run For Your Life, by the Beatles.

Follow the playlist on Spotify: Playlist FF

* * *

" _Well you know that I'm a wicked guy_

 _And I was born with a jealous mind_

 _and I can't spend my whole life_

 _Trying just to make you toe the line."_

* * *

There was a time that I trusted my intuition as fact. I'd have a drop in my stomach, a feeling in my chest, a scent, or deja vu, and I just seemed to know things I shouldn't.

The day everyone met at summer camp I was home sick with a high fever. I'd dreamed of Tai and the others, and not just Sora, who I knew, but all the rest. I saw them running through a lush forest, lost, and scared, yet brave, and courageous. I woke up worried, but knew deep down that my brother would be okay. I remember focusing on the boys with the light hair, I'd never met anyone with hair so naturally blonde before, I thought they must be angels who would protect my brother from harm.

When I was thirteen I woke up one morning to the smell of my grandmothers perfume. It surrounded me with it's heavy musk, notes of vanilla, patchouli, and sandalwood. Tai walked in the room several minutes later, his face grim, I looked at him with tears in my eyes and asked if our grandmother had passed. She hadn't been sick, it was just age, just her time, but he didn't have to tell me, I knew.

At sixteen I'd been at rehearsal for a school play when I'd collapsed with pain in my ankle, a sharp jab that went away as quickly as it came on. I got up and started running for the gym, when I barged through the doors into the basketball practice I saw the team huddled around the floor, surrounding T.K. who'd been tripped. He dislocated his ankle and was on crutches for six weeks.

The night my grandfather passed I dreamed of him and my grandmother, when they were young together, at a festival. She wore a pale, pink, yukata, smiling so brightly, and him shy and unsure. That morning I woke to the smell of his cigar smoke knowing, just like with her, that he was already gone, but at peace because they were finally together again.

The feelings in my chest, that I'd trusted so much to guide me as an adolescent, had been suffocated and extinguished over the past four years.

"You seem distracted today."

I stopped picking my nails and looked up at Christine. She was in her late thirties, average height, with mousey brown hair and bright blue eyes. She smiled warmly at me, inviting me to say something, anything, during our session today. It had been about a month since the show, and since Michael's call. I started therapy right before that night, and had been coming twice a week since then. I'd been pretty open with her so far but today was different.

"I woke up feeling weird," I shrugged. "I'm not really sure. It's probably just paranoia."

I was trying to reason with my intuition, trying to do what I'd done over the past several years and talk myself out of what I already knew, that something was coming. I'd been having this dream the past few nights, sticky looking orange hair, like it was stained the color. I woke up each night unsettled, remembering nothing but the hair. I really wanted to believe it was just a dream.

After I started seeing Michael, things changed, and my instincts about people never seemed right. I walked into situations I would have run from in the past. I could never read him, or who he would become as the days changed. Eventually I stopped tuning in, I stopped listening to my heart, and stopped trusting myself.

Her voice guided me back to the present, "That's a valid feeling, all things considered."

Of course it was. Michael hadn't been arrested yet, and there was a warrant out for his arrest, but after the show he disappeared. I spent every day since then looking over my shoulder.

"How much longer is your brother going to be here?" She moved to a more comfortable subject, someone she knew I could talk about, a solvable problem.

"He's leaving at the end of the week," I was sad to see him go, having him here had been a huge source of comfort. Davis had gone back about a week after the show, while Tai decided to stay longer, hoping to still be here when Michael was caught.

"How are you feeling about the status of your relationship with him, do you feel good about where you are?"

After Michael, my family, and T.K., had been the largest focus of our sessions.

"He feels bad leaving right now, and I can tell it's straining him, so things have been a little more tense than I'd like before he goes, but that part of it can't really be helped. Besides that, I think we are good, we've talked through everything else. I'm lucky we were always able to communicate so well, even after all our time apart, it's like we picked up where we left off."

"Did you pick a date to go back and visit?"

 _Go back_ , the thing she'd been encouraging me to do since session two. Going back home was part of my "recovery plan." Seeing my family again, trying to make amends with all the friends I'd left behind, and trying to make amends with myself. I talked with everyone about it, and as a group, we decided to all travel back for the holidays this year. I couldn't remember the last time we'd all been together for them, because of how much longer Matt had been in the States, it was maybe close to six years. It was an easy decision for everyone once we started talking about it.

I didn't realize how much better I'd feel knowing I would see Tai so soon again. After talking through our relationship, and what had changed since leaving, there was a part of me felt grateful for our time apart. I never thought I could survive in this world without him, he was my protector, my best friend, and the person I could rely on for anything. Maybe If I never left I'd still feel like I needed him, maybe I'd still be basing all my biggest decisions on what he'd think. Our relationship felt different now though, I felt like an equal, someone who had experienced a dark part of the world and survived. I didn't feel like his naive little sister anymore.

Therapy hadn't been all shiny though, and some days I left feeling worse than when I walked in. Some days, especially ones where we discussed the miscarriage, or the abuse, I'd go home and be low, laying in the bedroom in the dark for a long time. Replaying our conversations over, and over, again, while seeing the scenes play out in my head. Once I'd processed it though I did start to feel better. I'd see that things weren't my fault, that certain reactions were warranted, and that I didn't need to feel guilty forever. So, I'd take the initial pain, or crazy, I felt after therapy if it meant I'd work through the sludge in my head and gain clarity back into my life.

When I left that day, there was a cloud that continued to hang over my head, even though we hadn't gone into anything extremely serious. I walked out into the late summer heat feeling almost dazed. I wished I had someone come with me today, normally T.K., Sora, or Tai had been coming, and waiting, so I didn't have to walk alone, but today our session had been earlier than usual and I didn't want to wake anyone.

It was just around nine in the morning now and the city was still bustling with commuters. I thought about stopping and grabbing breakfast. I rushed out so quick I hadn't even eaten anything yet, I wondered if that had to do with the way I felt, of course I'd feel off if I didn't eat.

I was about a block away from the subway when I felt his hand loop around my waist and something hard pushed into my back.

"Walk," Michael's voice was low, as he pushed the object under my shirt, I could feel the metal against my skin. He put his mouth against my ear and I felt the heat from his breath on my skin, I felt sick, bile crept up into my throat, but I swallowed it back. I wanted to scream, or beg for help from the people pushing past us, but I felt completely paralyzed. With a simple pull of the trigger he could kill me right here. So I walked.

He said nothing else as he pushed us through the streets, and around corners, until the commuters thinned out and the buildings looked less, and less, welcoming. He guided me towards what, I assumed, must have been an abandoned warehouse. It was a three story, brick, building that took up half of the street, windows had been smashed on some of the upper stories, and where a sign once hung was just a blank, metal, plate.

He looked behind him and then took us through a door and into a large empty space. Once we were inside he pushed me towards the floor. I hit the concrete and dust, that had long sat untouched, went into my lungs. I coughed, and tried to ignore the pain in my hands, and knees, from the fall. I turned, and pushed myself further back trying to create more distance between us. I looked around the room trying to find another exit. I saw two separate hallways, both dark, but no other obvious way out. There was dimmed light coming in through thick, distorted, windows.

He started pacing back and forth while mumbling under his breath. I'd never seen him look so disheveled. His hair was sticking out, as if he just woke up, when it was usually carefully placed. His eyes were bloodshot and he had dark purple circles under them, clearly showing his lack of sleep. His face, normally clean shaven, was covered in stubble, he rubbed his hand over his jaw before focusing in on me.

I stood, slowly. "People will be looking for me," my voice was calm, calmer than I thought possible for the current situation.

"Let them come, I can take care of all of you at once," his hands flew in the air, the gun pointed this way, and that, as it was held lazily in his hand.

"Michael, just let me go. I won't tell anyone I saw you," I put my hands up in front of me, in a show of surrender, thinking maybe I could still reason with him.

He tapped the gun against his head, "You think I'm stupid," He was mocking me, and trying to scare me.

It was working.

His eyes were wild, and dark, his pupils were so dilated I questioned if he was on drugs.

I thought about my brother, how I'd just gotten him back, and my parents who I hadn't even fully mended things with. I thought about the friends who I was desperate to apologize to, about Sora and Matt, who'd taken care of me like family over the past several months. Then T.K., I saw his face in my mind, wanting to imprint it there, his crystal blue eyes, sweet smile, and golden hair.

I just got my life back. I wasn't ready to lose it. I wasn't ready to let go.

"What did you think Kari? You were just going to _tarnish_ my name and walk away like nothing happened?" He shook the gun at me, his finger stayed off the trigger, it was the only thing my eyes could focus on.

"I don't think I'm coming out unscathed considering what got us to this point."

"Watch your mouth," He strode towards me, pushing me against a wall I'd backed up into, putting the gun against my face, "I didn't ask for your fucking input."

My breathe hitched, I felt the cold steel against my skin, as I stared down at the barrel.

He pushed off of me and started pacing, "You all think you're so goddamn smart, and special, the _chosen_ ones."

"We didn't ask for it-" I tried to respond but he cut me off.

"I didn't tell you to talk!" He edged closer, but backed up again, his footprints erasing the dust from the floor.

He stopped dead in his tracks and looked toward me again with those wild eyes. "If you open up a portal I'll let you go."

I felt my blood run cold, he had lost his mind, he knew I couldn't do that. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't play stupid Kari, you know what I'm talking about. I'll go there. I'll take what always should have been mine."

"You-you know that's not possible."

"Stop, you all said that, but it's a lie. I know you always kept the rest of us away!"

He was delusional. He had to be.

"Was that why you picked me?" I tried to keep my voice strong but I was wavering.

"Why else would I have spent so long on you?" I flinched, even after everything it was still painful to hear, that I was just a tool. "Come on, you know you aren't even my type. I'd have taken Mimi if she had half of your power, but she's no where near as useful as you should have been."

"Useful?"

He strode towards me again, "Light, innocence, and purity." He pushed against me and let his fingers trace against my face. "Corrupting you should have been the solution. I'd cause pain to create destruction. It should have been enough!" He slammed his fist against the wall, so close to my head, I thought he was going to hit me.

"It was easy, watching you suffer, because you're so pathetic. Watching you beg for me to stop and watching your light dim. I could see it, ya know. Like an aura around you, slowly start to die out. I should have just extinguished the flame earlier."

I shook my head, "I don't glow. I don't shine. I'm just a person!" I felt tears prick my eyes as I screamed back at him. I fought against them, not wanting him to see my fear.

He stepped back, pointing the gun at me again. "LIAR! You don't deserve the power. You don't even see it. It's wasted on you."

"I don't understand what you think you'll find there. I don't know what you thought I'd open up."

"That's why you're bunch was always so stupid." He backed away, pacing again. "You had a world at your fingertips and you did nothing with it! Except that one guy who took over for a while, until he bitched out. If you take that world you'll eventually get this one."

"We stopped everyone from doing exactly that? You think if you found a way in we wouldn't stop you too?"

"So you _do_ have a way in!"

"No, I said _if_ you found one."

"More Lies!" He pointed the gun at me again, for the first time with his finger near the trigger, and I thought my heart would stop in that moment. No one was coming and no one could save me. This was it, after everything I'd faced in life, it would be a man with a gun that took me away.

Before that happened though, I needed to know, "Why Trevor's sister?"

A wicked smile crossed his face, "She was pissing me off, so I hit her. She was going to press charges, so I pushed her. She was nothing."

He said it as nonchalantly as someone giving you their grocery list. I felt chills run down my arms and tears, silently, fell from my eyes.

"Last chance Kari, help me get in, we can take it together," he moved closer to me.

I was shaking my head, "There isn't a way."

I'd never get to go home, never get to see my family all together again, and I'd never get to see T.K. again.

"So if you won't let me in, maybe destroying you, putting out the flame, maybe that's the way."

I closed my eyes and thought of T.K., I heard a shot, and then there was nothing.

* * *

I woke up to an empty bad, not unlike other days, because she was always the first one up, but it felt different today. There was a note saying she would be back just after nine in the morning, and it was a little after eight-thirty now. I rolled out of bed and threw on a pair of gym shorts, and a black T-shirt I had laying on the floor, before heading out into the apartment.

The last month had been a bit of a whirlwind. The first week was paralyzing. We waited, hoping that Michael would be caught, but he was nowhere to be found. I'd lost it after the phone call. Kari had finally fallen asleep from pure exhaustion, but I'd been wired, and pacing around the apartment, when Matt, Tai, Davis, and Sora had finally made it back. They stayed out, wanting to give us some time, and in all the chaos I realized I hadn't even called any of them. I started rambling, nonsense I'm sure, I don't remember what I was saying, just that my voice was shaking as much as my body was.

I think someone had been saying my name, finally I felt my brothers hands gripping my arms, he shook me a bit. He got me to sit down and explain everything. For the first time in years I saw real fear cross Tai's face, it was quick before it moved to rage, and it was him then that starting pacing. Sora tried to convince the two of us that the police would take care of it, but even Matt was looking ready for blood. Davis, strangely, stayed back. For the first time he looked afraid to jump into a situation that he wasn't directly part of. At the end of the day we knew we were dealing with a murderer, and it changed everything.

Davis, apologetically, left soon after, needing to get back to Japan and to a life he was trying to build there. Tai would be leaving soon as well, he'd been getting all his travel plans in order over the past few days. We started making plans to go home for the holidays, it felt good to know we'd see our friends again soon, I don't know how my brother and Kari stayed away so long. I'd only been gone a few months and truly missed each and every one of them.

I heard Tai in the bathroom so I headed into the kitchen. I made breakfast, cleaned the dishes, and started writing at the kitchen counter before he emerged from the bathroom. He was still toweling off his hair from the shower as he glanced at the clock on the wall.

"She's not back yet?" I looked at the clock, it read nine-fifteen. She should have been walking through the door any minute.

I picked up my phone and called her but it went straight to voicemail, "She puts in on 'do not disturb' when she's in sessions."

He looked weary, "She'd have been done by now."

"We'd know if something was wrong," I reasoned, but there was a feeling eating away at me that made me second guess myself.

"Would we?" He walked over to his bag, digging through until he found a shirt and tugged it over his head. He picked up his phone, "No messages, either."

Suddenly my phone started ringing, I looked down feeling a lightness assuming it was her, but it was immediately crushed by the weight of the number attached.

There are certain moments you never forget in your life. One was the day I understood the weight of my parents divorce, and the knowledge that my brother was leaving me too. One was the moment I met Kari, and another was the day she disappeared.

This moment, this call, and the voice talking on the other end, this would be another.

* * *

A/N: A cliffhanger, I'm so sorry. I'll update asap, I'm working on the next chapter, but it's a lot so I want to make sure I get it right. Please review and let me know your feelings. 3


	28. Chapter 28

Edited 10/10/18

A/N:Thank you, SweetDevil01, Ai Star, BDC, and the two Guest reviewers from last chapter! 3

So, I originally edited this entire chapter with the intention of getting it out on Sunday but nothing was saved on the site and I had to re-edit the whole thing. Crossing my fingers I don't miss anything. I promised I'd get this out quick for you all!

I don't own Digimon or the song Nightingale, by Demi Lovato.

* * *

" _I can't sleep tonight  
Wide awake and so confused  
Everything's in line  
But I am bruised  
I need a voice to echo  
I need a light to take me home  
I kinda need a hero  
Is it you?"_

* * *

His hair was the first thing I noticed on the day we finally met, like a golden halo around his head, cascading over pale skin. The same golden hair I remembered from my dreams.

Once things calmed I tugged on Tai's sleeve, he knelt down in front of me with a worried glance. I got close, so no one could hear, asking if the small boy was foreign. He looked confused for a moment before he realized who I was talking about, viably relaxing now that he knew it was just a simple question. He told me T.K. and his brother were half french, so they would look a little different than us, I looked around my brother at the exotic little boy with wonder. I hadn't ever known someone my age who looked like him, like and angel, I thought. A golden haired angel, with bright blue eyes, just like the one from my dream.

* * *

The first thing I saw after opening my eyes was blood pooling into blonde hair, followed by the pain in my side, and a ringing in my ears. I felt someone gently pull me back as a scream escaped his mouth. The room was suddenly filled with police as they radioed for medics.

I lost sight of him as I was pulled out of the room and away from the scene, the startling vision of orange and red tinged hair, burned into my memory, the same scene from my recent nightmares.

It was something I'd always compared between the two, the biggest physical trait they shared, their hair, almost identical in color. For a moment I almost thought it was T.K. laying there on the ground.

I felt two hands on my shoulders before I was spun around to an officer that I'd come to know over the past few weeks, I saw her mouth moving but I couldn't register the words, a high pitched ringing still echoing in my head. She pulled me further away from Michael, and out of the building.

"Kari, hey, can you hear me?" Her voice came into focus.

I nodded, "Yea, sorry, my ears." My voice was muffled in my own head.

"The gun was fired close to you so I'm not surprised, we tried to wait and get a better angle, but he was about to shoot so we had to take it. He's down though, it's over. We got him."

"Is he-" I paused, turning to look back inside the building, "Is he dead?"

"He's alive for now, he was just shot in the shoulder, so he will probably make it." I heard ambulance sirens as she spoke, they became louder until I saw the lights round the corner, and the sound halted.

She directed them through the doors to the old warehouse. I still felt dazed as someone else started asking me questions. I heard another voice use the word shock. I looked down and saw for the first time the blood on my clothing, splattered along my arms, and shirt.

* * *

T.K and I ran down the busy street, dodging around people as we went, trying desperately to get to Kari. Maria, the officer we had been working with over the past several weeks, made the call to him after they caught Michael. They said Kari was physically okay, but out of it, and obviously shaken from the situation. They wouldn't go into detail over the phone, just that there had been _an incident,_ the fear of what that might mean made my legs move quicker.

She was sitting on the edge of an ambulance when we got there, we both skidded to a stop, seeing her covered in blood, it was across her shirt, arms, and face. She seemed to register our gaze.

"It's not mine," her voice sounded far away. T.K. moved forward to wrap her in his arms, "It's not mine."

I forced myself back, watching him whisper hushed words of comfort to her, knowing that my place as her protector had been fully passed on to the only other person in this world I'd trust with her.

Maria approached me, "She said she doesn't want to go to the hospital, she just wants to go home, but I'd like to come ask some questions if she's up for it." She shoved her hands in her pockets, looking towards me, but around us at the same time. Trying to keep order of the situation as it continued to unfold.

"What the hell happened? Why did it reach a point of her covered in blood?" My voice was hushed, I didn't want Kari to hear me.

The police had been following us for the past month while they waited for Michael to make a move. They thought his narcissism would win out and he'd come for her, and turns out they were right, but from what I understood they were suppose to apprehend him at first site.

"He had a gun on her, we couldn't intervene without the possibility of him hurting her so we had to wait until we could get a shot, we never intended for her to be in any danger." She looked strained, I believed her, but was still frustrated that it had gone this far.

Not only had she almost been murdered, but now she was witness to someone being shot, and I didn't know how much more trauma she could handle. At the same time, I knew about tough decisions, and knew she'd been the only reason Kari was still standing here.

I took a breath, "Thank you for keeping her alive." I looked into Maria's dark brown eyes, as she placed a hand on my shoulder and nodded.

"Let the medics clear her and then we will get you all home." She gave my shoulder a squeeze before heading into the warehouse next to us, blocked off now by caution tape and a slew of officers.

* * *

"I thought it was you for a second." I studied his face, the curves and edges, reaching out and trying to make sure he was really there. "All I saw was blonde hair covered in blood and I knew someone had pushed me out of the way."

"I'm right here. We're safe. It's over." He brushed the hair away from my face, and pulled me close until our foreheads were touching.

I clenched my eyes shut trying to drive the memories away. "He's alive. They shot him, but he was screaming, and they rushed him away right before you got here."

"He can't hurt you anymore. I'm sorry I didn't come this morning. I'm so sorry you were alone," he ran his hands through my hair, smoothing it down, the hushed, calm, tone of his voice put me slightly at ease.

"It's what he waited for, me alone, so maybe it's for the best," I tried to rationalize with myself, but the truth was I did wish I'd have woken someone up, he didn't deserve that guilt though.

I pulled back and saw Maria walk away from Tai, he turned towards us to head over. I looked down at T.K.'s shirt, spots of blood covered his from touching mine.

T.K. made space for Tai, and he reached out but I tried to stop him, "You'll get blood on you."

He stopped for a moment, a pained expression crossed his face, before he put his arms protectively around me and held me tight.

"I don't care. I'm just happy you're alive. I don't know what I'd have done if you'd have been hurt," Tai said. His eyes clenched tightly shut.

"It's over," I repeated T.K.'s words. Trying to convince myself that it really was. Tai nodded, pulling back.

"If you're ready I can take you back." Maria said, walking towards us. "Kari, I'd like to ask you some questions when we get there, I'd rather not pull you into the station."

I agreed, just wanting to be home more than anything. We piled into her car and made the drive back to the apartment in silence. I kept my gaze down, but staring at the blood was making me dizzy, so I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the way the city sounded around us. They got him, I kept repeating to myself. Willing myself to believe that we were all safe now.

* * *

When we got back to the apartment I brought Kari into the bedroom. "But, I want to go to the bathroom and," she paused, "wash up." She finished, uncomfortably.

"I know," I said, picking up the damp towel from the floor that I'd had Matt put in here for us. She started to protest. "Please," I said, as I gently started to wipe his blood off of her arms.

She stood still while I finished her arms and looked confused as I moved to her neck, I knew she didn't know, she hadn't seen what we had. When I moved to her face realization crossed her features, tears welled in her eyes as I cleared her face of the blood that speckled it, they started to fall as I finished wiping the last bit away. I dropped the towel and pulled her down to the floor, into my lap, and let her cry, running my hands through her hair and down her back trying to calm her, knowing there were no words. I breathed deeply, asking her gently to follow my breath, and after a few minutes she was finally able to calm down.

There was a knock on the door and I told them to give us a few more minutes before we would be out. I pulled back and reached for the clean clothes Sora laid out for her.

Kari got up and took them from my hands, quietly thanking me. She changed, moving her gaze from the stained clothing the best she could. She pulled the tape off of her chest and hip and pulled a small recording device from her body, she'd been wearing it every time she left the house for three weeks now, part of the plan from the police. If Michael did show up they wanted as much evidence as they could get once they took him in.

I replaced my own stained shirt with a discarded one from the floor.

"You ready?" I asked, as she grabbed the recording device and turned towards the door.

"Let's get this over with," she opened the door, pausing, before heading out into the living room.

Sora, Matt, and Tai were seated on the couch, Maria was standing next to them in front of the coffee table, and we took the love seat across from them. Kari set the device on the table in from of her.

"What do you need to know?" Kari asked, looking towards Maria.

She was in her late thirties, with olive skin, dark brown hair, and brown eyes. She had slight wrinkles around her eyes, and mouth, but otherwise looked young for her age. She didn't seem like a typical detective, sometimes it felt like we knew more about the investigation than we were suppose to, almost like we were her equals instead of her assignment. She had a warmth to her, and a heaviness, like she knew how painful the world could be, and wanted you to believe she could keep you safe. She'd been assigned to the investigation right after the show, and had been following Kari in the weeks since, waiting for Michael to show up.

She was about to start talking when the door opened, I was surprised to see Izzy and Mimi walking in, they stopped wide eyed, taking in the situation.

"I'm sorry, we didn't call, should we come back?" Mimi, started backing out.

"No, come in, it's best if you're all here," I glanced up at Maria, curious as to why she'd have them stay. They made they way into the apartment and came to sit on the floor next to us.

I looked around, and for a moment was taken back to another time, when sitting around couches during harsh, and unfair, circumstances was normal for us.

"Michael was stabilized and is in recovery." Mimi perked up, ready to start asking questions, but Izzy placed a hand on her shoulder so she held back. "My hope is that his attorneys settle and this doesn't go to trial, at this point the amount of evidence we have is substantial, so it would surprise me if he pushed for the courts." She paused, looking strained, like she wasn't sure if she should continue. She looked between our group before her eyes refocused on Kari.

"The recording from today, it's … important that I address some things. You know I've been listening to everything except your therapy appointments?" Kari nodded in response, confusion in her eyes.

"He asked you to open up a portal?"

Kari's eyes went wide, she tried to compose herself but the rest of us didn't help. Sora inhaled sharply, Matt and Tai shared a strained look, while I completely avoided everyone's gaze. I saw Mimi clutching Izzy's arm tightly, I glanced up towards him but he only looked more curious at how the conversation was unfolding.

"He was acting crazy, I wouldn't be surprised if he had been on drugs, so I'm not sure what he was talking about." Kari finally responded, trying to come up with some sort of explanation.

"You talked as if you knew what he was referring to," Maria crouched down before taking a seat on the floor, reading the situation and bringing herself down to our level, instead of talking above us.

"I played along, I thought it was better to accept his version of reality as fact than try to fight it and make him angrier. It's not like it's the first time I accepted lies coming out of his mouth to keep myself alive."

Maria's mouth was in a thin line, her eyes down, her lack of response was as good as her telling us she didn't believe her. Kari was fidgeting with her hands in her lap, I reached over and grabbed one of them, squeezing gently, trying to reassure her that she was doing okay.

"Why does whatever crazy shit that came out of his mouth matter? He tried to kill her." Matt leaned forward, looking towards Maria.

It was Mimi's turn to react, unable to hold in her questions, knowing that she had missed something very important. "Wait, what happened?" She turned to Kari, for the first time really taking in the situation, "Is that – Is that blood in your hair?"

Kari flinched, she quickly explained what happened, Mimi's eyes glossed over, sadness and fear etched in them.

Maria gently cleared her throat, wanting to continue the conversation. "To answer you Matt, it might not if he settles, but if he goes in front of a jury and starts ranting and raving, she may have to be able to answer these questions," Maria looked towards Matt with a gentle gaze, not wanting an argument.

The room fell quiet.

Maria sighed, and pulled out her phone. "Ya know, I spent some time in Japan before being assigned here in New York."

We hesitantly looked around at each other, no one daring to talk, we waited for her to continue.

"Years ago, I worked with a small, but specialized group, where we got trained in fighting _digital_ terrorism. I stayed in touch with some people when I returned back to the States."

Kari was squeezing my hand so tight my fingers had gone numb. Tai's mouth was hanging open, while Matt was trying his best to keep his face neutral. Sora, it seemed, had given up and was leaning forward as if Maria was about to tell us we were needed again.

"I'm sorry, but, what?" Izzy, blinked a few times, looking more perplexed than I'd ever seen him before. Over the years he'd started to be a bit more careful with his speech, wanting to make sure he didn't dig us into a hole, he held back from saying anything else.

"You may have been in contact with some of my colleagues." A solemn look crossed Maria's face, "I was sad to hear of the passing of one of those individuals, Diago Nishijima, he'd become a good friend."

We all looked towards Tai who's face had gone white. Matt slammed his hands down on the table, "If you know so much why are you bothering with all the questions."

She looked at my brother gently, "My intentions are only to help you all." She opened up an app on her phone. "This is the only current recording from today."

She placed the phone on the table, for all of us to see, as she deleted the recording. She picked up the recording device, dropped the small microphone onto the floor, and crushed it under her shoe. "Kari your microphone was destroyed today during a scuffle with Michael, before we got inside the building and close enough to gauge the situation, do you understand?"

Kari nodded, wide eyed, "Thank you."

"Izzy," She reached into her pocket and pulled out a flash drive. "I retrieved this from his computer, he was trying to find a way back in, but I don't think he found anything of substance. I deleted everything from his hard drive so this is the only copy."

He reached for it, studying it with skepticism, as she placed it into his hands. "How long have you known?"

"We've been monitoring Michael for three years."

"Three years!" Tai and Matt shouted.

Kari sunk into the seat further.

"You're telling me you knew he was trying to do this shit, for three years, and you let my sister be close to him?" Tai's voice was low, and dangerous, he didn't look at the group, his gaze firmly down towards his feet.

"We didn't know about the abuse allegations, we didn't know she was in danger, and honestly we assumed she was helping him."

Kari leaned forward, "He mentioned it once, way back in the beginning, when he was still hiding the worst of himself." Her voice was quiet, thoughtful, like she was trying to take herself back to that place. "He asked me if I ever thought about going back, I told him we couldn't so it was easier not to dwell on it, and it would only make me miss my friends to do so. He didn't bring it up again." She pulled her legs up onto the couch and curled closer to me.

We never liked to think about what we left behind back then. We made the best choice we could and closed the worlds off, so at least for now, no one could get back.

"I'm sorry for everything you've all been put through, especially you Kari. We try to stay out of your lives, we don't want to involve you all if we don't have to, you've been through enough. Maybe our approach isn't always the best, but if we bothered you every time there was a disturbance, we'd be bothering you a couple times a year." We looked around, curious about that, but she waved us off. "They always turn out to be nothing serious, or I'm sorry to say you all _would_ know about it."

"I keep track of everything, _I'm sorry to say,_ but I'd already know well before any of you." Izzy replied, confidently.

Maria smirked, "It's one of the reasons we don't bother you. After the last situation, we know you'll always know first."

Izzy looked pleased with her answer.

"Wait," Matt rubbed his temples, trying to calm himself down, and keep his temper in check. "Back up, who is we? Aren't you with NYPD?"

"Yes, but I guess you could also call it a cover. I still work with the other organization as needed, so I'm trusting you all to keep this secret, just as I plan to keep yours. Kari, I didn't want you blindsided by these questions, I needed you to be prepared in case they come up, but know that I will do everything I can to prevent that from happening." She got up and started to gather her things. "If you're being interviewed, and it does get mentioned, tell them he's delusional. There is no proof except his word over yours, and he's proved to be less than stable." She headed for the door. "I'll be in touch, get some rest kids. And Tai?"

He looked towards her, silent.

"Some people will probably be in contact. I know you're looking into politics, but we could use you, and you'd probably be happier knowing what's _actually_ going on." She didn't give him a chance to answer. She walked out and quietly closed the door, leaving only the sound of her footsteps as she walked down the stairs.

My eyes settled on Tai, who's face was scrunched up like he was trying to decipher a puzzle. It was my brother who graciously ended the silence.

"For fucks sake," He scratched the back of his head before getting up and heading into the kitchen. Pots, and pans, started to clank around, I heard the water running and the burner turned on.

"Matt what are you doing?" Sora prodded gently.

"Cooking."

She looked ready to get up but decided against it and sunk further into the couch. "Hun, I don't think anyone is hungry."

"It's this or punch a wall. I'm evolving, please accept me." He wasn't trying to be funny, it was as honest as my brother had ever been, but considering the circumstances I had to stop myself from snorting, but Tai didn't.

He started chuckling and it was infectious around the room. Sora, and I, couldn't keep it together either, and once we got going, the rest of the room fell apart as well. Matt ignored us all, continuing to bang, and clank, around finding what he needed.

Tai wiped at his eyes, "Oh man, I missed you."

"Whaaatever," Matt dragged it out, smirking from the kitchen.

I hadn't noticed Izzy, as he took out his computer, and turned to the noise of him click-clacking away. Mimi was looking over his shoulder but bored quickly, and instead jumped onto the couch with Sora.

I looked down at Izzy's laptop and saw the flash drive inserted. "Anything in there?"

"So, Michael was lacking a most basic understanding of how, absolutely anything technology related would work. What's on here is a good amount of poorly thought out ideas, and nonsensical rambling."

"No one said I dated him because he was a genius," Kari shrugged next to me.

"He's always been very pretty, but not very bright, and that's coming from me." Mimi added seriously.

"While I'm glad we are back to the black comedy of this group, I'm still trying to gather that we are _still_ being watched in some capacity, by now, several different countries," Tai focused back onto the thing we were all avoiding.

"I mean, after what happened the last time we were needed I'm not all that surprised. When I've gone into their system's I haven't found anything that should alarm us. If anything just think of them as backup, as I said, if anything comes up I'll know if there is danger before they do."

"Wait you've hacked into their systems?" Sora, stared wide eyed at Izzy.

"Of course, anything relating to the safety and information of this group, and the digital world, is my business. The only reason I didn't know Michael was trying to get in was because he would have never found a way in, he wasn't resourceful or smart enough to set off any alarms."

"Good to know killing me wouldn't have opened a portal," Kari said, flatly.

"Probably not, we'd need to test the theory and that's not really an option." Mimi smacked her hand over her face at Izzy's response, before looking to Kari and mouthing, 'Sorry.'

Kari's face went white, "I need a drink." She got up and headed over to the liquor cabinet.

"Make it two." Tai said.

"Three." I called over.

"Honey, Just bring the bottle." Mimi motioned back towards us.

Kari grabbed as many glasses as she could fit in her hand while balancing a bottle of whiskey under her arm.

She poured out four glasses before taking a long swig out of the bottle.

"Over here?" Matt walked around the counter and she tossed it to him before he did the same.

Tai, and I, shared a look. At least I wasn't the only one who cringed every time I saw them drink that stuff like it was nothing.

"So, what now?" Sora, and Mimi sat forward as Matt brought over the bottle, setting it by Kari. He headed back and grabbed the noodle dish he had been cooking in the other room, and passed out food before sitting on the floor in front of Sora.

"In terms of the digital world, and the group, I think we can continue on as normal. Tai, I would be interested to hear what they have to say to you. Keep me posted?"

"You know I will. I mean, I'm not even sure that's what I would ever want. I'm not looking to be a cop or some sort of secret agent." It was funny hearing Tai say that, fifteen years ago I would have thought that's exactly what he wanted.

"Maybe that's not what they need," Kari left her food, after mostly just moving it around her bowl, and sat forward looking towards her brother. "Maybe having one of us on the inside, advocating for us and the digital world in a thoughtful, and realistic way, is something deeply necessary. Maybe what they need is a bridge."

"A bridge?" Tai said, his mouth full of food. "What, like an ambassador?" He swallowed, and finished with a laugh.

"Actually, that makes a lot of sense, it would be nice to have someone speaking for us on the inside." Izzy agreed, finally closing up his laptop.

"Huh," Tai had this look of amazement cross his face.

There was suddenly an aggressive knock on the door. "You guys in there?" John's frantic voice bellowed through the wood.

"Yea, come in!" Matt shouted.

John, and Colin, barreled into the room.

"Guys did you hear? They caught him!" John said, excitedly.

"Yea, it's all over the ne -" Colin stopped, and backtracked into the kitchen. "Oh man, I'm starving." He started scooping food into a bowl, completely forgetting his message to the group.

Matt rolled his eyes, "Yea, we know."

"Did the police call you or," John paused, looking around and taking the group in, the half full glasses and opened bottle sitting at Kari's feet. "We missed something didn't we."

"Take a seat," Matt waved his hand towards the floor.

They sat opposite of Izzy and settled in as we explained the last several hours, specifically leaving out anything relating to the digital world.

After about an hour Kari excused herself to take a shower. Mimi and Izzy left for the night, while John and Colin stayed for a little while longer, I think everyone appreciated the lightness they added to the situation, and the distraction from the digital world element of it.

I excused myself outside, needing some air, because I hadn't processed the day yet. I'd been trying to steal glances at Kari but she had been engaged with the group, as if nothing traumatic had happened. I heard the glass door slide open and turned to see Tai coming outside.

"How are you holding up?" He placed a hand on my shoulder for a moment before leaning onto the railing and looking down at the city.

"Just worried about her. It almost doesn't feel real."

"I know, and we both know how she can hold it all in."

"I'll try talking to her if she is still up, I just want her to be okay."

"Just be here for her. I hate that I need to leave so soon, but I wouldn't trust her in anyone else's hands. I know you'll take care of each other, and I can leave feeling okay knowing that." The city lights left a glow across his face, he smiled, but there was a strain to it, practiced from the constant need to look on the bright side in tragic situations.

"I appreciate the confidence, but," I turned around and leaned back, looking up at the almost starless sky, the little specks hidden behind the city lights. "What if we can't make it?"

"What do you mean."

"Fuck Tai, look at everything she's been through, everything we've been through together. What if being with me ends up just being a reminder of all of it, of all the bad things and all the fucking tragedy."

"T.K., I don't think she could ever look at you and see, or feel, something painful, guilt after leaving _for sure_ , but she's working on all of that. You'll always be the one she can trust, the one who was there through it all, who _stayed_ through it all. If you believe in the two of you and don't give up hope, then you'll both be okay."

I turned back around and glanced out at the city again, at the unsuspecting people walking along, the light laughter, wishing that we could have the unawareness they had, and the simplicity they had.

He put his hands on my shoulders and turned me around so I was facing him, looking down the way a parent might before a lecture, "Look, I know it's always fallen on you to keep the faith, and you've always taken it in stride. She's seeing someone and it's helping, maybe it's time for you do the same. You need a way to process all this fucking trauma too. Promise me you'll look after yourself, as much as her, you deserve some peace too."

I bit the inside of my cheek, avoiding the urge to cry, even though I knew he wouldn't judge me. I knew I needed to talk to someone, about the earth bound aspects of pain I was dealing with, and it felt good to know I'd always have his support. Our family was such a mess growing up, Tai and just taken us right in and made us his family, I'd always be grateful to him.

"I'll do that," I finally managed to say, he smiled, happy I'd accepted what he said without an argument, and sent me off to get some sleep.

When I went into the bedroom I found Kari, leaning against the windowsill, with her back towards me. I went over and wrapped my arms around her shoulders and leaned my head down, resting it onto her shoulder. She put her arms around my own, pulling me tighter, I could see fresh tears on her cheeks.

"It's over," I repeated our mantra from earlier.

"Is it?" Her eyes shut tightly, forcing herself to hold back more tears, "What if I have to go to court?"

"I'll be there."

She kept talking like she didn't hear me, "And all this randomness with the digital world, I mean what if we get called again?"

"I'll be there."

I pulled back and turned her to face me. "I'm always going to be here, as long as you'll have me, we'll deal with everything as it comes, together." I brushed the hair away from her face and wiped the tear streaks away. "Got it?"

She leaned against me and I let my arms wrap around her. "I love you," her voice was airy, and tired, but earnest.

I led her gently towards the bed and laid down, pulling her close to me. "I love you so much."

I kissed the top of her head, and the scent of her shampoo, vanilla and sandalwood, drifted around me. I ran my fingers through her hair until I drifted off to sleep, feeling a sense of calm for the first time in a long time. We didn't know what would happen in the courts, but she was safe now, and no one was after her anymore. We could rest and hopefully begin to heal.

* * *

A/N: This chapter was hard to let go of, it means we are almost finished with this story. I believe I'll have an even 30 chapters, we go back to Japan in the next one and I'm so excited for that! Please review and let me know what you think, it always makes my day to get those e-mail notifications.


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: Well hello everyone, I've edited every single chapter, mostly just small things but content in chapter 1 and chapter 19 so you may want to reread those. I needed to read it all again to be able to finish this one and really make it what I wanted it to be. This is officially the longest chapter of the story so I hope you enjoy it. Thank you Ai Star, RogueSummersLover, Princessa Muse, and BDC for your reviews!

I don't own Digimon or A Piece of Your Heart, by Mayday Parade.

Chapter 29

* * *

" _And I don't know, I just can feel it in the atmosphere  
If I'm wandering, I've wandered into just the right spot  
You are the fire in my sleep, you are the reason I dream  
And just for when we're apart I've got a piece of your heart"_

* * *

I was warm, from the two drinks I'd had since arriving, and the strong arms that circled my waist. The venue smelled like various foods, that covered tables we had set up, and sticky spilled drinks, but it was the scent of him, his warm earthiness, that grounded me in the crowd. Davis's eyes bugged out of his head as he got to the climax of a story he was telling, talking enthusiastically with his hands, while Yolei interjected taunts, and sighs, in all the appropriate places.

Around us were more friends, and family, we'd planned a huge get together between Christmas and New Years with everyone. The band was setting up, Colin and John had come with us, they were staying with Matt and his dad while they were here. We'd rented out a bar for the night so we could hold everyone. I looked across the room and watched my mother and father chatting with T.K's father, while his mother seemed to be avoiding my parents, still feeling guilty and awkward. Yolei poked me in the side, stealing me out of my thoughts, and started telling a story about the store.

I had been so afraid they wouldn't welcome me back, but it wasn't like that at all, coming home was almost like waking up from a long nightmare.

* * *

I took in the familiar buildings, the way the late afternoon light would gleam off the glass, and the children giggling as they ran by with treats from the store. This was the reunion I'd been dreading the most, so I planned to do it first. I figured ripping the band-aid off quickly was the best.

The bell chimed as I walked through the Inoue's shop door, "Hey there," came a disembodied voice from behind an aisle. I felt my heart start to beat to quickly and forced myself to take a deep breathe. One of Yolei's older sisters came out of the aisle with a crate of apples in her arm.

"Well I'll be damned," She stared at me with an open mouth, surprised, yet amusement glimmered in her eyes, "Hey Yolei, get out here." She shouted behind her, and before I could issue a greeting, headed past me to stock the produce.

"Whaaaat!" Her trademark screech echoed through the store. "You know I'm working back here, the schedule isn't going to write itself." She grumbled out the last bit as she turned down the same aisle her sister came out of, and stopped dead when she saw me.

I tried to open my mouth, but felt frozen, like nothing I could possibly come up with would ever articulate the sorry I felt.

Her hair was the same, lovely, lavender color, it had been since we were children, pulled back haphazardly onto her head. Her glasses were still round, but a little thicker, and more trendy. Her face, as always was clean of makeup, never needing to cover her clear complexion. Five years had allowed her to grow into her height, she was still slim, but filled out in all the places a girl wished to be.

She placed her hands on her hips, "You know I'm mad at you."

My heart started to race again, I knew this wouldn't be easy, maybe I wasn't prepared for this after all. I started to say sorry but I couldn't finish. She closed the space between us and pulled me into a bone crushing hug.

"Tell me everything, and no more hiding, okay?" Her voice hitched a bit, but it was uncharacteristic and soft, motherly in a way.

I nodded into her shoulder, knowing if I said anything I would start crying, and I didn't want to fall apart in the middle of the store.

"I'm going out for a bit. I'll be back before you need to leave," she told her sister, as she pulled me towards the exit.

We were gone before her sister could respond, Yolei lead us down to a small park around the block and plopped us down on a bench, and then there was silence. Neither of us quite knowing what to say, I dug my foot into the ground below us, internally kicking myself for my inability to say anything.

"You're different," She said, taking in my appearance. After traveling all day I was in black leggings, combat boots, a cropped pale pink sweatshirt, and black leather jacket. My hair down, a bit messy from travel, and my face clean except for eyeliner, and mascara. I'd started adding back some softness into my wardrobe, but there was something I enjoyed about the moodiness that had entered into my closet after leaving Japan.

"We're both different," I tried to reason.

"No one said you'd be home," She kept her voice soft.

"I just wanted to take my time seeing people, and I didn't want it to become a thing about me, I thought this might be better." My hands were clasped in my lap, it was taking all my mental energy not to fidget.

"How long have you been home?"

"I just got in about an hour ago. You were the first person I came to see."

"Really?"

"Mmhmm," I nodded, turning towards her an pulling one of my legs up on the bench.

She sat forward, looking down at the ground underneath us, tapping her foot quickly against the pavement.

"So," She left it in the air for a second but looked up towards me before I could start, "What the hell happened?" Her voice broke my heart, betrayal, and a desperate desire to understand woven into her words.

I started from the beginning, telling her about T.K. and I. I never even told her we slept together, it was my secret to keep, and I didn't want anyone into the most intimate part of our relationship back then. She grabbed my hands as I told her about the baby, about what we lost, we both cried silent tears as I spoke. I moved on, and into meeting Michael at school, what those four years were like, and how he changed and became more abusive as time went on. Finally, I got to the last few months and the whirlwind it had been.

After Michael was apprehended, his family forced him to settle, unwilling to help him with legal fees on a case that would drag his family through the tabloids. Several of the other women were suing him in civil court, but I wasn't following those cases. I understand why they were choosing that route and was supportive if they reached out, but I wasn't looking for financial compensation.

His mother reached out to me personally, apologizing for her son, she was mortified to find out the kind of person he turned out to be. She told me she had seen signs of it when he was young, a temper that could flare quickly, but it dissipated as he got older, at least with family. I believe she was genuine, she'd always been kind to me, and never defended him in the press as everything fell apart.

After the call, about a month went by, and I was going through the mail one day when I opened an envelope from her with an extremely large check inside of it. I called her, telling her I couldn't take it, that I didn't want it. She cried, begging me, saying it was the only thing she could do, the only thing she knew how to do. I sat with it for a few days, trying to figure out what to do, eventually I put some aside for therapy bills that were starting to pile up. The medical bills I could justify, but anything else felt dirty, I didn't want to build a life based off of blood money. So I spent some time researching, and found a shelter for women who were escaping abusive relationships, and quietly donated the rest there. I felt lighter with it gone.

Since then, we've just been trying to get back to normal. T.K. got hired as a bartender where I preformed, and they brought me on to waitress on my free nights. My friend was worried about having the two of us there together, he was sure no one would want to spend that much time with their significant other, so he made sure we each worked one day when the other had off. He was surprised to find that we never argued, or bickered, like he expected us to, we were just happy to have more time together.

When he wasn't working he spent most days writing, hold up in the bedroom, only leaving to grab coffee, and snacks, throughout the day. He was powering through something he wouldn't let me near, he just kept saying it wasn't ready for other eyes yet. I spent my free time looking for auditions, or going on them. I had a few call backs but nothing worked out yet, and some days it was so discouraging I wanted to stop. I knew this was how it worked though, you get told no six thousand times but all you need it one yes to make it, so I kept going.

Sora had several interviews with different clothing companies for assistant designer positions, she was still waiting to hear from a few, in the meantime she continued to work on her own designs.

Matt and Colin continued to work on new music, Colin took DJ gigs on the side, and John was still bouncing at a few different bars. We committed to doing one show a month in the city to keep momentum. Matt was hoping to work on an album after the new year, and maybe try touring again the following year.

Trevor was a wildcard. He decided to stay in rehab longer, Matt said he was worried if he came out too soon he'd fall back into it, and he wanted this time to be the last.

Trevor's sister's death had been officially ruled a homicide, ensuring Michael would probably never see the light of day again. Between that, and all the charges against me and the other girls, he was given thirty years to life, with the possibility of parole after twenty-five years, I didn't have to worry about him for a very, very, long time, and he couldn't hurt anyone anymore.

By the time I caught Yolei up on everything she had to get back, but we agreed to have everyone get together the following night.

She held me tight before I left her outside of the store.

"Thank you for not hating me," I squeezed her tightly.

"Don't leave for another five years, okay?" She pulled back, shooting me a wink.

I nodded, afraid if I said anything I would cry again. I continued to hold back tears as I headed home, amazed at how understanding the friends I had were, so grateful that they allowed me back into their lives. I knew I'd never let them down again.

I walked across the city to my next destination, home.

Unlike Yolei, my parents did know I was coming and would be waiting for me. Tai was working but would be home to have dinner with us later. I stood in front of my door, trying to decide if I should knock or not. I still had my old key, never able to get rid of it, but it felt like an intrusion if I just walked in. I gently knocked on the door and waited.

The door opened to my mother, wiping her hands on the apron wrapped around her waist, but once she saw it was me she moved so fast I couldn't even get a good look at her.

She pulled me in close, running her hands through my tangled hair, "I always knew you'd come back." She pulled back, "I mean, look at you. You're an adult now."

While she took in my appearance I got a chance to really see her. She was still beautiful without even trying, minimal makeup on her face, and her hair pulled back into a low ponytail, while wearing a simple T-shirt and loose cuffed jeans. She looked older, but not aged. Her skin was still smooth, and clear, she just had more lines around her mouth, and eyes, and was starting to get a few on her forehead.

"Come in, I can't believe you knocked, don't do that again." She jokingly scolded me. Ushering me into the house, and into the kitchen, where she was concocting something, probably horrifying, for dinner.

"Where is dad?" I asked, cautiously. I knew how my mother would react but was still weary about my father. I wasn't sure how much my mother had told him. My mom and I were caught up, and had been talking about once a week, but my father never seemed to be home when I called.

"He should be home soon he just had to run out," she said, turning around and tending to the food.

We caught up on little things while I helped her in the kitchen. She told me about extended family, how Tai seemed to be doing, and gossip from a few friends.

It was about a half an hour later when the door opened and my brother came barreling into the apartment, he ran over and lifted me out of the chair, spinning me a bit as I exploded into a fit of giggles, hugging my brother tightly. He set me down, and I saw my father standing behind him, Tai saw my gaze and stepped out of the way.

He looked tired, and had circles under his eyes from a long day at work, but also age. The top two buttons of his shirt were undone and his tie sat loosely around his shoulders. He looked at me for a moment like I was a stranger, there was a sadness in his eyes that I couldn't stand, knowing I had put it there. I moved quickly towards him, and he dropped his briefcase as I launched myself into his arms.

"I missed you dad," I buried my face in his shoulder.

"Missed you too, little girl," He said, fondly.

I backed away but he held onto my arms gently, "You aren't so little anymore though, huh?" He ruffled my hair before stepping back.

"We have a lot to catch up on," I said, before turning to see my mother wiping her eyes, while Tai's face held a lopsided smile.

We spent the next few hours, catching up, crying, and sort of eating my mom's weird ramen. I thought my father would be angry when I told him why I left, what caused it, but I was surprised by his reaction. He wished we'd have waited, but pointed out how old my mother was when she had Tai, she was only 19-years-old. I felt stupid then, I never even thought about where my parents would have been coming from. My mother never went to college, she was happy to be a wife and mother at home, and had only been a year out of high school when she got pregnant with Tai.

I accepted their, semi lecture, on coming home and talking to them instead of hiding secrets, I couldn't tell them T.K.'s mothers part in it, it just didn't feel right. While her words were part of what made me decide to go, I also didn't blame her, I could have chosen differently, and I didn't want to create unnecessary tension between our families.

We'd moved into the living room, relaxing, listening to my parents tell stories from the last few years when we heard a knock at the door. I got up, knowing it was T.K., my parents had told him to stop by after dinner.

He hugged me sweetly before heading in.

My mother had gotten up to greet him, she hugged him tightly and whispered something I couldn't hear. She pulled him back and looked over him. "You look different, lighter?"

"I could say the same about you," he smiled brightly.

"Can I borrow you?" My father asked from across the room.

I furrowed my brow, confused.

"Sure," he said, a bit weary, looking towards me with question in his eyes but all I could do was shrug.

I started to follow them but my father stopped me and said he just wanted to talk to T.K. so I watched them walk into my fathers office, hoping he wasn't about to lecture him, or worse.

* * *

Her father walked into the room before me, facing away, and picking up a photo frame with a picture I couldn't make out before putting it back down and straightening it out on his desk.

"You're the only boy Tai never ran off? Why do you think that is?" His voice was calm, he turned to face me, leaning against the desk with his expression unreadable.

I cleared my throat, "I'm not sure, Sir."

"It's because I knew he'd never baby her, or let her wallow in her misery," Tai, had snuck into the room and was leaning against the door, smirking, but I was lost.

I eyed him curiously, I hadn't expected that answer, to be honest I assumed it was just the length of time he'd known me.

"When Kari was little she was always up in her head, lost in her own little world, and being so sickly she spent a lot of time home alone with just mom. One year, We thought she'd end up back a grade after being so sick. She got use to being on her own and didn't make a lot of friends, even though she was extremely kind. For years, I was her best friend, and I was happy to be, but I also wanted her to have her own people." Tai strode over to the love seat across the room, plopping himself down. "She hid a lot from us, never wanting to worry anyone, and sometimes looked so lonely it was crushing." He looked back up at me, a smile spreading across his face, "Then there was you. You were scared a lot that first summer and I just wanted to help watch over you, but the second my sister showed up you did a 180, you stood your ground and wanted to be brave for her, for all of us. You made her smile, and laugh, and accepted the quiet, thoughtful, way about her. She started coming out of her shell after that summer, and started making more friends in school, and once you showed up again things changed even more. You didn't let her get lost inside herself, you challenged her, while still keeping her safe every step of the way. I always knew you'd not only protect her, but help her to grow. What more could I ask for?"

"And what more could I ask for?" Mr. Kamiya said.

Warmth swelled in my chest, I knew Tai approved, but knowing their father did as well, even after everything that happened made me feel so lucky. I didn't have bad parents, I just had absent parents, both working long hours to take care of my brother and I, plus having us be separate made growing up really lonely sometimes. I always thought it was this family who gave something to me, I never thought it could have worked the other way around. I always assumed she was as popular as the day I transferred.

"Just one favor T.K.?" I nodded towards Mr. Kamiya.

"Maybe sure she comes home a bit more often?"

"Of course," I said.

He stood up and walked towards me, holding out his hand, that I shook gratefully, "Thank you." He released my hand, and patted me on the shoulder, before opening the door and heading back out into the living room.

"Why do you look stunned?" Tai asked.

"I'm just," I stopped, searching for the right word, or right feeling convey my gratitude. "I'm just happy." I had nothing profound, just a simple truth.

"Everyone alive in there?" Kari's voice was a mix of humor, and frantic horror.

"What do you think I did to him?" Her father chuckled, his voice getting further away.

I watched as she peaked her head into the room, letting out a sigh at the site of everyone in one piece.

"Really though, what did you think we were going to do to him?" Tai was laughing now, ruffling her hair.

She smoothed it down, before grumbling, "No one tells me anything they just whisk you away."

"It was nothing," I took her hands and wrapped her arms around me, "Everything's perfect."

Tai was on his way out of the room when Kari stopped him.

"Wait," She motioned for him to shut the door.

"What's up," he leaned against it, worry etched onto his features.

"Oh, sorry!," She saw him become grim, "Nothings wrong, I just wanted to ask how the job is going?"

His shoulders relaxed, "Oh, I mean, it's weird. They will be in the middle of explaining something and I'll have to correct them, it's weird knowing the most in the room."

"Must be after spending all these years with Izzy," T.K. joked.

"Seriously," Tai chuckled, "but so far it's just a lot of training on the systems they use, and I'm still not totally sure what I'll be doing. I'll keep everyone posted though."

We quickly headed back out into her living room, not wanting her parents to be suspicious. Tai told them he was taking a research position at the university he'd attended. None of us wanted to worry them with the possibility of us _still_ being wrapped up in the digital world. He said once he got settled and saw that all was quiet, and safe, he'd tell them.

I guess there were still some secrets we couldn't let go of.

* * *

It was chaos.

We'd forced the restaurant to pull two tables together to fit all of us. Yolei, Ken, Davis, Cody, T.K., and I sat around the table, sharing stories from the past few years, exploding into fits of laughter, occasionally shushing each other after getting annoyed looks around the restaurant. We ate quickly and moved down the street to a bar where we could be a little louder without terrorizing everyone around us.

Ken had grown into himself, more confident and outspoken, probably from being around Yolei for all these years, but there was still a softness to him. His features had matured, and sharpened, which only made him more attractive than he'd already been. His jet black hair still hung straight, right to his chin, like a curtain hiding his face, keeping up the mysterious facade he had growing up. When he finished university he joined the academy to become an officer, he wanted to work his way up to detective eventually, noble as ever.

There was more ease to their relationship, Yolei didn't cling to him as she had growing up, they were still attached, but it was more light touches and looks.

Cody had grown quite handsome, the cleanest cut of the group, he already looked like the lawyer he was studying to become. His green eyes gave his, often serious expressions, a gentleness that kept him from looking standoffish. As we entered the bar I watched some girls turn and send long looks in his direction. He seemed to notice, his face turning red as he hurried towards two bar tops in the corner.

"Ohh Cody, you have some admirers," Yolei teased him, sending a wink in his direction.

"Oh, cut it out," He chastised her, "You know I don't have time for that."

She stirred her drink around before pulling out the tiny straw and tossing it, playfully, in his direction. "Lawyers have families too, ya know?"

He dodged the straw, and picked up his drink, taking a sip while grumbling, "This is why I don't go out." There was humor under his annoyance though. It was nice to see their relationship never changed. As an only child, the sibling companionship was something Cody seemed to treasure, even if he didn't always act like it.

"I can go talk to them for you," Davis chimed in with a toothy grin, and a gleam in his eyes.

The reply was a jumbled mix of, "Oh, no, please don't do that," from everyone.

"You guys are harsh," He pouted into his drink.

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, I pulled it out and clicked over to my e-mail, and when I saw the notification I thought I might pass out. "Holy shit!"

"Um, that was aggressive," Yolei sent me a curious glance.

I squealed, and started shaking T.K., "ohmygodohmygodohmygod."

"I'm gonna need more than that," He laughed as I jostled him, trying to grab my phone so he could see what was so exciting.

"They want me to come in for Jenna!"

"Wait, what?!" His eyes lit up.

"Read, read!" I handed him my phone.

"Someone please explain what this means to the rest of us." Yolei whined, wanting to be in on the excitement.

"The team at Waitress, a musical back in the states, reached out to me to come audition for a specific role. They only do that when they are seriously considering you."

"Is it a big role?" Ken asked.

"It's the lead, it's the freaking lead." I jumped up and down, unable to contain myself.

"That's amazing!" Yolei, threw her hands up and came around the table to hug me.

"It's happening." T.K. said, setting my phone down.

"It might actually be." I turned from Yolei, to face him again, and I went up onto my tip toes to give him a kiss.

He settled his forehead against mine, "I'm so proud of you."

"Ken why don't we look like that," Yolei signed, motioning to the two of us.

"Well, you see T.K. is half french and Kari never dyed her hair, among other physical differences," Ken said, plainly.

"Ha, dear, ha ha." Yolei poked him in the side.

As we fell apart into a fit of laughter I looked around at the joyful faces I was surrounded by, the glitter in their eyes from the bar lights, the gentle touches full of love that were spread around this table, and I felt full for the first time in years. These people, this family, who'd I'd been through hell and back with, were people I'd never lock away again.

We spent the rest of the night celebrating. Toasting to anything, and everything, my audition, Davis's cart, T.K.'s extreme secrecy over his book, Cody's admirers, and whatever else came to mind.

Second chances were never guaranteed, so I took mine, held on, and never planned on letting go.

* * *

I picked up my drink from the bar and turned, relaxing my back against it. I couldn't help but smile, the site of everyone in one place when nothing was falling to shit. Matt and the guys were setting up on stage while Kari mingled back and forth, between them, and our friends.

Her gentle laughter floated through the venue, there was a lightness to her I wasn't sure she'd ever find again. Coming home was good for all of us that way, I was happy to be in the States for now, but Odaiba would always be home.

I stopped to see Davis before going home when we first got back, wasting time listening to him ramble about this, and that. Laughing at more of his failed attempts to figure things out with his girl. I felt bad though, zoning out in spots, but thankfully he didn't notice. We parted with plans for the following night to get everyone together. I wandered around for a bit, stopped by the beach, walked by the school, until I had no where else to go except for home.

My mother and I had talked on the phone, and we were okay, but I wasn't sure how seeing her would go. There was still this seed of betrayal I felt in the pit of my stomach when it came back to everything. I paced in front of the apartment for a few minutes, going to open the door but stopping short, until I finally grasped the handle and headed in. I was greeted by silence, save for the water running from the sink in the bathroom. It was the same, save for a new throw blanket over the couch, untouched as they always were when I wasn't around. I wondered how much time she even spent here with me gone, always wrapped up in work, always chasing the next story.

I heard the water turn off and her quiet footprints heading my way, she jumped a bit at the site of me.

"I'm sorry, I should have said hello." I said sheepishly, feeling foolish now for entering in silence.

She shook her head and moved towards me, pulling me tightly into a hug, "I'm just happy you're home."

It took me a second to respond, but I gently hugged her back. She gave me a once over, "You look good, sweetie."

She headed into the kitchen and starting pulling out things to make tea, I wasn't sure what else to do so I sat at the counter, waiting in silence, trying to think of something to say, but falling short.

Her back was to me, waiting for the water to boil, pulling out tea bags and setting them in mugs, when the water finished I watched her hand shake as she tried to pour the water.

"Mom?" I got up to go help her, but she put up her hand and placed the kettle down. When she turned around I saw that her face was red, and her eyes glistened, as she tried to keep herself from crying.

"I'm so sorry, for everything, I'm so sorry." She stood there shaking, and I realized then that I was over being upset, being sad, being angry. I was tired of watching people I cared about sobbing for past mistakes. I just wanted to move on.

"Mom," I placed my hands gently on her arms, "It's over. Let's just move forward."

She nodded, sniffling, and wiping her face of the few tears that fell.

I told her to sit while I finished our tea, I went back to my seat across the counter, and handed her a cup. We caught up on life since the last time we talked.

* * *

I watched her now, chatting with Davis's mom and sister, cooing over the baby. Kari was running by, but Davis's sister stopped her and started talking to her. Our mothers walked over to grab some food. I saw out of the corner of my eye as his sister kind of plopped the baby, who had started crying, into Kari's arms and ran out with her keys in her hand, "I'll be right back," she shouted back.

Her face was a mix of emotions, I headed over probably quicker than I should have, she seemed stunned for a moment before she started to bounce the baby around a bit.

I placed my hand on her low back, "You good?"

A gentle smile crossed her face as the baby stopped crying, and started gurgling, and cooing, "Yea, I'm good."

June scurried back in with a diaper bag over her shoulder, "Oh man, you're a natural. Thank you for hanging onto her," June said.

Kari handed her back, and June bounded back over to her mother who had taken a seat and started eating.

"That was only slightly horrifying," Kari said, still slightly stunned.

"She's right though," I whispered, placing a kiss on her head.

"Hmmh?"

"You're a natural."

She smiled sadly, "Do you think?"

"Next time we'll be ready," I said, knowing what she was asking. I brushed a few stray hairs back behind her ear, and watched the tension in her jaw ease, her brown eyes looking to mine, and finally a calm smile appeared.

My eyes lit up seeing a familiar face walk into the bar, I turned Kari around to see, "No way," I said.

"He actually brought her! She's real," She said, with humor laced through her voice.

We headed over to see our friend Joe, and finally meet his girlfriend, he'd been telling us about her for years but we'd never managed to actually meet her. The trip home felt complete, and we still had surprises to go.

* * *

Matt came out onto the stage, he looked more nervous than normal, and the guys were sharing amused glances behind him, like they were all in on a secret we'd missed.

"Kari, I'm gonna ask that you sit this one out while I bring out a special guest."

I raised my brow, curious, as I clearly wasn't in on said secret. I headed off and went to go stand with Sora and Mimi.

A guitar started to play and I saw T.K. head out onto the stage, "We just wanted to do something special for our girls," Matt said.

He headed off stage and towards us, reaching his hand out to Sora, she took it, he pulled her close and started dancing with her. It was sweet, and outrageously out of character. All of this while T.K. started singing from stage. My jaw dropped. Number one, I did not expect this. Number two, this guy does not sing in front of people. I could tell he was trying to concentrate on playing, but he still managed to be charming on stage. Matt twirled Sora back to us and made his way back onto stage to join T.K. in the song.

Five years ago, you couldn't have convinced me that this would be my life. T.K. sent me sweet little looks through the song, like it was just for me. When they neared the end Matt left T.K. on stage once more, pushing his guitar onto his back and heading again towards Sora. He took both of her hands in his own and pulled her a little away from the crowd.

I had to stop Mimi from squealing, seeing what was probably about to happen, as a few other people around us let out separate gasps.

"Sora, I spent the first part of my life, sure that I'd be alone forever, that I wanted it that way. I saw what pain could come from letting anyone get too close and I didn't want to be on the giving, or receiving, end of that." He paused, taking a shaky breath, "Then I met you, someone who gave their love, and care, so easily to others, someone who helped me open up and let people in again. Then we had to grow up, we had to be complicated and messy at points, and had to learn how to grow with each other each step of the way. You're my first, and only love, and I wouldn't have it any other way. So, Sora, if you'll continue to have me, nothing would make me happier than marrying you. I wouldn't want to spend my life with anyone else."

He turned to T.K. on stage, releasing Sora's hands for a moment as T.K tossed him a little back box. He took it into his hands, got down onto one knee and opened the box to her. He didn't have to say anything else, she was nodding her head, whispering yes. She had happy tears streaming down her face as he got up and pulled her to him for a kiss. Our friends, and families, started clapping and shouting various congratulations. He pulled back and slipped the ring onto her finger. Everyone started to crowd around them, but I made my way to the stage, hopping on the edge and watching from a short distance. T.K. took off the guitar and came to sit beside me.

"How long did you spend on that?" I nudged into him playfully as we watched the scene unfold before us.

"Three months."

"You kept that a secret for _three months_?" I was shocked, he never kept anything from me for long.

"It was an important surprise, and I didn't want to totally suck."

"You were okay." I looked down at my nails, feigning boredom.

" _Just okay?!_ " He put his hand against his chest, in mock shock.

"It was very good," I turned to give him a quick kiss.

"Thank you," he said, still against my mouth, before pulling back. "I'm glad he finally did it."

"Yea, it was sweet, he's so private, that probably meant a lot to her."

"I know, I was surprised when he told me his whole plan, but he wanted her to know how serious he was about it."

We fell silent, he slipped his hand into mine and wove our fingers together.

"Alone," I said it quiet.

"What was that?" He leaned forward to hear me better.

"I want to be alone." I looked towards him seriously. While I was surprised Matt did something so public, I would not be shocked for T.K. to do something like that. He was outgoing, and showy, in his love.

For a moment I felt foolish, I was being a bit presumptuous even after our moment earlier, but whatever moment we could eventually have, I wanted it to be ours alone.

"Alone." he repeated thoughtfully, putting his arm around me and pulling me closer. We left it there, not needing anything else. Happy to watch everyone indulge in Matt and Sora's moment.

* * *

We left a few days later, needing to get back to New York sooner because of my audition.

Now, I stood in front of a table of eight women, the director, musical director, casting director, accompanist, book writer, and three producers. I'd never been this close to being cast before, normally I met with a few assistants, and a casting director. I'd met this, particular, casting director once before, she was kind, and had been the one to reach out to me about today. It was strange, normally it was almost all men, so today felt more calm, like the air in the room was warmer than most auditions. They paid attention while I introduced myself, and actually listened while I sang, instead of thumbing through my resume. I finished the last notes of the song and prepared to say, "thank you," and be let out.

The director put her pen down and sat back in her seat, "Ya know, I wasn't sure about bringing you in but _she_ convinced me otherwise." She pointed to the casting director. "And I'm glad she did." She smiled sitting forward again before looking through my resume.

"I am too, thank you." I replied back, relaxing a bit in my stance.

"So what makes you think you're a good fit for Jenna?"

I thought for a moment, I hadn't expected any sort of interview today, but it wasn't hard for me to zero in on it.

"I understand her, I've held back on dreams because of toxic relationships in my life, because of the crippling fear of being alone, because I thought I wasn't good enough. I've been broken down, and built back up. I know her because I've lived in her shoes and come out the other side."

"And very publicly," she looked up from my resume, stating the thing I feared would keep me out.

"I don't want to be a distraction, I just want to work, and tell stories I'm passionate about," I kept my voice even, I didn't want to sound as desperate as I felt.

"Do you think it would be painful to retell this story each and every night?" The book writer spoke up, it was a genuine question, her eyes were soft, and kind.

"I'm in therapy," I said honestly, "I'm surrounded by people who love me, and even though there is pain in the story, the ending is happy and if I can end every night like that, with the hope the end brings, I can't think of anything more therapeutic."

"Alright, Kari," She looked around the table for a moment, to see if anyone else had a question. "We'll be in touch."

I thanked them and headed out. I didn't know where I stood, I knew I nailed my song, but if they were worried I'd be a distraction it would be a deal breaker. I went home and sat down in front of my computer to look for more auditions, made dinner, and went to bed.

Two days later, T.K. and I were walking through central park. He dragged me out of the house on our day off, because I'd been checking my phone incessantly, and he said I needed to get some air and try to relax. It was a decent day in early January, sunny and clear, not so cold that you couldn't walk around. We were trying to decide on dinner, if we would cook or eat out that night, and we needed to clean the apartment before Matt and Sora got back that weekend.

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, forgetting for the first time in days that it had even been with me, I stopped walking and pulled it out.

"No phone," he playfully scolded me.

"It's ringing," I stared at it, immobile.

"Answer it!" He shook me a bit.

I clicked the answer button, "Hello? Yes, this is her."

T.K. was mouthing me questions. Who is it? Is it the show? I waved him off and turned around.

"Yes, okay. No problem. Monday morning works. Thank you, very much."

I hung up and stood there for a moment.

"Well?!" T.K.'s voice came from behind me.

I turned around and couldn't hide the smile that had broken out across my face.

"I got it," I looked up, his eyes glittered from the midday sun, as his smile grew to match my own.

"I actually got it!" I wrapped my arms around his neck and he picked me up, spinning me around.

We stood there in the park celebrating, uncaring of the world around us. A family walked by us and he shouted, _'she's gonna be a star,'_ to the unsuspecting family. They walked away quickly, startled, as I started laughing and pushing him along towards home.

A year ago my life felt hopeless. I was broken, and living in fear every single day. Now, here I was, living out my dreams in this amazing city. I was reunited with my friends, and family, and with the greatest love I could ever know.

Now, all I had was hope.

* * *

A/N: The song I quoted in the beginning is the one I imagine them singing to Kari and Sora. When I heard it a few months ago I started writing that scene in my head, finally sure how Matt would propose. I hope you liked it!

This chapter was so hard, I tried my best to wrap everything up nicely, before heading into an Epilogue, which means this was the unofficial end to the story! GAH! I've been writing and working on the Epilogue for months now. I've known exactly how it would end for a long time and it's bittersweet to get to this point. I still have some work to do on it, but my plan was to be finished with this story by November and I'm committed to that.

Let me know what you think! How you're feeling! Your reviews and messages have kept me committed to this story when I so often felt blocked and unable to write, so I'm extremely thankful to everyone who has reviewed thus far. Until next time!


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